"OH MY GOD! IT HAS WEAPONS!" Matt yelled
"duh huh cloud have weapons!"
"no you idiot!"
"what do we do?" Barret asked
"um, be very still, maybe it can't see us if we stay still."
Remlap responded
"YOU IDIOT! THAT'S A T-REX!" Callie pointed out
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!" Matt yelled. "IT'S MY AC FROM MY LAST ARMORED
CORE GAME! IF IM CORRECT, ITS NAME SHOULD BE MAGMA AND IT SHOULD HAVE
A DOUBLE-"
"ok lets get out of here" Sephiroth interjected.
everyone walked away, leaving Matt babbling on about some
important ac that no one cared about.
"CHHTFFFTPSHCHA! fine then!, I'm not going with you guys!" Matt
threatened
everyone kept walking away. "WAIT! I'M COMING WITH YOU GUYS!"
the ac followed them.
"I PITY THE AC!" Barret INSISTED.
"uh, anyone else have a hankering for some chalupas?" Cid asked.
"yeah, lets go" Tifa said.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?! TUNE IN NEXT TIME, ON """Perfectly Loud And
Yet Still Truthfully Awesome Turning Into an Obsessive Need"""
(playstation)
"DAMMIT! Stop dropping your goddamn Chalupas!" Callie yelled
at Matt and Cloud.
"Please?" asked Matt.
'Duh, but commercial say to drop the Chalupa!" Cloud said.
"TIMMY!" yelled Sephiroth, who was sitting in a motorized
wheelchair.
"AH'M GONNA KICK YOU IN DE NUTSH!" Cartman screamed.
"I HATE YOU! YOU LOOK AND ACT LIKE MY BROTHER!" Callie yelled,
and proceeded to destroy Cartman.
"Oh, my god, you killed Cartman!" said Tifa.
"About time." replied Laguna.
"CLOUD STILL NO HAVE BOOBIES!" Cloud screamed. 'CLOUD AM HERO
OF GAME, CLOUD DESERVE MUCH OF BOOBIES!"
"Oh, go play Valkyrie Wild and SHUT UP!" Callie retorted.
"Duh, that game not real."
"Too bad." said Irvine. "Looks like my kind of game."
"PERVERT!" all the girls screamed.
"Oh, I am not." said every male there.
"Liar."
"ME JUST WANT BOOBIES! ME NOT BIG FLAMING QUEEN LIKE
SEPHIROTH!" Cloud cried at the top of his lungs.
"I'm a WHAT?" Sephiroth asked, putting his hands on his chest
and batting his eyelids. "That is SOOOOOOOOO not true, you cute little
thing!"
Callie started to cry.
"Ohh, I was just kidding." Sephiroth reassured her.
Vincent burped.
"excuse me" he said.
"duh heehee cloud want to make a riff"
"CLOUD! your so dumb, the only riff you'll be making is the one
going into the toilet after u finish all those chalupas!" Cid insulted
"EWWWW" everyone said.
"EWWWW said everyone else.
"Hey everyone! meet everyone!" Matt said
"hi, I'm everyone, nice to meet you everyone!"
"same here. from everyone to everyone it's always fun to meet new
people"
"yeah" said everyone. so how's everyone doing?"
"everyone's fine, how about you everyone?"
"oh I'm ok."
"great, well everyone, lets get going."
"where are we going?
"not you everyone, just everyone"
"oh ok."
"well new subject." Callie said
"yes? what is it?" new subject answered
"OI!!!!!!!!!!" Callie yelled.
"hey WHAT IS THAT??????? AND WHO IS THAT???????? AND
WHEEEEEEEERE ARE WE???" Matt said secretly trying to set up perfectly
to Callie's great idea...
"That was dumb." said Sephiroth. 'And I would like to point
out that Cloud is once again not wearing any pants, and that it is
bothering me."
"Don't call Matt dumb!" said Callie. "Cloud-chan, put your
pants on."
"Duh, Cloud want Gap khakis." said Cloud.
"BASTARD! The Gap not only sells ugly preppy clothes, but they
use CHILD LABOR!" Callie said, outraged.
"HEY! let's kill the Gap!" said Barret excitedly.
"YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THE GAP!" Selphie screamed,
jumping up and down.
