TITLE: Because You Loved Me
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: This is what we at the Writer's Council call a smutlet. It's Buffy and Angelus. Pure and simple.
SPOILER: Passion
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-MA
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does. If he ever decides to give them to me, that would be nice. =)



For all those times you stood by me

For every truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For every wrong that you made right

I'm everything I am because you loved me

-- 'Because You Loved Me' -- Celine Dion --


"I'm going to kill him."

The words kept echoing in my head. Sure, I'd said it to Willow and to Giles and to Miss Calendar's headstone, but I couldn't say it to myself.

I couldn't say it out loud when I was all alone.

I knew I couldn't do it.


*****


She's doing it again.

Pacing idly in front of her window, it's almost like an open invitation. Like she's asking me to climb into her room and rip her clothes off and fuck her senseless.

And believe me when I say, I want to.

I doubt I'll ever do it. For one thing, she's so in love with Angel, or the idea of Angel, that she'll never accept me for who I am. I really hate when a girl tries to mold a guy to her liking; that was a problem Darla and I had years ago.

And for the other, she's always so damn wrapped up in being perfect that she'd probably stake me before I could even get off on the whole incident. Stupid bitch.


*****


I can sense him outside my window. He doesn't have to climb up, or even let me see him for me to know he's there. I can feel it. My body is tensing and my head is wracked with so many thoughts of torture that I'm not sure which I want. Do I want to chain him to my bed, or be chained to his?

My GOD I didn't just think that. God, Giles would kill me. He can never know.

They can say what they want to about Angelus, Angel, whoever he is, but I know underneath the terrible demon is the man I love. The man he was born as, the man he died as.

The man my body aches for at all hours of the night.

I can still sense him even though it's been hours, even though the sun is minutes away from rising. I can't help but wonder where he'll hide. My garage? The car Daddy gave me that Mom refuses to let me drive? The basement?

There are so many places.

Whichever one he winds up locked inside, I wanna be there too.

God, I can't believe I just....

He's coming up.

My GOD he's coming up.

Thank God Mom's away on business.


*****


She's so tight. Such a pathetic virgin. It was easy enough to get her to go down on me though. I never expected it from such a princess, but the Slayer gives good head. Among other things. I She keeps grabbing at my ass, trying to push me deeper, but every time I thrust she pulls back and starts to sob. They could be tears of joy, but regardless, it's distracting me and ruining my performance.

I grab her arms and tie them against her headboard with one of her tank tops. She seems to like this and grins at me. Hmm, so she's into that shit too. How the hell do I wind up with all these nuts? Darla, Drusilla, now Buffy? And speaking of my legacy, look at the names I attract. Never a Kathleen or a Sarah. I should look for a Betty. Or maybe a Carrie. That would be interesting.

Ahhh, that's better. Without her hands she has a harder time pushing me away. I push her legs back around my waist where they were and plunge into her as I bite at her nipples. She throws her head back and screams what I'm going to assume is in pleasure as I begin to drink from her. She didn't expect me to screw and not have at least a sip, did she?

"Angel..." she muttered under her breath.

I grabbed her head, forcing her to face me, fangs bared, blood dripping from them. My eyes were raging at her. "What did you call me?"

"Angel," she said almost sweetly.

I slap her and she grins at me. I do it again and she grins harder.

I lean in to her neck. "Say my name or I'll kill you, so help me, I'll do it."

"You don't have the guts," she said in a breathless voice.


Realizing that we were still otherwise....attached to each other, I finished her off with a few hard thrusts and pulled out. I repositioned myself on top of her and pushed all her hair aside, running the tips of my fangs against her soft flesh. "I never ask twice."

"Don't bother. I'm not afraid of you." she was breathing heavily, her breasts bobbing up and down with each breath, and her forehead was covered in beads of sweat. I leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose before leaning in for a drink. When she was almost drained, I moved my mouth to hers and kissed her, forcing her to drink my blood. I untied her and she got up off the bed and went over to her closet. A moment later, she returned in black leather pants and a black tank top. "I always wanted to be like you." she said as she showed off her fangs. She stood in front of her mirror and cussed. "I wanna see."

"Sorry babe, won't happen."

She stuck her tongue out at me and then pounced on my chest. "What's the first order of business?"

I ran a hand through her hair and touched her lips with my thumb. "First, we kill that little rodent Xander--"

"Oh no, let's kill Willow first. Make Xander watch. Then we'll make him like us and he can take care of that bitch Cordelia."

"Retract the fangs dear." I pulled her closer.

"You know," she said, licking my neck, then my chest. "I'm everything I am because of you."

I only grinned at her before we made our way to the basement to hide from the sunlight that would prevent us from enjoying a quick snack before bedtime.