Chapter 5: Realization
(Everyone is outside and a little groggy. Even Selphie and BBR, who are usually so perky, are looking like the living dead.)
Irvine: Hey everyone, let's go to Starbucks and get some coffee.
(Everyone lets out grumbles and groans that can only mean yes. So everyone starts shambling around town looking for a Starbucks.)
(And suddenly…)
Generic Woman, Macy: EEK! ZOMBIES!!
(Woman pulls out a can of Zombie-B-Gone and starts sprays it on the FF8 group. Group suddenly has all HP healed.)
Generic Woman, Macy: Oh wait, you not zombies…
Squall: What was that?
Generic Woman, Macy: Oh, basically a revive spell in a can.
Rinoa: Didn't know you could do that.
BBR: Need coffee…
Rinoa: Um, miss, do you know where a Starbucks is?
Generic Woman, Macy: Starbucks? What's that?
Raijin: It's a place to get coffee, ya know.
Generic Woman, Macy: OH, you mean Cometbuck's. Just go down the street 'til you see the Bubba's weapon shop and then turn left, you can't miss it.
Fujin: COMETBUCK'S…
Squall: Whatever… Let's go.
(Cometbuck's)
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Hi, can I take your order?
Squall: We'll have an irish cream, 2 lattes, 2 mocha's, a black, an orange juice, 2 hot chocolates, and a diet soda….
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: OK, and will there be anything else?
Zell: (Yells from both.) Hey Squall, get 2 dozen donuts.
Squall…whatever. I need 2 dozen donuts.
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: OK, what kinds?
Squall: Surprise us….
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Do you want sprinkles?
Squall: Don't care…
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Do you want nuts?
Squall: No.
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want me to get your lunch while I'm at it?
Squall: No!
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want an oil transfer on your vehicle?
Squall: NO!
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want your order?
Squall: NO!….wait-a-minute…..
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: (Does Nelson from the Simpsons laugh.) Ha Ha!
Squall: (Grabs Walter's shirt and lifts him up.) LOOK!, get us our frickin' order before I chop you in half with this big ass sword of mine.
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: OK, OK, OK….. (Walks away for a second and returns with order.) Here you go.
(Squall takes the order.)
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: Would you like anything else?
(Squall looks at him evilly and just walks back to his table.)
Squall: OK, here's your stuff. (Sits order on table and takes his latte.)
(Everyone takes their drinks. Moomba and BBR start grabbing donuts and gobbling them down.)
Selphie: (Watches Moomba and BBR.) Man, someone can lose an arm in there.
Zell: Hmmmmm…. Let's try something…
(Zell nonchalantly grabs Raijin's wooden staff and sticks an end into the area above the donuts. In a second the end of the staff is turned into sawdust by 2 gnawing mouths.)
Raijin: O.O MY STAFF!!!!
Quistis: Man….
Rinoa: I didn't know we had beavers here.
(BBR burps and starts drinking while Moomba stops eating and takes a catnap.)
Raijin: (Has a tear in his eye.) But what about my staff???
Zell: Don't worry, I'll repair it.
Rinoa: Let's go to the Ragnorak and see if we can find where in the hell we are.
BBR: I thought we did know where we were? We are in North Corel.
Rinoa: (Hits her forehead with disgust.) Duh, we know that this is North Corel but none of us have ever seen or heard of North Corel in our lives.
BBR: Oh.
(Inside Ragnorak)
Zell: Quistis come here and let's see if we can find out where we are….
Squall: Come one Rinoa, lets go see if there's any cleaning up we can do in the back…
Rinoa: I don't want to clean!!!!!!!!
Squall: (Makes a naughty smile and hints they should go in the back room.) Just come on…
Rinoa: Oh, OK!
(Squall and Rinoa go into the back room and accidentally leave the door open a crack. Squall and Rinoa can be seen and heard kissing.)
Moomba: (Goes and pounds on the door.) You two, go get a room!
Squall: OK…
(Squall and Rinoa go upstairs to the room.)
Moomba: Oy!
