ukyoukwnji@aol.com
"Standing In The Way" (a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction)
Ranma 1/2 and all the characters therein are copyright Rumiko Takahashi
and are being used without permission.
Chapter VI - Greater manhood hath no love than this..
Every part of Ukyou's body hurt as she and Nodoka trudged back to
the Nerima district and the Tendo dojo from the downtown police
precinct office. Her feet burned from miles of running, as she had
tried to keep up with Nodoka as she chased her husband from rooftop
to rooftop. Her eyes and ears had been seared with the sight and
sound of Genma as he had fallen from the roof of a skyscraper. Her
lungs ached from tearing up thirty-plus flights of stairs to pull
Nodoka from the scene. And her stomach was in knots after an hour
or so of giving statements to the police, compounded by the fact that
even now, once they returned to the dojo, any efforts she had expended
to save Ranma had been wasted, and he might still be required to
perform seppuku. And she had tried so hard, too! It was all she
could do not to break down then and there.
For her part, Nodoka continued walking rapidly toward the dojo,
eyes fixed straight ahead, face expressionless. What is she,
thought Ukyou, made of stone? Or steel? She glanced momentarily
at her fiancé's mother, her own eyes brimming as she started to feel
the full weight of her own failure coming down upon her. There was
no expression on the woman's face.
But just as she turned her gaze away from Nodoka, Ukyou caught a
glimpse of a small sparkle at the corner of the older woman's eye.
Could it be..?
Yes. A tear trickled out of the corner of Nodoka's eye.
"Mrs. Saotome...?" Ranma's mother stopped short. Slowly, she
turned to look into Ukyou's eyes. The despair the girl could see
in them was terrifying.
Nodoka dropped to her knees, and took Ukyou's hand in hers.
"Please, Ukyou.. could you call me.. 'mother'?
Her request was so unexpected, and made in such a plaintive
voice, that Ukyou forgot to be exultant at what could otherwise be
interpreted as acknowledgment of her supremacy in the ranking of
Ranma's fiancees. "C-call you.. muh.. muh-mother?" Once again,
Nodoka winced at the title, or at least appeared to. Her eyes
squeezed tightly, and her lips pinched together in a half-frown,
half-grimace.
Then the dam broke.
"Oh, Ukyou.. No one will ever call me that again!" Now it was
Ukyou's turn to feel awkward embracing someone. Mrs. Saotome was
crying inconsolably on her shoulder - what to do? To say? Then she
realized what she had been asked to call Mrs. Saotome. She smiled,
faintly at first, then broadly, before standing up. She offered her
hand to Mrs. Saotome.
"Don't cry so.. m-Mother.." As much of a triumph as it was, it was
still sinking into Ukyou's mind that she had been *asked* to call her
that. She couldn't get over that! But, she couldn't quite believe
it yet, either. "You still have Ran-chan. He still wants to love
you, and for you to be proud of him. I'm sure I can prove him to be
a man among men yet. I'll bet he's still back at the dojo, waiting
for us.."
Nodoka lifted her head, and reached for Ukyou's hand, "I hope
you're right, Ukyou. I've lost one man already today. I really
don't want to have to go through this again.." They continued on
to the dojo, Ukyou's arm around Nodoka's waist as if to support
her. Nodoka put up no fight. As they walked, Ukyou offered up
a thousand silent prayers for Ranma.
In the courtyard of the Tendo dojo, the situation outside was
reversed. Another one of Ranma's fiancees was crying on the shoulder
of an older woman. Cologne's eyes darted about in bewildered
embarrassment as she continued to hold onto her sobbing granddaughter.
"Please, Shampoo! It is not a sign of strength to cry. Particularly
when there is no reason for you to do so." The younger Amazon
pushed her away to look at her at arm's length. Her eyes were red
and swollen.
"No reason? What you talking, Great-grandmother? Ranma not here.
He run away. He mother right; he no strong man."
"Shampoo." Cologne's voice was firm and steady. "He is certainly
strong enough. And as for his mother, well, she doesn't need to know
what happened to him. Let her think he's run away. We'll find him
first, and take him away from here.
"But as he isn't here, we must begin our search for him right away!"
Shampoo nodded, and followed the old Amazon as she hopped toward
the gate.
Which opened just as they arrived at it - to reveal a rather
surprised Ukyou and Nodoka.
"Shampoo! Cologne! What're you two doing here?!"
"We come rescue hus--" Shampoo received a rap on the head from
her great-grandmother's staff. Gently, not hard enough to knock her
out, but hard enough to remind her that some things were better left
unsaid.
Ukyou winced. Not at the blow Shampoo had sustained, but at her
words. Children and fools...
"Okay, Cologne. You're not paying a social call, that's for sure.
'Fess up. What's the deal?"
The old crone merely smiled mysteriously. "You can't do anything
to make me talk. You *know* you couldn't beat it out of me. Even
*with* your spatula, girl."
The calmer Cologne's answer, the angrier it made Ukyou. "It's
something to do with Ran-chan, isn't it? Tell me!" She reached out
to grab the old hag by her robe, but Cologne nimbly dodged her rather
clumsy effort, and gave her a gentle knock on the head with her cane
that sent Ukyou sprawling to the ground.
