Never Again - Part One
By: PhoenixStAr
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: Sailormoon not mine. However, Saikoushidousha attacks,
Sailor Phoenix, Fenikkusu Kirei, the Platinum Guard, the Platinum Star,
concept and story line *are* mine. Please ask before you use them.
Author's Notes: I'm not sure how right the timeline is...I don't think the
Inner Senshi knew the Outers yet while Mamoru was having the
dreams, but I'm going to use them anyway. Hey, it's my story,
so who's going to stop me? MWAHAHAHA. Just think of this as...
well, let's just say the dreams come a 'little' late. Oh yeah, FYI,
Mamoru's 20 right now while Usagi's 16. And...gomen if y'all hate me
for making Usagi such a ditz and airhead, but...what can I say? I
had a hard time trying to portray her character. Speaking of character,
a lot of my characters are going to seem out of...well, out of character.
And I've revised Usagi to be less valley girl-ish, like you've all been
complaining about.
My email: kireiphoenix@hotmail.com
My site : http://takeoff.to/platinumphoenix
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Mamoru's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Azabu Apartments, Room 305, 3:30 p.m.
'I've been having these dreams lately, ones where Usako dies
on our wedding day. These dreams are killing me. To see her
beautiful face stained with blood...but no, that wasn't enough.
A deep voice comes. It seems familiar, yet not. He tells me to
stay away from Usako, or she will die. This pisses me off. Who
the hell did he think he was? Where did he get off calling her
Usako?!? Who was he to have the damn right to tell me to
stay away from her?? At first, I was just going to ignore the
bakayaro. But now...the dreams won't stop, and they're no longer
dreams. They feel more like premonitions of the future. I envision
her dead whenever I see her. My heart breaks at the sight. I don't
give a damn if I sound like a sap when I say this, but I can't ignore
these dreams anymore. Shimatta, kami-sama knows I don't want
to do this. But do I even have a choice anymore? ' I put down my
pen and shut my journal. I put the journal in a safe place before
I pick up a picture of us.
We were at Juuban Park. I had my arm around her
small waist while her head was resting on my shoulder, winking
at the camera. Oh, Usako...you're gorgeous. Do you know what
she looks like? Like a goddess. Shining blue eyes, perfect pink
lips, porcelain skin, rosy red cheeks, curves that any woman would
die for, and legs that go on from here to eternity. Kami-sama, I'm
going to miss holding her. I close my eyes as I remember how
perfectly her small, delicate hand fits in my much larger one,
how it feels to wrap my arms around her waist, how it feels to
wake up with her next to me, snuggled in between the sheets,
how it feels to catch her when she hurls herself at me, smelling
like whatever flowery scent she sprayed on herself that day, how
it feels when she gazes at me with those sparkling sky blue eyes
with love and trust radiating from them, all those feelings aimed
towards me... Kami-sama, how am I going to do this? I glance at the
clock on my kitchen wall. 3:36 p.m. She's late again. On purpose
or not...don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with her being
late this time, or ever, in fact...it's a kawaii quirk of hers.
It'll buy me more time today...it'll give me more time to agonize
about what I'm about to do.
Shimatta, WHY?!? I slam my fist down on the kitchen counter.
The vase of roses on the other side shakes. Itie, that hurt my hand.
But that's nothing compared to what I'm about to feel...
There's the door. I smirk to myself. That's my Usako,
always fashionably late. I'll miss her. Shimatta, I'm starting to
cry. I blink away my tears as fast as I can and open the door.
I watch her as she flies through the door and flings herself
at me. She's too kawaii. I can't believe I'm about to do this.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Narrator's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
"Gomen nasai, Mamo-chan! I had detention again! This sucks
SO much! It was bad enough in junior high, but why did
Ms. Haruna have to follow me to Juuban High School? WAHHH!!!!!
It's *so* not fair!" Mamoru held the beautiful sixteen-year-old
blonde girl in his arms as she continued gibbering.
'Better savor this moment, Chiba,' he thought bitterly.
'This is going to be the last time you'll ever hold her again.'
"Anyway, Ms. Haruna just wouldn't listen! I mean,
it's not *my* fault that school starts too early! Anyway, when I
left school, I was rushing on my way here and bumped into Rei-chan
and she started yelling at me for missing the senshi meeting, demo
I *tried* to tell her that I had detention again, but she just
started yelling at me again for being irre-irrespo-irespot-irrespon-"
"Irresponsible," Mamoru supplied for her quietly.
