Hitomi was taken aback, confusion swimming in her wide forest-green eyes. He had just proposed to her. The roof of the castle was bathed in double moonlight. Everything seemed surreal, glowing with a mysterious light, and the warm air was thick with sweet aroma of flowers in the garden. The night, the words, the man in front of her seemed like a fragment of a beautiful dream. And yet, something wasn't right. Of course, he just told her he had a son – but what did it matter if she really loved him! If… The word echoed in her mind, taunting, growing fainter.
Her eyes traveled up his slender figure, his neck, his face, looking for something, she did not know what... until she found it. His eyes. In the shadows, they weren't radiant sky color, but dull blue and weary. Or maybe that's what they looked like all along, she just never noticed. She searched them for a response, a sign. The deep blue was soft, kind and unreadable. But the answer was clear.
"No." - She breathed out and watched his brows knit in a frown. For one brief moment, an expression of hurt and bewilderment gave way to anger, and then his face was unreadable again. Hitomi blinked, unsure of what she just saw. Her hand shakily reached for his cheek, but he caught it in mid air, holding her by the wrist.
"I love you, Hitomi." His voice was low and rough, not fervent with passion, but rather with frustration and fear.
"Do you?" She whispered, tears she's been trying to hold back now streaming freely from her shining eyes. "I don't believe you."
She broke out of his grip and ran down the stone stairs, sobbing and shaky.
**********
Why? Why was this happening to him? Always, the people dear to him got hurt, and it was all his fault. He couldn't make Hitomi happy. He couldn't protect his sister, he couldn't console his mother, and it was because of him that the King was in a hurry to send Marlene away, not waiting for her to choose her own husband. Marlene… The name, the memories, each one made his heart bleed all over again, and he treasured the pain, savoring it, living off of it. It's no wonder he couldn't love Hitomi they way she wanted him to. She deserved so much better, she was so kind, so gentle, so understanding.
Allen touched the harsh stone of the castle wall. It's coolness penetrated through the fine fabric of his gloves. That must be how he seemed to Hitomi – hard and cold under the soft exterior. He looked up, the Mystic moon unusually large in the dark emptiness of the sky. It's majestical light shone brightly, accentuating the sorrowful expression of his perfect profile, giving him a mournful ghost-like appearance.
In the sleeping city, the lights in the houses were rare and far apart. Something eerie seemed to be lurking in the shadows, of both surrounding land and of his own mind. Accusations, regrets, prayers never answered, monsters, both created by imagination or very real, missed opportunities, broken glass…
The realization reared it's ugly head, and he didn't even try to force it back down, wrap himself in the stuffy blanket of denial, but just accepted it apathetically. He's been trying to shield a small dancing flame from the shadows and harsh winds, and now it has gone out, because he suffocated it. They all died at some point, leaving him completely in the dark.
**********
Hitomi lay on her bed, face buried in the pillow. Memories… memories were funny things. Just a day ago these were her joy, neatly stored like pictures in a precious old photo album. Now they flashed by, leaving her with feelings of regret, disappointment and emptiness. She felt hurt, betrayed, even though she was the one who said no. She thought about what happened in the morning, when they had a fight; she relived the scene on the bridge, moment by moment. It didn't feel right even then. He did care about her – that she knew for certain, but it wasn't enough. He wasn't in love with her. Her heart, her pendant, her intuition, whatever it was – told her that, even though it seemed absurd. He asked her to marry him, for God's sake! Confusion. Her mind was a mess - thoughts, feelings, all tangled up.
She needed air. Putting her school uniform jacket on, she quietly closed the door behind her and disappeared in the dim corridor, lighted only by the faint glow of smoldering torches.
**********
Van was restless. The army would leave the capital at dawn… Time was running out. The night was especially black now, and they said the sky gets darker just before sun comes out. He had a bad feeling about the upcoming battle. It would take time to gather all alliance forces in the harbor, and in the meantime they were sitting ducks.
He polished, re-polished his sword, and inspected Escaflowne for the final time to occupy himself. It has already been loaded on the Crusade and made an impressive sight, seated on it's throne with royal air, as it befitted a guymelef of a king. Van glanced at Scherazade in the opposite corner of the big hangar. He wondered if it was some sort of family heirloom, it didn't look like the standard Asturian make. It was a good melef, better than most they used to have in Fanelia, but still nothing remarkable. Definitely no match for an Ispano make like Escaflowne. Van frowned. He's been beaten by this thing. No, beaten by it's pilot, and not only on the battlefield. In Allen's hands it was a deathly weapon, graceful and swift – not the adjectives normally used to describe guymelefs. But just wait and see. He will be better than anyone some day, he will live up to the title of Balgus' pupil.
