Okay, I don't know about you people, but I think my writing has been a little below my usual quality lately. So... I'm gonna try to make this one as good as the originals. I refer to chapters 1 to 8 as 'the originals.' They just seem to be good, and after 8 it seems to me like my writing started getting a little worse. I'm hoping this one'll be good though. Anyways, in the song lyrics, ____ basically means that I didn't quite understand the word. By the way. As I'm writing this, I'm feeling pissed off, and depressed, too. As if you care. Hell, I doubt anyones reading this. If anyone is, I don't know they are, because I haven't gotten any reiews in a while. Argh... I talk way too damn much. On with the fic....
Papa bear looked at Mama bear, and Mama bear looked at Baby bear, and Baby bear looked at the author. "Why the hell are you here?" Papa bear asked. "We're trying to eat our porridge, you moron." (Did I spell that right?) "The author glared at Papa bear. "I'm here to discuss something with you." Papa bear eyed the author suspiciously. "Like what?" "Like that I'm trying to write a fanfic, and I don't have any ideas on how to open it. So I was wondering if you had any ideas." Papa bear nodded his head. "I've got an idea. Start it with 'Once upon a time...' Now leave!" The author left and went over the river and through the woods, but then he took a detour, and so he ended up at his house instead of Grandmothers. "Hey, it's those three blind mice again..." He said as he saw the mice scurrying around on the floor. "I'll put one on the clock and see if it'll hickory-dickory-dock. Hehehe... That reminds me of something... When I see a really cute guy, I get a very stickery-dickery-cock... Er... Well, I'll begin the fic now..."
Once upon a time, five gundam pilots, a stencil maker/chef, and an elderly old fart named Heesa Homo ran from Disney Land after knocking out an evil chipmunk set on killing them all. It was a very dark and stormy night. No, wait... It wasn't night. It was early in the morning. Well, it was a dark and stormy morning... Yeah, that works. It was a dark and stormy morning, and they all ran around like blind mice until they found their car. They all piled into the car and drove like the wind. Heero was driving, so he instinctively went to the place he always went when there was trouble. He drove, crying 'wee, wee', all the way home. When he pulled into his driveway, the car broke down, and though they tried all day, all the gundam pilots and stencil-maker/chefs couldn't put (DAMN IT!!! Who's car did they take? Uh...) Duos car back together again. But then Goldilocks, the 7 year old mechanic from next door, came over with a basket of hamsters for Heero and saw that they needed help with the car. So she put it back together again. Then, all of a sudden, the cliches stopped. For about 2 seconds.
//They're my indian inlaws,
came to visit me an' my squaw.
Been here for a month y'all,
I'm 'bout to lose my mind.//
Heero carried Duo into his house, and the others followed him inside. "Somebody get a cup of cold water to pour on him or something." Heero suggested. Trowel did as he said and then tossed the water onto Duo. "It didn't work..." Trowel noted. "Um... Get a piece of pizza." Duo jumped up, his eyes wide open. "Did somebody say pizza? I heard pizza. I'm hungry!" Then the doorbell rang..... Duo opened the door and saw a girl sscout holding a box of cookies. "Hello, would... You aren't Heero. Who are you? Are you his friend?" Duo grinned. "Nope. I'm his boyfriend." Duo grabbed Heero and kissed him. "Eeeeewww!!! You're gross!" The girl said before running away. "That's the best way I know of to get rid of girl scouts." Duo closed the door, but as soon as he did so, there was another knock. He opened the door again. "Why did you scare my daughter?" A furious woman asked, looking like she was ready to rip Duos head off. "Uh..." Duo kissed Heero again, and the woman ran away. "Works on mothers of girl scouts, too." Then there was another knock...
//I'm sick and tired of her papa,
eatin' all of my bear claws.
