You people are in for it today... I am seriously inspired, as well as quite
wired. So heres a fanfic to Cledus T Judd, and however bad, please don't
call it mud. It's set to 'Please Take The Girl,' and hey, guess what, it
features a squirrel! Doctor Suess has nothing on me, and I'll be right back
'cause I've got to pee... By the way, this is chapter ten, and it features
five good looking men.
(I am such a genius...)
When Heero woke up, he had a sudden urge. "Duo! Wake up! We're all going fishing!" Duo woke up. "Why? Why go fishing? AND WHY THE HELL AT 4 AM?!?" Heero glanced at the clock. "Oh... It's that early? Who gives a damn... We'll be the first ones there, that's good, right?" Duo sighed and got dressed while Heero went and woke up the other three pilots and Trace. "Hey, guess what? We're going fishing! So wake up!" Heero yelled as he ran through the house. "And you can come too, Heesa!" After the five gundam pilots, Heesa and Trace had all assembled, Heero passed out all the necessary fishing equipment and then jumped into the drivers seat of the gundam pilots' car. (They all helped to buy it, so I have to call it the gundam pilots' car rather than Heeros car, or Duos car, or something like that.)
//Arnies daddy said he'd take him fishin'
if he'd just dig the bait.
He said get lost dad, I'm watchin' mud wrastlin',
go jump in the lake.//
"Heero? Why are we going fishing? And why do we have to go fishing at 4 am?" Quarter asked. "Well, I just thought of it, I mean, there isn't any particular reason. But hey, it'll be nice and relaxing, and we sure as hell deserve a bit of r and r after all the weird stuff that's been happening to us, right?" The others reluctantly agreed.
(Hey... I just realised something. Today's Valentines Day... So I'll be sure to put lots and lots of nice,Valentines Day-ey things in this chapter.)
//Why don't you take that neighbor girl,
the one that favors our dog?
His dad said son she might sink the boat,
she weighs more than our hog.//
Sicne the author only just now at 3 PM figured out that it's Valentines Day, a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a dozen roses appeared magically in each of the gundam pilots' and Traces hands, and they exchanged them. Heero and Duo switched theirs, Quarter and Trowel switched theirs, and Gufei and Trace switched theirs. They weren't all the same (The chocolates anyways, the roses were pretty much the same), because if they were, it'd be pretty pointless to switch 'em. Each one was the same size, though. If they weren't, feelings might have gotten hurt... Probably not, but I'm the author. If they were different sizes, I'd make them all beat the crap out of each other, and I didn't want to take the time to write that scene. But there were different kinds of chocolates in each box. And not a single box had any coconut ones.
//And Arnie said she's got a tackle box that you'd kill for,
a Zepco rod and reel. She won the junior bass masters tourney,
and I just ate oatmeal, and I'm afraid I might hurl.//
Then Duo (Who was sitting in the front next to Heero) decided it would be a good time ta give Heero a nice, big, french kiss. However then Heero couldn't see to drive, and the car hit something and stopped. "What the hell was that? A tree?" Duo asked as he pulled away from Heero and looked out the front windshield. "No... It doesn't look like we hit anything at all. The car just... Stopped." Heero replied. Heero got out and walked to the front to see why the car stopped. Then a squirrel launched itself from in front of the car, and it latched onto Heeros face. "HEEEEEEEELLPPP!!! IT'S THAT SQUIRREL AGAIN!" Heero stumbled all over the road, unable to see with the squirrel over his eyes. "I'm getting serious Deja-Vu..." Quarter muttered.
//Daddy please, please take the girl.
(I'd rather take a canin' than ta go fishin'!)
Same whiny boy, same large girl, 11 years with no date.
They finally married when they both realised
they'd get a big tax break.//
Duo jumped out of the car and grabbed the squirrel. He carefully removed it from Heeros face, making sure he didn't hurt him (Meaning Heero, not the squirrel). Then Duo held onto the squirrel firmly with both hands and shook it repeatedly for several minutes. "You god damn squirrel! I'll rip your head off, just as soon as I'm done shaking you!" When Duo finally finished shaking the squirrel, and the squirrel had a headache the size of Texas and was ready to throw up, he threw the squirrel to the ground and stomped on it just over twenty times. He picked the squirrel up, spun around in circles, holding the squirrel in one hand, and then let go, and the squirrel flew far, far away. In fact, the squirrel flew right over a rainbow, and got caught in a tornado. The occupants of the car heard it screech for about a minute, and then it was too far away to hear.