"Don't we all hate those tea-less motherfuckers?" Cid asked
the assembled group.
"YES!" screamed all the people.
"They're even worse than Sega!" said Matt.
"The clothes are ugly and overpriced!" Irvine agreed.
"All their clothes look the same no matter what they are!" said
Tifa. 'And their shirts are all too small for me!"
"I'm not surprised!" said Yuffie.
"Shut up, Ninja Skank."
"Make me, Breast Bitch."
"Enough, you two." said Laguna, stepping between the two
girls. "Don't get Cloud started on his 'boobies' thing again."
Everyone looked at Cloud, who was busy trying to make friends
with a rock he'd found stuck in the bottom of his shoe.
"Good idea." said Yuffie.
"ANYWAYS. Shall we go to the Gap?" asked Vincent.
"YES!" all the people screamed, and headed for the Gap....
::KILL KILL KILL!!! Uhhhh...next time, on...UGLY WUSSASS
TUXEDO KAMEN!::
"Here is Gap!" Cloud pointed out.
"WOOHOO! SMASH TIME" Everyone yelled.
"Wait people!" Remlap interrupted. "The sign says the store is
closed!"
"AND WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN TO US??" Callie yelled.
"Well I uh, we cant smash the store while they're not open!"
There was a silence for about 5 seconds, then...
SMASH SMASH SMASH
"Ok, our work here is DONE!" Yuffie huffed.
"What? you don't huff, Yuffie!" Everyone started to beat on Yuffie
for huffing.
"Anyways, um, maybe we should tear down the store!"
"YEAH! It's much funner than SMASHing Remlap!"
SMASH SMASH SMASH
"THERE! NO MORE ICKY ICKY GAP!" Callie yelled.
"Now what?" Barret asked.
"ONTO KFC!!!" Matt insisted.
Cloud sighed, then passed out.
"OH, MY GOD! CLOUD'S GOT SHADOW MADNESS!" Callie yelled.
"That game blows!" said Sephiroth. "I named everyone things
like Froot Loop and spent an hour and a half killing them all
constantly."
"WHAT ABOUT KFC?" Matt asked loudly. "Cuz I don't like it
there neither."
"Can I wake Cloud up first?" Tifa asked. Everyone nodded. Tifa
gathered all the girls around her and whispered to them. The girls
started smiling as they dragged Cloud off behind a convenient Dumpster.
There was silence for ten minutes.
Then, some giggles erupted from behind the Dumpster.
Five more minutes of silence, then...
An ecstatic scream of
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOBIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!" was heard from behind
the Dumpster.
"That must be Cloud." Barret observed.
"Oh, thank you, Captain Obvious." Sephiroth said sarcastically.
"What happened to the keyboard?" asked someone.
"I don't know. I think it's fixed now." someone answered back,
then threw up.
Cloud was now VERY awake, and was jittering on the ground.
Tifa, Selphie, Yuffie, and Callie all looked extremely pleased with
themselves.
"Okay, who did it?" asked Sephiroth.
Tifa pointed at Callie who pointed at Yuffie who pointed at
Selphie who pointed at Tifa. "Group effort." all four girls said at
once, then giggled.
Several men averted their eyes politely.
Cloud was stuck in a Happy Meal box.
"Hey everyone look! Cloud is stuck in a happy meal box!" Cid
yelled.
"Quite odd, don't you think?" Matt said.
"I mean, us being at KFC and all. I didn't know they made happy
meals here."
"Oh well!" Callie said
Suddenly, a tsunami wave of clear liquid was headed toward them.
"WTF IS THAT?!" Everyone wondered.
"oh don't worry," Said Cid, "that's just the left over oil from
KFC. I guess they ordered too much.
"That CANNOT be good for my hair!" Aeris insisted.
Everyone started running away, but contact was imminent.
"HUH HEY EVERYONE! I AM NOT A SURFER!" Said keanu reeves as he
surfed by them on the giant wave of oil.
"Uh, did anyone else see that?" Matt asked.
"See WHAT?" Everyone responded.
"Uh-oh..." Matt stopped running and said "BYE" to everyone.
"what is HIS problem?" Barret asked.
