He Called Her Tessa
by
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Roswell and all associations do not belong to me!
Author's Note: This is my first try at Roswell fanfic, so if you criticize, please be polite. All feedback can be sent to teneljade@netzero.net, and thank you!
Author's Note 2: This last section contains spoilers for late season 2. Read at your own risk!
Rating: PG-13 this chapter.
Chapter Six
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyle nodded, a slightly puzzled expression on his face. "Sure. My dad's gone, we can talk here. What is it?"
Tess chewed her lower lip a little, and then decided to just spit it out. "Look Kyle... I haven't done... I haven't ever had... sex. I talk big, and I flirt big, but I've never actually gone all the way and... done it."
Kyle looked a little surprised. Tess suspected that he was more than a little, but covering nicely. "You know we don't have to do anything, right?" He asked.
Tess looked away. "Yeah, I know. But... I want to. But I'm... afraid. I'm scared, Kyle."
Kyle nodded. "Well, they say it's big deal for a girl to lose her virginity. Hell, I'm a guy, and it was hard enough for me." He pulled her against him. "Tell you what." He held up the box of condoms.
"We're all prepared, so we don't need to do anything about that. So... we'll just act normal, and if, someday, you want to take it up to the next level, you let me know. Okay?"
Tess nodded, and pushed herself against his side, snuggling in as close as she could get. "Thanks, Kyle."
Kyle rested his chin on the top of her head. "Anything for my Tessa."
Tess's heart warmed at both the use of his nickname for her, and the fact that he considered her 'his'. Rather chauvinistic of me, she thought. And then she smiled. The hell with chauvinistic! I like it.
The rest of the evening was spent in a tender kiss-and-cuddle session. The love was definitely there, but the fierce passion that fueled their extended make-out sessions had receded to a comfortable mutual respect and love.
When bedtime came, Tess was a little nervous, but Kyle seemed to know instinctively what to do, and simply ignored her discomfort. By the time the Sheriff came in to tuck them into bed, the alien teen was calm and relaxed, comfortable as always in the younger Valenti's protective embrace.
*****
The days passed quickly, and Tess made no further move. Kyle could often be found in a cold shower after their extended make-out and grope sessions, but he never complained.
One day, pretty soon after Christmas, Tess didn't stop him where she usually did. Instead, she allowed him to remove more and more clothing until they were nearly nude and fondling each other affectionately. Tess had a tendency to allow things to go in steps rather than leaps, so Kyle assumed this was where things would stop that night, and started to retire in the direction of the shower.
Tess put on her mock-surprise face. "Where are you going?" She asked, patting the bed beside her. She was lying on her side in her underwear, clothing strewn around the room, and Kyle was looking just a little... tense.
Kyle sighed. "Tessa, if we take this any further, there's no turning back. You know that."
Tess's face went serious. "I know. But I'm ready. And your body is willing enough... so, it's up to your mind."
Kyle didn't waste a second climbing back into bed beside the nearly-nude blond alien. "Are you sure?" He asked in a soft tone, his eyes betraying his love for her. She nodded, her certainty stamped all over her face.
He looked at the bedspread for a moment then. "Okay, then there's something you should know."
Tess waited patiently, and a little anxiously, wondering what he would divulge.
"I'm not just saying this in the heat of the moment. I really mean it, Tessa. You're my life, my inspiration and my dreams." He looked deep into her eyes for a long moment. "I love you, Tess."
Happy tears filled Tess's eyes, and she kissed him fervently. "I love you too, Kyle." She snapped the waistband of his boxers, a movement which made Kyle smile from the memory of first awakening to find her on his living room couch.
Tess wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, the sea-green pools sparkling. Still a little uncomfortable with human emotions at times, she wasn't particularly enjoying this sensation. It was overwhelming. Instead, she reached for the back of Kyle's head, and pulled him back down to her.
*****
The weeks turned into months, and Kyle and Tess grew even more comfortable with each other. The remaining six, which had sadly, shortly thereafter, shrunk to five, original members of the 'I know an alien club' got used to seeing them hand in hand, whispering in each other's ears, and laughing at private jokes.
Sheriff Valenti had said no more, but Kyle and Tess were constantly on the look-out for his eagle-eyed gaze, the one that signified they had done something wrong, accidentally crossed the invisible border. He often acted like a proud father, displaying his pride with Tess in a way she had never known, teaching her what fatherly love was like, and for that, she was more grateful that she could ever voice.
The day that Tess turned nineteen, they were both enrolled in the local community college, and shared an apartment, which they rarely occupied. The rest of the gang was distributed around the globe, studying various things in various places. Kyle was amazed at all that their lives had turned out as.
Liz had fulfilled her dreams and was off at an Ivy-league school, pushing herself as hard as she could, absorbing all the knowledge about molecular biology that she could. Max had been dragged along with her, and was studying to be pre-med. He wasn't sure if he would do it, because he was worried that he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to simply heal his patients, but he was going to make a valiant effort. He had said something about possibly going into research instead, that way, he wouldn't have to deal with the people directly.
Maria hadn't quite found her calling, but was at school with an undeclared major. Michael was studying to be a gourmet chef, and both could be counted on to bicker fiercely when brought within speaking distance, or even shouting distance, of each other. But when they weren't fighting, they could frequently be found curled up around each other, making sickeningly sweet displays of public affection, the kind that Michael had sworn never to participate in.
Isabel had, surprisingly, turned to the life that had once scared her so much. She could now be found at the FBI headquarters, training as hard as she could with the other recruits and trainees. As far as Kyle could tell, she was loving it. And, he figured, getting some satisfaction from the fact that she would have a job helping to prevent people from killing other people. She was voraciously hungry to bring murderers and such to justice after a death she still hadn't gotten over: Alex's.