While he's watchin' old heehaws
and drinkin' all my wine.//
Heero grabbed Duos hand before it reached the doorknob. "No. I'm answering the door this time." Heero opened the door, and standing right in front of him was Duos mother and father. "Hi. What do you want?" Emma and Uno entered the house. "Well, it got really lonely at our house with mom gone and Zero dead. So we decided we'd move in with you, our favorite son-in-law!" Heero sighed. "Do you have any kids other than Duo?" Emma shook her head. "Has Duo married any guys other than me?" Emma shook her head again. "Then how can I possibly be your favorite son-in-law? I'm your only son-in-law!" Emma frowned. "Now, that's now way to talk to your mother-in-law. Go to your room, young man!" Heero smiled. "Nope. I don't have to. This is MY house." Emma glared at him. "And you can go to YOUR room. NOW." Heero ran out of the room. He entered after a few seconds and glared at Emma. "I don't have to. You aren't the boss of me." Emma glared back. "You're grounded for a week!" Heero grinned. "You can't ground me." Emma was beginning to get angry. "If you don't start being nicer, I'm going to make you and Duo sleep in seperate rooms." Heero frowned. "Okay, fine... By the way, you look lovely in that dress. I like what you've done with your hair, it really brings out your eyes. You're the bestest mother-in-law in the whole wide world."
//I'm gonna scalp her mama,
makin' long distance phone calls,
to her friends in Arkansas,
talkin' on my dime.//
Emma smiled. "Awww... That's nice of you. But I don't look that good..." "You're right, you don't." Emma glared at Heero. "Uh, er, I meant... Well, I meant that you're right, because you don't look that good, you look even better!" Emma smiled again. "Just keep kissing my ass like that and we'll get along just fine." Duo thought hard, and then tapped his mom on the shoulder. "Leave Heero alone, or I'll make you go on a diet. Nothing but salads, all day long. And you'll have to do lots of excercise, too." Emma began crying. "NO! Not a diet! I'll be nice to Heero! I promise!"
//They're my indian inlaws,
they're drivin me up the dang wall
usin' all of my dental floss,
and leave the room smellin' bad.//
Heero grinned. "Wow... He can make girl scouts run in fear... He can make the mothers of girl scouts run at speeds of up to 200 miles per hour... He can even make his own mother shake in her shoes... He is... Duo Maxwell!" Duo smiled. "He can threaten to kill large quantities of people... He doesn't eat nearly as much as me... He never changes clothes... He is... My Heero!" Heero blushed. Duo kissed Heero, and Emma hid behind her husband. "Hey... You aren't the mother of a girl scout, you shouldn't do that." Emma showed Duo several of her girl scout badges. "Oh... You're a girl scout... Suddenly it all makes sense."
//They moved into my wigwam,
god al mighty they're big ones.
They order filet mignons,
and stick me with the tab.
They're hanging round my teepee
can't wear my buffalo briefs,
aint had me no whoopie
since week before last.//
Uno ran and leapt onto the couch. "You have satellite! Wow!" Heero nodded his head. "The remotes right next to you, knock yourself out." Uno frowned and then slammed his head into the wall, knocking himself unconcious. "Your dad takes things way too literally, Duo." Duo nodded his head in agreement. Then Emma thought of something. "Duo... You can't make me go on a diet even if I'm not nice to Heero." Duo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. And why's that?" Emma grinned. "Simple. If you're under 18, you can't marry without your parents' consent." Duo smiled. "How dumb are you?" Emmas confusion showed clearly on her face. "If you try to keep the wedding from happening... Well, then I'll have to call the one person who can convince you very quickly to let me marry Heero. I'll call Peg Bundy on you."
//They're my indian inlaws,
hooked on x-lax and geritall, (Uh... I don't really know how the hell to spell those, so please don't sue me.)
have to run 'em to the shoppin' mall
four times a day.
(every single day seven days a week my nerves are about shot. They are worryin' me to death!)
Sittin' there clippin' toenails,
chain smokin' them pal mails,
wish they'd get them a motel,
but they're too cheap to pay.
