Part Five--Just a Girl
"Hi, is Jed there?" asked a voice on the phone.
"Speaking," Jadeite replied, putting his TV dinner in the microwave. He rather liked his new apartment.
"Well, this is Steve, and you got the job!"
"Great! When do I start?"
"Tomorrow, from one to six. Can you make it?"
"Yeah, I'll be there!" Jadeite hung up. Yes, he finally had a job, an apartment, and a bathroom all to himself. Things were looking good.
Then the doorbell rang, and it was Nephlyte.
"Want a roommate?" he asked. Jadeite stared at him, and Nephlyte started to make sad puppy-dog faces. "I don't eat much...I'll sleep on the couch and do your laundry and I won't be any bother at all..."
Jadeite couldn't really say no, could he? He'd miss having his own bathroom, yeah, but he needed someone to gush about how pretty that girl he ran into was...
All alone in his room, Klausite began practicing threats as Beryl had told him to. "If you come one step closer, I will PERSONALLY shave your eyeballs!" he punched one of those weighted things you punch and it comes back that had a big yellow happy face on it. "DIE! Diediediediedie!" He got a pin out of his hair and popped the happy face, then laughed evilly. "Now that I've defeated this punching bag, I can go and scope out cute guys!" Klausite teleported to earth, next to the mall he and Nephlyte had been in a couple days ago. There was a big poster for the new Leo DiCaprio movie, and Klaus was drawn to the theater like a moth to a lightbulb.
"No, not him..." Jadeite groaned as he saw Klaus walk into the theater. His nametag said Jed. A little kid walked up to the counter.
"I want a small popcorn please," he lisped.
"That'll be...uh..." Jadeite looked up at the prices. "Two fifty."
"Isn't that a lot for such a little popcorn?" the kid asked.
"Yeah, you're right. You can have it for a dollar."
The kid's eyes lit up. "Really?" he said.
"Sure, why not?" Jadeite handed him the popcorn.
"Hey, Mina! The new Leo DiCaprio movie comes out today!" Lita said.
"Oh, he's so dreamy, I bet he looks just like your old boyfriend!" Mina replied.
"Even hotter! That's why I've got tickets!"
"All right!" They rode their bikes down to the theater.
"Look at him," Lita said, pointing to Klaus and giggling. Both girls giggled as they rode by, then locked their bikes. They went inside the first door, just behind the guy they'd been giggling at. "Hey! That cute guy you ran into works here!"
"Really?" Then Mina saw him. She slammed open the second door, squashing Klaus against the wall. She ran towards the popcorn stand, where Jadeite was whistling the theme to "I Dream of Jeannie." She leaned on the counter and stared.
"That's my favorite show, y'know," she said.
"Really? I thought I was the only one who liked it!"
"No way! Jeannie's the best! I can't believe you don't know anyone who likes it! She had such nice hair..." Mina trailed off.
"Yours is even nicer," Jadeite replied shyly.
"Thanks," Mina replied. Lita groaned.
"Can't I buy some candy here?" she asked.
"Oh! Uh, sure. Okay. What kind do you want?"
"Skittles."
"That'll be fifty cents."
Lita's jaw dropped. "But the board says they're two dollars!"
"Don't you think that's a little steep?" Jadeite wondered.
"Yeah, but..."
"Here you go." He turned back to Mina. "What kind of candy would you like, beautiful?"
"My name's Mina, and I'd like some M&Ms, if that's okay."
"That's just great." Jadeite handed her a bag.
Lita tried to drag Mina away. "We're going to miss the movie..."
"Uh...Mina? Would you like to go out sometime? Maybe catch a movie?" asked Jadeite.
"Sure, Jed, I'd love to! When?"
Jadeite vaulted over the counter. "How about now?" he said, taking her hand.
Lita couldn't take it any more. "You can't just abandon the popcorn stand!"
"I'd do anything for Mina..." Jadeite replied dreamily.
"That's it." Lita went into the actual theater and left the lovebirds to get there themselves. They sat a few rows ahead of her, and Jadeite had his arm around Mina for the whole movie. It would've been cute if it hadn't been so annoying!
"Rini, um, you're cutting off my circulation!" Darien cried, shaking his arm, which Rini was clinging to.
"I'm never letting you go, Darien! You're MINE!!" She hugged even tighter. Darien's arm was purple.
"Rini, let go!" Darien used his other hand to try to pry her off. "If you squeeze any tighter, my hand will fall off!"
"Well, at least I'll have a part of you!" Rini cried. Serena walked in.
"Rini, get off of Darien right now!!" she yelled, grabbing Darien's other arm.
"Oh, great," Darien muttered. Luna came in through the window and saw the three.
"Serena, Rini, would you leave Darien alone!" she yelled. Rini let go, dropping to the floor. "Now, Serena." Serena slowly dropped Darien's arm. Darien panted as his arms slowly regained their color.
"Luna, can I use my scepter on Rini?" Serena asked.
"Most certainly not! Remember, she is your future daughter."
"Then why is the little brat trying to STEAL MY DARIEN?!?!?" Serena demanded.