Quistis: Anyway, let's check the map and computer data banks to see where we are.
Zell: Hold on a sec, I'm setting the computer's audio and receptors up so that we can just ask the computer what we want to know and it will say it.
Selphie: OK wiz kid.
(Zell gives her an annoyed look and continues working.)
BBR: I'm bored…
Selphie: How can you be bored? This is more excitement than most generic people get in a lifetime!
BBR: I want to go to that amusement park that everyone in town kept talking about… what was it called? I think it was something like Bronze Teacup… no, that's not it, maybe Yellow Crumpet….
Fujin: GOLD SAUCER!!!!
BBR: How do you know, you dumb broad?
Fujin: (Rolls her eyes.) SIGN!!! (Points out window at giant billboard that says, "Come see Gold Saucer!" and below has directions saying that to get to Gold Saucer just enter North Corel and go to ropeway and ride up to it.)
BBR: (Feeling kind of dumb and tries to hide it by saying….) Anyway, let's go.
Quistis: No! We have to get this ship fixed and ready to go….
Raijin: Awww, come on… don't be so mean, let's go and check the place out, ya know?
Zell: Go ahead, its gonna be a while but I need Irvine and Fujin to help… (Loud noise from Squall and Rinoa's current location sounds through the ship.) I'm pretty sure, though, that Squall and Rinoa are a little busy and won't want to come right now.
Quistis: Ugh, why do I have a feeling that I'm being dragged into one of those moments where if you don't go somewhere or do something you will not be able to leave or move on?
Moomba: Oh stop pouting, let's go.
(Ropeway Boarding Station)
Quistis: Look at that rickety thing, I'm not going on…
Selphie: Oh, come on scaredy-cat! (Selphie grabs Quistis's hand and drags her onto the ropeway.)
(Door is shut and the ropeway cart takes them slowly up to Gold Saucer.)
BBR: This looks fun….
Quistis: (Is shuddering and turning green in a corner.) I hate this… I hate this… I hate this… (Keeps on repeating.)
Raijin: Just enjoy the ride and think happy thoughts, ya know.
Quistis: Hmmm…. Well let's see…. Getting off this damn deathtrap of a cart would be nice….
Selphie: Hey, don't cuss in front of the kid.
Quistis: (Sarcastically) Like the lil' brat has virgin ears anyway….
BBR: What's a virgin?
Raijin: (chuckles) Quistis is one, ya know.
BBR: So a virgin is someone really mean?
Raijin: Yea, someone really mean to guys… (Bursts out laughing.)
(Quistis whips her whip around Raijin's throat and starts choking him.)
(Gold Saucer Unloading Bay)
(Raijin steps out looking mighty blue in the face, while Quistis is red faced with anger.)
Moomba: Come on, let's go.
(Everyone goes up to the ticket counter.)
Generic Ticket Guy: 3,000 gil for a one day pass for all of you or 30,000 for a lifetime pass…
Selphie: I'm not even sure if we have enough money for the 1-day pass….
(Raijin steps forward)
Raijin: I want a lifetime pass, ya know…
Generic Ticket Guy: OK, here you go. (Gives them a golden peace of paper.) Go ahead inside.
(Group enters.)
Selphie: Where did you get the money, I thought you were broke?
Raijin: (Grins.) I have this great guardian that I borrowed from Selphie, Diablo, so you don't expect me to just let the mug ability just sit around, ya know.
Quistis: Humph… common thief…
BBR: Video games, video games, I wanna play video games…
Selphie: Yea me too, I'll take him.
Moomba: OK, we'll come and get you later….
Selphie: Wait… (Comes up to Raijin and gives him a hug.) Thanks for getting us in here… (Steps back.)
Raijin: Your welcome, ya know… (Smiles happily.)
Selphie: (Gets a mischievous look on her face.) You just got to see who taught that GF how to mug. Thanks for the money… (Holds open her hand and shows all the money she stole from him. Then she pushes BBR into the Wonder Square tube and then quickly leaves herself.)