"We have done nothing to Mr. Husband. Yet."
Ukyou propped herself up, and gingerly touched the small lump on
the back of her head. "Yeah, right. Whadja do, hide him somewhere
so that you could grab him later when the heat is off and run back
to your Amazon village?"
"We no hide ai ren! He gone! He not waiting in tent like spatula-
girl say..." Both Cologne and Nodoka turned in shock to look at
Shampoo.
"What?! Ranma ran off?" Mrs. Saotome clutched the handle of her
as yet still sheathed katana. She charged past the two Amazons, and
into the tent.
Cologne gave Shampoo a swipe on the head. "Why did you *tell*
them?" she hissed into her ear. "You should have let them find out
for themselves - AFTER we left."
"They not let us go, great-grandmother," Shampoo whispered back.
"This way, crazy woman not watch us - we go." Cologne shrugged,
and they once again headed for the exit.
Which was Ukyou's cue to stand up.
"I don't think so, kids. You're not going until we get some answers.
I'm gonna keep you here if it kills me."
Cologne's voice started to ooze menace. "And it may just do that,
little girl.." She assumed a fighting stance, confident that, without
her main weapon, her opponent was virtually helpless. She decided
to toy with her first, and then, since she *was* unarmed, knock her
out with a simple pressure point. It wouldn't be necessary or
sporting to just destroy her like this. Just give her the impression
you might. She'll see reason and back down.
But Ukyou had come so close to destroying herself already today,
that any threat Cologne might have thought she posed to the girl was
negligible. Even now, Ukyou feared that Ranma may indeed have run
out after all. Which meant the Nodoka would end up still having to
kill him, and, if so, she would die too. She had nothing to lose
from fighting Cologne to the death.
She charged.
Cologne just sat there, perched on her pole. As Ukyou approached
her, she decided to continue her bluff. She raised a gnarled finger
and pointed toward the girl's forehead.
"Bakusai Tenketsu!"
Ukyou was undeterred. Ryoga had pulled that stunt on her in jest
before. She knew it only worked on rocks and other inanimate objects.
"Nice try, grannie!" She grinned as she sent a right hook to the old
woman's jaw, sending her sailing into the Tendo residence. Ukyou
stormed after her.
As she entered the house, she heard a noise overhead like a
stampede of buffalo. Familiar voices echoed throughout the dojo.
"Perfidious swine! What have you done to her?"
"Look, man, I haven't done nothin' to her, got that? Leave me
alone! And getcher hands OFF her, you pervert!"
Ukyou and Cologne stopped their fight. Their mutual goal had been
acheived: they had found Ranma. Ukyou yelled up at the ceiling,
"Ran-chan, is that you?"
"Ucchan! Yeah! Can you gimme a hand up here? C'mon, Kuno, give
it a rest! Let her be, okay?" A hand? Well, hey. He needs my
help. Cool. She waved her hands at Nodoka, who had just stepped
rather dejectedly out of the tent. "He's here!" she mouthed,
indicating the ceiling, and Nodoka's face brightened considerably.
Meanwhile, the tussle between Ranma and Kuno continued.
"How dare you order your sempai around? Hand her over!"
"Not a chance!"
"It is *you* who stand no chance against the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High!" Lightning crackled outside, as it on cue again,
but indoors, Ranma was safe.
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Now get the hell outta my way!" The sound
of rampaging elephants could be heard once again, and the noise
began to make its way to the stairs.
Kuno and Ranma were charging downstairs from Akane's room,
jockeying for position. Ranma was carrying the still-comatose Akane,
thus preventing Kuno from passing him on the stairs. Once on the
ground floor, Kuno elbowed Ranma aside, almost causing him to drop
her. "Watch it, y'dumb ox!"
With that, Kuno halted, drew himself up, and proceeded to denounce
Ranma, to everybody in general and nobody in particular.
"This foul fiend has been cowering in, of all places, the bedchamber
of my dear Tendo Akane herself! Defiling the very temple of Artemis
with his unholy presence!"
"I just wanted to check on her, that's all! I was worried about
her, okay?" Kuno paid him absolutely no heed.
"..To continue his vile sorcery that even now holds her in
Morpheus' grip! What's more, he -"
"Uh, Kuno, baby.." Now Nabiki decided to enter the fray.
"Ah, Tendo Nabiki. Surely you can see reason." He turned his back
to her, so that he was facing Ranma. He pointed accusingly at Ranma.
"This despicable car has caused my darling Akane - your sister! -
such distress as to render her unconscious to the point of death.
I speak the truth; you know it to be so." As he gesticulated at Ranma
with his right hand, his left hand, which was behind his back, was
displaying several 10,000-yen notes which he had concealed up his
sleeve. As he spoke, he waved the banknotes to attract Nabiki's
attention. "I demand that he release her from this enchantment
immediately, and hand her over to me. I will give her the care she
deserves. Can anyone persuade him to do so?" Nabiki walked up
behind him and slapped him, hard enough to spin him around. He
was now facing her, and the left hand, still holding the cash, was
exposed to plain view.
"That hurt, Nabiki Tendo." he said in his usual aloof manner. He
was so absorbed in reproving Nabiki that he had forgotten about
his bribe.
