Huge thanks to Remalna Margot, crisis, Mave, and especially Janice Reyes who wrote me a big and very encouraging e-mail. ^_^ This is for you people.
It was cold. Hitomi shivered and curled up into a ball, but something kept breaking through the sound black wall of sleep. She gave up and opened her eyes.
Her vision sharpened into focus. Right in front of her face, two concerned red eyes and a heap of midnight black hair was shaking violently.
Upon further inspection, Hitomi realised she was the one who was shaking, with the aid of young king's gloved hands on her shoulders.
"Vaaan, stop it"
He let her go and sat back down , on the edge of a big bed covered by a palanquin.
"How do you feel?"
"Hung over. What happened?"
"You collapsed. Millerna said you probably just fainted because of emotional exhaustion or something like that."
Fainted? Just great. She was always proud of being strong, but now she faints like an actress in a bad soap opera, and people have to pick her up like a bothersome hat that just won't stay on. Her mouth had a peculiar bitter taste in it.
Hitomi's train of thought screeched and came to a sudden stop. She gasped.
"Allen! How is he?"
Van's expression was unreadable.
"That's why I woke you up. He regained consciousness."
Throwing back thin covers, Hitomi swung her legs over the bed's edge.
The early morning's sunlight was pouring through a high window. It was half-opened, and the chirping of the birds was just one of the sounds that were knit together in nature's symphony, honouring a new day and new beginnings.
He appeared to be thinking, lying perfectly still, his smooth chiselled features illuminated by the sun. His chest rose and fell slowly.
"Allen, I'm glad you are okay..."
He saw her and smiled in a warm, rare way people only smile when they mean it. Millerna came into view out of nowhere and chirped in.
"It's a miracle, really. We inspected the darts, and the poison is one of the strongest known to man. It comes from the teeth of young dragons. Even a drop could kill a horse."
"I tried to suck the poison out of the wound." She could still taste his hot blood.
"Well, that would explain why you collapsed. It looks like you saved Allen though. He'll be fine in a couple of days." Millerna gave them both a grin.
"I owe you my life then." And she owed him hers. But for some reason, she didn't want to say they were even.
After a polite knock a handmaiden entered and performed an elegant courtesy.
"Lord Dryden didn't wish to disturb you and your patient, so he asked me give this to you."
She handed Millerna a small white envelope. Curiously, she tore it open, and a golden ring fell out, rolled on the floor with a jingle and came to a rest beside the bed.
Millerna stared at it in bewilderment and disbelief. She quickly unfolded a small piece of paper covered in Dryden's large, bold hand. When she was finished, her hand trembled, her legs gave away and she sat down.
"He left... He left me. " was all she said.
Allen lips pressed firmer together. Hitomi darted confused eyes between the two. What did this mean? Millerna's gloved hand crumpled the paper and squeezed it tightly in her delicate fist. She ran out of the room, pressing the paper against her chest. A very odd, familiar feeling came over Hitomi, like she has seen it before and yet she knew she has not.
A blonde woman with sad eyes writing something, tears smudging the paper. Marlene. A small, blond baby boy. On her dying bed, pressing a dark-skinned hand against her cheek. Duke Freid, caressing her pale, smiling face. Allen hunched over a letter, biting his lip. A trickle of blood mixed with tears running onto white paper. Ink, washing away, disappearing. Marlene. Marlene.
The images were gone. The lump in her throat choked, forcing hot tears out. Were those Allen's ? The firm line of his mouth. What was behind it? For the first time, she noticed a tiny white scar under the left corner of his lower lip.
"Do you miss her? Do you miss Marlene?" Her tone was soft, gentle and thoughtful. She just wanted to see it. See it in his eyes. It mattered more than anything. He didn't show any surprise, it seemed their minds were in tune.
"I would give my soul to have her back." It was all right there, in one word. Soul. She was his soul. And she took it, ripped it away from his body. The depth of his eyes scared her, the amount of his pain.
This moment was the ultimate intimacy, more so then one of a hottest passion, and the ultimate rejection.
"Were you happy then? With her?"
"Yes. The happiest I've been in my life."
"Well, maybe then it was worth it."
He looked at her, as if asking "How can it be possible?" Hitomi's eyes were full of sudden determination.
"I think it will always hurt when you give your whole heart to somebody. But the happiness you had, that time together, when you were being loved back, makes it all worth it. If you never love, it's like being dead. Without giving your all to somebody, you don't know what you have to give. You should carry both pain and happiness of those memories in your heart, but not be afraid to give it all up again. "
"Stop." His hand was covering his face.
Hitomi heard light footsteps behind her.
"Princess Eries?" The woman's expression was unreadable. Hitomi couldn't tell if she had heard any of their conversation. Eries appeared to be ignoring Hitomi.
"How are you feeling, Allen?" Any evidence of emotion was gone from his face now, and he looked only a little paler that usual. Hitomi mentally cursed Eries' timing.
"I'll be quite alright"
"So I've been told. I'll send someone to fetch a change of clothing for you." There was an artificial pause. "Although, the weather is lovely. I'll go myself. Hitomi, would you care to come with me?"
Hitomi looked at Allen, but he was studying the ceiling.
"Uh, sure."
Hitomi looked curiously at the woman walking in front of her. Eries' back was perfectly straight. She carried herself with silent dignity of real royalty. Hitomi wondered why she wasn't married, she would certainly make a good queen. Small pebbles crunched under her feet, and Hitomi kicked one with her worn running shoe.
"Leave him alone"
Hitomi was caught off-guard by the comment.
"Huh?"
"He still loves her and always will. There's nothing you can do." There was a new tone in her voice, the one Hitomi never heard the princess use. It was deepest tenderness and thorny bitterness, fused together. It all became clear.
"Princess Eries..."
The old mansion was surrounded by very big ancient oaks. Only in some spots the sun shone through the thick green canopy, immersing the surroundings in artificial twilight. Eries casually made her way to the small back door and briskly walked inside. Hitomi followed, surprised by her familiarity with the house.
It looked spartan, empty and sparsely furnished. In the big main room, the family crest was displayed on a blue background. It was the same crest Scherazade wore on it's cape. The whole atmosphere of the house was gloomy, silent, deserted. The family that was lived in it was no more. There was an old chair and a bird's perch. Hitomi remembered Natal and wondered where the pet owl was. Over the fireplace, a big, heavily framed painting caught her eye. It was in old European family portrait style, picturing a beautiful mother, hair pulled back, in a long frilly dress, a pubescent boy with golden hair, and a small rosy-cheeked girl. They all looked so happy, so serene. It contrasted with the now dark and empty room. Hitomi examined the smiling little girl closer. That must be Celena. Her open, broad blue eyes were staring right at the imaginary painter. To her left, Hitomi heard some barely audibly noise. She turned to look in that direction. The same sky-blue eyes stared back at her.