Kyle had driven them out into the desert, letting the wind blow through their hair, the warm wind brushing their skin, which was flushed with the Indian summer heat. He pulled them to a halt in the middle of nowhere, jumping eagerly from the car, and dropping to the ground. After spreading a blanket on the ground and eating quietly together, he sprung his surprise.
Trembling a little, Kyle reached into his back pocket. He pulled from it a small ring box, and Tess knew what it was. Dreading the moments to come, she steeled herself, knowing that she was about to do what had to be done.
He opened it, and a glitteringly bright jewel stared up at her from a pristine, gleaming gold ring band. He allowed her to admire it for a moment, the took her hand, and asked the age-old question: "Tess Harding, will you marry me?"
Slowly, she looked up, tears dropping from her eyes, and equally slowly, she shook her head, curls rushing to cover her face from view.
Kyle drew back, his face shocked. "Why not?" He asked.
Tess shook the hair out of her face, and looked up at him, begging him silently to understand. "I can't."
"What do you mean, you can't? I thought that was over a long time ago."
"Kyle, the weight of the world could rest on my shoulders. If I am truly destined to be with Max, it may not be because I want to be, but because I have to. I can't make that much of an attachment... to someone else."
Kyle's face clearly reflected his confusion and growing anger in the silver moonlight. "Then you don't love me?"
Tess started to cry in earnest. "Oh, God, Kyle, yes I love you! I will never love anyone like I love you. But don't you understand? My choice, it could mean the lives of billions! I can't allow my own happiness to get in the way of their chance to live!"
Kyle nodded slowly. "Then why... why did you allow us to be together?" He asked.
Tess reached for him, but he shied away from her touch. "Because I love you, damn it! I'll do everything I can to be with you, Kyle, but I can't choose us above the world."
Kyle nodded. "I understand." He started packing their supplies, and wordlessly, Tess assisted him. They packed the car, and returned to Roswell at a stately pace.
Returning to their apartment, they performed their usual nighttime ritual, including snuggling up against one another, but the tenderness that they usually displayed with each other was lacking. Tess lay awake long into the night before she made up her mind, and crept slowly from the room.
*****
In the morning, Kyle awoke to find only a note. Tess and all of her belongings, plus the SUV, which was really hers, were gone. The note was detailed, and made her points quite clearly.
Dear Kyle, I can't do this. I can't trap you in a life where your desires come so close, but will never be truly fulfilled. I think I'm a good person, or at least, I'm trying to be, and I beg you to forgive me the pain I am sure I'm causing you now, but it will be better in the long run.
I will love you forever. But you can never have a normal life with me. Go out, have a family, some kids, a dog. Remember me, but remember also that what I did is for the best.
Don't try to find me. You should know better than anyone, how hard I am to find. If you ever need to find me for a real emergency, Max knows how to reach me. But he won't tell you unless I give him the okay, so don't bother trying.
Love always,
Tess-- I'll be your Tessa forever
*****
Five years later, Kyle Valenti fell out of a fifteenth story window and died instantly. Those who knew him called it a suicide. But the world would forever remember him as only some unimportant, luckless guy who fell out the low, open window of his office building.
Twenty-four year old Tess returned to the scene as fast as she could. The sheriff released the body to her, but after one look, she couldn't bear it. The man she had known had been so full of light and love, this dead statue looked nothing like Kyle Valenti to her.
She attended his funeral, and cried with the others. But inside, she was stone-hard, and felt almost nothing. She knew the numbness would break, and the emotions would come flooding in, but for now, she welcomed the frozen solitude in her head, her thoughts not yet clouded with feelings.
When all had left the gravesite, she crept to the freshly mounded dirt, and knelt, not caring that she was dirtying her favorite dress. She placed a hand on the cold, damp soil, shivering at the memory of touching Kyle's still body, which had felt all too much like the ground he was buried within.
She bent her head, and prayed. Prayed to a god, any god, to take his soul to a place where he would be safe, where he would spent eternity peacefully, perhaps even happily. She had never believed in a god before, but now, out of need to believe that her true love wasn't just rotting in the ground, she called upon whatever deity would listen.
"Please," she pleaded with the open air. "He was good man. Bright and young, and he helped me, and my friends, more than you can imagine. I owe my life to him, several times over. Keep him safe for me, please?"
She said the last note with a higher pitch, ending it as though a question. The hand on her shoulder startled her, and she turned to face the sad, but faithful eyes of Sheriff Valenti.
He opened his arms to her, and she fell in without question. Sobbing hard, she released her emotions, and her body shook for a long moment while she simply let it all go. He rubbed her back soothingly, allowing her to grieve as she wished, just being there for her.
*****
Tess Harding remembered those moments, not so very long ago, as she bravely stared her own death in the face. An alien, a hybrid, with powers beyond belief, and what was she to succumb to? Cancer. At the age of twenty-nine.
It had spread before she had thought to do anything about it, thinking herself invincible. Max and the others had tried to help, but their efforts were to no avail. Max had tried to explain, something about how cancer was the body destroying itself, and because of that, they could do nothing, but she hadn't really heard.
Instead, she had taken the time she had left to quietly the enjoy the earth, and now, she was ready to leave. Leave... and go to wherever Kyle was waiting for her. To a place, where, if nothing else, they could be together, and never have to worry about destiny again.
The faces of her close friends surrounded her, listening as she took a rasping breath from the ventilator, and then, simply allowed herself to give in. The faces swirled, and her lungs sung briefly with joy at not having to expand for another breath. Max and Isabel held her hands, and Isabel was crying. Tess took the last of her strength, and sent a message into Isabel's head.
Don't cry. I'm happy.
And then it all went dark.
THE END
Don't forget to read the epilogue!
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