Chapter 2: Another song fic set to Cledus T. Judds '(She's Got A Butt)
Bigger Than The Beatles.'
The warnings are the same as the first chapters. And hopefully you people all like this series. Anyways, now on to the second chapter...
Duo awoke with a sharp pain in his chest. His eyes flew open and he saw Haus standing on his stomache. "Daaaaaaaddyyyyyyy! The big fat guy with a red suit came and grew a tree in here!" Duo rubbed the sleep from his eyes and prodded at Heero with his finger. "Heeeeeeeroooo. Wake up! I can't handle this kid by myself." Heero just rolled over onto his side. "Heeeeeeeeeeee'ooooooooo!" Haus yelled. "Waaaaaaaake uuuuuuuup!" Haus jumped up and down on Heero repeatedly until he woke up. Instinctively Heero reached for his gun, but missed and his hand slid into Duos underwear. "AH! Uh, Er... Heero? Could you let go of that, please? You're squeezing just a bit too hard." Heero finally became aware of the world around him and realised where his hand was. He pulled his hand out of Duos underwear and attempted to stand up. He was unable to get up for some reason though. He forced his sleepy eyes to focus and saw Haus standing on him. Haus jumped off Heero and Heero stood up. Duo stretched and stood next to Heero. "An eye for an eye, eh, Heero?" He asked, grinning, as he shoved his hand into Heeros spandex underwear (Yup, even his underwear's spandex.). Heero stood there for a minute, unable to do anything, before Duo removed his hand. By then Quarter and Trowel had woken up. "That kid's probably gonna need therapy if he lives around you two much longer." Trowel commented. Duo thought for a moment and said "Oh, and I suppose those loud groaning sounds he hears coming from your room at night isn't gonna make him need any therapy." Quarter and Trowel blushed. Gufei walked into the room. "Oh, you're already awake. Too bad. And I had it all planned out, too..." Trowel stepped over to the tree and grabbed a very small box. "Well, I guess this wont get me the award for originality, but why not?" Duo looked at the box with curiosity. "So what's in there? Give it to Quarter, already! I wanna know what it is." Trowel shifted his weight to his right leg nervously and then replied "Well... Okay." Trowel handed the box to Quarter. Quarter unwrapped it and opened the box, revealing a ring. "Quarter, will you marry me?" Then there was a knock at the door.
//She cooks with lard, loves hot food bars.
A quart of sweet tea and fried pork skins.//
Heero moved to open the door, and then paused, wondering if it was HER again. He slowly turned the doorknob and then quickly yanked the door open. Reelina jumped across the threshhold into Heeros arms. "Oh, crap, it's you again!" Heero said, sighing. Haus ran over to Reelina and smiled up at her. "AAAAAWWWWW!!! He's so cute!" Reelina gushed. Haus kicked her broken leg and said "You stupid bitch! My daddy loves my... Other daddy, not you!" Reelina fell to the ground and winced, trying in vain not to scream. She managed not to let out a full scream, but whimpered instead. "He's not as cute as I thought..." She muttered under her breath. She stood up, but fell back down again and landed on Haus. "HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!! SHE'S SQUISHING ME!" Heero pulled Reelina off Haus and shoved her across the room where she stumbled and fell again.
//Cain't get enough, eats 'til she's stuffed
Goes to the bathroom and comes back again.//
Wufei smiled as Reelina fell on the floor. He grabbed his katana and sliced the cast right off of her leg, making it impossible for her to move without pain shooting up the entire length of her leg. Duo picked up a box from under the tree and gave it to Reelina. "Here, Ms. Pieceocrap. I got you something." Reelina, despite the pain in her leg, took the box with a "Thank you" and opened it. salt spilled out from the box and onto her wound. She yelped in pain and crawled out the front door. "She finally left. That was mean of you guys to do to her, but I guess she kinda deserved it... She just can't take a hint, can she?" Quarter remarked. He turned slightly to the left and saw Trowel standing there expectantly. Quarter suddenly remembered the ring in his hand and what Trowel had asked him. "Yes! Of course I will, Trowel!" Quarter said happily, wrapping his arms around his love.
