--Chapter 4: Pranks, Suspicions, and the Truth--
Collapsing in
the privacy of the little stone dungeon room they'd used for three nights
now, four Marauders plus three more laughed until they couldn't breathe.
It wasn't just the grasshoppers in Malfoy's soup, it wasn't just Snape's
wonderful new hairstyle, and it certainly wasn't just all the seventh-year
girls who were now barricaded in the hospital wing waiting to have their
tails removed, it was the fact that they'd got away so cleanly. Well, then
again, maybe it was all the funny sights they'd been treated to in the
last 72 hours, not the least of which was the look on Filch's face when
he realized Mrs. Norris had been turned into a pink eraser. Of course,
McGonagall had turned the skeletal grey cat right back to her usual form,
but it had certainly been worth it.
And no one suspected
anything. At least, no one suspected that the Marauders were the culprits,
returning from a long sabbatical to work their own brand of magic upon
Hogwarts yet again. No one could possibly suspect Harry, Hermione, or Ron,
since a number of the incidents occurred in impossible places while they
were behaving themselves in class. Yet all seven of them rightly guessed
that at that very moment, a number of the teachers were getting headaches
discussing how on earth such trademark pranks as James' written comment
in Transfiguration could possibly reappear after so long. It just made
it all the funnier.
"You have...
got... to teach us... some of those!" gasped Harry, trying to catch his
breath from laughing so hard. "Just seeing Trelawney with those... those..."
"Ears?" provided
James, causing them all to collapse into hysteria again.
When Remus had
calmed down enough, he explained, "Maddy Hartford gave us the idea when
she made us watch Muggle television on holiday. There was an American program,
a science fiction, and one character had these pointy ears..." Feeling
too silly to keep up his usual dignity, Remus mimed the look with his hands.
Harry snorted with laughter.
"And we simply
improved upon the design," finished Sirius.
Hermione giggled,
wiping tears from her eyes. "I've seen that show..." she said weakly. "If
I laugh any harder, I think I'll burst. But did you have to do that to
Snape?"
"What, you have
something against bleached-blonds?" inquired James innocently.
"Poor git,"
said Ron with no trace of any real remorse, "He'll never live that down."
"He didn't the
first time," said Sirius.
After a moment's
pause, Harry spoke up, rather serious. "When are you going back? I don't
mean this hasn't been fun, and all..."
"It should be
soon," said Remus after some thought.
"Moony--" groaned
Sirius, rolling his eyes.
"No, listen,"
said James. "He's right. Dumbledore is far from thick: he'll figure this
out eventually, even if it doesn't seem possible. We should go back before
we get Harry and the rest of you in trouble. Time travel is slightly more
than illegal, you know."
"Not any more
than being unregistered Animagi," pointed out Sirius.
"Yes, but also
slightly easier to be caught doing," James returned.
Sirius grunted.
"So far I'm outnumbered. What about you, Wormtail?"
Peter shrugged.
"James is right, I think. And we have had our fun."
James grinned.
"No argument there."
"Tomorrow morning,
then," said Remus. "If we're going back to the same time we left, I'd at
least like to get a good night's sleep, since we'll be returning to 3 AM."
"Well, if you
don't mind, then," said Ron, standing up and stretching. "I'm going to
bed. All this fun is wearing me out."
"Aw," said Sirius
with a sort of sappy puppy-dog look, "Poor widdle Ronniekins can't handle
all the excitement!"
"Bugger off,"
said Ron absently. "How 'bout you, Harry?"
"No bugging
off here, thank you," said Harry with a grin, "But I've got some Charms
homework to finish. How about the rest of you?"
"Same here,"
said Hermione, standing up with Harry. James almost volunteered to help
when Sirius shot him a very meaningful look.
"We'll stay
here and talk awhile," said Sirius, "About going home, you know, and all
that."
Harry shrugged, and he and his friends left. When the door snicked
shut, James turned on Sirius.
"Something up,
Padfoot?"
"My, you're
quick," said Sirius sarcastically. "What took you?"
"What on earth
do you mean?" said James, taken aback.
"Am I the only
one who noticed anything odd these past few days?" Sirius asked, glaring
'round at them all.
"Besides the
fact that we're twenty five years into the future?" said Remus.
Sirius ignored
him. "Don't you think its odd that we haven't learned a thing about what
happens to us in the future?" he said.
"Not really,"
said Remus. "I can't imagine it would be a good idea, and Harry realises
that. Like telling James who his wife will be--it just wouldn't be good."
