A/N : This is story is pretty confusing so try and understand. There are two parts. The first part is in Sirius Black's POV when he reaches the Potter house after Voldemort has finished with it. Later on, it goes to James Peter's POV earlier that day to the time he dies. Okay? And don't forget...PLEASE review even if u wanna flame me or something... =)
Disclaimer : All characters belong to J.K. Rowling and the song Flying Without Wings belongs to Westlife.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Sirius BlackI flew my motorcycle as fast as I could above the clouds. It was tired, I knew, but I couldn't stop. I was almost there...almost...almost...
I landed in front of the Potters' house...except that it wasn't a house anymore. My heart sank like a rock in the sea. Everything was gone...and it was all my fault.
I stared at the ruins, trying not to believe my eyes, but it was all too real. In front of me was a burnt mess of shattered windows, collapsed walls and a broken roof. The lingering smell of smoke and ashes hung in the air, suffocating me and springing tears to my eyes. I swiped at my eyes furiously, trying not to cry as I looked at the remains of the happy home I used to know. Gulping down huge amounts of air and my chest heaving gloomily, I leapt over the used-to-be fence and walked up the pathway, kicking stones and sand out of my way.
Before I went in, I looked up at the dark sky. It was actually a beautiful night. There were hundreds of stars twinkling down at me and the full moon shone proudly, lighting up the inky black sky. However, there was one thing that stood out the most in the majestic heavens...a big shadowy image of a cruel-looking green skull with a snake sticking out of the mouth...the Dark Mark.
*******************************************
Everybody's looking for that something,
One thing that makes it all complete.
You find it in the strangest places,
Places you never knew it could be.
*******************************************
I passed through the doorway. The floor was littered with ashes and black stuff that looked remarkably like burnt furniture. I stepped carefully across the ruined living room. There wasn't a sound except for the owls hooting overhead. It was so silent...like a grave...which it probably was.
I caught sight of a body spread-eagled across the floor in the middle of the room. I gasped in horror. I walked slowly towards it, trying to postpone the moment when I would find out who it was. It didn't matter really...I already knew.
I knelt down softly beside the corpse and grasped its hand. I gently turned its head so that it was facing me...I was right. It was James.
His face was contorted in horror, his eyes wide open in shock, and his mouth hanging slightly open. Yet, you could see that every line on his handsome face was set in determination, and his eyes were filled with bravery and courage to face Lord Voldemort.
I could feel tears coming to my eyes, and this time, I didn't bother to stop them. I felt each salty stream trickle down my cheeks, and dropping off my chin onto James' face. I could hardly believe it. James Potter, the lively grinning happy James Potter, was gone forever and ever. It would had been difficult to imagine the hyper-active James dead but there he was, lying helpless and unmoving in front of my eyes. My best friend was dead.
I scrambled to my feet and walked slowly across the room towards the kitchen, knowing perfectly well what I would find there. I was right once again. Lily Potter lay in the corner of the kitchen, a bundle in her arms. Her face too was twisted in horror but you could see the courage too in her eyes. It made more tears come to my eyes as I just stood there looking at her. I felt so horrible inside, just knowing that my two best friends were dead...all because of me.
*******************************************
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you find that special thingYou're flying without wings.
*******************************************
I heard a sound from outside. To my surprise, Hagrid walked in through the backdoor, his eyes red from crying like mine and his face so pathetic and weak for a man his size. He flashed me a weak smile and strode over towards me. He said something, I knew he did, but I couldn't hear what it was. All I could think about were James and Lily's death. I knew I couldn't blame myself, but yet, I knew if I was the Secret-Keeper, they wouldn't be dead. They wouldn't be lying there, still and statue stiff. And Harry...
I heard a muffled sound from the bundle in Lily's arms. It sounded so much like a baby's wail...
I gasped. I rushed to Lily's side and eased the bundle from her clutching hands. I unfolded the many layers of cloth and revealed a baby boy with a tuft of black hair and tears streaming down from his big green eyes. He waved his hands helplessly around and howled like a werewolf as blood trickled down the lightning shaped scar on his forehead. Harry Potter was alive!
