Chapter 2: Adventure's in Esthar
(Esthar Region)
(The Ragnorak is landed on the air port on the sky scraper in Esthar and everyone gets off.)
Rinoa: Come on Angelo, why dont you come with us.
(Angelo jumps down and gets next to Rinoa.)
(Selphie and Big Bad Rascal run around enthusiastically.)
Selphie: Woo hoo!!!
Big Bad Rascal: Yippee!!!
Zell: I could never put my finger on it before, but Selphie would remind me of someone and now I know who… (looks at Big Bad Rascal).
(Everyone except Selphie and Big Bad Rascal laugh since they are out of ear shot. They go on downstairs and go to the shopping center. Rinoa goes to the Pet Shop, Squall and Irvine go to the Weapons Shop, Zell goes to the Magazine Shop, and Selphie and Big Bad Rascal go to an item shop, and Quistis goes to another item shop. They all browse around.)
Zell: How much for this copy of Fighting Kings?
Salesperson: That'll be 500 gil.
Zell: K. (Pays and leaves the store. Zell picks up his monthly copy of Fighting Kings and practices a few moves from the book while waiting for everyone to come out of the shops. Then notices 3 Esthar Soldiers picking on a moomba. Zell hurries into the Weapons Shop and drags Squall and Irvine out.)
Zell: Those guys are don't look like they are trying to help that moomba out.
(Sees moomba on knees doing the sorrowful pleading bit and one of the soldiers pushes the moomba over. Group runs over.)
Squall: Hey! What do you think you are doing to that moomba?
(Esthar Soldiers, Zip, Zap, and Zoe, look over at Squall, Irvine, and Zell.)
Esthar Soldier, Zap: Mind your own business weakling!
Irvine: Red-fur ball, will you get out of the way?
(Moomba had been watching so far and moves out of the way.)
Esthar Soldier, Zip: Are we gonna have to kick your butts? Come on, let's get them….
(Battle mode begins)
(Squall quickly summons Cactuar and does 10,000 damage to all 3 soldiers.)
Esthar Soldier, Zoe: Ahh!!! And I didn't even get to say something threatening….
(Battle ends)
Irvine: That was lame Squall, they didn't even get a chance to put up a fight.
Squall: Hee Hee Hee….
Zell: You OK, Moomba?
The smaller and can stand on 2 legs Red XIII, Moomba: Yea sure….
Irvine: You can talk????
Moomba: Duh!, and hey, what was all that about me being Red Fur Ball, you egotistical red-neck cow boy wannabe?????
Irvine: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!!!
(Squall has to hold Irvine back.)
Zell: I thought that you could only speak individual words and couldn't be that sarcastic yet?
Moomba: Yea, but a bunch of us have been learning from a man named Laguna Loire.
Zell: Hey, we know him. His daughter sent us into a past type world where we could watch what he was doin'. It sucked there 'cause we could only watch and had no control over there actions. But, from what I saw he was a really….weird.
Moomba: Yea, he was pretty weird. Partly the reason I can be sarcastic is the fact that when Laguna and his two other friends, Kiros and Ward get talking, they drink, and when they drink they get drunk as a dog. They are the three dirtiest old men you've ever known when they are like that.
Zell: That doesn't sound like him but he did go to a bar a lot, when we saw him in the past.
(Irvine, during this conversation, has been trying to shoot moomba but Squall won't let him.)
Squall: Irvine….settle down, man…..
Irvine: (yells) Frickin'-little-sissy-ass-freak-show-wimp….
(Irvine keeps on cussing for a long time, Squall paints a picture and auction's it off for 1,000,001 gil, Zell stops a hot dog vender and buys all that he got and eats it, Moomba takes a nap and wakes up and has a cup of coffee, then sends a letter to Guinness Book of World Records to put Irvine in there for "Saying the most words without taking a breath".)
Irvine: god-damn-frickin-rickin-supercalifragilistic-nerd-o-rama-little…..
(Another 15 minutes pass.)
Irvine: stupid-idiotic-mother…..