A Few Hours Later.....
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Duo yelled happily, chasing Heero around the back yard in the go-cart Quarter had gotten for him. "Duo, stop that! Argh! Quarter, why'd you have to buy him that?!?" Trowel, Quarter and Wufei were sitting in the lawn chairs, watching Duo chase Heero. "Well, Duo seems to having fun, it's good entertainment for us, and, hey, you're finally getting chased by a good looking guy." Quarter replied. "Damn it!" Duo exclaimed, and pulled over by Quarter. "You got any gasoline for this thing, Quarter?" He asked hopefully. "Sorry, Duo. I don't have any." Duo got out of the go-cart and slumped down into an empty lawn chair. Duo was lost in thought for several minutes before saying "Wow, I never knew thought was such a big place. I barely got out. But now I have an idea!" Duo ran to the garage and soon returned with a can of gasoline. "Um... Duo? Where'd you get that, exactly?" Heero questioned him. "I, uh, kinda borrowed it from your gundam. I didn't think I'd mind. I thought you would mind, but I decided that as long as it was okay with me, I could do it." Heero ran up to Duo and pinched his ass. "OW! Hey, why'd you do that?" And then 'the bitch' returned...
//She thinks she looks just like
Madonna when she runs her greasy
fingers through her bleach blond hair//
Reelina approached Heero slowly, being careful when putting weight on her newly casted leg. "Get lost, Reelina." Heero said as he moved to knock her on the ground. Reelina pulled out a gun and aimed it right between Heeros eyes. "I don't think so." Heero laughed. "I'm not afraid of you, gun or no gun." Reelina aimed the gun at Duo. "Fine, then. I'll just keep the gun aimed at the competition, though he isn't any competition at all. I don't see why you like him." Heero had been getting ready to tackle her, but froze in his tracks when she aimed the gun at Duo. He sighed and asked what she wanted. "It's very simple. I just want you to go on one date with me. One date with me, and not only do I not shoot your boyfriend, but I'll also never bother you again." Heero hesitated, but looked at the gun, looked at Duo, and reluctantly agreed. "Fine. You win. I'll do it."
//Most times she'll place another order
and lordy have mercy on that little bitty chair.//
Later At The Waffle House.....
Reelina batted her eyelashes at Heero. She got no response and glared at him angily. "Heero! I just flirted with you! Do something!" Heero grinned mischievously. "Kay." He said, and profusely vomited. Reelinas face turned bright red in rage, and she was just about to yell at Heero when she farted. A man wearing a gas mask walked up to the table. "Ready to order, miss Reelina? Oh, I see you decided to bring a date." Decided to bring a date? She probably just sat on him until he agreed to come with her. Poor guy... Reelina smiled gleefully. "Heero can order first." Good idea. Once you've ordered, there wont be anything left for that poor boy. Heero placed his order, and the waiter turned back towards Reelina. "Will you be having the usual?" He asked her politely. "Yes, thank you." Heero asked him what 'the usual' was. "Well, you know how some people order pizzas with everything on them?" Heero nodded his head. "Well, for her, the usual is a plate with everything on it. Quite literally everything. Well, everything edible." He whispered.
//She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles,
eatin' me out of house and home.//
Reelina decided to bat her eyelashes at Heero again. Heero, though disgusted, somehow managed to appear as if she looked attractive to him. I can't believe it... I knew I loved Duo, but I had no idea ANYONE could possibly love anyone THIS much. After this, I'm following Trowels example and ask Duo to marry me. Reelina, looking very pleased, slid one of her feet out of her shoe and lifted it to Heeros leg. Oh, crap. It's a good thing I had all that training... I really need to be strong to get through this. Heero smiled, trying not to let her see how disgusted he was. Jeez... It would be bad enough if she were a fat, ugly guy. But noooo. She has to be female, too. The man from earlier came into the room and set Heeros food in front of him. Then a tractor came out of the kitchen carrying Reelinas food. If she wasn't a princess, she wouldn't be rich. If she wasn't rich, she wouldn't be able to pay for this. If she couldn't pay for it, she'd be thin. I really wish she was poor... At least then she'd only be ugly and female. Unfortunately that's all that could possibly be done to her. She can't suddenly become good looking, and she can't just decide to be male. Hmmm... I've got an idea!" Heero slipped a pill into one of Reelinas waffles, and watched as she tore into her food. He quickly turned away and focused on the plate before him.