Hagrid knelt down beside me and wiped the blood of Harry's face. How could it be? Harry, a small boy, survived the Dark Lord? That wasn't possible! Yet, Harry was there in my arms, screaming his head off. Hagrid gently took Harry from my trembling hands and carried him around, whispering gibberish noises in his ear, comforting him, saying that everything was alright.
Eventually, Harry quietened down and Hagrid took him outside, saying something about giving him a breath of fresh air. I sat down on the floor and buried my face in my hands. An image, a memory, was swirling in my mind, just out of reach. Or was it that I didn't want to reach out to grab it? It was so close...half of me wanted to break the distance and grasp it but the other half of me was afraid of what it would find there.
In the end, the first half won. It broke the barrier and the memory settled in my mind. A bright light swept over me, like when you just suddenly rush out into the daylight after being in a dark tunnel for a very long time. I felt as if I was pulled back in time, to a few years ago, in our sixth year...
******************************************
Some find it sharing every morningSome in their solitary lives
You find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry.
******************************************
"Hey! Where's my quill?" James rushed around the dorm, lifting up pillows and bed covers, trying to find his peacock feather quill. I grinned. Remus shook his head and Peter buried his face in his hands, attempting not to laugh.
"Hey! Don't just stand there!" James shouted in frustration.
"But we're sitting down!" I protested, a grin flickering over my face.
"Very funny. Now, which one of you stupid people hid my quill?"
"What makes you think we hid it?" Remus asked.
"Well, where would it go then?" James said, his hands on his hips.
"Maybe, just maybe, it's stuck to the front of your robes...?" said Peter, his face purple from trying not to laugh.
James looked down at his robes, and true enough, it was there. James sort of blushed (James never truly blushed, he always sort of blushed). He smirked at us and we started laughing.
"By the way, why were you so anxious over a cheap quill..." Remus started.
"It's not cheap!" James protested.
"Of course not..." I said slyly. I winked at James. He sort of blushed.
"Oh yeah..." Remus was hit with realization.
"It was his Christmas present..." I said, watching in amusement as James turned redder.
"Huh?" Peter said. Just like him to destroy an 'emotional' moment.
"Aww...Peter..." Remus said, shaking his head at Peter's blur comment.
"You know that James has been drooling over a certain red-head..." I started.
"I do not drool over her!" James protested.
"Anyway, this girl has red hair, 'beautiful' green eyes, so says Mr. Lover Boy here..." I continued.
"Hmph!" James grunted.
"Oh!" Finally! Peter got it. "Lily!"
"Exactly!" Remus said.
James punched me playfully on my shoulder.
"Can I help it?" James' eyes started to grow dreamy and faraway and unfocused...again...second time in one day.
"Aye, James, ye've been smitten," Remus faked a Yorkshire accent.
"Mmmm..."
"James!" I shouted in his ear, watching with amusement as he jumped up in shock.
"Okay!" James shouted back. We laughed.
"Are we ever going to finish the map?" asked Peter in a bored tone.
James waved his hand impatiently at him. "Sure we are!" he said.
"Whatever," Peter muttered. We all crouched on the floor at the foot of my bed. James spread out a piece of parchment and we all bent over it in 'deep concentration'.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," James said and tapped his wand on the parchment. Lines appeared on the parchment and wove in and out, forming our formal introduction. After that, the lines spread out from corner to corner, forming no less than a detailed map of Hogwarts with dots moving here and there representing people. It was almost done.
"Okay, look here," James said while pointing at the bottom left corner of the map. "We were here yesterday, right?"
"No...I wasn't!" Peter protested. "You left me out!"
"Well, you looked awfully cute when you were fast asleep on your itty-bitty bed so we daren't wake you up," Remus explained. Peter scowled.
"Anyway, we discovered yesterday that there was a kind of moving room, right?" James continued.
"Oh skip the Quidditch speech act and get to the point!" said Peter.
"ALRIGHT! Who's telling the story here huh? You or me?" James said, sticking out his stubborn chin.