Full of ambitions and hopes the boy-king left Crusade behind, hungrily inhaling humid night air as he walked up the empty road.
**********
The dew on the tall grass was cold against her bare legs, but Hitomi was oblivious it. It seemed her mind was tired of endless questions and went into some sort of frozen apathetic state. She curled up on the bench in the inner garden of the castle. The soft night spread it's winds all around her, and Hitomi longed to stay in the comforting numb darkness forever.
The soft crunching of the gravel on the path pulled her out of her trance. She shivered inside, afraid it was Allen and praying that it was him at the same time.
"Hitomi?" It wasn't his voice. Should she be glad or disappointed?
"Oh, Van… I heard you had to leave at dawn. What are you doing here? You should get some sleep.
"I'm not tired." Van lowered his raven head and studied the pebbles and dirt under his feet with immense concentration.
"Oh…" Hitomi looked away.
"What happened?"
"N-Nothing." She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't know what to say, because she was not sure what exactly had happened.
"You are lying." That was just like Van. Point out the obvious, no consideration. Hitomi sighed in annoyance.
"Allen… Allen asked me to marry him. And I said no."
Van quickly raised his head, searching her eyes rather eagerly. Hitomi had a bad feeling about this. Something flickered in his eyes.
"Hitomi… I have to tell you something. I – I've been meaning to tell you something but-but then… I saw… And I thought…" He trailed off, just staring at her with burning eyes, which looked garnet in the moonlight. All she could do was stare back. What was he saying?
What he did probably took him more courage than going up against all the Dragonslayers. Briskly crossing the short distance between them, he leaned in and kissed her, heatedly and clumsily.
But all Hitomi could think about was another man's kiss, gentle and soft, the cool rain on her skin and the sensation of the world falling away. His touch, his smell, his smile. Was it all an illusion?
High on the rooftop, a tall shadow turned away from the pair. It bowed it's head an slowly walked away, giving them their privacy.
First brilliant rays of sunlight caressed the eastern sky. The dawn came.
**********
A/N: I'm on very shaky ground here. Escaflowne's ending is perfect, rewriting it just proves how insane I am. Please support me by reviewing. Should I continue? If you have any ideas about redoing the ending so that it suits the idea of a different choice and fate better, please e-mail me vixy33@hotmail.com. Ja!
Her eyes traveled up his slender figure, his neck, his face, looking for something, she did not know what... until she found it. His eyes. In the shadows, they weren't radiant sky color, but dull blue and weary. Or maybe that's what they looked like all along, she just never noticed. She searched them for a response, a sign. The deep blue was soft, kind and unreadable. But the answer was clear.
"No." - She breathed out and watched his brows knit in a frown. For one brief moment, an expression of hurt and bewilderment gave way to anger, and then his face was unreadable again. Hitomi blinked, unsure of what she just saw. Her hand shakily reached for his cheek, but he caught it in mid air, holding her by the wrist.
"I love you, Hitomi." His voice was low and rough, not fervent with passion, but rather with frustration and fear.
"Do you?" She whispered, tears she's been trying to hold back now streaming freely from her shining eyes. "I don't believe you."
She broke out of his grip and ran down the stone stairs, sobbing and shaky.
Why? Why was this happening to him? Always, the people dear to him got hurt, and it was all his fault. He couldn't make Hitomi happy. He couldn't protect his sister, he couldn't console his mother, and it was because of him that the King was in a hurry to send Marlene away, not waiting for her to choose her own husband. Marlene… The name, the memories, each one made his heart bleed all over again, and he treasured the pain, savoring it, living off of it. It's no wonder he couldn't love Hitomi they way she wanted him to. She deserved so much better, she was so kind, so gentle, so understanding.
Allen touched the harsh stone of the castle wall. It's coolness penetrated through the fine fabric of his gloves. That must be how he seemed to Hitomi – hard and cold under the soft exterior. He looked up, the Mystic moon unusually large in the dark emptiness of the sky. It's majestical light shone brightly, accentuating the sorrowful expression of his perfect profile, giving him a mournful ghost-like appearance.