(Raijin's jaw hangs down in surprise.)
Moomba: I'm gonna go makes some bets at the racetrack (Quickly takes some money from Raijin too and leaves.)
Raijin: (Looks at Quistis.) Well, are you going to steal some money from me too?
Quistis: Nah…, not yet anyway.
Raijin: So where do you wanna go, ya know?
Quistis: Well, this sign up here says that plays and opera are done at the place called Event, so lets go there.
Raijin: Boring, ya know.
Quistis: You are too coming you uncultured savage.
(Quistis drags Raijin by the ear to the Event tube and go in.)
(Event Square) * someone correct me or tell me if it right on what it really is called.
(They walk in and sit down on a bench just as the curtain goes up. A sign says "The Comet" by Mrs. Keen's third grade class. A little girl dressed up in a long brown wig and an oversized pink dress comes out holding a marble then starts kneeling and praying.)
Brown hair girl: I pray that the evil comet doesn't come down on "The planet" and go boom.
Raijin: (whispering to Quistis.) How pathetic, ya know….
Quistis: (whispering back.) Shut up, it's cute.
(Little boy in a big white wig and a big sword appears and stabs the little brown hair girl.)
Brown hair girl: ow! MRS. KEEN!!! Billy actually stabbed me!!!!
Mrs. Keen: Billy! Detention after school.
Raijin: Hee hee, get her Billy, ya know.
(Quistis kicks him.)
(Brown hair girl falls down "dead".)
White hair boy: Ha ha ha, no one will be able to beat me and Jenova the monster with her out of the way and now the comet will come and destroy everything!
(A group of kids including a little boy with spiky hair and big ass sword, little girl in tank top with gloves, a black kid with gun on his arm, a boy dressed up as a red dog/cat animal, a girl dressed as a ninja and holding some shurikens, a boy with a gun and a cloak, a girl in a big fat white cat with a littler cat on top of it, and a boy dressed as a grandpa with a spear.)
Spiky haired boy: Not if we can help it…
White hair boy: Come out Jenova and help me beat them.
(A big ball with tentacles appears. The kids starting fighting the white haired boy and the Jenova monster. Then the kids stop fighting and the white hair boy and the monster fall down "dead".)
Spiky haired boy: Now we have won and the evil comet won't crush the earth.
(Sign pops down saying "The End".)
Quistis: (Stands up.) Bravo, bravo, good play.
Raijin: I'm confused…but the best part was where the boy stabbed the girl, ya know.
Quistis: Ugh, what a dumb ass.
Girl: (From behind them.) Personally, I wish they had given me a speaking part.
(Quistis and Raijin turn around to see a more grown up version of the ninja girl on the play.)
The childish short brown haired ninja lady with a big ass shuriken, Yuffie: Hi, I'm Yuffie, so you didn't like the play?
Quistis: Oh hi, I'm Quistis, I liked it but my friend, Raijin, on the other hand…
Raijin: I didn't like it that much, cause I didn't quite get what was going on, ya know.
Yuffie: Oh well, they'll eventually get a better script of it.
Quistis: So that was you that little girl was playing?
Yuffie: Yea, they did OK basic costumes but she went for the wrong kind of ninja with that whole all dressed up in black look, I have the natural look and don't need black.
Raijin: Yea, that you fell out of the bed and got dressed, ya know?
(Quistis and Yuffie both smack him at the same time.)
Quistis: That wasn't based on a true story, was it?
Yuffie: What do you mean? Of course it was real life. You mean to tell me that you haven't heard the story yet?
Quistis: Uh, no…
Yuffie: If you want I could give you a lift on my gold chocobo to a friend of mine's place, he can give a good version of it.
Raijin: A gold chocobo, ya know?
Quistis: I dunno, I'd have to run it by with my friends. You see, we are kinda lost and we are trying to find our way home.
Yuffie: Where is it?
Quistis: We are trying to find a town called Balamb. We will have to return a kid we got stuck baby-sitting there.
Yuffie: Never heard of Balamb.
Quistis: How about Esthar?