//Her booty size, well it oughta be illegal,
she has a hard time sittin' on the throne.//
I wonder if that pill will work. It guarantees that it'll make you lose 200 pounds in 5 minutes or less, or your money back. I doubt 200 pounds will be enough to help her, though... About five minutes later, she looked like she had lost about 200 pounds. Cool... Only 2000 to go, and moby dick will be normal sized. Hmmm... Moby dick. If she had one, this wouldn't be quite as bad." Heero and Reelina went to the nearest Dennys and then Reelina placed her final order for the day.
//hamburgers, hot dogs,
cheese fries and coleslaw,
a dozen bearclaws,
yum yum yum.
Loves sausage links,
hates diet drinks, takes up
both seats in a two-seater car//
Heero asked the waitress to slip 5 of the pills into her food. "Well, that should do it. Now she eats her food and I can finally go home to Duo." Heero turned his head to the right to ask Reelina a question, but found himself staring right at her puckered up lips. Heero yelped in surprise and fear. "What's the matter, Heero? I know you want to kiss me just as much as I want you to kiss me, don't you?" She asked with a slight hint of menace in her voice. "Uh..." Heero thought fast. "In a public place? Don't you think we should wait until later when we can be..." Heero shuddered, but luckily Reelina didn't notice. "Alone?" Reelina looked both surprised and ecstatic. "Okay, Heero!" She exclaimed, and Heero prayed he'd find a way out of the mess he'd just gotten himself into. Reelinas food arrived and she began to devour it. After she had finally finished eating the huge pile of food in front of her, she led Heero to her car. "Okay, now let's go to my place, where we can be... Alone." She said, attempting to sound sexy VERY unsuccessfully. Heero began the drive to her house, and halfway there he had gigantic drops of sweat rolling off of him. Crap. Now would be the perfect time for her to have a heart attack or something. Wait... It's not much of an excuse, but it'll work. She can't exactly refuse, can she, now?" Heero glanced at Reelina and his gaze remained there in shock. She looks normal now! She's not a whale anymore! Still ugly as hell, and still female, but she's not grossly obese. They arrived at Reelinas house, and Heero checked the time. "Oh, damn... Reelina, Duo made me promise not to stay out past 9, and it's almost 9. If I leave right now, I might get back in time. Sorry, but I have to go. I had fun, hope we can do it again, I'll call you sometime, bye!" Heero said when she had gotten out and closed the door. He backed up the car and headed home, drenched in sweat. "I-it's impossible! I, I, I was able to get out of that!" Heero began laughing insanely.
//Her doctor said "lay off the bread",
but he didn't say nothin' 'bout a Snickers bar.
She drinks sweet milk by the gallon
and she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine.
Then she'll lay spread out on the hammock
after she's done her damage at the Dairy Queen.
She's got a butt bigger than the beatles
folks make fun 'cause she's overgrown.
Her rumps shaped like a Volkswagen beetle
she gives new meaning to the words big boned.
Bagels and cream cheese
vaniller ice cream
a tub of whipped cream
yum yum yum.
No you wont find her name on the weight loss of fame
down at Jenny Craigs.
When she cleans 'em out at the waffle house
they'll bring in more ham and eggs.
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs.
It's wide enough to play line backer for the Eagles
Deon Sanders better leave her alone. (If I spelled the name wrong, I blame it on lack of sports knowledge)
Try chicken halfs baked, or a fat free milk shake.