//One night at the laundrymat, worshin' underwear,
a stranger pulled a water gun.
Arnie sod another pair (Whoops!) and whimpered.
Ain't got no money in my wallet,
she's got the credit cards.//
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Dodo." Heero told the small extinct dodo bird that had appeared by him, and then it vanished. "We aren't. We're in California. Great place, don't ya think?" Trowel informed him. "Oh. Okay, then." Heero and Duo got back into the car, and they continued the drive. Once they arrived at the lake, they piled out of the car, and Heero rented a boat. But, after everyone had gotten their equipment, before they were able to get in the boat, Reelina ran up to them. "Waaaaaaaaaaiiiit! You can't leave without me, can you?" There were a few seconds of silence, and then Heero spoke. "Yes we can." Everyone got on the boat quickly, and Trowel shoved the boat away from the shore so Reelina couldn't get on.
//But they're all run up over the limit, wont get you very far.
And though her hairs up in curls, and she looks Milton Burle, (Another name I can't spell.)
she ain't wearin' fake pearls. Mister please, please, please, please take the girl!//
However they seem to have underestimated Reelina. She swam out to the boat, and climbed on board. "Oh, crap!" The boat capsized, but somehow it capsized after being capsized, which would mean that it ended up right side up. And all their fishing equipment was still on the boat. And the gundam pilots themselves were still on the boat, and they somehow managed to remain completely dry. Reelina, however, had fallen off the boat, gotten soaked, and been hit on the head by the boat, knocking her out. Luckily for her, she was fat enough that she just floated to the shore. "Now to begin the fishing..."
//(Well she ain't bad when she gets a couple coats
of that cold cream on her, and a good sack over her head!)
A toothleth Arnie, a whale of a woman, 40 years down the tube.//
After about an hour had gone by and no fish had been caught, Heesa (Duo's grandma (Got run over by a reindeer... Oops, sorry) of course) felt a tug on her line. "I hooked something!" She pulled and pulled, but she couldn't get it to budge. "It must be a real big one..." She exclaimed, and all of the others helped her to reel it in. Once all of them started pulling, it came about an inch closer. "Maybe a bit too big to be a fish? Maybe her line got caught under a rock or something." Quarter suggested. "No, it's definitely alive, can't you feel it pulling?" Heesa asked. Quarter nodded his head as the thing on the other end of the line tugged. Then the line suddenly became very loose... A bit TOO loose...
//One day they found him with a shotgun
buck naked on the roof.
The doctor said he's lost his mind,
we'll have to take him away.//
"Why'd it go loose all of a sudden?" Heero asked, and then the boat exploded, and all of the occupants flew out into the lake, each one seperated from the others. Before they hit the water and went under, they saw a huge great white chomping down on the boat. "Holy shi..." Heero managed to get out before he hit the water. All the gundam pilots, Trace, and Heesa came up, but when they did, the water was calm. "Where'd it go?!?" Duo screamed, his voice filled with fear, as he turned around, looking for any sign of the shark. Then Heero suddenly dove to the side, and the shark jumped up right where he had been and ate his shoes and socks, which had been knocked off Heero when he fell into the water. The shark dove back under the water and Heeros shoes and socks floated back up to the surface. "Guess he didn't like the taste any more than I like the smell..." Gufei said.
//As they strapped that strait jacket on him,
someone heard him say.
Eep bow boo laow pow,
if you lived with her long as I have,
you'd be slap crazy too.//
Heero swam towards Gufei as fast as he could so he could hit him, and the shark once again dove out of the water right where Heero had been a split second before. Heero was close enough, however, that one of its teeth got caught on Heeros tank top and pulled it right off him. Heero dove underwater and saw the shark coming right for him. He dodged the shark just in time yet again, but the shark missed by such a small amount of space that its teeth ripped right through Heeros spandex shorts, and then they fell off. (Hehehe... Heeros naked! Good sharky...) Heero swam up towards the surface as the shark turned around, and the shark jumped out above the water the same time Heero did. Heero cleared the shark by a foot (And the other gundam pilots, Trace, and Heesa got a nice view of him with no clothes on).