"Who cares...KEEP RUNNING!"
what will happen to the group?! what will become of tai and matt?! and
why do their digimon evolve 100 times every episode?!?!?!?! and why
did matt see a keanu reeves? find out next time on EVIL!!!!!!!!
"MATT! Get back here! Aeris is dead!" Barret yelled.
"Whoops." said Matt. 'So? So is, like, Sephiroth, and he's here."
"I have Cool Sexyass Villainous Immunity!" Sephiroth
announced. "I'm, like, the most popular Square character ever."
"I...FUCKING...HATE...KEANU...REEVES." Callie said with a look
of extreme rage and fury in her eyes.
"Uh-oh, Callie looks enraged and furious." said Laguna.
"Put on your crash helmets, kiddies!" Irvine gulped.
Callie had turned bright purple. She started glowing. A
gigantic spork appeared in her hands.
Keanu Reeves stood there and picked his nose.
"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Callie screamed, and bludgeoned Keanu Reeves to death with the spork.
"Wow, she's pissed." Cid observed.
"Yeah, she had to watch 'Little Buddha' in History class."
Sephiroth told him. "Tragic."
Cloud removed the Happy Meal box and threw it into the
oil-covered KFC. The combination of chemicals from his hair gel and
the chicken's supernasty grease caused the KFC to evaporate into
nothingness.
"GOOD BOY, CLOUD!" everyone said at once.
"Tee hee! When Cloud have boobies, Cloud am thinking good!"
Cloud said. "Two plus two equals pie!"
"I take that back." said Selphie.
"Take what back?" Asked Cloud.
"OI! NEVERMIND!" Callie said frustrated.
"duh heehee okay!"
"well anyways!" Matt said "I think we have another mission."
"I PITY THE MISSION!" Barret yelled.
"I'm sure you do Barret. Now lets continue with the mission!" Matt
yelled.
"CLOUD AM FLYING!" Cloud yelled as he got swept away by a giant
hurricane.
"AhEM! As i was saying!...the mission is..........TO THE CD W
RAPPER FACTORY PLACES!!!" Matt said aggressively.
"YEAH!" Everyone yelled.
"WAIT!" said Sephiroth wisely. "That wrapping is there for a
purpose you morons!"
"EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"
"Well DUH...NOT ONLY IS THAT WRAPPER FOR MORE PROTECTION FROM
SHOP-LIFTERS, BUT THE ENDS GRIND AGAINST EACH OTHER WITHOUT IT IF THE
CASE OPENS THE LEAST! THAT MEANS IT'LL BE WORN OUT"
"oh ok anyways lets go eat tofu that Callie made" Cid said.
"yeah! and don't burn it like matt does!" Vincent added
"You guys! That's not tofu! That's toenail CLIPPINGS!" yelped Irvine.
Everyone turned lovely shades of green.
"I have a better mission!" Callie said. 'Eeew, this tofu is burned."
"Well, I told you!" said Matt.
"So, what's the mission, oh Sporky One?" asked Selphie.
"TO FIND ME SOME BLUE LIPSTICK!" Callie said, jumping up and down
in excitement. 'And here to help is...MANA!"
Mana walked over and glared at everyone.
"He's freaky!" Yuffie announced.
"HE?????" asked everyone else.
"Dude, look at those tight pants!' said Yuffie. 'Of course it's a 'he',
unless it's a 'she' who's smuggling ears of corn."
"That is far too much information for me." announced Laguna. "I would
rather eat this burned Tofu crap."
"IT'S NOT CRAP!" yelled Matt.
Cloud crashed into the side of a nearby building.
"He's stupid." said Mana.
"God, I love this guy already." said Sephiroth.
"I don't! He isn't very manly!' said Tifa. 'I can't sleep with someone
who isn't 99 percent solid muscle!"
"Thank god." said Mana.
"I REALLY like this guy!"
"I um...I like, like...I like cheese?" Matt hoped.
"MATT! NO ONE CARES ALREADY!" Yuffie yelled.
"HEY! DON'T TALK TO MATT THAT WAY!" Barret yelled.
"YEAH!" Said Matt's bouncer bug.
"ok, another mission?" Squall asked.
"Not for you FOO!" Barret yelled.