Pretty soon if they don't leave,
I'll take a pipe and pop his knee
like Tanya did Nancy.
They're skatin' on thin ice.//
Emma stared at her son in shock. "But... But... Damn you! This should not be the way it is... People should not have control of their parents, it should be the reerse. I should be able to ground you, and make you go on diets, and make you excersize, and make Peg Bundy attack you and stuff... It's unfair!" Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you know, if you'd just get along with Heero... I wouldn't have to make all of these threats." Emma glared at Heero. "It's all your fault... You corrupted my little boy! I'll get you, and your little dog too!" Duo Glared at Emma. "Aw, crap... Alright, I'm sorry... I'll be nice to Heero..."
//I'll take my bow and arrow,
pretend I'm shootin' at a sparrow,
I might miss it, uh-oh,
hit her mommas behind.
They're my indian inlaws,
might be kin to Tim McGraw
but they ain't kin to me, naw,
might have to leave my wife.
'Cause my indian inlaws
came to visit me an' my squaw,
been here for a month y'all
'bout to lose my mind.//
One Day Later....
Duo had decided to take Heero, Quarter, and Trowel on a little road trip. And so they left Gufei, Trace, and Heesa behind with Duos parents and left at 9 AM. "Uh, Duo, where exactly are we going?" Trowel asked. "I dunno. I guess we'll figure that out when we get there." At that, Quarter held on tightly to Trowel and closed his eyes tightly. Trowel listened closely and heard Quarter whispering "Please don't let me die..." Over and over again. Then there was a ringing from somewhere in the car. "Hmmm... Someone called me on my cellphone... I wonder who it is?" Duo wondered aloud as he picked up the phone...
//(1 little 2 little 3 little indians, 4 little 5 little 6 little indians, 7 little 8 little 9 little indians, 10 little indian inlaws.)(Oh no, here comes her brother,and her other brother, and then there's her sister brought her aunt Essie with her, and she's got two kids and they brought two friends, the whole tribes a comin'! Couldn't they just have made a reservation?!?)//
Hehehe... Ahem... This concludes the 13th chapter of Christmas, Christmas. Be sure to continue looking for more, 'cause I just got 9 new songs to base my chapters on. Hehehe... Uhm... Bye!
Papa bear looked at Mama bear, and Mama bear looked at Baby bear, and Baby bear looked at the author. "Why the hell are you here?" Papa bear asked. "We're trying to eat our porridge, you moron." (Did I spell that right?) "The author glared at Papa bear. "I'm here to discuss something with you." Papa bear eyed the author suspiciously. "Like what?" "Like that I'm trying to write a fanfic, and I don't have any ideas on how to open it. So I was wondering if you had any ideas." Papa bear nodded his head. "I've got an idea. Start it with 'Once upon a time...' Now leave!" The author left and went over the river and through the woods, but then he took a detour, and so he ended up at his house instead of Grandmothers. "Hey, it's those three blind mice again..." He said as he saw the mice scurrying around on the floor. "I'll put one on the clock and see if it'll hickory-dickory-dock. Hehehe... That reminds me of something... When I see a really cute guy, I get a very stickery-dickery-cock... Er... Well, I'll begin the fic now..."
Once upon a time, five gundam pilots, a stencil maker/chef, and an elderly old fart named Heesa Homo ran from Disney Land after knocking out an evil chipmunk set on killing them all. It was a very dark and stormy night. No, wait... It wasn't night. It was early in the morning. Well, it was a dark and stormy morning... Yeah, that works. It was a dark and stormy morning, and they all ran around like blind mice until they found their car. They all piled into the car and drove like the wind. Heero was driving, so he instinctively went to the place he always went when there was trouble. He drove, crying 'wee, wee', all the way home. When he pulled into his driveway, the car broke down, and though they tried all day, all the gundam pilots and stencil-maker/chefs couldn't put (DAMN IT!!! Who's car did they take? Uh...) Duos car back together again. But then Goldilocks, the 7 year old mechanic from next door, came over with a basket of hamsters for Heero and saw that they needed help with the car. So she put it back together again. Then, all of a sudden, the cliches stopped. For about 2 seconds.