In the sleeping city, the lights in the houses were rare and far apart. Something eerie seemed to be lurking in the shadows, of both surrounding land and of his own mind. Accusations, regrets, prayers never answered, monsters, both created by imagination or very real, missed opportunities, broken glass…
The realization reared it's ugly head, and he didn't even try to force it back down, wrap himself in the stuffy blanket of denial, but just accepted it apathetically. He's been trying to shield a small dancing flame from the shadows and harsh winds, and now it has gone out, because he suffocated it. They all died at some point, leaving him completely in the dark.
Hitomi lay on her bed, face buried in the pillow. Memories… memories were funny things. Just a day ago these were her joy, neatly stored like pictures in a precious old photo album. Now they flashed by, leaving her with feelings of regret, disappointment and emptiness. She felt hurt, betrayed, even though she was the one who said no. She thought about what happened in the morning, when they had a fight; she relived the scene on the bridge, moment by moment. It didn't feel right even then. He did care about her – that she knew for certain, but it wasn't enough. He wasn't in love with her. Her heart, her pendant, her intuition, whatever it was – told her that, even though it seemed absurd. He asked her to marry him, for God's sake! Confusion. Her mind was a mess - thoughts, feelings, all tangled up.
She needed air. Putting her school uniform jacket on, she quietly closed the door behind her and disappeared in the dim corridor, lighted only by the faint glow of smoldering torches.
Van was restless. The army would leave the capital at dawn… Time was running out. The night was especially black now, and they said the sky gets darker just before sun comes out. He had a bad feeling about the upcoming battle. It would take time to gather all alliance forces in the harbor, and in the meantime they were sitting ducks.
He polished, re-polished his sword, and inspected Escaflowne for the final time to occupy himself. It has already been loaded on the Crusade and made an impressive sight, seated on it's throne with royal air, as it befitted a guymelef of a king. Van glanced at Scherazade in the opposite corner of the big hangar. He wondered if it was some sort of family heirloom, it didn't look like the standard Asturian make. It was a good melef, better than most they used to have in Fanelia, but still nothing remarkable. Definitely no match for an Ispano make like Escaflowne. Van frowned. He's been beaten by this thing. No, beaten by it's pilot, and not only on the battlefield. In Allen's hands it was a deathly weapon, graceful and swift – not the adjectives normally used to describe guymelefs. But just wait and see. He will be better than anyone some day, he will live up to the title of Balgus' pupil.
Full of ambitions and hopes the boy-king left Crusade behind, hungrily inhaling humid night air as he walked up the empty road.
The dew on the tall grass was cold against her bare legs, but Hitomi was oblivious it. It seemed her mind was tired of endless questions and went into some sort of frozen apathetic state. She curled up on the bench in the inner garden of the castle. The soft night spread it's winds all around her, and Hitomi longed to stay in the comforting numb darkness forever.
The soft crunching of the gravel on the path pulled her out of her trance. She shivered inside, afraid it was Allen and praying that it was him at the same time.
"Hitomi?" It wasn't his voice. Should she be glad or disappointed?
"Oh, Van… I heard you had to leave at dawn. What are you doing here? You should get some sleep.
"I'm not tired." Van lowered his raven head and studied the pebbles and dirt under his feet with immense concentration.
"Oh…" Hitomi looked away.
"What happened?"
"N-Nothing." She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't know what to say, because she was not sure what exactly had happened.
"You are lying." That was just like Van. Point out the obvious, no consideration. Hitomi sighed in annoyance.
"Allen… Allen asked me to marry him. And I said no."
Van quickly raised his head, searching her eyes rather eagerly. Hitomi had a bad feeling about this. Something flickered in his eyes.
"Hitomi… I have to tell you something. I – I've been meaning to tell you something but-but then… I saw… And I thought…" He trailed off, just staring at her with burning eyes, which looked garnet in the moonlight. All she could do was stare back. What was he saying?
What he did probably took him more courage than going up against all the Dragonslayers. Briskly crossing the short distance between them, he leaned in and kissed her, heatedly and clumsily.
But all Hitomi could think about was another man's kiss, gentle and soft, the cool rain on her skin and the sensation of the world falling away. His touch, his smell, his smile. Was it all an illusion?
High on the rooftop, a tall shadow turned away from the pair. It bowed it's head an slowly walked away, giving them their privacy.
First brilliant rays of sunlight caressed the eastern sky. The dawn came.
A/N: I'm on very shaky ground here. Escaflowne's ending is perfect, rewriting it just proves how insane I am. Please support me by reviewing. Should I continue? If you have any ideas about redoing the ending so that it suits the idea of a different choice and fate better, please e-mail me vixy33@hotmail.com. Ja!