"LOOK AT ME if you're gonna talk to me!" she yelled, gesticulating
frantically in an effort to get the others' attention. Her father was
the first to catch sight of the wad of bills. He walked over to Kuno
and clamped a hand on his shoulder. At the same time, his other
hand pulled the bills from Kuno's hand, and waved them in front of
his face.
"Young man.. I believe these are yours."
As soft as Mr. Tendo generally was, there were times he could be
hard as granite. This was one of those times. Kuno actually
hesitated before taking his money back. "I.. uh.. thank you, sir.."
"Now then, young man.. WHAT were you trying to accomplish with
this?" Soun's demon head started to fire up.
Even the Blue Thunder can be grounded now and again. Kuno
decided upon the better part of valor and beat a hasty retreat.
Ranma set Akane down as gently as he could onto the porch. "I see
you two are back, ne?" he said, smiling grimly at his mother and
Ukyou. "So... is the ceremony still on? And where's Pop?"
Nodoka and Ukyou looked at each other. Nodoka nodded at Ukyou,
and turned toward her son, steeling herself for the news Ukyou was
about to deliver, the news she already knew.
"I... I'm sorry, Ran-chan. Your mother was chasing after him, and
he fell from a skyscraper... He didn't make it."
There was a great silence. One could actually hear Ranma's eyes
grow large.
"...Otou-san?"
The boy sank to his knees under the weight of the news.
Nabiki reflected that he had never used that word when addressing
or referring to his father before. It was always 'Oyaji:' old man.
Anyone could tell Ranma never had much respect for his old man...
except possibly his old man. Or maybe Genma always just let it pass.
Or maybe Genma actually knew he wasn't worthy of more respect
than that, after all.
Nodoka smiled sadly at her son. "I imagine it is right to show some
grief over him; after all, he was the only parent you knew for so many
years, ne? I am sorry it had to come to this.
"But I am proud of you, my son. Dearest was a poor teacher; I see
that now. You have learned far more than he could ever have taught
you, and I'm not talking merely about techniques. You have learned
the courage to face up to your shortcomings and weaknesses, and to
develop strengths to counter them where you can, and accept the
consequences where you cannot. You have indeed become a man's man
after all. There is no need for any such ceremony."
Her face brightened. "You know, as much as I mourn my dearest, it
somehow seems as if I haven't lost a husband as much as I've re-
gained a son. You *are* my son after all - and you have returned
to me after thirteen long and lonely years. I can see that you no
longer fear me...
"Of course, now that you've been returned.." she smiled wistfully,
"it seems a pity that I have to give you away again so soon."
Ranma had started to relax during his mother's speech, but that
last sentence got his attention: "Uh.. give me away?"
"But of course. The school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts needs
an heir (and, to be honest, I can't *wait* to have grandchildren).
This means, then, that you, Ranma, will have to choose your fiancee.
We can't have you stringing all these girls along, and..." her eyes
twinkled ever so slightly -- he is quite the man, isn't he, to have
so many girls chasing after him all the time, but -- "polygamy is
still against the law." A big sweatdrop appeared on Ranma's
forehead.
"You mean.. right now?"
"Why not? They're all here." Well.. except Kodachi. I don't
think he'd consider her, though..
"I'm sorry, mom. I can't do that."
"What?"
"I said no, Mom. You can't make me choose. Not yet.
"I dunno if you've noticed, mom, but Akane almost died because
she thought she was going to lose me. And you've seen the lengths
to which Ukyou and Shampoo are willing to go to for my sake. No
matter what you do, if you're gonna insist I choose someone _right_
_now_, you're gonna be killing att least one of these girls. That's
not fair! I really do care about all of them, and I don't wish any
of them to come to harm..
"Just don't make me do this, okay? Not until the ones I *don't*
choose are ready to accept it."
A frown spread across Nodoka's face. "You disappoint me, son.."
"I see. So, by not choosing, I have once again failed to be a
man's man in your eyes..." He stood up and walked over to the
tent, and went in. A moment later, he came out, holding the three
daggers that had been left behind in the confusion. He set down
two of them, and holding the other next to his abdomen, knelt
before his mother, facing the house only a yard away. "..are you
ready with that katana, mother?"
No. He was not showing any fear. But Ukyou was right. That
katana... it really was all he could see when he looked at her. His
own mother, nothing but an angel of death.
What else could she do? She unsheathed it, and raised it onto
her shoulder.
"NO!" From behind her, a cry of protest. Shampoo?
The purple-haired girl leaped over her and crumpled at her feet.
"Ranma mother no kill ai ren! Even if he no choose Shampoo, better
than he dead. Please!" From behind Nodoka Cologne scowled at her
great-granddaughter's groveling. This girl is hardly fit for the
Amazon throne. Should she actually inherit it from me, good heavens!
There'll be no Laws left unbroken!
Ukyou knelt beside Ranma and picked up her own dagger. She
reached over and grasped the hand of the still-comatose Akane,
and squeezed tightly.
"You know my offer stands... Mother." Nodoka was back to wincing
at the title -- had she really given this girl permission to call
her that? "Do as you think you must, but realize that if he goes,
we go too."
