Chapter 6: Meet the Locals (Flying in airship) Yuffie: Let's head to Red's house first, I'm sure he'd be happy to meet you guys. (Cosmo Canyon) Rinoa: This place is fabulous and the sunset is exquisite. Moomba: When did you get all sophisticated and snobby, oh wait, you already were. (Rinoa casts Flare on Moomba) (Moomba runs around screaming with looking charred and his tail on fire.) Yuffie: YO RED! GET YOUR FURRY BUTT OUT HERE! Generic Tree Hugger: You should not talk about our leader that way. You need to calm down and get in tune with the earth. Yuffie: Sure, for some materia, I will. Generic Tree Hugger: You know that the only materia we get is the natural materia made by nature and those are hard to come by. Good thing that that awful materia-making company, Shinra, was closed. Yuffie: Bah, those take forever to get and most of the time they aren't even that good of materia. Red XIII: (From behind group) Still trying to get materia, I see. (Group turns around.) Irvine: (Looks straight over Red) Well, where is he. Red XIII: Yo, down here reject. Irvine: Who you callin' a reject you mutated mutt. Red XIII: Ooooh, snappy comeback. Yuffie: Break it up you too. Red XIII: Let's go, I was gettin' tired of meditating and being one with the earth and all that crud. Moomba Mage: Let's just shorten Red XIII name to Red `cause that XIII thing is getting annoying to type all the time. Red: Lazy ass.... Moomba Mage: Hey! I'm already going to have BBR get killed off because of his outburst, do you want to end up the same way? BBR: WHAT!?!? Moomba Mage: Just kidding.... (Suddenly a litter of little Red XIII's and a female Red XIII with curlers in her hair appear.) Red Sonja: (Glaring at Red) So you think you can just run off with your little Avalanche friends and just leave me here with the kids????? Red Jack: Come on, daddy, bring me. Red Monica: Me too! Red Fred: And me! Red Clarisha: Yea, I want to go see Aunt Tifa. Mommy, can I be a bartender just like Aunt Tifa? Red Sonja: See what kind of influence they have on our kids. I should kick your ass. While your out pick up some more kitty litter and some eggs.

Red: OK, honey.... (Droops head.) (Whole group starts heading to airship.) Raijin: Damn, you got told, you shouldn't be lettin' the female part of the race wear the pants, ya know. Fujin: WHAT! (Fujin does a matrix style kick in the air to Raijin's head. Raijin goes flying and lands in front of the airship in the distance.) (In Airship.) Yuffie: We Probably should pick up Vincent first seeing how he's closest, so let's head to Nibelheim. And be prepared, there is a bunch of monsters in his house for some reasons. And if he offers some tarts, just eat them and say they are good, or else... (Grassy little area between airship and Nibelheim.) Yuffie: Come on, this way... (Battle mode) (Rinoa, Selphie, and Yuffie fighting 3 Nibelheim Wolves.) (Rinoa starts doing her make-up.) Yuffie: Is she always like this? Selphie: Yep. (Yuffie starts off by casting Stop on all 3 of the wolves and all 3 wolves get stopped.) Yuffie: It's over before it began. Selphie: Cheap, they didn't even get to put up a fight. (Wolves become unfrozen. They each go up and bite Selphie.) Selphie: Ewwww, dog slobber... (Attcks and causes a bunch of status effects and kills of the wolf at the same time.) Yuffie: (sarcastic tone) Oooooh and that wasn't cheap too. (Dog runs up and starts humping Rinoa's leg.) Rinoa: AHHHHH!!!! ANGELOOOOO!!! Kill this flea-ridden mongrel!!! (Angelo appears and does his Angelo Strike move and kills the Nibelheim Wolf off. Last wolf just stands their looking at Angelo. Angelo goes up to the wolf and starts sniffing it. They then soon start licking each other.) Selphie: Awwww... they like each other. Rinoa: I guess we could bring it along for a while. Who knows, maybe it'll make good breeding stock. (Battle ends) (Shows the wolf to the rest of the crew.) Irvine: Damn, just how many people and