Part Four--Where's the Love?
Serena's family decided that since it had been Sammy that gave Malachite amnesia, they would take care of him until he figured out who he was or someone came and claimed him.
"I feel like a lost puppy," Malachite said.
"Calm down, Wintergreen Head. We put an ad in the paper," Serena said.
"Would you stop calling me that!?!?" Malachite shouted.
"Well, what should I call you?" Serena asked.
"Uh..."
"Hold on, I'll go get you a baby name book." Serena ran up the stairs. Just then someone knocked on the door. Malachite went to answer it, and it was Mina and Ami.
"Is Serena here?" Mina asked.
"She's upstairs," Malachite replied.
"How are you doing?" Ami asked.
"I guess I'm all right...but I still can't remember anything."
"Hey Serena! We're here!" Lita yelled. "And I brought some homemade cookies!" She and Rei had come to the door.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Serena said, running down to meet them. "Here." She gave Malachite the book, and he began to flip through while the girls munched on Lita's cookies.
"It's so nice to have a get together without Rini," Serena said with a mouthful. The other girls agreed.
"Rini...she's the little, pink-haired one, right?" Malachite asked.
"That's right," Mina said.
"You all can start calling me Mike," Malachite said, putting down the book.
"Why Mike?" Serena asked.
"I just like the way it sounds, I guess."
Zoisite finally did cry herself out, and after staying up worrying half the night, she fell asleep.
"Malachite?" she asked in her dream
"I'm not Malachite, but the courageous soul of Malachite..."
"Where are you?"
"I don't know these people. I don't know where I am....but you have to find me, Zoisite. It is your destiny..." He began fading.
"Malachite, don't go...you can't go, you can't!"
"The force will be with you...always." She could still see his eyes glowing long after Malachite had faded.
Zoisite woke up and began wailing again, much to the dismay of the remaining generals, and they all got very little sleep that night.
"We have a new evil plan, Mellotron!" Mel B told her leader. "Listen. A one two three four!"
"Candlelight and soul forever, dream of you and me together, say you believe it, say you believe it!" the Spice Girls sang. Their voices were seeping with evil energy.
"It's wonderful! What does it do?"
"Everyone who buys the song or even listens to it will unknowingly give their power to us!" explained Geri. "It's get so much airplay, there'll be no one who can stop us when we take over the world!" They began their evil cackling.
"You make us so proud," Mellotron said, sniffing back tears.
"And when the world is ours, we'll make everyone our slaves! We'll even make them LISTEN TO OUR MUSIC!" Emma yelled. More evil cackling.
"A plan like that is so great to make a supervillain weep."
"Now, let's get the first printing on the shelves. Before you know it, the world will dance to our tune!" shouted Victoria. With that, they went to put their evil plan into action.
"Serena, may I turn on your radio?" asked Lita.
"Go ahead," Serena replied. Lita went to turn it on. A song was fading out.
"That was...yawn...the new one from the Spice Girls, Two become..." the DJ sounded like he wanted a nap. He couldn't even finish the name of the song before he started snoring. Even the Sailors and Malachite felt a little drowsy all of a sudden.
"That's awfully strange," yawned Ami.
"The name 'Spice girls' sounds awfully familiar," Rei said skeptically.
"Oh yeah, they're really popular. They even have nicknames for them like Posh Spice, Ginger Spice, Sporty Spice..." They all looked at each other and gasped.
"The Spice Scouts!" they said as one.
"Huh?" Malachite asked.
"So, what makes you want to work here?" asked a guy whose nametag said "Steve."
"To make money," Jadeite replied honestly. He was applying for a job selling popcorn at the movie theater.
"Uhh...for former occupation, you've listed Negaverse General. Is this some type of military position?"
"Yes."
"Well, Jed, we'll call you back later this week and tell you if you've got that job."
"Thanks, Steve." Jadeite left the theater. "Loooser," he whistled, walking into the parking lot. He began to whistle the theme to Bewitched. He started to really get into it, and was swaying and snapping his fingers when he ran into the cutest girl he'd ever seen. She was holding a white cat and giggling.
"Uh...sorry...getting a little carried away," Jadeite said, blushing.
"No, you're a good dancer," she replied.
"You think so? Really?"
"Sure. I love Bewitched." She left, running to catch up with her friend, her blond hair sweeping around her. Jadeite started to melt.
"What took you so long back there?" Lita asked. Lita and Mina had walked to the mall, because there was a big Spice Girls sale that they wanted to check out for Nega-energy.
"Him." Mina pointed to Jadeite.
"Ooh, he's dreamy," Lita said.
"I know..." Mina drifted off.
"He looks just--"
"Don't say it."
"Like my sister's old boyfriend. What'd you think I was gonna say?" Lita asked innocently, and Mina got a sweatdrop.
"I think Mina's been bitten by the love bug," Artemis said.
"Don't be silly, Artemis," Mina said. "How can a car bite anyone?" She got weird looks from both Lita and Artemis. "Herbie the Love bug. Duh..."
Now it was Lita and Artemis's turn to get sweatdrops.
Nephlyte was already starting to get sick of the situation. With Malachite missing, Zoisite doing nothing but drinking Avalon Spring Water and crying, and Jadeite gone to some mysterious end, he began to wonder if he was the only sane one around. Plus, having to take care of Klausite was like adding insult to injury. Not only did he have no time to see Molly, he had to spend most of his time with a guy who, to put it bluntly, had a crush on him.