All eyes were on Nodoka, or rather, on the sword that had become
an extension of herself. Even she turned her head sideways, to
gaze at it.
She set her jaw, and with a mighty cry of anguish and fury, she
swung the katana with all her might. Time slowed to a crawl, as
Shampoo and Ukyou closed their eyes and ducked, while Ranma's
eyes practically started from their sockets as he stayed frozen in
position like a deer caught in the headlights of an onrushing truck...
The impact shook the walls of the Tendo residence, and broke the
katana in two. Nodoka had struck the doorjamb with the flat of the
blade. The pointed end bounced away from the door, and flew,
spinning, into the koi pond. With a final cry, Nodoka thrust the
broken portion into the ground just outside the porch. The soft
earth swallowed the blade to its hilt.
"That accursed thing has brought me enough misery and blood to
last seven lifetimes! And I never *once* actually used it! My
husband ran away from me and died rather than face me because of it.
And he almost took you with him.
"I am not this evil beast who wants to destroy you for every
mistake you make. I am your *mother*, Ranma. Let me *be* that for
you. But if all you see of me is that katana, then.." she stepped
on the hilt that stuck up from the ground, and slowly drove it in
until it was completely buried. "...there. May you see it no more.
"I release you from your promise."
Pandemonium broke loose around mother and son. Shampoo and Ukyou
squealed with delight and relief. They jumped up and down hugging
each other. Nabiki collected the daggers from Ranma, and took them
to the kitchen, where she placed them in the silverware drawer.
Soun, for his part, was waving the customary white fans showing
his approval. Cologne merely sat on her cane, nodding sagely.
"Honor has been satisfied." Still, such a waste of such a fine
sword...
Ranma handed his knife to Nabiki with great relief, but made an
effort to maintain a calm expression. Inwardly, he was grinning
broadly. Okay, Nabiki. Bring on those playing cards! If I can
handle bluffing my mom with these kind of stakes, anything you could
possibly do to me will be penny-ante from now on. This buys me
some time...
"Ungh..."
"Akane-chan!" Ukyou bounded over to her rival's side. Sure enough,
she was beginning to wake. There was a clatter of silverware as even
Nabiki rushed over to the patio.
"Sis...?"
The first face that greeted her, though, was Ranma, who had leaned
in so close as to block anyone else from her line of vision.
"R-Ranma? Wuh.. what happened?"
"Erm... quite a lot, actually..."
"Ah.. am I dead, then?" Ranma couldn't help but smile.
"No, Akane. You're fine, and so am I..."
"Omigosh... you're alive?!" She sat bolt upright. "You're alive!
Oh, Ranma!" And she crushed him with a great bear hug.
So this is how she really feels about me? Wish she'd said so
long ago...
As the Ranma and Akane embraced, Soun turned to Nodoka. "All
will be well. He and Akane *will* marry, after all."
The Amazon matriarch bounded over on her cane: "No! Ranma is
Shampoo's husband!"
Nodoka could only look at the two of them and shrug. "Wh.. well,
it's not really mine to say, is it?"
She looked over at the young people, still celebrating both Ranma's
release and Akane's recovery. At the sound of the older folks'
conversation, Ukyou looked up, and stared at Nodoka with a look
of deep sadness. Nodoka gazed at the girl for a moment, and then
turned back to the other parents.
"I'm sorry. He'll make his own decision in time. He's my son,
yes, but he's his own man."
His own *man*..
She liked the sound of that.
--------------------
Author's note:
Oh, MAN. *Finally*.
This whole story started out as a literal nightmare late in June in
which I had to rescue Ran-chan from his mother's vengeance. I woke
up in a cold sweat, and was compelled to immediately start putting
it on paper - and eventually it got posted here to r.a.a.c. It ended
up being a nightmare in its own right -- I've never written a story
this long in my LIFE. The blasted thing just wouldn't *end*. Now
that it has, there are other tales buzzing around my head that need
to be let loose, and I'm trying to flesh them out for public
consumption as soon as possible. And no, I'm NOT continuing
this story, as tempting as the possibility of a union between the
widow Saotome and the widower Tendo might be at this point.
I'd like to thank my pre-readers, AkaneUsa and PXDN, who got
previews of each chapter before they were posted to r.a.a.c. and
sent comments.
Thanks, too, to Andy Combs, my moderator, for helping me through
some nasty technical difficulties on my first couple of chapter posts
(and I appreciate all the letters I got from people asking for copies
of their own. Nothing like a glitch to help you discover if anyone's
out there reading, ne?) For those of you who wrote to comment,
I'd also like to extend appreciation; it's always nice for a first-
timer to receive such plaudits. But I can't let it go to my head:
there's been a few revisions so I could send this story out in its
entirety for archival purposes, most of the corrections sent by you
readers. Thanks for helping me keep everything straight and accurate.
Finally, my deepest thanks go to my darling 'Konatsu', Rei-sama,
who has kept the Ucchan from falling apart while I've been sitting
here in the upstairs apartment getting a tan from this computer
screen. As Shampoo-baka might say: Wo ai ne (hey, I may quote
her, but doesn't mean I gotta respect her or nothin'). And I mean
it, too.
I can promise more to come, but not necessarily *when*.
So, until then..
Ja ne!