Yuffie: Nope.
Quistis: Timber?
Yuffie: Nein.
Quistis: Know where any of the SeeD gardens are?
Yuffie: SeeDs? Gardens? Last garden I saw was the Aeris Garden in Midgar.
Quistis: We were all over "the planet" too, when that sorceress thing came up.
Yuffie: Sorceress? I'm beginning to get the idea that you're not from around here.
Raijin: (Sarcastic.) My, what ever gave you that idea, ya know.
Quistis: Come on, I'll introduce you to my friends but first we got to find them.
(Chocobo Racing)
Moomba: YEA!!! GO BLACK CHOCOBO!!!!
Quistis: That's Moomba over there. He's the short, red furball.
Yuffie: OMG! He looks like my friend in Cosmo Canyon.
Raijin: Hey Moomba, come on, time to go. (Grabs Moomba's tail and starts dragging him.)
(Moomba pulls his tail out of Raijin's hand.)
Moomba: Hold on a sec I betted on this race.
(Black Chocobo runs across the finish line first.)
Moomba: Yippee!!! I won! (Starts doing a victory dance.)
Yuffie: Go see what item you won.
(Moomba goes up to the prize counter and receives a purple marble.)
Moomba: What in the hell is this?
Yuffie: OH!! It's an enemy away materia! Please! Gimmee! Gimmee! Gimmee!
Moomba: What's a materia?
Yuffie: (Has a shocked look on face.) You seriously don't know what a materia is?
Moomba: Uhhhhhh…. No.
(Everyone gathered up, back on the airship.)
Yuffie: Woah, I thought we were the only ones with an airship.
Quistis: Hey everyone, this is Yuffie. We met her at the gold saucer. We tried to find directions back to somewhere we know from her but she hasn't heard of Timber and doesn't know what SeeDs or Gardens are.
Rinoa: That is sure peculiar.
Zell: I just got the computer back online, it should tell us where we are now.
Computer: Current location is North Corel Area.
(Yuffie looks astonished.)
Yuffie: Wish we had our airship as technological as yours.
BBR: We already know that, we need to know where our Balamb Garden is.
Zell: Where is Balamb Garden currently.
Computer: Balamb Garden is not here, it is currently 50,000 years in the future.
All: O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: WHAT!!!!!
Irvine: Zell, I think you messed up somewhere really bad.
Zell: Computer, how did you come to that conclusion?
Computer: Didn't you read the handbook? This ship and myself were orginally made for air, space, time and dimensional travel travel.
Squall: Wow, we found out about the space and air travel but I never knew about that time and dimensional travel stuff.
Computer: Well, how did you think the ship stayed in your time when Ultemecia had messed with time so you couldn't go into any towns and had to go fight at her castle.
Squall: Ummm, no clue, it was there so I just took advantage of it….
Computer: (grumbling) Yea, you hero types always take advantage of us machines that make things so damn convenient for you.
Zell: We are getting off the subject here.
Rinoa: So, how do we get back to our own time?
Computer: The same way you got here but there's one little glitch, you will have to go through different times and different dimensions before you can get back to your own time and dimension. Also you have to spend a time span of at least 7-day period in each time/dimension before you travel onto the next place.
Raijin: Say what, ya know?
Quistis: It means we are going to have to go to each new place for a week and eventually we will get home.
Irvine: Shit, and how long have we been here in the place?
Computer: Exactly 1 day, 12 hours, 12 minutes, and 54 seconds.
BBR: So what are we supposed to be doing 'til it's time to go to the next place?
Zell: Let's get some hot dogs, it's lunchtime and I'm hungry.
Selphie: HOW CAN YOU BE HUNGRY AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
Zell: Uh, well let's see, my stomach growls and kinda crunches up signaling that I'm hungry.
Fujin: IDIOT!
Yuffie: You guys could come and crash with me and my friends for a while, I'm sure they would let you. And if worst came to worst we could go and stay at my dad's house in Wutai.
Moomba: Yea, lets do it.