//They're my indian inlaws,
came to visit me an' my squaw.
Been here for a month y'all,
I'm 'bout to lose my mind.//
Heero carried Duo into his house, and the others followed him inside. "Somebody get a cup of cold water to pour on him or something." Heero suggested. Trowel did as he said and then tossed the water onto Duo. "It didn't work..." Trowel noted. "Um... Get a piece of pizza." Duo jumped up, his eyes wide open. "Did somebody say pizza? I heard pizza. I'm hungry!" Then the doorbell rang..... Duo opened the door and saw a girl sscout holding a box of cookies. "Hello, would... You aren't Heero. Who are you? Are you his friend?" Duo grinned. "Nope. I'm his boyfriend." Duo grabbed Heero and kissed him. "Eeeeewww!!! You're gross!" The girl said before running away. "That's the best way I know of to get rid of girl scouts." Duo closed the door, but as soon as he did so, there was another knock. He opened the door again. "Why did you scare my daughter?" A furious woman asked, looking like she was ready to rip Duos head off. "Uh..." Duo kissed Heero again, and the woman ran away. "Works on mothers of girl scouts, too." Then there was another knock...
//I'm sick and tired of her papa,
eatin' all of my bear claws.
While he's watchin' old heehaws
and drinkin' all my wine.//
Heero grabbed Duos hand before it reached the doorknob. "No. I'm answering the door this time." Heero opened the door, and standing right in front of him was Duos mother and father. "Hi. What do you want?" Emma and Uno entered the house. "Well, it got really lonely at our house with mom gone and Zero dead. So we decided we'd move in with you, our favorite son-in-law!" Heero sighed. "Do you have any kids other than Duo?" Emma shook her head. "Has Duo married any guys other than me?" Emma shook her head again. "Then how can I possibly be your favorite son-in-law? I'm your only son-in-law!" Emma frowned. "Now, that's now way to talk to your mother-in-law. Go to your room, young man!" Heero smiled. "Nope. I don't have to. This is MY house." Emma glared at him. "And you can go to YOUR room. NOW." Heero ran out of the room. He entered after a few seconds and glared at Emma. "I don't have to. You aren't the boss of me." Emma glared back. "You're grounded for a week!" Heero grinned. "You can't ground me." Emma was beginning to get angry. "If you don't start being nicer, I'm going to make you and Duo sleep in seperate rooms." Heero frowned. "Okay, fine... By the way, you look lovely in that dress. I like what you've done with your hair, it really brings out your eyes. You're the bestest mother-in-law in the whole wide world."
//I'm gonna scalp her mama,
makin' long distance phone calls,
to her friends in Arkansas,
talkin' on my dime.//
Emma smiled. "Awww... That's nice of you. But I don't look that good..." "You're right, you don't." Emma glared at Heero. "Uh, er, I meant... Well, I meant that you're right, because you don't look that good, you look even better!" Emma smiled again. "Just keep kissing my ass like that and we'll get along just fine." Duo thought hard, and then tapped his mom on the shoulder. "Leave Heero alone, or I'll make you go on a diet. Nothing but salads, all day long. And you'll have to do lots of excercise, too." Emma began crying. "NO! Not a diet! I'll be nice to Heero! I promise!"
//They're my indian inlaws,
they're drivin me up the dang wall
usin' all of my dental floss,
and leave the room smellin' bad.//
Heero grinned. "Wow... He can make girl scouts run in fear... He can make the mothers of girl scouts run at speeds of up to 200 miles per hour... He can even make his own mother shake in her shoes... He is... Duo Maxwell!" Duo smiled. "He can threaten to kill large quantities of people... He doesn't eat nearly as much as me... He never changes clothes... He is... My Heero!" Heero blushed. Duo kissed Heero, and Emma hid behind her husband. "Hey... You aren't the mother of a girl scout, you shouldn't do that." Emma showed Duo several of her girl scout badges. "Oh... You're a girl scout... Suddenly it all makes sense."