"No comment," said Peter, smirking.
James pulled my pillow of my bed and flung it at Peter. He shrieked and jumped out of the way.
"Fine!" said Peter while grabbing his pillow and flinging it at James. James ducked and leapt up to grab a pillow.
"PILLOW FIGHT!" I announced while chasing Peter with my pillow.
"Hmmmm...Peter was right...we would never finish the map...tsk tsk..." Remus muttered while grabbing the map before it got trodden. We all laughed.
******************************************
You find it in the deepest friendships
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found your special thing
You're flying without wings.
******************************************
I felt myself being pulled back to earth.
"Hey," Hagrid said softly as he sat down beside me, Harry safe and sound in his arms. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I said, my voice gone all croaky and hoarse.
"I'll be bringin' Harry 'long wif me now," Hagrid said, getting up to his feet.
"I'm his godfather! Here, let me take him," I said.
"Can't. Dumbledore's orders," he said somewhat proudly.
"But..." I protested.
"Sorry, no can do," said Hagrid.
"Well, take my bike then," I said. "I won't be needing it anymore."
Hagrid nodded and walked out of the kitchen, carefully avoiding the bits and pieces of rubbish on the floor. A minute later, the roaring sound of my motorbike filled the air. It faded away, away, away...and the sound was gone.
I slipped to the floor and buried my face in my hands once again. Nobody trusted me anymore...not Dumbledore...not Remus...not anyone. It was stupid not to tell anyone that we switched.
You just wait, Pettigrew, I'll get you someday. You'll pay for this, you little rat! I thought you were our friend! How could you do this to Lily and James? After all we did for you, you ungrateful little cursed parasite! You cold-blooded reptile! You disgusting piece of slime! You hateful Voldemort's little toy! Didn't our friendship ever mean anything to you? Didn't anything ever mean anything to you?
Another memory struck me. It wasn't like the first one though. This just came out of the blue and replayed itself in my head.
It was more than a year ago...in James' house. We were partying like insane people...me, James, Remus, Peter, Lily and all our other friends. It was almost 12 midnight.
"Hey, everybody!" an extremely drunk Remus stood on a table and waved his hands around. "Crowd around ladies...and gentlemen...of ALL ages!"
Everybody looked at him, amused. No one had ever seen him like this before.
"Let's have a truth or dare session!!" A loud cheer rose from the crowd. Everyone herded around Remus.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched James pull Lily outside onto the balcony. I grinned slightly and tailed them.
"James?" said Lily. "What are you doing?"
I suppressed a giggle. James was walking around in circles, staring at Lily like she was a criminal in the police station.
"Um..." said James, pausing from his walking.
"James..." Lily sounded impatient.
I watched James as he thrust his hand into his pocket and fingered with something there. Aha! Here comes the P-R-O-P-O-S-A-L!
"James..." Lily eyed his hand in the pocket suspiciously. "What've you got there?"
"..."
"James!" Lily poked his side. James leapt up. (He was quite ticklish.) Lily hurriedly stuffed her hand into the pocket and drew out 'the thing' that was in there. It was...a ring. Lily was too surprised to say anything. She just stood there and gaped at the ring in her hand.
"Er...Lil'..." James started, trying unsuccessfully not to blush. "Lily, will you...will you...marry..." I giggled.
Lily's face broke out in a smile. She rushed over to James and gave him a bear hug. He looked shocked at first, then, he caught sight of me spying on them. He grinned and I winked at him. I leapt out from my hiding place and cheered and whistled as loud as I could. Lily blushed deep red.
"WhooOooOooOooOooOoo!" I grinned at them and winked, causing Lily to blush even more.
"Congratulations to our COUPLE OF THE MONTH!" I shouted. "Congrats both of you...and don't forget you to make me best man!"
James nodded. "Oh yeah, and I'd better be your first child's godfather OR ELSE!" I added. Lily smiled.
"Now..." James started.
"Well, you must have a BIG wedding party...with loads of balloons...and...and..." I continued.