"Hmmhmmhmm" Sephiroth laughed to himself.
"OK! WERE GOING TO THE SPIDER FACTORY TO KILL ALL THE SPIDERS!"
Matt insisted.
"Uh, Matt, I don't think spiders are created in a factory."
Callie said
"Yeah they are! By the government!" Matt protested.
"ok, LET'S GO!"
"Woohoo!"
"uh um uh er huh huh CLOUD HAVE CRAVING FOR CHOCOLATE FILLED
ASPARAGUS!"
"wow...a thought...I guess he was right about the boobies." Cid
said.
Just then...SLASH, SLASH...2 bright flashes of light and SUPER
KUSANAGI slid out in front of them, leaving a faint trail of smoke in
her trail.
"YES! I KNEW U WOULD BE IN THIS FANFIC!" Matt was happy as a clam
that wasn't being boiled to a slightly dark shade of brown and eaten
with ketchup and therefore insulting the cook who spent hours slaving
over the hot stove making them.
"Hey kid..." Kusanagi walked straight up close to Matt. He was
admiring her bright shiny flashy hair and perfectly created cyborg
enhanced body.
"Uhh uhhhh umm drool?"
"This is where you guys stop...I was sent here to guard the spider
factory...and NOTHING will keep me from that half a mil. bonus...so
either change your paths, or prepare to be buried!"
"WHAT WOW CLOUD ME SCARED WHAT'S GOING ON?" Cloud stuck his head
in the ground, thinking he was safe from all harm.
"Matt! This is turning into a GITS story!" Callie yelled at Matt.
"OH! RIGHT!"
Suddenly, Barret spilled his cheese on the floor and the janitor
swept it up and beat Barret on the head with a push up bra then
Sephiroth turned into an egg and ate some peanut butter M&Ms and
Barret built a Lego cheese block with yellow blocks and Callie and
matt ate some sugar and squall was in the sugar and he was saying
don't eat me and matt ate him and Selphie started riding a giant
cactus riding a train being held by a guy with a lot of arms and then
Japan was happy and PlayStation2 REIGNED AS THE BEST SYSTEM IN THE
WORLD and matt assassinated bill gates and ate his donuts
"duh huh cloud have weapons!"
"no you idiot!"
"what do we do?" Barret asked
"um, be very still, maybe it can't see us if we stay still."
Remlap responded
"YOU IDIOT! THAT'S A T-REX!" Callie pointed out
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!" Matt yelled. "IT'S MY AC FROM MY LAST ARMORED
CORE GAME! IF IM CORRECT, ITS NAME SHOULD BE MAGMA AND IT SHOULD HAVE
A DOUBLE-"
"ok lets get out of here" Sephiroth interjected.
everyone walked away, leaving Matt babbling on about some
important ac that no one cared about.
"CHHTFFFTPSHCHA! fine then!, I'm not going with you guys!" Matt
threatened
everyone kept walking away. "WAIT! I'M COMING WITH YOU GUYS!"
the ac followed them.
"I PITY THE AC!" Barret INSISTED.
"uh, anyone else have a hankering for some chalupas?" Cid asked.
"yeah, lets go" Tifa said.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?! TUNE IN NEXT TIME, ON """Perfectly Loud And
Yet Still Truthfully Awesome Turning Into an Obsessive Need"""
(playstation)
"DAMMIT! Stop dropping your goddamn Chalupas!" Callie yelled
at Matt and Cloud.
"Please?" asked Matt.
'Duh, but commercial say to drop the Chalupa!" Cloud said.
"TIMMY!" yelled Sephiroth, who was sitting in a motorized
wheelchair.
"AH'M GONNA KICK YOU IN DE NUTSH!" Cartman screamed.
"I HATE YOU! YOU LOOK AND ACT LIKE MY BROTHER!" Callie yelled,
and proceeded to destroy Cartman.
"Oh, my god, you killed Cartman!" said Tifa.
"About time." replied Laguna.
"CLOUD STILL NO HAVE BOOBIES!" Cloud screamed. 'CLOUD AM HERO
OF GAME, CLOUD DESERVE MUCH OF BOOBIES!"
"Oh, go play Valkyrie Wild and SHUT UP!" Callie retorted.
"Duh, that game not real."