//They moved into my wigwam,
god al mighty they're big ones.
They order filet mignons,
and stick me with the tab.
They're hanging round my teepee
can't wear my buffalo briefs,
aint had me no whoopie
since week before last.//
Uno ran and leapt onto the couch. "You have satellite! Wow!" Heero nodded his head. "The remotes right next to you, knock yourself out." Uno frowned and then slammed his head into the wall, knocking himself unconcious. "Your dad takes things way too literally, Duo." Duo nodded his head in agreement. Then Emma thought of something. "Duo... You can't make me go on a diet even if I'm not nice to Heero." Duo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. And why's that?" Emma grinned. "Simple. If you're under 18, you can't marry without your parents' consent." Duo smiled. "How dumb are you?" Emmas confusion showed clearly on her face. "If you try to keep the wedding from happening... Well, then I'll have to call the one person who can convince you very quickly to let me marry Heero. I'll call Peg Bundy on you."
//They're my indian inlaws,
hooked on x-lax and geritall, (Uh... I don't really know how the hell to spell those, so please don't sue me.)
have to run 'em to the shoppin' mall
four times a day.
(every single day seven days a week my nerves are about shot. They are worryin' me to death!)
Sittin' there clippin' toenails,
chain smokin' them pal mails,
wish they'd get them a motel,
but they're too cheap to pay.
Pretty soon if they don't leave,
I'll take a pipe and pop his knee
like Tanya did Nancy.
They're skatin' on thin ice.//
Emma stared at her son in shock. "But... But... Damn you! This should not be the way it is... People should not have control of their parents, it should be the reerse. I should be able to ground you, and make you go on diets, and make you excersize, and make Peg Bundy attack you and stuff... It's unfair!" Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you know, if you'd just get along with Heero... I wouldn't have to make all of these threats." Emma glared at Heero. "It's all your fault... You corrupted my little boy! I'll get you, and your little dog too!" Duo Glared at Emma. "Aw, crap... Alright, I'm sorry... I'll be nice to Heero..."
//I'll take my bow and arrow,
pretend I'm shootin' at a sparrow,
I might miss it, uh-oh,
hit her mommas behind.
They're my indian inlaws,
might be kin to Tim McGraw
but they ain't kin to me, naw,
might have to leave my wife.
'Cause my indian inlaws
came to visit me an' my squaw,
been here for a month y'all
'bout to lose my mind.//
One Day Later....
Duo had decided to take Heero, Quarter, and Trowel on a little road trip. And so they left Gufei, Trace, and Heesa behind with Duos parents and left at 9 AM. "Uh, Duo, where exactly are we going?" Trowel asked. "I dunno. I guess we'll figure that out when we get there." At that, Quarter held on tightly to Trowel and closed his eyes tightly. Trowel listened closely and heard Quarter whispering "Please don't let me die..." Over and over again. Then there was a ringing from somewhere in the car. "Hmmm... Someone called me on my cellphone... I wonder who it is?" Duo wondered aloud as he picked up the phone...
//(1 little 2 little 3 little indians, 4 little 5 little 6 little indians, 7 little 8 little 9 little indians, 10 little indian inlaws.)(Oh no, here comes her brother,and her other brother, and then there's her sister brought her aunt Essie with her, and she's got two kids and they brought two friends, the whole tribes a comin'! Couldn't they just have made a reservation?!?)//
Hehehe... Ahem... This concludes the 13th chapter of Christmas, Christmas. Be sure to continue looking for more, 'cause I just got 9 new songs to base my chapters on. Hehehe... Uhm... Bye!