Moomba: Shut up!!!!!!!!….Draw: Silence (Little bubble containing "…" appears above Irvine's head).
(Irvine is still making mouth gestures.)
Zell: And you can cast magic? When did you guys get to do magic, I thought only monsters that fight and people could cast magic.
Moomba: Squall's dad got drunk and got into a $50,000 gil bet that he could make a Moomba talk. Well you can guess who the unlucky participant was.
Squall: Ummmm, uhhhh, Let's go see how Rinoa and the others are doing.
Moomba: Can I come along, I need a lift to Balamb Garden. They sent a letter to Shumi Village asking for a couple of moombas to come down and work for them. The job is basically making sure the T-Rexaurs don't kill all the newbies in the Training Center. Just let me find my two friend and we can go, maybe you know them, they are called Raijin and Fujin?
Zell: Oh, they go to school with us….
Squall: Sure, lets go.
(Irvine throws a Echo Screen on himself and gets his lovely, cussing voice back. They get about 3 feet when a Esthar Official yells at them.)
Esthar Official: You are the guys that beat up those soldiers. For that you are banned from the shopping center, and you children, and you children's children, and your children's children's children……….. for three months.
Squall: OK, be back tomorrow.
(Back in Shopping Center)
(Everyone is waiting in the center for Squall, Irvine, and Zell, except for Big Bad Rascal who is in the item shop eating as many candies as he can find.)
Selphie: Where have you guys been?
Quistis: And what's the Moomba doing with you?
Rinoa: He's cute….
(Angelo comes up to Moomba and sniffs him. Moomba hisses at Angelo and the dog hides behind Rinoa. Moomba sticks out his tongue and pulls down the bottom of his eye.)
Irvine: We had to save the little wimp from three esthar soldiers.
Selphie: Why were you being attacked by three soldiers?
Moomba: Cause they are racist and dont like creatures that aren't human….oh, and I laughed at them when they tripped and fell on each other.
(Everyone rolls their eyes and is silent for a while.)
Squall: He's gonna go to the Balamb Garden to work….
(Big Bad Rascal comes out and sees the Moomba, pulls out a big stick and starts hitting the Moomba. Everyone looks astonished for a moment.)
Moomba: OW! Hey, you little… don't make me kick your butt…
Zell: You little brat, stop that!!!!
(Grabs stick away.)
Big Bad Rascal: But he's red and a creature and can speak….
Zell: What does that have to do with anything????
Big Bad Rascal: I dunno, that's what I saw and suddenly I had a an urge to hit him….
Moomba: -_-S ummm… whatever, just stop kid before I knock a few teeth out of your head…..
Big Bad Rascal: ulp!….. (Hides behind Squall.)
Irvine: Lets go find Raijin and Fujin….
Quistis: Huh? They are here?
Squall: Yea, apparently he is here with them.
Selphie: Yea, lets go find them!!!
Big Bad rascal: (talking to squall) Is she always this hyper??
Squall: Yea, kinda uncanny isn't it?
Big bad Rascal: How am I supposed to compare to that kind of hyperness…..?
(Esthar City)
(Everyone follows looking around and have conversations with random generic characters. Eventually stopping in the center of the city to stop and rest.)
Rinoa: Where in the hell are those two?
(Suddenly a loud familiar voice is heard from the street overhead.)
The fun loving latino, Raijin: Hey Fujin, wanna go on a date, ya know?!?!?
The gray haired almost mute lady, Fujin: NO!
(Then a loud punch is heard and Raijin flies off the top street and hits the street in front of Squall and co.)
Raijin: owwww, ya know…. (Stays laying down on ground.)
(Fujin jumps off the top street and lands gracefully on the street below.)
Fujin: ASSHOLE!
Big Bad Rascal: Cool!
Fujin: BABY!!!
(Raijin gets up slowly groaning and holding a hand over his black eye.)
Raijin: (is hurting bad) Playing…hard to….get…., ya know. (smiles)
Whole Group except Fujin and Raijin: -_-S
(Fujin shakes him repeatedly.)
Fujin: FOOL!