"Yeah, that's it! Irresposable! She's *so*
mean! And..." Usagi stopped babbling. She had finally
felt Mamoru tense. She tilted her head up and eyed him
questioningly. "What's wrong, Mamo-chan?"
Mamoru unconsciously took a deep breath. 'Here goes nothing.'
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Usagi's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
"What's wrong, Mamo-chan?"
Mamo-chan pushes me off him. Oh no, did I do
something? I did something, didn't I? I can feel the tears welling
up in my eyes, but I won't cry...not in front of Mamo-chan.
"That's what's wrong with you Usagi." Usagi?! No
Usako, not even Usa-chan or Usa?? I breathe in slowly and look
up at him with my puppy dog face. He'll forgive me for whatever I did
if I use it. Demo, I won't start wailing though, I won't. I won't
let myself.
"What do you mean, Mamo-chan?"
"Onegai, Usagi...don't call me Mamo-chan. Really,
I really don't even know what I saw in you in the first place! You're
always late, and ditzy, and kami-sama, don't even get me *started* on
how klutzy you can get! Even the usual blonde ditzy airhead can get
past a block without taking three people down with her!"
Oh kami...no, this wasn't happening. It can't be! We're
destined to be together. He has to love me. He couldn't have been
lying to me all this time...could he? He *did* die for me so many
times. He has to be joking...I look in his azure eyes and look for
some kind of amusement. He just had to be joking. It was all a
cruel, cruel joke.
"Mamo-chan...? Is this a joke?" I hear my voice get
caught in my throat, and I can feel tears streaming down my eyes.
"Didn't you hear me? Or maybe you're too ditzy to even
realize what I'm doing right now. I'm breaking up with you Usagi,
I'm. Breaking. Up. With. You!"
"No. No, no, no. We finally...we just got back together...
after all we've been through...no, we...you, no, you
can't! You're joking! No!! We have to live happily ever
after! You c-can't do this...the past, the future...
Ch-Chibi-Usa...Queen Serenity...she-she killed herself for us!
For...for us to have a second chance!" This can't be happening..
IT CAN'T!
"Just shut up for once, Usak-i." Was he just about
to call me Usako? Oh please, give me another chance,
Mamo-chan.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Mamoru's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
"Oh, just shut up for once, Usak-i." Damn, no, not good.
Don't call her Usako. It's Usagi. She's no longer my Usako, for
her sake, she can't be. Usagi. Usagi. Usagi. I look at her. Her
head was bowed and she was shaking her head disbelievingly.
Usako...oh kami-sama, please stop crying Usako...I won't
be able to take it. Wail, get mad...anything, just don't start crying.
You have no ounce of a notion of how hard it is for me to not reach
out this moment and wipe your tears away...
"You heard me, Usagi. Shut up. Stop your babbling for once.
I was willing to try and give Queen Serenity's death respect, but I
won't live this lie anymore! I can't, and I won't! This may be a shock
to you, but I never loved you...EVER! Not now, not in the Silver
Millenium, not EVER."
I can barely hold back a gasp when I saw the look in her eyes.
The utter despair and lack of hope was indescribable...oh kami...I'm
sorry, Usako.
I have to strain to hear her speak in a soft heartbroken whisper.
"Demo...you died for me...more than once..."
"Is that all you can think about? Okay, so I put my life on
the line for you. I pushed the act a little too far."
"...act...?" A strangled gasp escapes her lips. I shut my eyes.
I can't stand to see her like this...but I had to do what I had to do.
"Yes, ACT. You were the heiress of the universe! The fate of
the universe was to be in YOUR hands! And to top that off, you were
beautiful and didn't have a brain in your head! How EASY would it have
been for me to take full control after we got married?"
Oh kami-sama, I'm sorry Usako. You have no idea how
hard it was for me to say that. But I have to. I *have* to keep up
this cold front, for your sake.
"B-but...Ch-chibi-usa? Like, what about her? Are
you going to break us up...and risk losing Chibi-Usa? I
*may* be ditzy sometimes, but I *know* that you
l-love Chibi-usa..."
Dammit, Usako, just leave, *please*! I can't do this
anymore. "Yeah, Chibi-Usa's sweet, but like Pluto says,
we shouldn't know that much about our future, and the future
isn't set in stone. That means that we can't let knowing about
Chibi-usa affect our decisions. And I've decided to leave you!
