AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy gets rid of Fish Boy, once and for all
SPOILER: Minor S4
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-14
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does. Death to the evil man who ruined such fine characters for no reason at all! Britney Spears owns the song. And don't ask me about using so much of her music. It's addictive, okay?
5/2/00
//I think I did it again
I made you believe
We're more than just friends
Oh baby
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean
That I'm serious\\
"What is that racket?" Willow asked. She threw her keys on the fridge by the door and stared at her friend.
"Oops, I did it again," Buffy sang. "I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. Oh baby, baby--"
"You're scaring me," Willow said, locking the door and kicking her bookbag out of her way instead of lifting it. "How's Amy?"
"I'm not sure. She's better than I'd be if I was a nineteen-year-old Witch-turned-rat. Oops! You think I'm in love..."
"Buffy, that song has got to go," Willow said firmly. "It's annoying Amy."
Buffy laughed. "Sorry, Will. I just.....it's helping, you know?"
"You wanna go sing it to Riley at Kareoke night?" Willow joked. "That might help."
"That's not a bad idea."
"Then it's settled," Willow handed her a flyer. "There's a Kareoke party at Tara's sorority tomorrow night. Everyone will be too drunk to pay attention so you won't have to worry about the other people thing. And you can bring Riley and--"
"Wait! Tara's in a sorority?" Buffy interrupted.
"Alpha Omega Beta."
"Freaky."
"Hey, just because you're a lesbian, that doesn't mean you can't be girlie."
"I wasn't thinking about the lesbian thing, I was thinking of the Witch thing," Buffy said.
"Oh yeah, that. Tara wants me to pledge so we can live in one of the sorority apartments on campus next year. You should pledge too, we could get a two-bedroom."
"I dunno," Buffy made sure her journal was locked in the nightstand and looked at her friend. "I'm not really the joining type, you know? You remember what happened when I tried to be a cheerleader."
"But Buffy, this would be different. It'll be so fun! A new kind of sisterhood."
Buffy beamed. "Willow, that's it!"
"What's it?"
"Riley. You me. Tara. Lesbians!"
"I'm not at all following," Willow smiled. "Back me up a few cars."
Buffy laughed. "That's how I'll get rid of Riley! I'll tell him that I'm a lesbian!"
"I dunno, Buffy. I mean you have to take a class..."
Buffy ignored her best friend's ramblings and began her own. "It'll be so great! With you and me pledging at the sorority and moving out, it'll be perfect. What do you say?"
Willow sighed. "I guess I'm willing to try anything to get rid of him."
Buffy frowned. "I thought you said you liked Riley."
"He's your f**k buddy, I mean, your boyfriend, Buffy," Willow said. "Of course I said I liked him. That doesn't mean I truly did."
"Oh," Buffy sat on the bed, pouting. "You really liked Angel, right?"
"Yes, I really liked Angel."
"Good. So we'll do the lesbian thing?"
"Yes."
"Great!" Buffy stood up, happy again. "We'll do it at the party tomorrow night.
"Can we still do the Kareoke?" Willow asked hopefully.
"Of course," Buffy grabbed her CD wallet. "What song should we sing?"
"Anything but Britney Spears."
*****
At the sorority house party, Buffy was in the best mood she'd been in all semester. She smiled, danced, ate, drank, and waited for Fish Boy to arrive.
"Remind me to thank Xander for that nickname," she mumbled to herself while scanning the crowd.
Two drinks later, Riley showed up with Graham. Buffy grabbed Tara from Willow's side and they immediately began dancing.
When Riley noticed, he walked up to Willow, fuming.
"WHAT is Buffy doing?" he demanded. "The Lord is watching!"
Willow tried not to laugh or throw her drink on him. "Didn't Buffy tell you? She's one of *us* now."
"US?" he asked incredulously.
"She's like Tara and I," Willow went on. "A--"
"A Witch?" Riley asked. "I don't believe in Witches. I come from a long line of good Christians. Why, my aunt Idalynn Mae was one of the jurors at the Salem Witch Trials."
Willow dug her nails her sweater to keep from kicking Riley where it would count. She debated whether or not to tell him that that Salem Witch Trials didn't even *have* jurors. "You know, Riley--"
"I need to go save Buffy's soul!" he rushed past Willow and she rolled her eyes. Then she smiled, realizing what she could do.
"Goddess Hecate," she began, "Work thy will--"
"I thought only Amy cursed people."
Willow turned around and stuck her tongue out at Xander. He had Anya with him, and they were each holding a tropical-looking drink.
"I was going to curse Riley," Willow explained.
"No one would've missed him if you turned him into a Billy goat," Anya said.
"I wasn't going to turn him into anything," Willow said, but Anya wasn't listening.
"You could've made him a frog," she went on, "But people tend to stomp on spiders more frequently."
"Isn't my girlfriend great?" Xander asked, kissing the top of her head.
"I wouldn't normally curse anyone," Willow said innocently. But Riley's got this story about his aunt--"
"It's okay," Anya smiled. "I took care of a few of his uncles a century or so ago. He deserves whatever's coming to him."
Willow was going to ask that Anya spare her the details when Buffy rushed up to her, smiling.
"Tara is *so* great! She just cursed Riley and Graham into being honest. They're screwing right in the middle of the dance floor!"
"This I gotta see!" Anya said and she took off, pulling Xander with her.
"Bring on the gay love!" Willow cheered, hurrying off to catch the show live and in person. The version she knew would be on the Internet by morning just wouldn't be as fun.
*****
"How does it feel to be single again?" Willow asked. She and Buffy were sitting on Willow's bed, eating ice cream and watching Pretty In Pink.
"Free!" Buffy ate a big spoonful, swallowed and said, "I feel so....free. That's the best word for it."
"You gonna wait awhile before dating again?" Willow asked.
"Nope. Nuh-uh. No way. No more dating for me. I am a one-vampire-woman."
Willow smiled. "Took ya long enough."