"Sirius..."
"...a HUGE wedding cake...and don't forget the champagne..."
"Padfoot..."
"...oh yeah! And loads and LOADS of guests..."
"SIRIUS BLACK!!!!" I stopped and looked at James.
"Now..." James said quite calmly, "You mind?"
"No," I said. Then, it hit me. "Oh...oh...oh...okay...see you guys around after you've finished..." I made a huge kissing noise. Lily blushed.
"Go away!" James hissed angrily and pushed me outside. I smirked and turned the other way just before they started...ahem...
******************************************
So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete.
******************************************
The wedding itself wasn't much fun because James wouldn't allow me to play pranks. But it was a meaningful and sentimental experience anyhow, as you can see:
James paced the floor of the dressing room nervously as the attendant tailed after him, trying to adjust James' coat and bow.
"Chill, James," I said.
James looked up at me for a moment and then continued walking again. I sighed.
"It's just a wedding," said Peter. Uh-oh. Wrong thing to say.
"WHAT! WHAT D'YOU MEAN BY JUST A WEDDING?" James roared. Peter cowered.
"Sorry, Peter, it's just that..." James hesitated.
"S'okay, Jimmy boy," said Peter.
"And don't call me Jimmy boy," said James.
Just then, Professor Dumbledore came in and said, "James, you'd better be ready. Lily's arriving in about five minutes."
James nodded, his face slightly green. "C'mon, James," I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him out.
The church was decorated with beautiful paper streamers (my idea) and it was almost filled with guests. Everyone waved at James and winked and cheered. James settled down soon enough and greeted everyone warmly.
Sometimes, time zooms by when you're having fun right? This was one of the cases. Soon, Lily and her maidens had arrived. The green flew back to James' face.
The wedding march started playing as Lily walked down the aisle. James just stood and gaped. Well, Lily was beautiful in that white pearly gown and carrying a bouquet of flowers. They walked the rest of the aisle arm in arm up to the priest. "Mr. James Potter, do you............(yada yada yada)................." said the priest in a tone too boring for a wedding.
"I do," he answered without hesitating.
"Miss Lily Evans, do you..........(yada yada yada)......................" droned the priest.
"I do," said Lily, just as confident as her fiancée. I felt like crying...NOT!
Anyway, I caught the words "Mr. and Mrs. James Potter" and I almost broke down...almost. James tapped me on my back and started the music. Ah, just like music to cheer a person up. Besides, why should I be crying? Time to PARTAY!
The sound of whispering made me wake up from my reverie. Muggles!
"Over here! Here's the doorway!" someone said. I felt my blood boil. How could they just intrude like that, the nosy little pests? Anyway, I wanted to avoid having to explain the disaster, so I slipped out the backdoor. Saying goodbye is usually the hardest thing to do but you have to do it, right? I knew I would never see James and Lily again, or their bodies for that matter. And it would be a long time before I could see the house again.
At that moment, I knew that wizards from the Ministry were after me...for murder. And though I knew it was no use to delay, but at least I got to enjoy life a little bit longer. Goodbye James, goodbye Lily...forever and ever.
(A/N: Now, we all sit in a time machine and go back to the morning of that fated day...)
******************************************
Well, for me is waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love youAt any given time or place.
******************************************
James PotterI pried my eyes open. It was morning. Yet another boring day had come. *Sigh*
I turned over and watched Lily. She was still asleep, tired out from last night when she had to rock Harry to sleep until three o'clock in the morning. Now, it was merely seven. I watched her closely. Her eyelids were flickering gently and she was smiling in her sleep. I smiled too. She was so beautiful...
I leaned over and fingered the necklace I had given her on her birthday. It looked really good on her. I knew it as soon as I laid my eyes on it.
I yawned loudly. Suddenly, Lily's hand reached up and slapped me softly across my cheek.
"Ow!" I exclaimed in mock pain.
She opened her eyes and smirked at me. "Serves you right for waking me up."
"I did not."
"Yes you did."
"Did not!"
"Then, why am I awake?"