Enough for gods sake, stop the insanity!
Weight Watchers, yeah.
Weight Watchers, yeah.
Yeah, I watched her weight.
I watched it go from 117 and a quarter to 317 and a half,
two and a half years later. Moooooooooo!
Once Heero Got Home.....
"Duo! DUUUUUOOOOOO MAAAAXXXXWWWEEEELLLL!!!!" Duo bolted out of his and Heeros room and hugged the figure at the door. "Heero, you're all wet! Did it rain or something?" Heero laughed. "No, that's sweat. Reelina made me drive her to her house, and she wanted me to... To kiss her." Duo gasped in horror. "You kissed her? Someone get some soap quick!" Heero shook his head no. "Nuh-uh. I told her I had promised you to be home by 9 and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. You'd be amazed at just how fast that car can go..." Duo looked at Heero nervously, like he was avoiding saying something. "What is it, Duo?" "Well, uh, Heero... That's Reelinas car. You're going to have to take it back and get ours back." Heero nearly fainted, but managed to drive back to Reelinas mansion and change cars. He drove back going 115 miles per hour. He jumped out of the car once he was back and ran inside. "There. Everything's just fine now. Reelinas gone from my life forever, and I'm back home with Duo and the others." Duo approached him with a troubled look. "What is it now, Duo? Did Reelina forget a ring here or something?" Duo shook his head. "It's, uh, Gufei. He's... Got a girlfriend. Or at least I wish he did..." Heero was puzzled, but followed Duo to Gufeis room. Heero gaped at the sight he saw. "Gufei bought an inflatable new girlfriend..." Duo said, looking at Heero, his eyes full of hope that Heero would be able to do something about it.
To be continued.....
I hope you liked it. By the way, REVIEW IT!!! Whether you liked it or not, Review it. Hell, I don't care if you read it or not, just review it!! Thank you for your time. Your wasted time is non-refundable. Though I could sell it back to you for a hundred dollars a minute. Review, and bye!
The warnings are the same as the first chapters. And hopefully you people all like this series. Anyways, now on to the second chapter...
Duo awoke with a sharp pain in his chest. His eyes flew open and he saw Haus standing on his stomache. "Daaaaaaaddyyyyyyy! The big fat guy with a red suit came and grew a tree in here!" Duo rubbed the sleep from his eyes and prodded at Heero with his finger. "Heeeeeeeroooo. Wake up! I can't handle this kid by myself." Heero just rolled over onto his side. "Heeeeeeeeeeee'ooooooooo!" Haus yelled. "Waaaaaaaake uuuuuuuup!" Haus jumped up and down on Heero repeatedly until he woke up. Instinctively Heero reached for his gun, but missed and his hand slid into Duos underwear. "AH! Uh, Er... Heero? Could you let go of that, please? You're squeezing just a bit too hard." Heero finally became aware of the world around him and realised where his hand was. He pulled his hand out of Duos underwear and attempted to stand up. He was unable to get up for some reason though. He forced his sleepy eyes to focus and saw Haus standing on him. Haus jumped off Heero and Heero stood up. Duo stretched and stood next to Heero. "An eye for an eye, eh, Heero?" He asked, grinning, as he shoved his hand into Heeros spandex underwear (Yup, even his underwear's spandex.). Heero stood there for a minute, unable to do anything, before Duo removed his hand. By then Quarter and Trowel had woken up. "That kid's probably gonna need therapy if he lives around you two much longer." Trowel commented. Duo thought for a moment and said "Oh, and I suppose those loud groaning sounds he hears coming from your room at night isn't gonna make him need any therapy." Quarter and Trowel blushed. Gufei walked into the room. "Oh, you're already awake. Too bad. And I had it all planned out, too..." Trowel stepped over to the tree and grabbed a very small box. "Well, I guess this wont get me the award for originality, but why not?" Duo looked at the box with curiosity. "So what's in there? Give it to Quarter, already! I wanna know what it is." Trowel shifted his weight to his right leg nervously and then replied "Well... Okay." Trowel handed the box to Quarter. Quarter unwrapped it and opened the box, revealing a ring. "Quarter, will you marry me?" Then there was a knock at the door.