//She's the one that's really a psycho,
more than a few screws loose.
She's nutty as a squirrel.
Doctor please, please take the girl!
(Get her out of here!)//
Heero fell back down, and landed on the sharks back. He grabbed onto its fin (I think it's called a dorsal fin, but it's been a long time since I bothered to check up on which fins are which.) as the shark went back underwater. Just like if this was a movie, the camera was over the water, and therefore nobody sees anything but bubbles coming up to the surface, and the reader completely misses out on the fight. After much longer than anyone should be able to hold their breath, Heero surfaced and took a deep breath. "I killed the shark!" Heero swam to the shore where the others were waiting for him. He got out of the water and went to the car. He opened up a suitcase in the trunk and took out a tank top, some spandex shorts, a pair of socks, and some shoes that all looked exactly like the ones the shark had destroyed. He put them on, and then Duo frowned. "Why'd you have to go and put clothes on? I was enjoying the view..."
//Arnies daddy said he'd take him fishin',
if he'd just dig the bait.
Is it Tim McGraw, or John Anderson,
I'm tryin' to imitate? (Sorry Tim.)//
To be continued...
Well? How was it? Review it and tell me. Um... I'm running out of songs, here. I have three more songs, and then I'm out. Unless I get some more off of Napster. Anyways, please review it. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. If you haven't already, GO READ AND REVIEW MY OTHER FANFICS! *coughcough* Thanks fer yer time, an' don't forget to come back and check for the next chapter to be in. And if you have any suggestions for things for me to write about in either this or another fanfic, tell me. I am always open to suggestions. Especially if they're good. I'll even mention you in the fanfic if you give me the idea for it! I need ideas.... And reviews. I loooooove getting good reviews. Nothing is more inspiring than good reviews. Except maybe the thought of Duo naked... I've talked a lot. I should probably end this chapter now. So long, folks! Y'all come back now, ya hear? REVIIIIEEEEEEWWW!!!
(I am such a genius...)
When Heero woke up, he had a sudden urge. "Duo! Wake up! We're all going fishing!" Duo woke up. "Why? Why go fishing? AND WHY THE HELL AT 4 AM?!?" Heero glanced at the clock. "Oh... It's that early? Who gives a damn... We'll be the first ones there, that's good, right?" Duo sighed and got dressed while Heero went and woke up the other three pilots and Trace. "Hey, guess what? We're going fishing! So wake up!" Heero yelled as he ran through the house. "And you can come too, Heesa!" After the five gundam pilots, Heesa and Trace had all assembled, Heero passed out all the necessary fishing equipment and then jumped into the drivers seat of the gundam pilots' car. (They all helped to buy it, so I have to call it the gundam pilots' car rather than Heeros car, or Duos car, or something like that.)
//Arnies daddy said he'd take him fishin'
if he'd just dig the bait.
He said get lost dad, I'm watchin' mud wrastlin',
go jump in the lake.//
"Heero? Why are we going fishing? And why do we have to go fishing at 4 am?" Quarter asked. "Well, I just thought of it, I mean, there isn't any particular reason. But hey, it'll be nice and relaxing, and we sure as hell deserve a bit of r and r after all the weird stuff that's been happening to us, right?" The others reluctantly agreed.
(Hey... I just realised something. Today's Valentines Day... So I'll be sure to put lots and lots of nice,Valentines Day-ey things in this chapter.)
//Why don't you take that neighbor girl,
the one that favors our dog?
His dad said son she might sink the boat,
she weighs more than our hog.//
Sicne the author only just now at 3 PM figured out that it's Valentines Day, a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a dozen roses appeared magically in each of the gundam pilots' and Traces hands, and they exchanged them. Heero and Duo switched theirs, Quarter and Trowel switched theirs, and Gufei and Trace switched theirs. They weren't all the same (The chocolates anyways, the roses were pretty much the same), because if they were, it'd be pretty pointless to switch 'em. Each one was the same size, though. If they weren't, feelings might have gotten hurt... Probably not, but I'm the author. If they were different sizes, I'd make them all beat the crap out of each other, and I didn't want to take the time to write that scene. But there were different kinds of chocolates in each box. And not a single box had any coconut ones.