Chibi-usa can't die if she was never there in the first place!"
I'll never be able to live with myself after this.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Narrator's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Usagi stared at him. She just stood there and stared.
The tears on her face had even stopped falling. Usagi and Mamoru
both stood there, watching the other, taking deep breaths.
Usagi was quiet. Then, in an angered whisper, she
glared at him. "You can dis me as much as you want, Chiba-san."
'Itie,' Mamoru thought, '*Chiba-san*...Gomen, Usako.
But at least you'll be safe now.'
"But when you talk about Chibi-usa that way, you've
totally crossed the line. SHE'S OUR DAUGHTER, FOR KAMI'S
SAKE!!! Have you no compassion at all??"
Exterior-wise, Mamoru never flinched. Inside, however,
his heart was torn, his soul painfully beaten. "Compassion? Ha, I'm
surprised that a ditz like you can even pronounce the word, nonetheless
know what it means. Think about it, Usagi. Use your brain for once
in your life. How could I love a daughter when I never loved her
mother?"
In a cold voice, Usagi retaliated with a glare. "Fine.
If you really feel that way, then I'll leave you be. Goodbye,
Mamoru-kun." And with that, Tsukino Usagi walked out of Mamoru's
life. She was gone, and he couldn't do anything now. He stared at her
back as she walked out the door, her hand lingering on the door as she
shut it.
With the door closed, Usagi ran to the elevator. When it came,
she sank to the corner furthest away from Mamoru's apartment. She
whispered to herself, "Goodbye, Mamo-chan." Tears marred her beautiful
face as she buried her head in her arms and started sobbing.
Mamoru stared at the door, listening to the distant sobbing. He
could've gone after her, but that would've ruined the whole point. With
what seemed like hours after the last trace of her heart wrenching tears
disappeared, he slowly walked over to the door and locked it, finally
admitting to himself that it was over. 'It's over.' He sank down to the
floor with his back against the door as hundreds of emotions flooded him.
Relief, anger, sadness, and regret, but that didn't matter.
'It's over.'
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Author's Notes: So..how'd you like it? Comments, suggestions,
flames, death threats, send them all to kireiphoenix@hotmail.com
My site: http://takeoff.to/platinumphoenix
By: PhoenixStAr
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: Sailormoon not mine. However, Saikoushidousha attacks,
Sailor Phoenix, Fenikkusu Kirei, the Platinum Guard, the Platinum Star,
concept and story line *are* mine. Please ask before you use them.
Author's Notes: I'm not sure how right the timeline is...I don't think the
Inner Senshi knew the Outers yet while Mamoru was having the
dreams, but I'm going to use them anyway. Hey, it's my story,
so who's going to stop me? MWAHAHAHA. Just think of this as...
well, let's just say the dreams come a 'little' late. Oh yeah, FYI,
Mamoru's 20 right now while Usagi's 16. And...gomen if y'all hate me
for making Usagi such a ditz and airhead, but...what can I say? I
had a hard time trying to portray her character. Speaking of character,
a lot of my characters are going to seem out of...well, out of character.
And I've revised Usagi to be less valley girl-ish, like you've all been
complaining about.
My email: kireiphoenix@hotmail.com
My site : http://takeoff.to/platinumphoenix
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Mamoru's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Azabu Apartments, Room 305, 3:30 p.m.
'I've been having these dreams lately, ones where Usako dies
on our wedding day. These dreams are killing me. To see her
beautiful face stained with blood...but no, that wasn't enough.
A deep voice comes. It seems familiar, yet not. He tells me to
stay away from Usako, or she will die. This pisses me off. Who
the hell did he think he was? Where did he get off calling her
Usako?!? Who was he to have the damn right to tell me to
stay away from her?? At first, I was just going to ignore the
bakayaro. But now...the dreams won't stop, and they're no longer
dreams. They feel more like premonitions of the future. I envision
her dead whenever I see her. My heart breaks at the sight. I don't
give a damn if I sound like a sap when I say this, but I can't ignore
these dreams anymore. Shimatta, kami-sama knows I don't want
to do this. But do I even have a choice anymore? ' I put down my
pen and shut my journal. I put the journal in a safe place before
I pick up a picture of us.