(Everyone is outside and a little groggy. Even Selphie and BBR, who are usually so perky, are looking like the living dead.)
Irvine: Hey everyone, let's go to Starbucks and get some coffee.
(Everyone lets out grumbles and groans that can only mean yes. So everyone starts shambling around town looking for a Starbucks.)
(And suddenly…)
Generic Woman, Macy: EEK! ZOMBIES!!
(Woman pulls out a can of Zombie-B-Gone and starts sprays it on the FF8 group. Group suddenly has all HP healed.)
Generic Woman, Macy: Oh wait, you not zombies…
Squall: What was that?
Generic Woman, Macy: Oh, basically a revive spell in a can.
Rinoa: Didn't know you could do that.
BBR: Need coffee…
Rinoa: Um, miss, do you know where a Starbucks is?
Generic Woman, Macy: Starbucks? What's that?
Raijin: It's a place to get coffee, ya know.
Generic Woman, Macy: OH, you mean Cometbuck's. Just go down the street 'til you see the Bubba's weapon shop and then turn left, you can't miss it.
Fujin: COMETBUCK'S…
Squall: Whatever… Let's go.
(Cometbuck's)
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Hi, can I take your order?
Squall: We'll have an irish cream, 2 lattes, 2 mocha's, a black, an orange juice, 2 hot chocolates, and a diet soda….
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: OK, and will there be anything else?
Zell: (Yells from both.) Hey Squall, get 2 dozen donuts.
Squall…whatever. I need 2 dozen donuts.
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: OK, what kinds?
Squall: Surprise us….
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Do you want sprinkles?
Squall: Don't care…
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Do you want nuts?
Squall: No.
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want me to get your lunch while I'm at it?
Squall: No!
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want an oil transfer on your vehicle?
Squall: NO!
Pimply Generic Guy, Walter: Want your order?
Squall: NO!….wait-a-minute…..
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: (Does Nelson from the Simpsons laugh.) Ha Ha!
Squall: (Grabs Walter's shirt and lifts him up.) LOOK!, get us our frickin' order before I chop you in half with this big ass sword of mine.
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: OK, OK, OK….. (Walks away for a second and returns with order.) Here you go.
(Squall takes the order.)
Generic Pimply Guy, Walter: Would you like anything else?
(Squall looks at him evilly and just walks back to his table.)
Squall: OK, here's your stuff. (Sits order on table and takes his latte.)
(Everyone takes their drinks. Moomba and BBR start grabbing donuts and gobbling them down.)
Selphie: (Watches Moomba and BBR.) Man, someone can lose an arm in there.
Zell: Hmmmmm…. Let's try something…
(Zell nonchalantly grabs Raijin's wooden staff and sticks an end into the area above the donuts. In a second the end of the staff is turned into sawdust by 2 gnawing mouths.)
Raijin: O.O MY STAFF!!!!
Quistis: Man….
Rinoa: I didn't know we had beavers here.
(BBR burps and starts drinking while Moomba stops eating and takes a catnap.)
Raijin: (Has a tear in his eye.) But what about my staff???
Zell: Don't worry, I'll repair it.
Rinoa: Let's go to the Ragnorak and see if we can find where in the hell we are.
BBR: I thought we did know where we were? We are in North Corel.
Rinoa: (Hits her forehead with disgust.) Duh, we know that this is North Corel but none of us have ever seen or heard of North Corel in our lives.
BBR: Oh.
(Inside Ragnorak)
Zell: Quistis come here and let's see if we can find out where we are….
Squall: Come one Rinoa, lets go see if there's any cleaning up we can do in the back…
Rinoa: I don't want to clean!!!!!!!!
Squall: (Makes a naughty smile and hints they should go in the back room.) Just come on…
Rinoa: Oh, OK!
(Squall and Rinoa go into the back room and accidentally leave the door open a crack. Squall and Rinoa can be seen and heard kissing.)
Moomba: (Goes and pounds on the door.) You two, go get a room!
Squall: OK…
(Squall and Rinoa go upstairs to the room.)