Ucchan ^_^
"Standing In The Way" (a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction)
Ranma 1/2 and all the characters therein are copyright Rumiko Takahashi
and are being used without permission.
Chapter VI - Greater manhood hath no love than this..
Every part of Ukyou's body hurt as she and Nodoka trudged back to
the Nerima district and the Tendo dojo from the downtown police
precinct office. Her feet burned from miles of running, as she had
tried to keep up with Nodoka as she chased her husband from rooftop
to rooftop. Her eyes and ears had been seared with the sight and
sound of Genma as he had fallen from the roof of a skyscraper. Her
lungs ached from tearing up thirty-plus flights of stairs to pull
Nodoka from the scene. And her stomach was in knots after an hour
or so of giving statements to the police, compounded by the fact that
even now, once they returned to the dojo, any efforts she had expended
to save Ranma had been wasted, and he might still be required to
perform seppuku. And she had tried so hard, too! It was all she
could do not to break down then and there.
For her part, Nodoka continued walking rapidly toward the dojo,
eyes fixed straight ahead, face expressionless. What is she,
thought Ukyou, made of stone? Or steel? She glanced momentarily
at her fiancé's mother, her own eyes brimming as she started to feel
the full weight of her own failure coming down upon her. There was
no expression on the woman's face.
But just as she turned her gaze away from Nodoka, Ukyou caught a
glimpse of a small sparkle at the corner of the older woman's eye.
Could it be..?
Yes. A tear trickled out of the corner of Nodoka's eye.
"Mrs. Saotome...?" Ranma's mother stopped short. Slowly, she
turned to look into Ukyou's eyes. The despair the girl could see
in them was terrifying.
Nodoka dropped to her knees, and took Ukyou's hand in hers.
"Please, Ukyou.. could you call me.. 'mother'?
Her request was so unexpected, and made in such a plaintive
voice, that Ukyou forgot to be exultant at what could otherwise be
interpreted as acknowledgment of her supremacy in the ranking of
Ranma's fiancees. "C-call you.. muh.. muh-mother?" Once again,
Nodoka winced at the title, or at least appeared to. Her eyes
squeezed tightly, and her lips pinched together in a half-frown,
half-grimace.
Then the dam broke.
"Oh, Ukyou.. No one will ever call me that again!" Now it was
Ukyou's turn to feel awkward embracing someone. Mrs. Saotome was
crying inconsolably on her shoulder - what to do? To say? Then she
realized what she had been asked to call Mrs. Saotome. She smiled,
faintly at first, then broadly, before standing up. She offered her
hand to Mrs. Saotome.
"Don't cry so.. m-Mother.." As much of a triumph as it was, it was
still sinking into Ukyou's mind that she had been *asked* to call her
that. She couldn't get over that! But, she couldn't quite believe
it yet, either. "You still have Ran-chan. He still wants to love
you, and for you to be proud of him. I'm sure I can prove him to be
a man among men yet. I'll bet he's still back at the dojo, waiting
for us.."
Nodoka lifted her head, and reached for Ukyou's hand, "I hope
you're right, Ukyou. I've lost one man already today. I really
don't want to have to go through this again.." They continued on
to the dojo, Ukyou's arm around Nodoka's waist as if to support
her. Nodoka put up no fight. As they walked, Ukyou offered up
a thousand silent prayers for Ranma.
In the courtyard of the Tendo dojo, the situation outside was
reversed. Another one of Ranma's fiancees was crying on the shoulder
of an older woman. Cologne's eyes darted about in bewildered
embarrassment as she continued to hold onto her sobbing granddaughter.
"Please, Shampoo! It is not a sign of strength to cry. Particularly
when there is no reason for you to do so." The younger Amazon
pushed her away to look at her at arm's length. Her eyes were red
and swollen.
"No reason? What you talking, Great-grandmother? Ranma not here.
He run away. He mother right; he no strong man."
"Shampoo." Cologne's voice was firm and steady. "He is certainly
strong enough. And as for his mother, well, she doesn't need to know
what happened to him. Let her think he's run away. We'll find him
first, and take him away from here.
"But as he isn't here, we must begin our search for him right away!"
Shampoo nodded, and followed the old Amazon as she hopped toward
the gate.
Which opened just as they arrived at it - to reveal a rather
surprised Ukyou and Nodoka.
"Shampoo! Cologne! What're you two doing here?!"
"We come rescue hus--" Shampoo received a rap on the head from
her great-grandmother's staff. Gently, not hard enough to knock her
out, but hard enough to remind her that some things were better left
unsaid.
Ukyou winced. Not at the blow Shampoo had sustained, but at her
words. Children and fools...
"Okay, Cologne. You're not paying a social call, that's for sure.
'Fess up. What's the deal?"
The old crone merely smiled mysteriously. "You can't do anything
to make me talk. You *know* you couldn't beat it out of me. Even
*with* your spatula, girl."
The calmer Cologne's answer, the angrier it made Ukyou. "It's
something to do with Ran-chan, isn't it? Tell me!" She reached out
to grab the old hag by her robe, but Cologne nimbly dodged her rather
clumsy effort, and gave her a gentle knock on the head with her cane
that sent Ukyou sprawling to the ground.