animals are going to be joining us? Squall: Yea and if those two mate we are gonna have a whole litter of wolf.... wolf.... uhhh, Rinoa? Exactly what breed is your dog anyway? Rinoa: Uhhhh.... it's a pure breed mutt. Squall: Ohhhh.... wait a sec.... if it can't be a mutt and a pure breed at the same time... Rinoa: Oh look, we're here... (Nibelheim town) Yuffie: Yea, this is our leader's hometown. When I came here there were a bunch of actors posing as the townspeople cause this bad guy named Sephiroth came here and slaughtered almost all the origunal inhabitants of this town. The two people who survived are on my team, Cloud the leader and Tifa the bartending whore. Red: Yea, Yuffie is pissed cause Cloud had the hots for Tifa and Aeris, who was killed by Sephiroth, and not her. (Yuffie grabs Red's tail and flings him far into the distance in front of Vincent's house.) Zell: Good thing his kids are in the airship playing video games with BBR and Moomba. (Vincent's House.) Fujin: DUMP!!! Raijin: This place is pretty messed up, ya know. Red: (Lookin pretty beat up.) Let's just get Vincent and get the hell outta here, I'm not in the mood to fight many monsters right now. Irvine: Specially since Yuffie just whooped you ass. (Red's tail knocks out Irvine's feet out from under him and Irvine falls flat on his face.) Red: ::laughs:: moron... Irvine: Why you stupid, lil' critter, get over here so I can tan your hide. Quistis: You know Irvine is pissed when he gets into the the deep red neck cowboy dialect. Red: Just try it, ya hick. Selphie: Ok, break it up you two. Yuffie: Yea, come on, the basement is this way. (Basement) Red: Just in this room is where Vincent sleeps. Raijin: It's in the middle of the day, ya know. Why is he asleep, ya know? Yuffie: He really likes to sleep. Rinoa: Ewww, look who dirty and dusty this place is. Squall: Where's the bed? All's I see is a bookcase, some boxes, and a coffin. Yuffie: (Knocks on the coffin.) Hey Vincey, time to rise and shine, you got visitors. (Vincent's coffin opens and he does the scary going from laying down straight to standing up bit.) Fujin: VAMPIRE!!! The Black haired, brown eyed, vampire dude, Vincent: I'm not a vampire... (looks around) and who are you people? Yuffie? Red? Why have you disturbed my sleep? Red: Don't get all burnt up, you have been in there for over a month. Besides we're rounding up everyone to meet these guys. Vincent: Fine, I guess i'll join you for a while. Zell: (Looks at the pink teddy bear in vincent's coffin.) Bwahahahahahahahahahaha... mister pale-and-scary has... has... has... a teddy bear to sleep with??? (Falls down laughing.) (Vincent eyes start glowing and he turns into a big red demon. Zell notices this and gulps. Then quickly runs out of the basement. Vincent turns back to normal.) Yuffie: Yea, let's get going to before someone insults him on his cooking. (Battle Mode) (Red, Vincent, and Squall Versus Yin/Yang) Yin/Yang: Boogah Boogah. Squall: (sarcastic) Oh how scary, i think i'll go run and hide! (runs up and slashes and fires gun and yin/yang.) Vincent: Nice gun... uh, sword... whatever... Squall: Hey, it's a gunblade and don't steal my catch phrase. Yin: You suck... Fire! (casts fire on Squall) Yang: Yea, you bite... Ice! (Ice ball falls on Squall's head.) Red: I'm under the impression that they don't like you Squall. Must be because you didn't get scared when they attempted to frighten us. Squall: ....whatever. (Vincent shoots at Yin and Red head butts yang.) Yin/Yang: You all suck grandma titties... (Yin/Yang runs up and pummels Vincent.) Vincent: Ok, i'm pissed... (transforms into Chaos.) Red: Aw crap, we wont be able to control him until the battle ends. At least the battle will be over soon now. (Vincent does a move so that a giant skull appears below Yin/Yang and kills it.) Yin/Yang: You suck baaaaalllllllssssss............ (dies) (Battle ends) Yuffie: Ok, enough sight seeing let's go get Cid.