"There seems
to be a lot more to it than that," said Sirius stubbornly.
"You know, Padfoot,
I think you're right," said James slowly. "I thought it was just me."
"But it isn't,
is it?" said Sirius. "I noticed it too. Little things. I mean, would it
be so bad if Harry or one of them told us what we would be doing with ourselves?
A career choice is rather different from a love life."
"Like you'd
know about either," said James with a grin, but before Sirius could sock
him, he held up his hands and added, "But I know what you mean."
"Well I, quite
frankly, don't," said Remus flatly. "What would he be hiding?"
"I don't know,
Remus, why don't you tell us?" sniped Sirius. "You're the one who knows
all about hiding things. Why haven't you noticed that dear Harrykins has
been keeping something from us all this time, and that it definitely isn't
his mother's identity?"
"Or, I take
it, your broomstick incident," added Remus.
"I did not
have a broomstick incident!" yelled Sirius, finally losing his temper.
"Shut up, both
of you!" said James. "Sirius, we all know very well you didn't have a broomstick
incident. And Remus, Sirius is right. Something here is definitely up."
Remus folded his arms defensively.
"If you can
give me more evidence than just 'a funny feeling', I'd like to hear it,"
he said.
"All right,
evidence," said Sirius, thinking. "Like, Harry knowing none of our pranks."
"I have an idea
that teaching pranks to one's friends and passing them on to one's son
are rather different," said Remus. "Or maybe James just won't want
Harry breaking his record for Most Detentions Ever Acquired by a Single
Hogwarts Student."
"Yeah, but one
of you might have gone and corrupted him anyway," said James. "But
that's not the only thing. The way he looks at me. I get this
funny feeling, like he's never, well, I don't know--"
"--seen you
before," finished Peter. "Right?"
"Exactly," said
James. "Like he's never seen me in person, never really talked to me."
"Though it could
be just seeing you his own age for once," admitted Sirius, "But I get the
feeling that's not it."
"There's that
feeling of yours again," said Remus. "What else?"
"He never talks
about home," said Sirius, ignoring the comment. "He never mentions siblings.
That's another thing: he said he's the only one at Hogwarts with a Marauder
for a parent. Why? In all this time, why didn't any of us have kids? I
mean, I admit it, I like Patricia. Maybe I won't marry her, but I like
to think I'll marry *someone* someday. At least one of us would, right?"
"You mean besides
James," said Remus. "Though you have to wonder who would marry a werewolf."
"Maddy might,"
said James, smiling not unkindly.
"Thanks for
the thought," said Remus, and he put his chin in his hand, thinking. "You
do have a point there, about no other kids, I mean. But he does have the
cloak and that Map."
"Yes, but nothing
else," said James, "No pictures on his bedside table, nothing else that
looks like it came from the Potter estate. I would bet you that if I asked
him for the password to the family vault, he wouldn't know. And more than
that, think of the things we've told him that surprised him. I don't think
he knew Sirius and I played Chasers at Quidditch. You'd think he'd have
heard that before now."
"Now that
is a very good point," conceded Remus. He sighed and shrugged.
"I admit I thought he was hiding something, but I couldn't put my finger
on it."
"I still can't,"
said James. "Think we should ask him?"
"Yeah," said
Peter, "and I want to ask him about that scar."
"What?" said
James, though he knew what Peter meant.
"You know,"
said Peter, tracing a line on his own forehead. "That odd lightning scar.
I want to know what hit him right there that couldn't heal."
Sirius immediately
got a very strange shiver up his spine. "We should definitely ask him what's
up," said Sirius, "Even if he still can't tell us everything, the least
he could do is tell us why."
Nodding in agreement,
the Marauders left the little dungeon room and made their way back up to
Gryffindor Tower, discussing in quiet whispers the best way to get the
truth out of Harry.
Gryffindor
Tower was crowded with students, and the Marauders noticed with amusement
that most of them were discussing the recent spate of interesting events.
Ron's twin brothers seemed to have been taking notes, and were now trying
to figure out how to copy the different hexes. Sirius made a mental
note to pass on some of the better ones to them, via Ron, just so their
graduation could be that much more interesting.
They ascended
the stairs to Harry's dormitory, and as they neared it, they caught sounds
of a heated argument, apparently between Harry and Ron. Neville Longbottom
was ahead of them on the stairs, and when they came to the door, Dean Thomas
motioned for Neville to stay away. "Something's wrong with those
two," he said, "We might want to stay away for a bit."
"You don't
think they're the ones doing all those pranks?" said Neville.