"Okay, when I put this symbol on something, it...Klausite, are you even listening?" Nephlyte was trying to teach Klausite something about the Negaverse, but Klausite was only gazing at him with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"Of course I'm listening! I love the way you talk. It's so..." Klausite began giggling. Nephlyte groaned. He grabbed Klausite by the arm. "Ooh. He touched me..." Klausite started.
"C'mon! We're gonna go do something evil!" Nephlyte yelled, and the two disappeared.
Zoisite realized that Malachite's cape was nearly soaked through with her tears, and was struck with a sudden sense of duty. She stood up, the sodden cape swirling around her. "I can't sit around any longer!" she shouted. "I'm not going to just wait for Malachite to come back! He may be in trouble, and it's up to me to save him!" she began to do Sailor-Moon-ish poses. "We may've fought, but he's still the best friend I've ever had and I love him! I'm not going to stand idle while he's hurting! And when I find him, I'm going to save him, and we're never going to fight again! True love will prevail! I won't stop until Malachite and I are together again!" She was about to stride out of the door, when she realized she might need a disguise. Good thing Malachite left most of his uniforms. As she buttoned the shirt up, she noticed something.
"So that's why he always wears the top fastener undone. It fell off! The DiC editors aren't going to like this..." Another fastener appeared on the top, and she closed it, then looked over herself. Malachite's clothes were a little baggy on her, but okay. His boots were too big, but the uniform didn't look too bad with a pair of her own. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and frowned. Even with a new dry cape, she looked like Zoisite in Malachite's clothes. What else could she do?
It hurt terribly to do it, but she pulled the ponytail holder out of her hair. She'd never gone without it since she was a little kid. Desperate times called for desperate measures. She ran a brush through her hair a couple times, then took a last look in the mirror.
Satisfied with her disguise, she strode out the door and teleported to earth.
Serena was delighted to learn that, though Mike didn't remember who he was, he did know how to drive. She asked him to take Ami, Rei, and herself to the mall. He agreed, glad for something to break the monotony. He wanted to buy something to wear other than the clothes he'd borrowed from Serena's dad.
In the car, Rei and Serena sat in the back, giggling about how cool it was to get a ride from a hot guy like Mike, while Ami sat next to Mike, making polite conversation about something Serena couldn't even pretend to understand. From what Mike was saying, he wasn't getting much out of the conversation either...
They entered the mall together, walking towards where they planned to meet Mina and Lita.
"Hey, Mike, look! You're a trendsetter!" Serena said, pointing to a girl in a cape just like the one Malachite had been wearing yesterday. Serena was about to toss a penny into the fountain, but she dropped it on the floor, and it rolled away.
"I'll get it," Malachite said.
Zoisite swirled around. She could've sworn she'd heard his voice! But the only people on the other side of the fountain were a couple girls tossing in pennies. She must be so worried she was hearing things!
Malachite got off his hands and knees just as Zoisite turned back around and walked away.
"Thanks, Mike," Serena said.
"Look, it's Mina and Lita!" Rei said.
"Sorry we're late, we ran into a really cute guy at the movie theater!" Lita said.
"Yeah, literally!" Mina added.
"That's nothing! We got one to drive us here," Serena said proudly.
"Oh! Hi, Mike!" Lita said.
"I'm going to go look at those magazines over there. Is there any time you want me to take you home?" Malachite asked.
"Um...how about two hours from now?" suggested Rei. The girls nodded.
"Great! See you then!" Malachite said, rather Andrew-ish-ly. He walked over to a magazine rack and began flipping through a music magazine. Most of the pages were devoted to those Spice Girls. In fact, even the sports magazines were centered around those people. You kind of had to wonder when there were girls playing football in skimpy clothes and platforms. Though he couldn't help but stare...not because he thought they were pretty, but he was under their spell. He shook himself out of it as he heard crashing coming from the music store.
"These CDs are evil!" cried a voice that sounded vaguely familiar. "On behalf of the moon, I will destroy them!" Hadn't Serena said something about visiting the CD store? He'd better make sure she was okay.
"What does she mean, they're evil? I haven't touched them!" Nephlyte murmured. "Have you actually done something right for a change and made something evil?"
"Me? No way! I haven't taken my eyes off you all morning," Klausite replied.
"I can believe that. Well, Klausite, here's your test. There are the Sailor Scouts. Can you think of a plan to defeat them?" Nephlyte asked.
"Oh, Neffy, I'm scared! I think I'm going to wet my..." Klausite blushed. "Too late."
"That's it. Watch the expert at work." He entered the music store. "Sailor Scouts! I am Nephlyte, and I will--"
"Maxfield! I haven't seen you in, like, forever!" Molly cried. Nephlyte got a sweatdrop and started to laugh nervously.
"Uh, Molly, can't you see I'm a little busy at the moment?" he said.
"Too busy to say so much as a word to me for the last week? Now that I've found you, you're not getting away without an explanation!"
"Things have been tough at work. I've had to train the new guy, and a couple of the other guys have been gone so I'm getting their work too..."
"Then I think you need a break, Maxfield! Let's go to the food court and get a chocolate parfait." Molly literally dragged him away.
Klausite, embarrassed at wetting his skirt, decided it was time to return to Queen Beryl, and for once the Sailor Scouts didn't have to fight anyone to destroy the CDs.
But there were plenty of other stores across the world, and the Sailors couldn't hit all of them...