"We have done nothing to Mr. Husband. Yet."
Ukyou propped herself up, and gingerly touched the small lump on
the back of her head. "Yeah, right. Whadja do, hide him somewhere
so that you could grab him later when the heat is off and run back
to your Amazon village?"
"We no hide ai ren! He gone! He not waiting in tent like spatula-
girl say..." Both Cologne and Nodoka turned in shock to look at
Shampoo.
"What?! Ranma ran off?" Mrs. Saotome clutched the handle of her
as yet still sheathed katana. She charged past the two Amazons, and
into the tent.
Cologne gave Shampoo a swipe on the head. "Why did you *tell*
them?" she hissed into her ear. "You should have let them find out
for themselves - AFTER we left."
"They not let us go, great-grandmother," Shampoo whispered back.
"This way, crazy woman not watch us - we go." Cologne shrugged,
and they once again headed for the exit.
Which was Ukyou's cue to stand up.
"I don't think so, kids. You're not going until we get some answers.
I'm gonna keep you here if it kills me."
Cologne's voice started to ooze menace. "And it may just do that,
little girl.." She assumed a fighting stance, confident that, without
her main weapon, her opponent was virtually helpless. She decided
to toy with her first, and then, since she *was* unarmed, knock her
out with a simple pressure point. It wouldn't be necessary or
sporting to just destroy her like this. Just give her the impression
you might. She'll see reason and back down.
But Ukyou had come so close to destroying herself already today,
that any threat Cologne might have thought she posed to the girl was
negligible. Even now, Ukyou feared that Ranma may indeed have run
out after all. Which meant the Nodoka would end up still having to
kill him, and, if so, she would die too. She had nothing to lose
from fighting Cologne to the death.
She charged.
Cologne just sat there, perched on her pole. As Ukyou approached
her, she decided to continue her bluff. She raised a gnarled finger
and pointed toward the girl's forehead.
"Bakusai Tenketsu!"
Ukyou was undeterred. Ryoga had pulled that stunt on her in jest
before. She knew it only worked on rocks and other inanimate objects.
"Nice try, grannie!" She grinned as she sent a right hook to the old
woman's jaw, sending her sailing into the Tendo residence. Ukyou
stormed after her.
As she entered the house, she heard a noise overhead like a
stampede of buffalo. Familiar voices echoed throughout the dojo.
"Perfidious swine! What have you done to her?"
"Look, man, I haven't done nothin' to her, got that? Leave me
alone! And getcher hands OFF her, you pervert!"
Ukyou and Cologne stopped their fight. Their mutual goal had been
acheived: they had found Ranma. Ukyou yelled up at the ceiling,
"Ran-chan, is that you?"
"Ucchan! Yeah! Can you gimme a hand up here? C'mon, Kuno, give
it a rest! Let her be, okay?" A hand? Well, hey. He needs my
help. Cool. She waved her hands at Nodoka, who had just stepped
rather dejectedly out of the tent. "He's here!" she mouthed,
indicating the ceiling, and Nodoka's face brightened considerably.
Meanwhile, the tussle between Ranma and Kuno continued.
"How dare you order your sempai around? Hand her over!"
"Not a chance!"
"It is *you* who stand no chance against the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High!" Lightning crackled outside, as it on cue again,
but indoors, Ranma was safe.
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Now get the hell outta my way!" The sound
of rampaging elephants could be heard once again, and the noise
began to make its way to the stairs.
Kuno and Ranma were charging downstairs from Akane's room,
jockeying for position. Ranma was carrying the still-comatose Akane,
thus preventing Kuno from passing him on the stairs. Once on the
ground floor, Kuno elbowed Ranma aside, almost causing him to drop
her. "Watch it, y'dumb ox!"
With that, Kuno halted, drew himself up, and proceeded to denounce
Ranma, to everybody in general and nobody in particular.
"This foul fiend has been cowering in, of all places, the bedchamber
of my dear Tendo Akane herself! Defiling the very temple of Artemis
with his unholy presence!"
"I just wanted to check on her, that's all! I was worried about
her, okay?" Kuno paid him absolutely no heed.
"..To continue his vile sorcery that even now holds her in
Morpheus' grip! What's more, he -"
"Uh, Kuno, baby.." Now Nabiki decided to enter the fray.
"Ah, Tendo Nabiki. Surely you can see reason." He turned his back
to her, so that he was facing Ranma. He pointed accusingly at Ranma.
"This despicable car has caused my darling Akane - your sister! -
such distress as to render her unconscious to the point of death.
I speak the truth; you know it to be so." As he gesticulated at Ranma
with his right hand, his left hand, which was behind his back, was
displaying several 10,000-yen notes which he had concealed up his
sleeve. As he spoke, he waved the banknotes to attract Nabiki's
attention. "I demand that he release her from this enchantment
immediately, and hand her over to me. I will give her the care she
deserves. Can anyone persuade him to do so?" Nabiki walked up
behind him and slapped him, hard enough to spin him around. He
was now facing her, and the left hand, still holding the cash, was
exposed to plain view.
"That hurt, Nabiki Tendo." he said in his usual aloof manner. He
was so absorbed in reproving Nabiki that he had forgotten about
his bribe.