Moomba: ummm… hi Raijin, hi Fujin.
(Fujin and Raijin look over surprised. Then both look embarrassed cause someone was watching.)
Fujin: HI!
Raijin: Hey Moomba, what cha up to, ya know?
Moomba: Nothin, just about to head to Balamb Garden. These guys are being nice enough to give us a lift back.
Fujin: COOL!
Rinoa: Come on lets go before they change their minds, I dont want to have to rent another car, ya know.
(Everyone starts heading back to the Ragnorak.)
(Top of Esthar Plane Parking Skyscraper.)
(They get to the top of the skyscraper in 15 minutes and 300 kicks to Raijin from Fujin later.)
Squall: What's this?
(Picks up a piece of paper that is on the airship. Paper reads "Your red airship is parked in a blue airship only zone, you will be fined 1,000,002 gil.)
Squall: (Little vein sticks out of forehead.) WTF!!!!!
(Squall sits down and starts crying.)
Rinoa: Its OK… (rubs Squall's back slowly and comfortingly.)
Big Bad Rascal: I hate to see a grown man cry… (Puts a paper bag over Squall's head.)
(2 holes burn in the paper bag from where he is angrily staring at BBR.)
Moomba Mage: I'm going to shorten his name seeing how its getting annoying spelling that big name over and over….
BBR: WTF!!! You put my name back to normal now!
Moomba Mage: Shut up or I change it to Behemoth Butt Ralph.
BBR: OK, OK, you win…
Quistis: (whispering to Zell) Who's he talking to??? (indicating BBR).
Zell: dunno, I find it better not to ask….
Quistis: OK….
Selphie: OK, lets go….
Raijin: Seeing how Squall has a paper bag over his head, how about I fly, ya know?
Fujin: NEGATIVE!, …..CRASH!, …..DIE!
Rinoa: Anyone ever notice that Fujin talks like a slow version of that guy from star trek?
Fujin: WHAT!!!! (Tries to tackle Rinoa but is held back by Squall, Moomba, Irvine, and Quistis.)
Zell: ummm…. I think I'll drive this time….
(Esthar Region)
(The Ragnorak is landed on the air port on the sky scraper in Esthar and everyone gets off.)
Rinoa: Come on Angelo, why dont you come with us.
(Angelo jumps down and gets next to Rinoa.)
(Selphie and Big Bad Rascal run around enthusiastically.)
Selphie: Woo hoo!!!
Big Bad Rascal: Yippee!!!
Zell: I could never put my finger on it before, but Selphie would remind me of someone and now I know who… (looks at Big Bad Rascal).
(Everyone except Selphie and Big Bad Rascal laugh since they are out of ear shot. They go on downstairs and go to the shopping center. Rinoa goes to the Pet Shop, Squall and Irvine go to the Weapons Shop, Zell goes to the Magazine Shop, and Selphie and Big Bad Rascal go to an item shop, and Quistis goes to another item shop. They all browse around.)
Zell: How much for this copy of Fighting Kings?
Salesperson: That'll be 500 gil.
Zell: K. (Pays and leaves the store. Zell picks up his monthly copy of Fighting Kings and practices a few moves from the book while waiting for everyone to come out of the shops. Then notices 3 Esthar Soldiers picking on a moomba. Zell hurries into the Weapons Shop and drags Squall and Irvine out.)
Zell: Those guys are don't look like they are trying to help that moomba out.
(Sees moomba on knees doing the sorrowful pleading bit and one of the soldiers pushes the moomba over. Group runs over.)
Squall: Hey! What do you think you are doing to that moomba?
(Esthar Soldiers, Zip, Zap, and Zoe, look over at Squall, Irvine, and Zell.)
Esthar Soldier, Zap: Mind your own business weakling!
Irvine: Red-fur ball, will you get out of the way?
(Moomba had been watching so far and moves out of the way.)
Esthar Soldier, Zip: Are we gonna have to kick your butts? Come on, let's get them….
(Battle mode begins)
(Squall quickly summons Cactuar and does 10,000 damage to all 3 soldiers.)