"No way,
we were all in Divination together when Goyle turned into a rabbit, remember?"
said Dean. James had to suppress a snigger. Dean and Neville
descended the stairs again, and the Marauders leaned in to listen, trying
to find out what Harry and Ron were on about. Whatever it was, it
was noisy. They had no problem hearing the heated argument going
on inside.
"So what
are you going to do Harry?" yelled Ron, sounding like he'd asked this question
several times already. "Are you going to tell them? You think
you can just fix things like that?"
"Maybe
I will," said Harry, quieter but with deadly anger. "You seem to
think something horrible will happen if I do. What could be worse
than this? What could be worse than going home every summer to people
that hate me? What could be worse than growing up alone, with people
who think you're deformed or something? Do you know how the Dursleys
think of magic? They call it my 'abnormality!' What could be
worse than that? What could be worse than spending ten years
in a cupboard watching your cousin get spoiled rotten, all the while wondering
what its like to have real parents that love you? I've never
had family! Ever! But of course, you wouldn't understand, you're
not an orphan!"
Stunned
silence followed this tirade, both inside the room and out. James
realised that, for the first time in his life, he just might faint.
Sirius, Remus and Peter all stared at him, wide-eyed and disbelieving.
It couldn't be possible, it just couldn't!
"James..."
began Sirius, but the row in the dormitory wasn't over.
"Look,
Harry, I'm sorry about your family. You know I am," said Ron, somewhat
subdued. "But really, what are you gonna tell them: 'Hey James,
guess what, one of your friends is going to sell your life for his'?"
The Marauders
were further thunderstruck. James lost all feeling in his legs, stumbled,
and Peter had to catch him from falling.
"Well,
no, but--" said Harry.
"You heard
Hermione, didn't you?" Ron went on, regaining confidence, "No one
knows exactly what happened that night. What if they die anyway,
just a few years later? What if you die too? Dad says the Dark
Lord could break all kinds of enchantments at the height of his powers,
you think the charm protecting you all would have lasted forever?
You told me yourself he finally got through the one that saved your life."
"Look,
I don't care!" yelled Harry. "I can't just say nothing!
Its not just my dad, either. Its everything that happened to Sirius,
too. We can stop that! We can change everything! This
is my chance!"
"Yeah,
well, forget it," said Ron, "Because if you go out there and tell them,
then I'm gonna be right behind with Memory Charms, because there's just
as much a chance you'll die if they go home knowing."
"You try,
and I'll Stun you," hissed Harry. "You don't understand!"
"Maybe
I don't!" returned Ron, "But I'll never forgive myself if you die because
of this. Think about it for once: how many more people would've
died? Maybe not you, maybe not your parents, but maybe my mum and
dad, or my brothers, or Ginny, or me? Or Hermione? Doesn't
You-Know-Who have a personal vendetta against Muggle-borns? She'd
be dead meat!"
It seemed
that Harry was brought up short. After a moment, though, as the Marauders
were all desperately trying to work out what was going on, Harry said,
rather quietly, "I can't just say nothing, Ron. He's my dad."
"Yeah,
well, you better try," said Ron, not entirely unkindly.
Harry's
voice cracked as he went on. "This... these past three days... I've
never had this much fun in my life. I finally know my dad.
I don't really have any memories of him, except for what I heard with the
Dementors. When they leave, that'll be it."
"At least
now you have that," said Ron. "Oi, I sound like my mum!"
There was the sound of footsteps coming towards the door, but no Marauder
moved away, they were were frozen to the spot.
"Where're
you going?" said Harry, suspicious.
"To find
them," said Ron, opening the door. "It's getting late."
He found
them all right. There they were: a very pale James, a thunderstruck
Sirius, a livid Remus, and a shivering Peter, all standing just outside
the door. Turning brilliant red before going paper-white, Ron looked
like he was trying to say something, but the something was dead in his
throat. Behind him, Harry got up off his four-poster where he'd been
sitting and realized what was going on.
"Oh, no..."
he said, going very pale himself and sitting back down again. He
buried his face in his hands.
"Is it...
is it true?" whispered Sirius in a shaky voice.
Harry
only buried himself further in his hands, while Ron stepped back automatically
to let them in.
"We heard...
a lot of it," said Remus, very quietly, coming in and sitting down next
to Harry on the four-poster, "at least, starting with that bit about being
an orphan. That's not true, is it, Harry?"
There
was a long time where no one said anything. Harry made no move, and
Ron just stared off into space. The Marauders exchanged panicked
glances, while James, leaning against one of the walls for support, wondered
if he was going to be sick.