"Too bad." said Irvine. "Looks like my kind of game."
"PERVERT!" all the girls screamed.
"Oh, I am not." said every male there.
"Liar."
"ME JUST WANT BOOBIES! ME NOT BIG FLAMING QUEEN LIKE
SEPHIROTH!" Cloud cried at the top of his lungs.
"I'm a WHAT?" Sephiroth asked, putting his hands on his chest
and batting his eyelids. "That is SOOOOOOOOO not true, you cute little
thing!"
Callie started to cry.
"Ohh, I was just kidding." Sephiroth reassured her.
Vincent burped.
"excuse me" he said.
"duh heehee cloud want to make a riff"
"CLOUD! your so dumb, the only riff you'll be making is the one
going into the toilet after u finish all those chalupas!" Cid insulted
"EWWWW" everyone said.
"EWWWW said everyone else.
"Hey everyone! meet everyone!" Matt said
"hi, I'm everyone, nice to meet you everyone!"
"same here. from everyone to everyone it's always fun to meet new
people"
"yeah" said everyone. so how's everyone doing?"
"everyone's fine, how about you everyone?"
"oh I'm ok."
"great, well everyone, lets get going."
"where are we going?
"not you everyone, just everyone"
"oh ok."
"well new subject." Callie said
"yes? what is it?" new subject answered
"OI!!!!!!!!!!" Callie yelled.
"hey WHAT IS THAT??????? AND WHO IS THAT???????? AND
WHEEEEEEEERE ARE WE???" Matt said secretly trying to set up perfectly
to Callie's great idea...
"That was dumb." said Sephiroth. 'And I would like to point
out that Cloud is once again not wearing any pants, and that it is
bothering me."
"Don't call Matt dumb!" said Callie. "Cloud-chan, put your
pants on."
"Duh, Cloud want Gap khakis." said Cloud.
"BASTARD! The Gap not only sells ugly preppy clothes, but they
use CHILD LABOR!" Callie said, outraged.
"HEY! let's kill the Gap!" said Barret excitedly.
"YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THE GAP!" Selphie screamed,
jumping up and down.
"Don't we all hate those tea-less motherfuckers?" Cid asked
the assembled group.
"YES!" screamed all the people.
"They're even worse than Sega!" said Matt.
"The clothes are ugly and overpriced!" Irvine agreed.
"All their clothes look the same no matter what they are!" said
Tifa. 'And their shirts are all too small for me!"
"I'm not surprised!" said Yuffie.
"Shut up, Ninja Skank."
"Make me, Breast Bitch."
"Enough, you two." said Laguna, stepping between the two
girls. "Don't get Cloud started on his 'boobies' thing again."
Everyone looked at Cloud, who was busy trying to make friends
with a rock he'd found stuck in the bottom of his shoe.
"Good idea." said Yuffie.
"ANYWAYS. Shall we go to the Gap?" asked Vincent.
"YES!" all the people screamed, and headed for the Gap....
::KILL KILL KILL!!! Uhhhh...next time, on...UGLY WUSSASS
TUXEDO KAMEN!::
"Here is Gap!" Cloud pointed out.
"WOOHOO! SMASH TIME" Everyone yelled.
"Wait people!" Remlap interrupted. "The sign says the store is
closed!"
"AND WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN TO US??" Callie yelled.
"Well I uh, we cant smash the store while they're not open!"
There was a silence for about 5 seconds, then...
SMASH SMASH SMASH
"Ok, our work here is DONE!" Yuffie huffed.
"What? you don't huff, Yuffie!" Everyone started to beat on Yuffie
for huffing.
"Anyways, um, maybe we should tear down the store!"
"YEAH! It's much funner than SMASHing Remlap!"
SMASH SMASH SMASH
"THERE! NO MORE ICKY ICKY GAP!" Callie yelled.
"Now what?" Barret asked.
"ONTO KFC!!!" Matt insisted.
Cloud sighed, then passed out.
"OH, MY GOD! CLOUD'S GOT SHADOW MADNESS!" Callie yelled.
"That game blows!" said Sephiroth. "I named everyone things
like Froot Loop and spent an hour and a half killing them all
constantly."