Esthar Soldier, Zoe: Ahh!!! And I didn't even get to say something threatening….
(Battle ends)
Irvine: That was lame Squall, they didn't even get a chance to put up a fight.
Squall: Hee Hee Hee….
Zell: You OK, Moomba?
The smaller and can stand on 2 legs Red XIII, Moomba: Yea sure….
Irvine: You can talk????
Moomba: Duh!, and hey, what was all that about me being Red Fur Ball, you egotistical red-neck cow boy wannabe?????
Irvine: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!!!
(Squall has to hold Irvine back.)
Zell: I thought that you could only speak individual words and couldn't be that sarcastic yet?
Moomba: Yea, but a bunch of us have been learning from a man named Laguna Loire.
Zell: Hey, we know him. His daughter sent us into a past type world where we could watch what he was doin'. It sucked there 'cause we could only watch and had no control over there actions. But, from what I saw he was a really….weird.
Moomba: Yea, he was pretty weird. Partly the reason I can be sarcastic is the fact that when Laguna and his two other friends, Kiros and Ward get talking, they drink, and when they drink they get drunk as a dog. They are the three dirtiest old men you've ever known when they are like that.
Zell: That doesn't sound like him but he did go to a bar a lot, when we saw him in the past.
(Irvine, during this conversation, has been trying to shoot moomba but Squall won't let him.)
Squall: Irvine….settle down, man…..
Irvine: (yells) Frickin'-little-sissy-ass-freak-show-wimp….
(Irvine keeps on cussing for a long time, Squall paints a picture and auction's it off for 1,000,001 gil, Zell stops a hot dog vender and buys all that he got and eats it, Moomba takes a nap and wakes up and has a cup of coffee, then sends a letter to Guinness Book of World Records to put Irvine in there for "Saying the most words without taking a breath".)
Irvine: god-damn-frickin-rickin-supercalifragilistic-nerd-o-rama-little…..
(Another 15 minutes pass.)
Irvine: stupid-idiotic-mother…..
Moomba: Shut up!!!!!!!!….Draw: Silence (Little bubble containing "…" appears above Irvine's head).
(Irvine is still making mouth gestures.)
Zell: And you can cast magic? When did you guys get to do magic, I thought only monsters that fight and people could cast magic.
Moomba: Squall's dad got drunk and got into a $50,000 gil bet that he could make a Moomba talk. Well you can guess who the unlucky participant was.
Squall: Ummmm, uhhhh, Let's go see how Rinoa and the others are doing.
Moomba: Can I come along, I need a lift to Balamb Garden. They sent a letter to Shumi Village asking for a couple of moombas to come down and work for them. The job is basically making sure the T-Rexaurs don't kill all the newbies in the Training Center. Just let me find my two friend and we can go, maybe you know them, they are called Raijin and Fujin?
Zell: Oh, they go to school with us….
Squall: Sure, lets go.
(Irvine throws a Echo Screen on himself and gets his lovely, cussing voice back. They get about 3 feet when a Esthar Official yells at them.)
Esthar Official: You are the guys that beat up those soldiers. For that you are banned from the shopping center, and you children, and you children's children, and your children's children's children……….. for three months.
Squall: OK, be back tomorrow.
(Back in Shopping Center)
(Everyone is waiting in the center for Squall, Irvine, and Zell, except for Big Bad Rascal who is in the item shop eating as many candies as he can find.)
Selphie: Where have you guys been?
Quistis: And what's the Moomba doing with you?
Rinoa: He's cute….
(Angelo comes up to Moomba and sniffs him. Moomba hisses at Angelo and the dog hides behind Rinoa. Moomba sticks out his tongue and pulls down the bottom of his eye.)
Irvine: We had to save the little wimp from three esthar soldiers.
Selphie: Why were you being attacked by three soldiers?
Moomba: Cause they are racist and dont like creatures that aren't human….oh, and I laughed at them when they tripped and fell on each other.
(Everyone rolls their eyes and is silent for a while.)
Squall: He's gonna go to the Balamb Garden to work….