"'Cause your biological clock told you that it's time to wake up and make breakfast for your poor starving husband."
"What husband? I don't remember having a husband."
"Then, who am I?"
"You've forgotten too? So have I..."
"Aww...Lily...I'm hungry..."
"Who's Lily?"
"You."
"Me? But I'm James Potter."
"Sure and I'm Sirius Black."
"You remembered!"
"Uh-huh...so get up, Potter, and cook breakfast."
"Hmph! And if I don't?"
"Hmmm...I'll do this!" I dug my fingers into Lily's side and began to tickle her. She squealed.
"STOP! I'm getting up!" I stopped and put my fingers away. Looks like I underestimated her.
She leapt up and began to tickle me.
"Aargh! Stop it, Lils! STOP! S-T-O-P! STOP!!!"
She finally halted and jumped out of bed. I leapt to my feet and began to chase her. Well, I was Quidditch Chaser for some reason. I managed to corner her.
"Um...James...we're husband and wife right? Remember?" she said desperately.
"No, I don't," I said, grinning while I tickled her. She screamed and fell to the floor, tears trickling from her eyes.
Finally, I became merciful and I stopped. She was lying on the ground, crouched up like a prawn. She smiled. I smiled back at her.
******************************************
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings.
******************************************
The whole day passed by without any important or interesting events worth mentioning, except the time when Harry accidentally spilled his meal over Lily's head and this resulted in a fully-fledged food fight that lasted for about an hour.
It was almost midnight. I hated midnight and I always would. It was called the dark time for some reason. It was the time when I am most afraid and nervous particularly at that this time when Voldemort was after us.
Tonight was Halloween night that added to the scary effect. Lily was sitting by the fireplace, singing lullabies to Harry, trying to persuade him to go to sleep. Unfortunately, Harry was a nocturnal person so it was Lily who was falling asleep, not Harry.
Suddenly, I heard the front gate creaking open. I jumped up in shock and looked out of the window. It was hard to see because it was raining quite heavily. Coming out from the mist were two hooded figures, one particularly tall and the other short. Voldemort!
Desperate, I shook Lily awake and shouted, "Lily, take Harry and run! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off..."
Lily looked shocked and horrified. Her whole face went pale. She stood up, her legs shaking. She picked up Harry who had started crying and stumbled out of the room.
The door broke open with a resounding crash. A tall figure stood there, the hood covering his face, but there was no questioning who it was. He just stood there and laughed a high-pitched cold cackle of laughter, sending shivers up my spine. I fingered my wand nervously, my palm sweaty and cold.
"Stupefy!" I shouted and pointed my wand at him, but he blocked it easily.
"Trying to fight are you, Potter?" Voldemort laughed again. "Then, let's see you fight this! Crucio!"
I felt my bones and flesh burning as if I was on fire. I couldn't say a word, I couldn't move, all I could think about was the burning pain. Voldemort laughed and loosened the curse.
"Still brave are you, Potter?" he mocked. I stumbled to my feet and grasped my wand tightly in my hand.
"You...you..." I stammered.
"Crucio!"
"Aargh!" I shouted in pain. I could hear Lily gasp from the kitchen. Why wasn't she gone yet?
"Well, Potter? Do you have anything to say?"
"Just that you're nothing but a piece of slime not worth living!"
"Silence, Potter! Shall we end it now? Yes, I think so too..."
******************************************
You're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wingsAnd that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings.
******************************************
There was no stopping it now.
"Avada Kedavra!" he shouted.
There was a blast of green light and as I fell to the ground, images of my past swirled around me. I could see Sirius riding his motorcycle, Remus howling as a werewolf, Peter scampering around as a rat, and Lily...
I could see Lily smiling her dazzling smile, her angelic face looking at me, her bright green eyes filled with laughter. I remembered laughing with her, crying with her...
Finally, an eternal darkness fell over me. I couldn't see anymore, I couldn't think anymore.
'This is for you,' I thought as the distant laughter of the Marauders still rang in my ears.
A/N: The end! Hope you understand and review!