"WHAT ABOUT KFC?" Matt asked loudly. "Cuz I don't like it
there neither."
"Can I wake Cloud up first?" Tifa asked. Everyone nodded. Tifa
gathered all the girls around her and whispered to them. The girls
started smiling as they dragged Cloud off behind a convenient Dumpster.
There was silence for ten minutes.
Then, some giggles erupted from behind the Dumpster.
Five more minutes of silence, then...
An ecstatic scream of
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOBIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!" was heard from behind
the Dumpster.
"That must be Cloud." Barret observed.
"Oh, thank you, Captain Obvious." Sephiroth said sarcastically.
"What happened to the keyboard?" asked someone.
"I don't know. I think it's fixed now." someone answered back,
then threw up.
Cloud was now VERY awake, and was jittering on the ground.
Tifa, Selphie, Yuffie, and Callie all looked extremely pleased with
themselves.
"Okay, who did it?" asked Sephiroth.
Tifa pointed at Callie who pointed at Yuffie who pointed at
Selphie who pointed at Tifa. "Group effort." all four girls said at
once, then giggled.
Several men averted their eyes politely.
Cloud was stuck in a Happy Meal box.
"Hey everyone look! Cloud is stuck in a happy meal box!" Cid
yelled.
"Quite odd, don't you think?" Matt said.
"I mean, us being at KFC and all. I didn't know they made happy
meals here."
"Oh well!" Callie said
Suddenly, a tsunami wave of clear liquid was headed toward them.
"WTF IS THAT?!" Everyone wondered.
"oh don't worry," Said Cid, "that's just the left over oil from
KFC. I guess they ordered too much.
"That CANNOT be good for my hair!" Aeris insisted.
Everyone started running away, but contact was imminent.
"HUH HEY EVERYONE! I AM NOT A SURFER!" Said keanu reeves as he
surfed by them on the giant wave of oil.
"Uh, did anyone else see that?" Matt asked.
"See WHAT?" Everyone responded.
"Uh-oh..." Matt stopped running and said "BYE" to everyone.
"what is HIS problem?" Barret asked.
"Who cares...KEEP RUNNING!"
what will happen to the group?! what will become of tai and matt?! and
why do their digimon evolve 100 times every episode?!?!?!?! and why
did matt see a keanu reeves? find out next time on EVIL!!!!!!!!
"MATT! Get back here! Aeris is dead!" Barret yelled.
"Whoops." said Matt. 'So? So is, like, Sephiroth, and he's here."
"I have Cool Sexyass Villainous Immunity!" Sephiroth
announced. "I'm, like, the most popular Square character ever."
"I...FUCKING...HATE...KEANU...REEVES." Callie said with a look
of extreme rage and fury in her eyes.
"Uh-oh, Callie looks enraged and furious." said Laguna.
"Put on your crash helmets, kiddies!" Irvine gulped.
Callie had turned bright purple. She started glowing. A
gigantic spork appeared in her hands.
Keanu Reeves stood there and picked his nose.
"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Callie screamed, and bludgeoned Keanu Reeves to death with the spork.
"Wow, she's pissed." Cid observed.
"Yeah, she had to watch 'Little Buddha' in History class."
Sephiroth told him. "Tragic."
Cloud removed the Happy Meal box and threw it into the
oil-covered KFC. The combination of chemicals from his hair gel and
the chicken's supernasty grease caused the KFC to evaporate into
nothingness.
"GOOD BOY, CLOUD!" everyone said at once.
"Tee hee! When Cloud have boobies, Cloud am thinking good!"
Cloud said. "Two plus two equals pie!"
"I take that back." said Selphie.
"Take what back?" Asked Cloud.
"OI! NEVERMIND!" Callie said frustrated.
"duh heehee okay!"
"well anyways!" Matt said "I think we have another mission."
"I PITY THE MISSION!" Barret yelled.
"I'm sure you do Barret. Now lets continue with the mission!" Matt
yelled.
"CLOUD AM FLYING!" Cloud yelled as he got swept away by a giant
hurricane.
"AhEM! As i was saying!...the mission is..........TO THE CD W
RAPPER FACTORY PLACES!!!" Matt said aggressively.
"YEAH!" Everyone yelled.