Finally,
Ron croaked, "Yeah, it's true." He closed the dormitory door at last,
moving stiffly, and sat down on his own bed. James swallowed whatever
it was that had knotted up his throat, gathered his courage, and sat on
Harry's other side. Not really sure what to do next, he put a hand
on Harry's back.
"Look,"
he said, "I'm sorry." Harry finally brought his head up, staring
back at James with tearstained eyes.
"You didn't
do anything," he muttered.
"How did
it happen?" asked Peter timidly, he and Sirius sitting on the bed across
from Harry's. Harry shot him a startled glance that made Peter jump.
Harry sighed, choking back tears.
"If I
told you," he said, and paused, wondering how to say the rest of it.
"Worse
things might happen?" suggested Remus.
"Right
cheerful, aren't you?" said Sirius sarcastically, glaring at him. "Harry,
if you tell us, maybe we could change things."
"That's
just it!" exploded Harry, flinging out his hands so that both James and
Remus had to duck. "If you knew what happened, if things changed,
maybe I would get you back, James. I want that more than anything.
I've wanted it my whole life. But there's loads more to it."
"Like
what?" said James, trying to keep his voice steady, and failing miserably.
He'd never been this upset in his life, never been without control before,
and with good reason. He'd simply never been this scared.
Harry
looked at each one of them in turn before asking, "Have you ever heard
of Voldemort?"
"Wait,"
said Sirius, wrinkling his nose as he thought, "Isn't he that nutter behind
all those murders?"
"He's
not just a nutter, he's a--wha'd'you call it--a megolomaniac," said Ron
from his bed. "And most people, except for Dumbledore and ol' Harry
here, call him 'You-Know-Who'."
Harry
nodded. "Its been years since he fell and people are still afraid.
We hear about it once in awhile in Defense Against the Dark Arts.
He invented curses and made use of ones no one had seen in centuries.
He could break through all sorts of wards. No one could stop him.
Dumbledore was the only wizard he was afraid of.
"He killed
all the best wizards and witches because they stood against him, and he
killed loads of Muggles for the fun of it. Everyone was afraid for
their lives, and no one was safe."
"He sounds
like Grindelwald," said Remus.
"Only
about twenty times worse," said James slowly. "Is that how I died--I
mean, I'm going to die, or however you say it?"
Harry
didn't meet his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted hoarsely, "You knew he
was after you, too. You and Mum tried to hide, but--"
"--someone
gave you away," finished Sirius, his blood suddenly cold.
"I don't
remember much of it," Harry went on, running a finger along his scar, "I
do remember a lot of green light and horrible laughter.
"The weird
part, the part I'm afraid to change, is this: Voldemort tried to
kill me, too, with Avada Kedavra, but it didn't work."
"But that's
impossible!" sputtered Remus. "There's no countercurse!"
"I know
it's impossible," Harry shot back. "No one really understands it.
At least, if Dumbledore knows, he isn't telling yet. All we know
is that part of it was a charm my mum used. When Voldemort went to
kill me, she offered herself first. She died for me, and I think--I
think--that
was part of the reason the curse failed. Instead of killing me, it
rebounded on Voldemort. All I got was this scar." He pointed
to the lightning scar on his forehead. "Voldemort didn't die, though,
but he was almost destroyed, which was good enough."
"Harry's
famous for it," Ron added.
"So you
were worried," said Sirius slowly, "that if we knew about this, we'd try
to stop Voldemort from trying to kill you, so he wouldn't be destroyed."
"And more
people might die," whispered James, his eyes not focused on the room or
anything in it, but on strange visions that appeared to him then, visions
of green light and horrible explosions and something large and invisible
and unstoppable, whooshing down like wind upon him.
"Something
like that," said Harry, sighing. "I just keep thinking, though, that
it all might be the past to us, but to you its still the future, and no
one can really know the future. We've probably already ruined it
all anyway, by telling you."
James
nodded dumbly. There was silence as each of the Marauders descended
into deep thought, pondering the vast implications of Harry's words. James
was contemplating his own mortality. Sirius was contemplating James'
mortality and the horror of losing his best friend. Remus was wondering
what he would do every month without the Marauders' support. Peter
was trying not to panic over the thought of not having the great James
Potter around to stick up for him. And however much Harry had wanted
to warn his father about the future, he now deeply regretted ever mentioning
it.
After
a long moment, Remus said slowly, "Sirius, is there a way to go back to
our own time, but be a few minutes early?"