(Big Bad Rascal comes out and sees the Moomba, pulls out a big stick and starts hitting the Moomba. Everyone looks astonished for a moment.)
Moomba: OW! Hey, you little… don't make me kick your butt…
Zell: You little brat, stop that!!!!
(Grabs stick away.)
Big Bad Rascal: But he's red and a creature and can speak….
Zell: What does that have to do with anything????
Big Bad Rascal: I dunno, that's what I saw and suddenly I had a an urge to hit him….
Moomba: -_-S ummm… whatever, just stop kid before I knock a few teeth out of your head…..
Big Bad Rascal: ulp!….. (Hides behind Squall.)
Irvine: Lets go find Raijin and Fujin….
Quistis: Huh? They are here?
Squall: Yea, apparently he is here with them.
Selphie: Yea, lets go find them!!!
Big Bad rascal: (talking to squall) Is she always this hyper??
Squall: Yea, kinda uncanny isn't it?
Big bad Rascal: How am I supposed to compare to that kind of hyperness…..?
(Esthar City)
(Everyone follows looking around and have conversations with random generic characters. Eventually stopping in the center of the city to stop and rest.)
Rinoa: Where in the hell are those two?
(Suddenly a loud familiar voice is heard from the street overhead.)
The fun loving latino, Raijin: Hey Fujin, wanna go on a date, ya know?!?!?
The gray haired almost mute lady, Fujin: NO!
(Then a loud punch is heard and Raijin flies off the top street and hits the street in front of Squall and co.)
Raijin: owwww, ya know…. (Stays laying down on ground.)
(Fujin jumps off the top street and lands gracefully on the street below.)
Fujin: ASSHOLE!
Big Bad Rascal: Cool!
Fujin: BABY!!!
(Raijin gets up slowly groaning and holding a hand over his black eye.)
Raijin: (is hurting bad) Playing…hard to….get…., ya know. (smiles)
Whole Group except Fujin and Raijin: -_-S
(Fujin shakes him repeatedly.)
Fujin: FOOL!
Moomba: ummm… hi Raijin, hi Fujin.
(Fujin and Raijin look over surprised. Then both look embarrassed cause someone was watching.)
Fujin: HI!
Raijin: Hey Moomba, what cha up to, ya know?
Moomba: Nothin, just about to head to Balamb Garden. These guys are being nice enough to give us a lift back.
Fujin: COOL!
Rinoa: Come on lets go before they change their minds, I dont want to have to rent another car, ya know.
(Everyone starts heading back to the Ragnorak.)
(Top of Esthar Plane Parking Skyscraper.)
(They get to the top of the skyscraper in 15 minutes and 300 kicks to Raijin from Fujin later.)
Squall: What's this?
(Picks up a piece of paper that is on the airship. Paper reads "Your red airship is parked in a blue airship only zone, you will be fined 1,000,002 gil.)
Squall: (Little vein sticks out of forehead.) WTF!!!!!
(Squall sits down and starts crying.)
Rinoa: Its OK… (rubs Squall's back slowly and comfortingly.)
Big Bad Rascal: I hate to see a grown man cry… (Puts a paper bag over Squall's head.)
(2 holes burn in the paper bag from where he is angrily staring at BBR.)
Moomba Mage: I'm going to shorten his name seeing how its getting annoying spelling that big name over and over….
BBR: WTF!!! You put my name back to normal now!
Moomba Mage: Shut up or I change it to Behemoth Butt Ralph.
BBR: OK, OK, you win…
Quistis: (whispering to Zell) Who's he talking to??? (indicating BBR).
Zell: dunno, I find it better not to ask….
Quistis: OK….
Selphie: OK, lets go….
Raijin: Seeing how Squall has a paper bag over his head, how about I fly, ya know?
Fujin: NEGATIVE!, …..CRASH!, …..DIE!
Rinoa: Anyone ever notice that Fujin talks like a slow version of that guy from star trek?
Fujin: WHAT!!!! (Tries to tackle Rinoa but is held back by Squall, Moomba, Irvine, and Quistis.)
Zell: ummm…. I think I'll drive this time….