//She cooks with lard, loves hot food bars.
A quart of sweet tea and fried pork skins.//
Heero moved to open the door, and then paused, wondering if it was HER again. He slowly turned the doorknob and then quickly yanked the door open. Reelina jumped across the threshhold into Heeros arms. "Oh, crap, it's you again!" Heero said, sighing. Haus ran over to Reelina and smiled up at her. "AAAAAWWWWW!!! He's so cute!" Reelina gushed. Haus kicked her broken leg and said "You stupid bitch! My daddy loves my... Other daddy, not you!" Reelina fell to the ground and winced, trying in vain not to scream. She managed not to let out a full scream, but whimpered instead. "He's not as cute as I thought..." She muttered under her breath. She stood up, but fell back down again and landed on Haus. "HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!! SHE'S SQUISHING ME!" Heero pulled Reelina off Haus and shoved her across the room where she stumbled and fell again.
//Cain't get enough, eats 'til she's stuffed
Goes to the bathroom and comes back again.//
Wufei smiled as Reelina fell on the floor. He grabbed his katana and sliced the cast right off of her leg, making it impossible for her to move without pain shooting up the entire length of her leg. Duo picked up a box from under the tree and gave it to Reelina. "Here, Ms. Pieceocrap. I got you something." Reelina, despite the pain in her leg, took the box with a "Thank you" and opened it. salt spilled out from the box and onto her wound. She yelped in pain and crawled out the front door. "She finally left. That was mean of you guys to do to her, but I guess she kinda deserved it... She just can't take a hint, can she?" Quarter remarked. He turned slightly to the left and saw Trowel standing there expectantly. Quarter suddenly remembered the ring in his hand and what Trowel had asked him. "Yes! Of course I will, Trowel!" Quarter said happily, wrapping his arms around his love.
A Few Hours Later.....
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Duo yelled happily, chasing Heero around the back yard in the go-cart Quarter had gotten for him. "Duo, stop that! Argh! Quarter, why'd you have to buy him that?!?" Trowel, Quarter and Wufei were sitting in the lawn chairs, watching Duo chase Heero. "Well, Duo seems to having fun, it's good entertainment for us, and, hey, you're finally getting chased by a good looking guy." Quarter replied. "Damn it!" Duo exclaimed, and pulled over by Quarter. "You got any gasoline for this thing, Quarter?" He asked hopefully. "Sorry, Duo. I don't have any." Duo got out of the go-cart and slumped down into an empty lawn chair. Duo was lost in thought for several minutes before saying "Wow, I never knew thought was such a big place. I barely got out. But now I have an idea!" Duo ran to the garage and soon returned with a can of gasoline. "Um... Duo? Where'd you get that, exactly?" Heero questioned him. "I, uh, kinda borrowed it from your gundam. I didn't think I'd mind. I thought you would mind, but I decided that as long as it was okay with me, I could do it." Heero ran up to Duo and pinched his ass. "OW! Hey, why'd you do that?" And then 'the bitch' returned...
//She thinks she looks just like
Madonna when she runs her greasy
fingers through her bleach blond hair//
Reelina approached Heero slowly, being careful when putting weight on her newly casted leg. "Get lost, Reelina." Heero said as he moved to knock her on the ground. Reelina pulled out a gun and aimed it right between Heeros eyes. "I don't think so." Heero laughed. "I'm not afraid of you, gun or no gun." Reelina aimed the gun at Duo. "Fine, then. I'll just keep the gun aimed at the competition, though he isn't any competition at all. I don't see why you like him." Heero had been getting ready to tackle her, but froze in his tracks when she aimed the gun at Duo. He sighed and asked what she wanted. "It's very simple. I just want you to go on one date with me. One date with me, and not only do I not shoot your boyfriend, but I'll also never bother you again." Heero hesitated, but looked at the gun, looked at Duo, and reluctantly agreed. "Fine. You win. I'll do it."