Harry,
Ron, and the rest of the Marauders all looked up. "What do you mean?"
said Harry sharply.
"He's
suggesting we warn our past selves to not come forward in time," said James.
"We can't
do that!" exclaimed Sirius. "Not now that we know! We could
prevent all this!"
"Or make
it a lot worse," said Remus, crossing his arms.
"I think
I'm willing to take that risk," Sirius answered coldly.
"Yeah,
and what if James still dies anyway? What then, Sirius?" Neither
Harry nor Ron had ever seen Remus this angry. James didn't even seem
to acknowledge that an argument was going on, his eyes were focused elsewhere,
and he was lost in thought.
"He doesn't
have to die. Its still the future to us! The future can be
changed," insisted Sirius stubbornly.
"Wait
a minute," said Ron, his face screwed up in concentration. "Is it
even possible to go back and warn yourselves?"
"What
do you mean? Of course it can," said Remus, caught off-guard.
"You just go back a few minutes early and explain to yourself that you
shouldn't do what caused all the problems. Simple."
"No..."
Ron was making some odd motions with his hands, miming something.
"If... if you go back and warn yourself, then your past self doesn't do
the thing that you regret later, so you have no reason to go back in time
and warn yourself, so your past self will never get warned to not do the
thing you'll regret, so... wouldn't you do it anyway?"
"You lost
me," said Sirius. "But somewhere in there, I suspect you made sense."
"But you
could also tell yourself to wait a bit, go back in time to your past self,
when you were warning yourself the first time, and warn them, thus completing
the circle," said Remus after a bit.
"But wouldn't
that--" Ron suddenly looked very confused. He paused a moment, trying
to figure that last part out, and then threw up his hands. "Never
mind. I'm in way over my head. Why don't we ask Hermione?
She's the one who had that Time-Turner."
Harry
looked up. "When I used it with her, two years ago, she told me that
the one thing you absolutely couldn't do with time travel is meet yourself.
I mean, you wouldn't be expecting to meet your future selves, would you?
What would you think?"
"I'd think
I'd gone mad," said Peter quietly.
"Exactly--"
"But didn't
we discuss the possibility of someone coming back to warn us before we
left?" said Remus.
"And no
one did, did they?" Sirius pointed out.
"Are you
saying the matter's decided just because of that?" said Remus indignantly.
"Nothing's
decided," James declared suddenly, and with surprising finality.
Everyone jumped. He stared 'round at them all, a sort of hardness
gleaming in his grey eyes. "I mean, nothing about the future is decided,"
he clarified. "Listen. We can't go back in time to warn ourselves
because we have no idea what that might do. I for one don't feel
like messing around with time any more than we have to. We can't
use memory charms because I'm immune to them. You all know that.
Except Harry and Ron." Harry and Ron exchanged surprised glances,
never having heard of that sort of thing. "So," James went on,
"tomorrow morning we go back to our own time and we face the future just
like always. Frankly, I don't care if I die young, because at least
it sounds like I die doing something noble, and that's more than most people
get. And nothing's really decided anyway. I know none of us
put much stock in what Professor Trelawney says, but she once had me do
a study on Providence for detention, and one thing I learned from that
study is that very few things, if any, happen without a reason. Maybe
this whole time travel thing is a warning to us. Maybe we're supposed
to learn something. Maybe we will change the future, and none of
this will have happened. I don't know. But in any case, we
know what maybe we shouldn't have known, and now there's nothing we can
do about it."
Harry
now understood why Sirius said that James had been the de facto leader
of the Marauders. There was an authority in his tone and posture
that brooked no debate. He had spoken his piece and not even Dumbledore
could have gainsaid it. Sirius wouldn't even meet James' eyes, and
Peter looked downright terrified. Remus' gaze was steady, though,
as if he suddenly understood what James was talking about. Yet James
ignored him. He turned instead to Harry.
"Don't
tell us any more," he said firmly. Harry nodded, feeling rather dizzy
about the whole thing.
"I'd also
suggest not arguing with him, unless you'd like to spend the rest of your
life as a sugar quill," added Sirius, who seemed to have recovered enough
to be sarcastic again.
"And we
should be getting to bed," James went on, standing up. "We've got
a long day tomorrow." The other Marauders obeyed silently, retreating
to the corner of Gryffindor Tower where they'd slept the past few nights.
But James stayed behind a moment, still looking at Harry.
"It's
not your fault," he said softly. Harry met James' eyes and they stared
at each other for a long moment, and a strange understanding passed between
them.
"It's
not yours, either," Harry replied.