Moomba: Oy!
Quistis: Anyway, let's check the map and computer data banks to see where we are.
Zell: Hold on a sec, I'm setting the computer's audio and receptors up so that we can just ask the computer what we want to know and it will say it.
Selphie: OK wiz kid.
(Zell gives her an annoyed look and continues working.)
BBR: I'm bored…
Selphie: How can you be bored? This is more excitement than most generic people get in a lifetime!
BBR: I want to go to that amusement park that everyone in town kept talking about… what was it called? I think it was something like Bronze Teacup… no, that's not it, maybe Yellow Crumpet….
Fujin: GOLD SAUCER!!!!
BBR: How do you know, you dumb broad?
Fujin: (Rolls her eyes.) SIGN!!! (Points out window at giant billboard that says, "Come see Gold Saucer!" and below has directions saying that to get to Gold Saucer just enter North Corel and go to ropeway and ride up to it.)
BBR: (Feeling kind of dumb and tries to hide it by saying….) Anyway, let's go.
Quistis: No! We have to get this ship fixed and ready to go….
Raijin: Awww, come on… don't be so mean, let's go and check the place out, ya know?
Zell: Go ahead, its gonna be a while but I need Irvine and Fujin to help… (Loud noise from Squall and Rinoa's current location sounds through the ship.) I'm pretty sure, though, that Squall and Rinoa are a little busy and won't want to come right now.
Quistis: Ugh, why do I have a feeling that I'm being dragged into one of those moments where if you don't go somewhere or do something you will not be able to leave or move on?
Moomba: Oh stop pouting, let's go.
(Ropeway Boarding Station)
Quistis: Look at that rickety thing, I'm not going on…
Selphie: Oh, come on scaredy-cat! (Selphie grabs Quistis's hand and drags her onto the ropeway.)
(Door is shut and the ropeway cart takes them slowly up to Gold Saucer.)
BBR: This looks fun….
Quistis: (Is shuddering and turning green in a corner.) I hate this… I hate this… I hate this… (Keeps on repeating.)
Raijin: Just enjoy the ride and think happy thoughts, ya know.
Quistis: Hmmm…. Well let's see…. Getting off this damn deathtrap of a cart would be nice….
Selphie: Hey, don't cuss in front of the kid.
Quistis: (Sarcastically) Like the lil' brat has virgin ears anyway….
BBR: What's a virgin?
Raijin: (chuckles) Quistis is one, ya know.
BBR: So a virgin is someone really mean?
Raijin: Yea, someone really mean to guys… (Bursts out laughing.)
(Quistis whips her whip around Raijin's throat and starts choking him.)
(Gold Saucer Unloading Bay)
(Raijin steps out looking mighty blue in the face, while Quistis is red faced with anger.)
Moomba: Come on, let's go.
(Everyone goes up to the ticket counter.)
Generic Ticket Guy: 3,000 gil for a one day pass for all of you or 30,000 for a lifetime pass…
Selphie: I'm not even sure if we have enough money for the 1-day pass….
(Raijin steps forward)
Raijin: I want a lifetime pass, ya know…
Generic Ticket Guy: OK, here you go. (Gives them a golden peace of paper.) Go ahead inside.
(Group enters.)
Selphie: Where did you get the money, I thought you were broke?
Raijin: (Grins.) I have this great guardian that I borrowed from Selphie, Diablo, so you don't expect me to just let the mug ability just sit around, ya know.
Quistis: Humph… common thief…
BBR: Video games, video games, I wanna play video games…
Selphie: Yea me too, I'll take him.
Moomba: OK, we'll come and get you later….
Selphie: Wait… (Comes up to Raijin and gives him a hug.) Thanks for getting us in here… (Steps back.)
Raijin: Your welcome, ya know… (Smiles happily.)
Selphie: (Gets a mischievous look on her face.) You just got to see who taught that GF how to mug. Thanks for the money… (Holds open her hand and shows all the money she stole from him. Then she pushes BBR into the Wonder Square tube and then quickly leaves herself.)