We were at Juuban Park. I had my arm around her
small waist while her head was resting on my shoulder, winking
at the camera. Oh, Usako...you're gorgeous. Do you know what
she looks like? Like a goddess. Shining blue eyes, perfect pink
lips, porcelain skin, rosy red cheeks, curves that any woman would
die for, and legs that go on from here to eternity. Kami-sama, I'm
going to miss holding her. I close my eyes as I remember how
perfectly her small, delicate hand fits in my much larger one,
how it feels to wrap my arms around her waist, how it feels to
wake up with her next to me, snuggled in between the sheets,
how it feels to catch her when she hurls herself at me, smelling
like whatever flowery scent she sprayed on herself that day, how
it feels when she gazes at me with those sparkling sky blue eyes
with love and trust radiating from them, all those feelings aimed
towards me... Kami-sama, how am I going to do this? I glance at the
clock on my kitchen wall. 3:36 p.m. She's late again. On purpose
or not...don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with her being
late this time, or ever, in fact...it's a kawaii quirk of hers.
It'll buy me more time today...it'll give me more time to agonize
about what I'm about to do.
Shimatta, WHY?!? I slam my fist down on the kitchen counter.
The vase of roses on the other side shakes. Itie, that hurt my hand.
But that's nothing compared to what I'm about to feel...
There's the door. I smirk to myself. That's my Usako,
always fashionably late. I'll miss her. Shimatta, I'm starting to
cry. I blink away my tears as fast as I can and open the door.
I watch her as she flies through the door and flings herself
at me. She's too kawaii. I can't believe I'm about to do this.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Narrator's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
"Gomen nasai, Mamo-chan! I had detention again! This sucks
SO much! It was bad enough in junior high, but why did
Ms. Haruna have to follow me to Juuban High School? WAHHH!!!!!
It's *so* not fair!" Mamoru held the beautiful sixteen-year-old
blonde girl in his arms as she continued gibbering.
'Better savor this moment, Chiba,' he thought bitterly.
'This is going to be the last time you'll ever hold her again.'
"Anyway, Ms. Haruna just wouldn't listen! I mean,
it's not *my* fault that school starts too early! Anyway, when I
left school, I was rushing on my way here and bumped into Rei-chan
and she started yelling at me for missing the senshi meeting, demo
I *tried* to tell her that I had detention again, but she just
started yelling at me again for being irre-irrespo-irespot-irrespon-"
"Irresponsible," Mamoru supplied for her quietly.
"Yeah, that's it! Irresposable! She's *so*
mean! And..." Usagi stopped babbling. She had finally
felt Mamoru tense. She tilted her head up and eyed him
questioningly. "What's wrong, Mamo-chan?"
Mamoru unconsciously took a deep breath. 'Here goes nothing.'
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Usagi's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
"What's wrong, Mamo-chan?"
Mamo-chan pushes me off him. Oh no, did I do
something? I did something, didn't I? I can feel the tears welling
up in my eyes, but I won't cry...not in front of Mamo-chan.
"That's what's wrong with you Usagi." Usagi?! No
Usako, not even Usa-chan or Usa?? I breathe in slowly and look
up at him with my puppy dog face. He'll forgive me for whatever I did
if I use it. Demo, I won't start wailing though, I won't. I won't
let myself.
"What do you mean, Mamo-chan?"
"Onegai, Usagi...don't call me Mamo-chan. Really,
I really don't even know what I saw in you in the first place! You're
always late, and ditzy, and kami-sama, don't even get me *started* on
how klutzy you can get! Even the usual blonde ditzy airhead can get
past a block without taking three people down with her!"
Oh kami...no, this wasn't happening. It can't be! We're
destined to be together. He has to love me. He couldn't have been
lying to me all this time...could he? He *did* die for me so many
times. He has to be joking...I look in his azure eyes and look for
some kind of amusement. He just had to be joking. It was all a
cruel, cruel joke.
"Mamo-chan...? Is this a joke?" I hear my voice get
caught in my throat, and I can feel tears streaming down my eyes.
"Didn't you hear me? Or maybe you're too ditzy to even
realize what I'm doing right now. I'm breaking up with you Usagi,
I'm. Breaking. Up. With. You!"
"No. No, no, no. We finally...we just got back together...
after all we've been through...no, we...you, no, you
can't! You're joking! No!! We have to live happily ever
after! You c-can't do this...the past, the future...
Ch-Chibi-Usa...Queen Serenity...she-she killed herself for us!
For...for us to have a second chance!" This can't be happening..
IT CAN'T!