"Your Darien? HE'S MY DARIEN!!" Rini yelled. Luna got a sweatdrop.
"I see what you mean. Go ahead and use the scepter . . . but only make her disappear for a little while!"
"Disappear? I'll never disappear. In fact, it's not even my fault I'm he---" Rini disappeared and Darien let out a whoop of joy.
"Now we can have some time alone . . bye Luna!" Serena shoved Luna out the window.
"SUGGESTIVE LINE! CUT!!" the DiC editors yelled. Before you could say "Liverwurst", all of Serena's "friends" were in the room also.
"Liverwu---Yep, you're right," Serena said. She swore and was struck by DiC lightning. Her pigtails were frizzed, but nothing a little Anti-Frizz couldn't fix.
"Your eyes are like a beautiful daytime sky, Mina," Jadeite was saying. Lita was looking very grumpy, and Ami was wondering what happened to her English book. Raye was yelling at Chad for no particular reason, other than just to yell at him. Serena got a sweatdrop. This was gonna be a looooooong day.
Zoisite was wandering. She didn't know where she was going, where she'd been. How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? Or even a woman with a slight case of pregnancy. The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind. A paper smacked Zoisite in the face.
"OH! The arcade!" She dashed around the corner to a building with a sign that read "Arcade". "This must be the place." She wandered around, and was tempted to play the latest Sailor V game, but passes, remembering her mission. Suddenly, she bumped into a blond man in an apron.
"Can I help you?" he asked. She asked him if he'd seen Malachite, giving a description.
"About yay high, minty green hair, glowing eyes, wears an outfit somewhat like this."
"Well, Serena brought a guy with green hair--Serena's a girl I know--in here a few hours ago, and he begged me for free tokens. Didn't give them to him, of course. I hate it when customers do that. Well, is that all--hey, where'd she go?" Zoisite was bolting down the street. Then she stopped.
"Who's Serena? That name sounds so familiar . . ." she searched her memory, but nothing clicked. "Could that be . . . Nephlyte's girlfriend's friend? With the ridiculous hairstyle?" It sounded right, but she'd better find out. Now where was Nephlyte when you needed him?
"My friend Melvin let me borrow this," Molly told Nephlyte. She handed him a CD.
"Melvin listens to the Smashing Pumpkins?" Nephlyte said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah! He wouldn't even let me borrow his Metallica. Where's your CD player?"
"It's in Jadeite's room." Nephlyte hadn't meant to invite Molly over. It was just they had been out seeing a movie and Molly wanted to see his new place. Then they'd started listening to CDs and eating ice cream, and now it was almost time for Jadeite to get home.
They'd just started listening when there was somebody pounding on the door. Nephlyte went to get it, and was shocked to see someone wearing Malachite's uniform.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"It's Zoisite. Remember? Oh, the hair." She held it back with her hand. "Now do you remember?"
"Zoisite! Didn't recognize you without the ponytail. Why are you wearing Malachite's uniform? It's awfully big on you..."
"Oh, shut up, Nephlyte. Molly! You're here! Good! Where's Serena?"
"I don't know! At home with that guy she met, I think..."
"What guy?" demanded Zoisite.
"Mike, the one with green hair and amnesia."
"Mike?" Zoisite's face fell. Then Jadeite came in.
"You look mighty happy. What's up?" Nephlyte asked.
"I got fired!" he said happily. This gave Molly, Nephlyte, and Zoisite Sweatdrops.
"Huh?" said Nephlyte.
"I saw that girl again and her name is Mina and we went out to a movie together and she's so nice and sweet and beautiful and smart and--"
"And we get the point," Zoisite said. "Now, Molly, are you sure his name is Mike?"
"It sure sounded like Mike, though I could be mistaken..."
"Where does Serena live?"
"Hold on and I'll give her your address."
"Hey, Zoisite, why the sudden interest in Serena? I know Malachite's bi, but--" began Jadeite.
"She might know where my Malachite is," Zoisite snapped.
"She's Sailor Moon, y'know," Jadeite said innocently.
"Then why didn't you tell me before!?!?" yelled Zoisite.
"I tried to, but nobody listened!" Jadeite stuck out his tongue. "And Raye's Sailor Mars, and Ami's Sailor Mercury...and Mina...is the most beautiful girl in the world..." Jadeite drifted off dreamily. Nephlyte, Molly, and Zoisite all got sweatdrops.
"So, Klaus, why do you want this job?" Steve asked.
"I've always wanted to work in a movie theater..." Klausite replied dreamily. This Steve guy was hot, even hotter than Jadeite!
"All right. We really need a new popcorn guy, so we're going to have to ask you to start today. And our other guy's sick, so you're going to be working with me...if that's not a problem."
"No prob...Steve. I can't wait to start!"
Steve stared at the new guy. He was almost as cute as Jed had been, but this guy was almost flirting with him! No, he wouldn't loose Klaus the way he lost Jed. And maybe he'd gain a new boyfriend...
"We're ready to put our final part of the plan into action, Mellotron," Mel C said.
"We just can't wait to find out what it is," Mellotron replied eagerly.