//And Arnie said she's got a tackle box that you'd kill for,
a Zepco rod and reel. She won the junior bass masters tourney,
and I just ate oatmeal, and I'm afraid I might hurl.//
Then Duo (Who was sitting in the front next to Heero) decided it would be a good time ta give Heero a nice, big, french kiss. However then Heero couldn't see to drive, and the car hit something and stopped. "What the hell was that? A tree?" Duo asked as he pulled away from Heero and looked out the front windshield. "No... It doesn't look like we hit anything at all. The car just... Stopped." Heero replied. Heero got out and walked to the front to see why the car stopped. Then a squirrel launched itself from in front of the car, and it latched onto Heeros face. "HEEEEEEEELLPPP!!! IT'S THAT SQUIRREL AGAIN!" Heero stumbled all over the road, unable to see with the squirrel over his eyes. "I'm getting serious Deja-Vu..." Quarter muttered.
//Daddy please, please take the girl.
(I'd rather take a canin' than ta go fishin'!)
Same whiny boy, same large girl, 11 years with no date.
They finally married when they both realised
they'd get a big tax break.//
Duo jumped out of the car and grabbed the squirrel. He carefully removed it from Heeros face, making sure he didn't hurt him (Meaning Heero, not the squirrel). Then Duo held onto the squirrel firmly with both hands and shook it repeatedly for several minutes. "You god damn squirrel! I'll rip your head off, just as soon as I'm done shaking you!" When Duo finally finished shaking the squirrel, and the squirrel had a headache the size of Texas and was ready to throw up, he threw the squirrel to the ground and stomped on it just over twenty times. He picked the squirrel up, spun around in circles, holding the squirrel in one hand, and then let go, and the squirrel flew far, far away. In fact, the squirrel flew right over a rainbow, and got caught in a tornado. The occupants of the car heard it screech for about a minute, and then it was too far away to hear.
//One night at the laundrymat, worshin' underwear,
a stranger pulled a water gun.
Arnie sod another pair (Whoops!) and whimpered.
Ain't got no money in my wallet,
she's got the credit cards.//
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Dodo." Heero told the small extinct dodo bird that had appeared by him, and then it vanished. "We aren't. We're in California. Great place, don't ya think?" Trowel informed him. "Oh. Okay, then." Heero and Duo got back into the car, and they continued the drive. Once they arrived at the lake, they piled out of the car, and Heero rented a boat. But, after everyone had gotten their equipment, before they were able to get in the boat, Reelina ran up to them. "Waaaaaaaaaaiiiit! You can't leave without me, can you?" There were a few seconds of silence, and then Heero spoke. "Yes we can." Everyone got on the boat quickly, and Trowel shoved the boat away from the shore so Reelina couldn't get on.
//But they're all run up over the limit, wont get you very far.
And though her hairs up in curls, and she looks Milton Burle, (Another name I can't spell.)
she ain't wearin' fake pearls. Mister please, please, please, please take the girl!//
However they seem to have underestimated Reelina. She swam out to the boat, and climbed on board. "Oh, crap!" The boat capsized, but somehow it capsized after being capsized, which would mean that it ended up right side up. And all their fishing equipment was still on the boat. And the gundam pilots themselves were still on the boat, and they somehow managed to remain completely dry. Reelina, however, had fallen off the boat, gotten soaked, and been hit on the head by the boat, knocking her out. Luckily for her, she was fat enough that she just floated to the shore. "Now to begin the fishing..."
//(Well she ain't bad when she gets a couple coats
of that cold cream on her, and a good sack over her head!)