"LOOK AT ME if you're gonna talk to me!" she yelled, gesticulating
frantically in an effort to get the others' attention. Her father was
the first to catch sight of the wad of bills. He walked over to Kuno
and clamped a hand on his shoulder. At the same time, his other
hand pulled the bills from Kuno's hand, and waved them in front of
his face.
"Young man.. I believe these are yours."
As soft as Mr. Tendo generally was, there were times he could be
hard as granite. This was one of those times. Kuno actually
hesitated before taking his money back. "I.. uh.. thank you, sir.."
"Now then, young man.. WHAT were you trying to accomplish with
this?" Soun's demon head started to fire up.
Even the Blue Thunder can be grounded now and again. Kuno
decided upon the better part of valor and beat a hasty retreat.
Ranma set Akane down as gently as he could onto the porch. "I see
you two are back, ne?" he said, smiling grimly at his mother and
Ukyou. "So... is the ceremony still on? And where's Pop?"
Nodoka and Ukyou looked at each other. Nodoka nodded at Ukyou,
and turned toward her son, steeling herself for the news Ukyou was
about to deliver, the news she already knew.
"I... I'm sorry, Ran-chan. Your mother was chasing after him, and
he fell from a skyscraper... He didn't make it."
There was a great silence. One could actually hear Ranma's eyes
grow large.
"...Otou-san?"
The boy sank to his knees under the weight of the news.
Nabiki reflected that he had never used that word when addressing
or referring to his father before. It was always 'Oyaji:' old man.
Anyone could tell Ranma never had much respect for his old man...
except possibly his old man. Or maybe Genma always just let it pass.
Or maybe Genma actually knew he wasn't worthy of more respect
than that, after all.
Nodoka smiled sadly at her son. "I imagine it is right to show some
grief over him; after all, he was the only parent you knew for so many
years, ne? I am sorry it had to come to this.
"But I am proud of you, my son. Dearest was a poor teacher; I see
that now. You have learned far more than he could ever have taught
you, and I'm not talking merely about techniques. You have learned
the courage to face up to your shortcomings and weaknesses, and to
develop strengths to counter them where you can, and accept the
consequences where you cannot. You have indeed become a man's man
after all. There is no need for any such ceremony."
Her face brightened. "You know, as much as I mourn my dearest, it
somehow seems as if I haven't lost a husband as much as I've re-
gained a son. You *are* my son after all - and you have returned
to me after thirteen long and lonely years. I can see that you no
longer fear me...
"Of course, now that you've been returned.." she smiled wistfully,
"it seems a pity that I have to give you away again so soon."
Ranma had started to relax during his mother's speech, but that
last sentence got his attention: "Uh.. give me away?"
"But of course. The school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts needs
an heir (and, to be honest, I can't *wait* to have grandchildren).
This means, then, that you, Ranma, will have to choose your fiancee.
We can't have you stringing all these girls along, and..." her eyes
twinkled ever so slightly -- he is quite the man, isn't he, to have
so many girls chasing after him all the time, but -- "polygamy is
still against the law." A big sweatdrop appeared on Ranma's
forehead.
"You mean.. right now?"
"Why not? They're all here." Well.. except Kodachi. I don't
think he'd consider her, though..
"I'm sorry, mom. I can't do that."
"What?"
"I said no, Mom. You can't make me choose. Not yet.
"I dunno if you've noticed, mom, but Akane almost died because
she thought she was going to lose me. And you've seen the lengths
to which Ukyou and Shampoo are willing to go to for my sake. No
matter what you do, if you're gonna insist I choose someone _right_
_now_, you're gonna be killing att least one of these girls. That's
not fair! I really do care about all of them, and I don't wish any
of them to come to harm..
"Just don't make me do this, okay? Not until the ones I *don't*
choose are ready to accept it."
A frown spread across Nodoka's face. "You disappoint me, son.."
"I see. So, by not choosing, I have once again failed to be a
man's man in your eyes..." He stood up and walked over to the
tent, and went in. A moment later, he came out, holding the three
daggers that had been left behind in the confusion. He set down
two of them, and holding the other next to his abdomen, knelt
before his mother, facing the house only a yard away. "..are you
ready with that katana, mother?"
No. He was not showing any fear. But Ukyou was right. That
katana... it really was all he could see when he looked at her. His
own mother, nothing but an angel of death.
What else could she do? She unsheathed it, and raised it onto
her shoulder.
"NO!" From behind her, a cry of protest. Shampoo?
The purple-haired girl leaped over her and crumpled at her feet.
"Ranma mother no kill ai ren! Even if he no choose Shampoo, better
than he dead. Please!" From behind Nodoka Cologne scowled at her
great-granddaughter's groveling. This girl is hardly fit for the
Amazon throne. Should she actually inherit it from me, good heavens!
There'll be no Laws left unbroken!
Ukyou knelt beside Ranma and picked up her own dagger. She
reached over and grasped the hand of the still-comatose Akane,
and squeezed tightly.
"You know my offer stands... Mother." Nodoka was back to wincing
at the title -- had she really given this girl permission to call
her that? "Do as you think you must, but realize that if he goes,
we go too."
All eyes were on Nodoka, or rather, on the sword that had become
an extension of herself. Even she turned her head sideways, to
gaze at it.