(Raijin's jaw hangs down in surprise.)
Moomba: I'm gonna go makes some bets at the racetrack (Quickly takes some money from Raijin too and leaves.)
Raijin: (Looks at Quistis.) Well, are you going to steal some money from me too?
Quistis: Nah…, not yet anyway.
Raijin: So where do you wanna go, ya know?
Quistis: Well, this sign up here says that plays and opera are done at the place called Event, so lets go there.
Raijin: Boring, ya know.
Quistis: You are too coming you uncultured savage.
(Quistis drags Raijin by the ear to the Event tube and go in.)
(Event Square) * someone correct me or tell me if it right on what it really is called.
(They walk in and sit down on a bench just as the curtain goes up. A sign says "The Comet" by Mrs. Keen's third grade class. A little girl dressed up in a long brown wig and an oversized pink dress comes out holding a marble then starts kneeling and praying.)
Brown hair girl: I pray that the evil comet doesn't come down on "The planet" and go boom.
Raijin: (whispering to Quistis.) How pathetic, ya know….
Quistis: (whispering back.) Shut up, it's cute.
(Little boy in a big white wig and a big sword appears and stabs the little brown hair girl.)
Brown hair girl: ow! MRS. KEEN!!! Billy actually stabbed me!!!!
Mrs. Keen: Billy! Detention after school.
Raijin: Hee hee, get her Billy, ya know.
(Quistis kicks him.)
(Brown hair girl falls down "dead".)
White hair boy: Ha ha ha, no one will be able to beat me and Jenova the monster with her out of the way and now the comet will come and destroy everything!
(A group of kids including a little boy with spiky hair and big ass sword, little girl in tank top with gloves, a black kid with gun on his arm, a boy dressed up as a red dog/cat animal, a girl dressed as a ninja and holding some shurikens, a boy with a gun and a cloak, a girl in a big fat white cat with a littler cat on top of it, and a boy dressed as a grandpa with a spear.)
Spiky haired boy: Not if we can help it…
White hair boy: Come out Jenova and help me beat them.
(A big ball with tentacles appears. The kids starting fighting the white haired boy and the Jenova monster. Then the kids stop fighting and the white hair boy and the monster fall down "dead".)
Spiky haired boy: Now we have won and the evil comet won't crush the earth.
(Sign pops down saying "The End".)
Quistis: (Stands up.) Bravo, bravo, good play.
Raijin: I'm confused…but the best part was where the boy stabbed the girl, ya know.
Quistis: Ugh, what a dumb ass.
Girl: (From behind them.) Personally, I wish they had given me a speaking part.
(Quistis and Raijin turn around to see a more grown up version of the ninja girl on the play.)
The childish short brown haired ninja lady with a big ass shuriken, Yuffie: Hi, I'm Yuffie, so you didn't like the play?
Quistis: Oh hi, I'm Quistis, I liked it but my friend, Raijin, on the other hand…
Raijin: I didn't like it that much, cause I didn't quite get what was going on, ya know.
Yuffie: Oh well, they'll eventually get a better script of it.
Quistis: So that was you that little girl was playing?
Yuffie: Yea, they did OK basic costumes but she went for the wrong kind of ninja with that whole all dressed up in black look, I have the natural look and don't need black.
Raijin: Yea, that you fell out of the bed and got dressed, ya know?
(Quistis and Yuffie both smack him at the same time.)
Quistis: That wasn't based on a true story, was it?
Yuffie: What do you mean? Of course it was real life. You mean to tell me that you haven't heard the story yet?
Quistis: Uh, no…
Yuffie: If you want I could give you a lift on my gold chocobo to a friend of mine's place, he can give a good version of it.
Raijin: A gold chocobo, ya know?
Quistis: I dunno, I'd have to run it by with my friends. You see, we are kinda lost and we are trying to find our way home.
Yuffie: Where is it?
Quistis: We are trying to find a town called Balamb. We will have to return a kid we got stuck baby-sitting there.
Yuffie: Never heard of Balamb.