"Spice Girls: The Movie. Opening in Theaters tomorrow. And when the Sailors come, we'll be ready for them!" Mel B said, cackling like a madwoman. She and the other Spice Scouts grabbed hands and danced in a circle.
"We're gonna beat up the Sailor Scouts, we're gonna beat up the Sailor Scouts!" they sang, horribly out of tune.
"Spice Power will prevail!" Geri yelled. The others cheered. Mellotron grinned an evil grin.
"Those Sailors will never know what hit them when they come to the theater tomorrow!" He threw his head back and laughed like villains always do.
"NO!!! YOU CAN'T HURT MINA!" Jadeite screamed in his nightmare. Nephlyte turned over in his sleeping bag.
"He's doing it again," he murmured.
"Tell me about it," Zoisite replied from her sleeping bag, halfway across the room. "Is he always like this? Screaming in his sleep?"
"Yeah. You should be glad it's nightmares tonight. Last night it was good dreams," Nephlyte said.
"Good dreams? Whaddaya mean, good dreams?"
"I mean, like, really good dreams." He stared at her. "You know what I mean."
"NOOO!!! MINA, YOU CAN'T DIE! I WON'T LET YOU!!!"
"This won't do at all. I'm not getting my beauty rest." Zoisite pulled a pillow over her head.
"Better idea." Nephlyte left and came back.
"What'd you do, Nef?" asked Zoisite.
"Put a pillow over Jadeite's head."
"Oh. You are going to help me find Malachite tomorrow, right?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Mike was bashing his head against the refrigerator, trying to remember. It was just too hard not to know who he was...even if it did mean giving himself a headache. The rose, the Evian, the cape...what did it all mean?
"Hey, cape boy," Darien said mysteriously. "Is Serena here?"
Cape Boy...who was it that called me cape boy? "No, she's at the temple. D'you want to go there?"
Darien raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you having enough fun bashing your head against the refrigerator?"
"Don't worry, Darien, I've got plenty of time." They stared at each other.
"Serena's my girlfriend. We're going to be together forever, and you can't change it. Nah-nah nah-nah-nah."
"She's all yours, Darien. But if something happens to her, her parents are gonna blame me. I'm going with you to the temple."
"I can take care of Serena!" Darien yelled.
"I'M GOING TO THE TEMPLE!!!!"
Darien got a sweatdrop and shrugged. "All right."
Already at the temple were Serena, Mina, Lita, Ami, Raye, Rini, Luna, and Artemis. Rini had appeared a few moments ago, much changed. She was actually accepting her parentage.
"Mommy?" she asked sweetly. "Where do babies come from?" Serena got a sweatdrop.
"How much longer is this going to take?" Mina asked. "I promised I'd meet Jed at the theater--soon!"
"Look at this, Serena!" Ami said, opening the newspaper. "The Spice Girls made a movie!"
"Oh, man. We've gotta stop them!"
"You're going to the theater, Mina?" Chad asked. "I bet Raye and I could go see a movie."
"Yeah! And I could go with Darien and Ami could go with Greg!" Serena said cheerfully. "And while we were there, we could check out what the Spice Girls were up to!"
"Oh, dear. Here we go again..." Luna began.
"What about me?" asked Lita. "I'm not going to go alone!"
"You can go with Mike!"
"Did I hear my name?" Malachite walked in with Darien.
"Yeah! We were all going to go see a movie, and we wanted you to come along!"
"Ooh, Mommy, can I come? Pretty please with sugar on top?" Rini begged.
Darien noticed something. Rini hadn't attached herself to his arm or tried to get him to kiss her. What the heck was going on?
"Yes, Rini, you can come." Serena walked up to Darien.
"What happened?" Darien asked.
"The DiC people got wind of her trying to hit on her father. Of course they intervened. Wanna go see a movie with us all?"
"Sure!"
Zoisite rang Serena's doorbell. Her mother answered.
"Hi," Zoisite said. "I was looking for Serena."
"I'm sorry! She just went down to the temple. Do you want me to tell her you were here?"
"That's okay, I'll go meet her there. Thank you!" Zoisite said with forced cheerfulness. She got back in the car with Nephlyte. "To the temple," she said.
"Okay," Nephlyte replied, and began humming the Monkeys theme song.
"What, is Jadeite rubbing off on you?" Zoisite asked irritably. "Can't you drive any faster?" Nephlyte smiled. She was becoming the Zoisite he knew again.
"We're almost there," was all he said.
"Malachite in the hands of Sailor Moon? I sure hope he's okay." They were about to pull into the parking lot when they saw the distinctive mint green hair of Malachite, as he was getting into a car with Serena and a bunch of other people. "THAT'S HIM!!! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH HIM!?!?" She jumped out of the car. "MALACHITE! MALACHITE, IT'S ME!!!"
"It's no use! They can't hear you," Nephlyte said, sticking his head out the window.
Zoisite got back into the car. "Follow that car," she ordered him. Nephlyte raised an eyebrow. Had she always been so bossy?
Then he had to hide a smile. Yes.
Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion, The End is the Beginning is the End!!!