//Most times she'll place another order
and lordy have mercy on that little bitty chair.//
Later At The Waffle House.....
Reelina batted her eyelashes at Heero. She got no response and glared at him angily. "Heero! I just flirted with you! Do something!" Heero grinned mischievously. "Kay." He said, and profusely vomited. Reelinas face turned bright red in rage, and she was just about to yell at Heero when she farted. A man wearing a gas mask walked up to the table. "Ready to order, miss Reelina? Oh, I see you decided to bring a date." Decided to bring a date? She probably just sat on him until he agreed to come with her. Poor guy... Reelina smiled gleefully. "Heero can order first." Good idea. Once you've ordered, there wont be anything left for that poor boy. Heero placed his order, and the waiter turned back towards Reelina. "Will you be having the usual?" He asked her politely. "Yes, thank you." Heero asked him what 'the usual' was. "Well, you know how some people order pizzas with everything on them?" Heero nodded his head. "Well, for her, the usual is a plate with everything on it. Quite literally everything. Well, everything edible." He whispered.
//She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles,
eatin' me out of house and home.//
Reelina decided to bat her eyelashes at Heero again. Heero, though disgusted, somehow managed to appear as if she looked attractive to him. I can't believe it... I knew I loved Duo, but I had no idea ANYONE could possibly love anyone THIS much. After this, I'm following Trowels example and ask Duo to marry me. Reelina, looking very pleased, slid one of her feet out of her shoe and lifted it to Heeros leg. Oh, crap. It's a good thing I had all that training... I really need to be strong to get through this. Heero smiled, trying not to let her see how disgusted he was. Jeez... It would be bad enough if she were a fat, ugly guy. But noooo. She has to be female, too. The man from earlier came into the room and set Heeros food in front of him. Then a tractor came out of the kitchen carrying Reelinas food. If she wasn't a princess, she wouldn't be rich. If she wasn't rich, she wouldn't be able to pay for this. If she couldn't pay for it, she'd be thin. I really wish she was poor... At least then she'd only be ugly and female. Unfortunately that's all that could possibly be done to her. She can't suddenly become good looking, and she can't just decide to be male. Hmmm... I've got an idea!" Heero slipped a pill into one of Reelinas waffles, and watched as she tore into her food. He quickly turned away and focused on the plate before him.
//Her booty size, well it oughta be illegal,
she has a hard time sittin' on the throne.//
I wonder if that pill will work. It guarantees that it'll make you lose 200 pounds in 5 minutes or less, or your money back. I doubt 200 pounds will be enough to help her, though... About five minutes later, she looked like she had lost about 200 pounds. Cool... Only 2000 to go, and moby dick will be normal sized. Hmmm... Moby dick. If she had one, this wouldn't be quite as bad." Heero and Reelina went to the nearest Dennys and then Reelina placed her final order for the day.
//hamburgers, hot dogs,
cheese fries and coleslaw,
a dozen bearclaws,
yum yum yum.