"WAIT!" said Sephiroth wisely. "That wrapping is there for a
purpose you morons!"
"EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"
"Well DUH...NOT ONLY IS THAT WRAPPER FOR MORE PROTECTION FROM
SHOP-LIFTERS, BUT THE ENDS GRIND AGAINST EACH OTHER WITHOUT IT IF THE
CASE OPENS THE LEAST! THAT MEANS IT'LL BE WORN OUT"
"oh ok anyways lets go eat tofu that Callie made" Cid said.
"yeah! and don't burn it like matt does!" Vincent added
"You guys! That's not tofu! That's toenail CLIPPINGS!" yelped Irvine.
Everyone turned lovely shades of green.
"I have a better mission!" Callie said. 'Eeew, this tofu is burned."
"Well, I told you!" said Matt.
"So, what's the mission, oh Sporky One?" asked Selphie.
"TO FIND ME SOME BLUE LIPSTICK!" Callie said, jumping up and down
in excitement. 'And here to help is...MANA!"
Mana walked over and glared at everyone.
"He's freaky!" Yuffie announced.
"HE?????" asked everyone else.
"Dude, look at those tight pants!' said Yuffie. 'Of course it's a 'he',
unless it's a 'she' who's smuggling ears of corn."
"That is far too much information for me." announced Laguna. "I would
rather eat this burned Tofu crap."
"IT'S NOT CRAP!" yelled Matt.
Cloud crashed into the side of a nearby building.
"He's stupid." said Mana.
"God, I love this guy already." said Sephiroth.
"I don't! He isn't very manly!' said Tifa. 'I can't sleep with someone
who isn't 99 percent solid muscle!"
"Thank god." said Mana.
"I REALLY like this guy!"
"I um...I like, like...I like cheese?" Matt hoped.
"MATT! NO ONE CARES ALREADY!" Yuffie yelled.
"HEY! DON'T TALK TO MATT THAT WAY!" Barret yelled.
"YEAH!" Said Matt's bouncer bug.
"ok, another mission?" Squall asked.
"Not for you FOO!" Barret yelled.
"Hmmhmmhmm" Sephiroth laughed to himself.
"OK! WERE GOING TO THE SPIDER FACTORY TO KILL ALL THE SPIDERS!"
Matt insisted.
"Uh, Matt, I don't think spiders are created in a factory."
Callie said
"Yeah they are! By the government!" Matt protested.
"ok, LET'S GO!"
"Woohoo!"
"uh um uh er huh huh CLOUD HAVE CRAVING FOR CHOCOLATE FILLED
ASPARAGUS!"
"wow...a thought...I guess he was right about the boobies." Cid
said.
Just then...SLASH, SLASH...2 bright flashes of light and SUPER
KUSANAGI slid out in front of them, leaving a faint trail of smoke in
her trail.
"YES! I KNEW U WOULD BE IN THIS FANFIC!" Matt was happy as a clam
that wasn't being boiled to a slightly dark shade of brown and eaten
with ketchup and therefore insulting the cook who spent hours slaving
over the hot stove making them.
"Hey kid..." Kusanagi walked straight up close to Matt. He was
admiring her bright shiny flashy hair and perfectly created cyborg
enhanced body.
"Uhh uhhhh umm drool?"
"This is where you guys stop...I was sent here to guard the spider
factory...and NOTHING will keep me from that half a mil. bonus...so
either change your paths, or prepare to be buried!"
"WHAT WOW CLOUD ME SCARED WHAT'S GOING ON?" Cloud stuck his head
in the ground, thinking he was safe from all harm.
"Matt! This is turning into a GITS story!" Callie yelled at Matt.
"OH! RIGHT!"
Suddenly, Barret spilled his cheese on the floor and the janitor
swept it up and beat Barret on the head with a push up bra then
Sephiroth turned into an egg and ate some peanut butter M&Ms and
Barret built a Lego cheese block with yellow blocks and Callie and
matt ate some sugar and squall was in the sugar and he was saying
don't eat me and matt ate him and Selphie started riding a giant
cactus riding a train being held by a guy with a lot of arms and then
Japan was happy and PlayStation2 REIGNED AS THE BEST SYSTEM IN THE
WORLD and matt assassinated bill gates and ate his donuts