Quistis: How about Esthar?
Yuffie: Nope.
Quistis: Timber?
Yuffie: Nein.
Quistis: Know where any of the SeeD gardens are?
Yuffie: SeeDs? Gardens? Last garden I saw was the Aeris Garden in Midgar.
Quistis: We were all over "the planet" too, when that sorceress thing came up.
Yuffie: Sorceress? I'm beginning to get the idea that you're not from around here.
Raijin: (Sarcastic.) My, what ever gave you that idea, ya know.
Quistis: Come on, I'll introduce you to my friends but first we got to find them.
(Chocobo Racing)
Moomba: YEA!!! GO BLACK CHOCOBO!!!!
Quistis: That's Moomba over there. He's the short, red furball.
Yuffie: OMG! He looks like my friend in Cosmo Canyon.
Raijin: Hey Moomba, come on, time to go. (Grabs Moomba's tail and starts dragging him.)
(Moomba pulls his tail out of Raijin's hand.)
Moomba: Hold on a sec I betted on this race.
(Black Chocobo runs across the finish line first.)
Moomba: Yippee!!! I won! (Starts doing a victory dance.)
Yuffie: Go see what item you won.
(Moomba goes up to the prize counter and receives a purple marble.)
Moomba: What in the hell is this?
Yuffie: OH!! It's an enemy away materia! Please! Gimmee! Gimmee! Gimmee!
Moomba: What's a materia?
Yuffie: (Has a shocked look on face.) You seriously don't know what a materia is?
Moomba: Uhhhhhh…. No.
(Everyone gathered up, back on the airship.)
Yuffie: Woah, I thought we were the only ones with an airship.
Quistis: Hey everyone, this is Yuffie. We met her at the gold saucer. We tried to find directions back to somewhere we know from her but she hasn't heard of Timber and doesn't know what SeeDs or Gardens are.
Rinoa: That is sure peculiar.
Zell: I just got the computer back online, it should tell us where we are now.
Computer: Current location is North Corel Area.
(Yuffie looks astonished.)
Yuffie: Wish we had our airship as technological as yours.
BBR: We already know that, we need to know where our Balamb Garden is.
Zell: Where is Balamb Garden currently.
Computer: Balamb Garden is not here, it is currently 50,000 years in the future.
All: O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: WHAT!!!!!
Irvine: Zell, I think you messed up somewhere really bad.
Zell: Computer, how did you come to that conclusion?
Computer: Didn't you read the handbook? This ship and myself were orginally made for air, space, time and dimensional travel travel.
Squall: Wow, we found out about the space and air travel but I never knew about that time and dimensional travel stuff.
Computer: Well, how did you think the ship stayed in your time when Ultemecia had messed with time so you couldn't go into any towns and had to go fight at her castle.
Squall: Ummm, no clue, it was there so I just took advantage of it….
Computer: (grumbling) Yea, you hero types always take advantage of us machines that make things so damn convenient for you.
Zell: We are getting off the subject here.
Rinoa: So, how do we get back to our own time?
Computer: The same way you got here but there's one little glitch, you will have to go through different times and different dimensions before you can get back to your own time and dimension. Also you have to spend a time span of at least 7-day period in each time/dimension before you travel onto the next place.
Raijin: Say what, ya know?
Quistis: It means we are going to have to go to each new place for a week and eventually we will get home.
Irvine: Shit, and how long have we been here in the place?
Computer: Exactly 1 day, 12 hours, 12 minutes, and 54 seconds.
BBR: So what are we supposed to be doing 'til it's time to go to the next place?
Zell: Let's get some hot dogs, it's lunchtime and I'm hungry.
Selphie: HOW CAN YOU BE HUNGRY AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
Zell: Uh, well let's see, my stomach growls and kinda crunches up signaling that I'm hungry.
Fujin: IDIOT!
Yuffie: You guys could come and crash with me and my friends for a while, I'm sure they would let you. And if worst came to worst we could go and stay at my dad's house in Wutai.
Moomba: Yea, lets do it.