Loves sausage links,
hates diet drinks, takes up
both seats in a two-seater car//
Heero asked the waitress to slip 5 of the pills into her food. "Well, that should do it. Now she eats her food and I can finally go home to Duo." Heero turned his head to the right to ask Reelina a question, but found himself staring right at her puckered up lips. Heero yelped in surprise and fear. "What's the matter, Heero? I know you want to kiss me just as much as I want you to kiss me, don't you?" She asked with a slight hint of menace in her voice. "Uh..." Heero thought fast. "In a public place? Don't you think we should wait until later when we can be..." Heero shuddered, but luckily Reelina didn't notice. "Alone?" Reelina looked both surprised and ecstatic. "Okay, Heero!" She exclaimed, and Heero prayed he'd find a way out of the mess he'd just gotten himself into. Reelinas food arrived and she began to devour it. After she had finally finished eating the huge pile of food in front of her, she led Heero to her car. "Okay, now let's go to my place, where we can be... Alone." She said, attempting to sound sexy VERY unsuccessfully. Heero began the drive to her house, and halfway there he had gigantic drops of sweat rolling off of him. Crap. Now would be the perfect time for her to have a heart attack or something. Wait... It's not much of an excuse, but it'll work. She can't exactly refuse, can she, now?" Heero glanced at Reelina and his gaze remained there in shock. She looks normal now! She's not a whale anymore! Still ugly as hell, and still female, but she's not grossly obese. They arrived at Reelinas house, and Heero checked the time. "Oh, damn... Reelina, Duo made me promise not to stay out past 9, and it's almost 9. If I leave right now, I might get back in time. Sorry, but I have to go. I had fun, hope we can do it again, I'll call you sometime, bye!" Heero said when she had gotten out and closed the door. He backed up the car and headed home, drenched in sweat. "I-it's impossible! I, I, I was able to get out of that!" Heero began laughing insanely.
//Her doctor said "lay off the bread",
but he didn't say nothin' 'bout a Snickers bar.
She drinks sweet milk by the gallon
and she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine.
Then she'll lay spread out on the hammock
after she's done her damage at the Dairy Queen.
She's got a butt bigger than the beatles
folks make fun 'cause she's overgrown.
Her rumps shaped like a Volkswagen beetle
she gives new meaning to the words big boned.
Bagels and cream cheese
vaniller ice cream
a tub of whipped cream
yum yum yum.
No you wont find her name on the weight loss of fame
down at Jenny Craigs.
When she cleans 'em out at the waffle house
they'll bring in more ham and eggs.
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs.
It's wide enough to play line backer for the Eagles
Deon Sanders better leave her alone. (If I spelled the name wrong, I blame it on lack of sports knowledge)
Try chicken halfs baked, or a fat free milk shake.
Enough for gods sake, stop the insanity!
Weight Watchers, yeah.
Weight Watchers, yeah.
Yeah, I watched her weight.
I watched it go from 117 and a quarter to 317 and a half,
two and a half years later. Moooooooooo!
Once Heero Got Home.....
"Duo! DUUUUUOOOOOO MAAAAXXXXWWWEEEELLLL!!!!" Duo bolted out of his and Heeros room and hugged the figure at the door. "Heero, you're all wet! Did it rain or something?" Heero laughed. "No, that's sweat. Reelina made me drive her to her house, and she wanted me to... To kiss her." Duo gasped in horror. "You kissed her? Someone get some soap quick!" Heero shook his head no. "Nuh-uh. I told her I had promised you to be home by 9 and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. You'd be amazed at just how fast that car can go..." Duo looked at Heero nervously, like he was avoiding saying something. "What is it, Duo?" "Well, uh, Heero... That's Reelinas car. You're going to have to take it back and get ours back." Heero nearly fainted, but managed to drive back to Reelinas mansion and change cars. He drove back going 115 miles per hour. He jumped out of the car once he was back and ran inside. "There. Everything's just fine now. Reelinas gone from my life forever, and I'm back home with Duo and the others." Duo approached him with a troubled look. "What is it now, Duo? Did Reelina forget a ring here or something?" Duo shook his head. "It's, uh, Gufei. He's... Got a girlfriend. Or at least I wish he did..." Heero was puzzled, but followed Duo to Gufeis room. Heero gaped at the sight he saw. "Gufei bought an inflatable new girlfriend..." Duo said, looking at Heero, his eyes full of hope that Heero would be able to do something about it.
To be continued.....
I hope you liked it. By the way, REVIEW IT!!! Whether you liked it or not, Review it. Hell, I don't care if you read it or not, just review it!! Thank you for your time. Your wasted time is non-refundable. Though I could sell it back to you for a hundred dollars a minute. Review, and bye!