"Just shut up for once, Usak-i." Was he just about
to call me Usako? Oh please, give me another chance,
Mamo-chan.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Mamoru's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
"Oh, just shut up for once, Usak-i." Damn, no, not good.
Don't call her Usako. It's Usagi. She's no longer my Usako, for
her sake, she can't be. Usagi. Usagi. Usagi. I look at her. Her
head was bowed and she was shaking her head disbelievingly.
Usako...oh kami-sama, please stop crying Usako...I won't
be able to take it. Wail, get mad...anything, just don't start crying.
You have no ounce of a notion of how hard it is for me to not reach
out this moment and wipe your tears away...
"You heard me, Usagi. Shut up. Stop your babbling for once.
I was willing to try and give Queen Serenity's death respect, but I
won't live this lie anymore! I can't, and I won't! This may be a shock
to you, but I never loved you...EVER! Not now, not in the Silver
Millenium, not EVER."
I can barely hold back a gasp when I saw the look in her eyes.
The utter despair and lack of hope was indescribable...oh kami...I'm
sorry, Usako.
I have to strain to hear her speak in a soft heartbroken whisper.
"Demo...you died for me...more than once..."
"Is that all you can think about? Okay, so I put my life on
the line for you. I pushed the act a little too far."
"...act...?" A strangled gasp escapes her lips. I shut my eyes.
I can't stand to see her like this...but I had to do what I had to do.
"Yes, ACT. You were the heiress of the universe! The fate of
the universe was to be in YOUR hands! And to top that off, you were
beautiful and didn't have a brain in your head! How EASY would it have
been for me to take full control after we got married?"
Oh kami-sama, I'm sorry Usako. You have no idea how
hard it was for me to say that. But I have to. I *have* to keep up
this cold front, for your sake.
"B-but...Ch-chibi-usa? Like, what about her? Are
you going to break us up...and risk losing Chibi-Usa? I
*may* be ditzy sometimes, but I *know* that you
l-love Chibi-usa..."
Dammit, Usako, just leave, *please*! I can't do this
anymore. "Yeah, Chibi-Usa's sweet, but like Pluto says,
we shouldn't know that much about our future, and the future
isn't set in stone. That means that we can't let knowing about
Chibi-usa affect our decisions. And I've decided to leave you!
Chibi-usa can't die if she was never there in the first place!"
I'll never be able to live with myself after this.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Narrator's P.O.V.
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Usagi stared at him. She just stood there and stared.
The tears on her face had even stopped falling. Usagi and Mamoru
both stood there, watching the other, taking deep breaths.
Usagi was quiet. Then, in an angered whisper, she
glared at him. "You can dis me as much as you want, Chiba-san."
'Itie,' Mamoru thought, '*Chiba-san*...Gomen, Usako.
But at least you'll be safe now.'
"But when you talk about Chibi-usa that way, you've
totally crossed the line. SHE'S OUR DAUGHTER, FOR KAMI'S
SAKE!!! Have you no compassion at all??"
Exterior-wise, Mamoru never flinched. Inside, however,
his heart was torn, his soul painfully beaten. "Compassion? Ha, I'm
surprised that a ditz like you can even pronounce the word, nonetheless
know what it means. Think about it, Usagi. Use your brain for once
in your life. How could I love a daughter when I never loved her
mother?"
In a cold voice, Usagi retaliated with a glare. "Fine.
If you really feel that way, then I'll leave you be. Goodbye,
Mamoru-kun." And with that, Tsukino Usagi walked out of Mamoru's
life. She was gone, and he couldn't do anything now. He stared at her
back as she walked out the door, her hand lingering on the door as she
shut it.
With the door closed, Usagi ran to the elevator. When it came,
she sank to the corner furthest away from Mamoru's apartment. She
whispered to herself, "Goodbye, Mamo-chan." Tears marred her beautiful
face as she buried her head in her arms and started sobbing.
Mamoru stared at the door, listening to the distant sobbing. He
could've gone after her, but that would've ruined the whole point. With
what seemed like hours after the last trace of her heart wrenching tears
disappeared, he slowly walked over to the door and locked it, finally
admitting to himself that it was over. 'It's over.' He sank down to the
floor with his back against the door as hundreds of emotions flooded him.
Relief, anger, sadness, and regret, but that didn't matter.
'It's over.'
^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~*^~
Author's Notes: So..how'd you like it? Comments, suggestions,
flames, death threats, send them all to kireiphoenix@hotmail.com
My site: http://takeoff.to/platinumphoenix