A toothleth Arnie, a whale of a woman, 40 years down the tube.//
After about an hour had gone by and no fish had been caught, Heesa (Duo's grandma (Got run over by a reindeer... Oops, sorry) of course) felt a tug on her line. "I hooked something!" She pulled and pulled, but she couldn't get it to budge. "It must be a real big one..." She exclaimed, and all of the others helped her to reel it in. Once all of them started pulling, it came about an inch closer. "Maybe a bit too big to be a fish? Maybe her line got caught under a rock or something." Quarter suggested. "No, it's definitely alive, can't you feel it pulling?" Heesa asked. Quarter nodded his head as the thing on the other end of the line tugged. Then the line suddenly became very loose... A bit TOO loose...
//One day they found him with a shotgun
buck naked on the roof.
The doctor said he's lost his mind,
we'll have to take him away.//
"Why'd it go loose all of a sudden?" Heero asked, and then the boat exploded, and all of the occupants flew out into the lake, each one seperated from the others. Before they hit the water and went under, they saw a huge great white chomping down on the boat. "Holy shi..." Heero managed to get out before he hit the water. All the gundam pilots, Trace, and Heesa came up, but when they did, the water was calm. "Where'd it go?!?" Duo screamed, his voice filled with fear, as he turned around, looking for any sign of the shark. Then Heero suddenly dove to the side, and the shark jumped up right where he had been and ate his shoes and socks, which had been knocked off Heero when he fell into the water. The shark dove back under the water and Heeros shoes and socks floated back up to the surface. "Guess he didn't like the taste any more than I like the smell..." Gufei said.
//As they strapped that strait jacket on him,
someone heard him say.
Eep bow boo laow pow,
if you lived with her long as I have,
you'd be slap crazy too.//
Heero swam towards Gufei as fast as he could so he could hit him, and the shark once again dove out of the water right where Heero had been a split second before. Heero was close enough, however, that one of its teeth got caught on Heeros tank top and pulled it right off him. Heero dove underwater and saw the shark coming right for him. He dodged the shark just in time yet again, but the shark missed by such a small amount of space that its teeth ripped right through Heeros spandex shorts, and then they fell off. (Hehehe... Heeros naked! Good sharky...) Heero swam up towards the surface as the shark turned around, and the shark jumped out above the water the same time Heero did. Heero cleared the shark by a foot (And the other gundam pilots, Trace, and Heesa got a nice view of him with no clothes on).
//She's the one that's really a psycho,
more than a few screws loose.
She's nutty as a squirrel.
Doctor please, please take the girl!
(Get her out of here!)//
Heero fell back down, and landed on the sharks back. He grabbed onto its fin (I think it's called a dorsal fin, but it's been a long time since I bothered to check up on which fins are which.) as the shark went back underwater. Just like if this was a movie, the camera was over the water, and therefore nobody sees anything but bubbles coming up to the surface, and the reader completely misses out on the fight. After much longer than anyone should be able to hold their breath, Heero surfaced and took a deep breath. "I killed the shark!" Heero swam to the shore where the others were waiting for him. He got out of the water and went to the car. He opened up a suitcase in the trunk and took out a tank top, some spandex shorts, a pair of socks, and some shoes that all looked exactly like the ones the shark had destroyed. He put them on, and then Duo frowned. "Why'd you have to go and put clothes on? I was enjoying the view..."
//Arnies daddy said he'd take him fishin',
if he'd just dig the bait.
Is it Tim McGraw, or John Anderson,
I'm tryin' to imitate? (Sorry Tim.)//
To be continued...
Well? How was it? Review it and tell me. Um... I'm running out of songs, here. I have three more songs, and then I'm out. Unless I get some more off of Napster. Anyways, please review it. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. If you haven't already, GO READ AND REVIEW MY OTHER FANFICS! *coughcough* Thanks fer yer time, an' don't forget to come back and check for the next chapter to be in. And if you have any suggestions for things for me to write about in either this or another fanfic, tell me. I am always open to suggestions. Especially if they're good. I'll even mention you in the fanfic if you give me the idea for it! I need ideas.... And reviews. I loooooove getting good reviews. Nothing is more inspiring than good reviews. Except maybe the thought of Duo naked... I've talked a lot. I should probably end this chapter now. So long, folks! Y'all come back now, ya hear? REVIIIIEEEEEEWWW!!!