She set her jaw, and with a mighty cry of anguish and fury, she
swung the katana with all her might. Time slowed to a crawl, as
Shampoo and Ukyou closed their eyes and ducked, while Ranma's
eyes practically started from their sockets as he stayed frozen in
position like a deer caught in the headlights of an onrushing truck...
The impact shook the walls of the Tendo residence, and broke the
katana in two. Nodoka had struck the doorjamb with the flat of the
blade. The pointed end bounced away from the door, and flew,
spinning, into the koi pond. With a final cry, Nodoka thrust the
broken portion into the ground just outside the porch. The soft
earth swallowed the blade to its hilt.
"That accursed thing has brought me enough misery and blood to
last seven lifetimes! And I never *once* actually used it! My
husband ran away from me and died rather than face me because of it.
And he almost took you with him.
"I am not this evil beast who wants to destroy you for every
mistake you make. I am your *mother*, Ranma. Let me *be* that for
you. But if all you see of me is that katana, then.." she stepped
on the hilt that stuck up from the ground, and slowly drove it in
until it was completely buried. "...there. May you see it no more.
"I release you from your promise."
Pandemonium broke loose around mother and son. Shampoo and Ukyou
squealed with delight and relief. They jumped up and down hugging
each other. Nabiki collected the daggers from Ranma, and took them
to the kitchen, where she placed them in the silverware drawer.
Soun, for his part, was waving the customary white fans showing
his approval. Cologne merely sat on her cane, nodding sagely.
"Honor has been satisfied." Still, such a waste of such a fine
sword...
Ranma handed his knife to Nabiki with great relief, but made an
effort to maintain a calm expression. Inwardly, he was grinning
broadly. Okay, Nabiki. Bring on those playing cards! If I can
handle bluffing my mom with these kind of stakes, anything you could
possibly do to me will be penny-ante from now on. This buys me
some time...
"Ungh..."
"Akane-chan!" Ukyou bounded over to her rival's side. Sure enough,
she was beginning to wake. There was a clatter of silverware as even
Nabiki rushed over to the patio.
"Sis...?"
The first face that greeted her, though, was Ranma, who had leaned
in so close as to block anyone else from her line of vision.
"R-Ranma? Wuh.. what happened?"
"Erm... quite a lot, actually..."
"Ah.. am I dead, then?" Ranma couldn't help but smile.
"No, Akane. You're fine, and so am I..."
"Omigosh... you're alive?!" She sat bolt upright. "You're alive!
Oh, Ranma!" And she crushed him with a great bear hug.
So this is how she really feels about me? Wish she'd said so
long ago...
As the Ranma and Akane embraced, Soun turned to Nodoka. "All
will be well. He and Akane *will* marry, after all."
The Amazon matriarch bounded over on her cane: "No! Ranma is
Shampoo's husband!"
Nodoka could only look at the two of them and shrug. "Wh.. well,
it's not really mine to say, is it?"
She looked over at the young people, still celebrating both Ranma's
release and Akane's recovery. At the sound of the older folks'
conversation, Ukyou looked up, and stared at Nodoka with a look
of deep sadness. Nodoka gazed at the girl for a moment, and then
turned back to the other parents.
"I'm sorry. He'll make his own decision in time. He's my son,
yes, but he's his own man."
His own *man*..
She liked the sound of that.
--------------------
Author's note:
Oh, MAN. *Finally*.
This whole story started out as a literal nightmare late in June in
which I had to rescue Ran-chan from his mother's vengeance. I woke
up in a cold sweat, and was compelled to immediately start putting
it on paper - and eventually it got posted here to r.a.a.c. It ended
up being a nightmare in its own right -- I've never written a story
this long in my LIFE. The blasted thing just wouldn't *end*. Now
that it has, there are other tales buzzing around my head that need
to be let loose, and I'm trying to flesh them out for public
consumption as soon as possible. And no, I'm NOT continuing
this story, as tempting as the possibility of a union between the
widow Saotome and the widower Tendo might be at this point.
I'd like to thank my pre-readers, AkaneUsa and PXDN, who got
previews of each chapter before they were posted to r.a.a.c. and
sent comments.
Thanks, too, to Andy Combs, my moderator, for helping me through
some nasty technical difficulties on my first couple of chapter posts
(and I appreciate all the letters I got from people asking for copies
of their own. Nothing like a glitch to help you discover if anyone's
out there reading, ne?) For those of you who wrote to comment,
I'd also like to extend appreciation; it's always nice for a first-
timer to receive such plaudits. But I can't let it go to my head:
there's been a few revisions so I could send this story out in its
entirety for archival purposes, most of the corrections sent by you
readers. Thanks for helping me keep everything straight and accurate.
Finally, my deepest thanks go to my darling 'Konatsu', Rei-sama,
who has kept the Ucchan from falling apart while I've been sitting
here in the upstairs apartment getting a tan from this computer
screen. As Shampoo-baka might say: Wo ai ne (hey, I may quote
her, but doesn't mean I gotta respect her or nothin'). And I mean
it, too.
I can promise more to come, but not necessarily *when*.
So, until then..
Ja ne!
Ucchan ^_^