"Uh Matt? I don't think that's supposed to be there." Sephiroth
told Matt.
"I don't think so either." Matt said. "Poor Callie, little does
she know it kicked ass."
"So..." Cid started, "It seems you have a big plan, huh??"
"That's right! a BIG, SECRET ONE!"
"Oh, its a secret plan? Nevermind we don't want to hear it then."
"NOO WAIT YOU GUYS! COME ON! IM SO CLOSE TO REVEALING MY SECRET
PLAN!"
"Ok OK! Tell us your secret plan!" Callie yelled.
"WOOHOO! Okay...LET'S RAID FUNCO LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Uh, Matt I think you mis-"
"GOOD IDEA!" Callie yelled.
"ONTO FUNCO LAND!!" Matt yelled again.
"That's not a secret!" said Yuffie. "You wrote that on your
arm in red permanent marker!" Yuffie pointed to Matt's arm.
Sure enough, 'raid Funco Land" was there, right next to "change
underwear".
"Oh, yeah." said Matt. "I...uhhh...was afraid I'd forget, so..."
"Dammit!" said Callie. "Now we can't!"
"Why?"
"Because honestly, I don't know what Funco Land is." Callie
shrugged. Everyone teardropped and facefaulted and bluenosed and
chibified themselves.
"Jesus Christ, it's like an episode of Ranma in here!" Cid
complained.
"CID NO BAKA!" screamed Akane from somewhere within the
dimensions of innerspacial stupidity.
"I'm lost!" Ryouga was heard to complain.
"Ranma-husband no want violent girl..." Sephiroth mused.
"Ah, the philosophy of Rumiko Takehashi." Said irvine.
"MS Word blows hard." Selphie muttered.
Cloud had a stomachache, and ate some unpopped popcorn.
"Mmmm mmm! Yummers!"
"CLOUD!" Tifa screamed. "THAT'S NOT POPCORN, IT'S..."
"FISH GILLS!!!!!" Matt yelled. Cloud spit the fish gills all over the
place.
"Ah, ya got em o me, you idiot!"
"SHUT UP YOU!" Matt said as he ordered Barret to his room.
Everyone ate some cheddar and sour cream chips.
"Hey Matt..." Callie started, "Did you tell Barret to eat your
cheese?"
"NO I CERTAINLY DID NOT! HOLY CRAP!" Matt turned around in horror
to see Barret chomping down on the delicasy that is, MATT'S CHEESE.
"Uh oh, explosions and body counts are imminent." Cid worried.
Meanwhile, back at the fruit-rollups factory, there was a new
fruit-rollup design underway. ONE THAT EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPY TO
HAVE, ONE THAT WOULD REVOLUTIONIZE THE FRUIT-ROLLUP INDUSTRY FOREVER!
PLAIN FRUIT-ROLLUPS!!!!!!!!!!!
"Wow," Said one executive of
FAGCORPINDUSTRIESINCORPORATED corp.ind.inc. AMERICA, "This sure beats
our root-rollups, boot-rollups, suit-rollups, fruit-bowlups,
rootsutlootnplundering-rollabowlaweedups ideas."
"STOP EATING MY CHEESE, BARRET!" Matt yelled, but was powerless
to do anything as he realized he was ankle-deep in flaming hot cheetos.
"ZELL...I KNOW THIS IS YOUR DOING! ONCE I DIG MY WAY OUT,
IM COMING FOR YOU!"
Matt watched Barret.
First he started eating his cheese,
then he was almost started starting eating matt's cheese,
then he was in the middle of starting to start to eat matt's cheese,
then he was almost done starting to start eating matt's cheese,
then he finished starting to start eating matts cheese,
so he began being in the process of starting to eat matts cheese,
then he was in the process of being in the process of starting to
eat matts cheese,
then he finished being in the process and ended finalizing of
starting to eat matts cheese,
then he was ending starting eating matts cheese
then he was in the middle of starting to eat matts cheese
then he was ending the process of beginning to eat matts
delectable cheese
then he was in the middle of eating matts cheese
then he finished eating matts wonderful spiffy glowing yellow
sun-rise sun-set southern vegas wisconsinized pasturized homonizied
batterized preservativized entertained and delivered swiss ronald
mcdonald premier super duper creamy milky gooey sharp-medium-mild
mild-sharp medium- extra double tasty cheese.
Everyone was asleep by now except for Matt, who finaly struggled
free from the mass of flaming hot-cheetos surrounding his ankles and
ran in Barret's direction.
"Duh, Barret have correction? Cloud want inspection!"
"Not inspection you moron, he said erection."
"No way he said posession re-construction!"
"Like Tifa's chest?" Cloud asked.
"yeah!" Everyone agreed...even Tifa.
"BARRET! YOU SHALL BE BANISHED TO THE LAND OF THE CHIBIFIED
GNOMES!"
Barret was then banished to the land of No Land. Barret floated
around in space for a few forevers.
"OOPS! Well my um...uh banishing could use a little touching up."
Matt explained.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL CLOUD REALIZE HE HAS A COW IN HIS
PANTS? WILL THE DIGIDESTINED BE DESTINED TO WATCH ANOTHER BORING
REPEAT OF THEIR SUMMER VACATION TRIP TO THE DIGIWORLD THAT WEVE ALL
SEEN A MILLION FUCKING TIMES!!!! GODAMIT!!! THIS PISSES ME OFF!!!!! oh
uh, ON NEXT WEEKS SHOW! BE SURE TO TUNE IN. DON'T MISS IT. ITS REALLY
GONNA BE KILLER. AND UH, YEAH. DUN NUUUUUN!
"Eeeeeew!" Yuffie screamed. 'CLOUD'S FUCKING A HORSE!"
"That's a cow, you total idiot." Irvine corrected her.
"Oh, okay, then! That makes all the difference!"
Matt was lying on the floor, hugging the remains of his cheese
collection. Callie was patting his head comfortingly, and patting
Sephiroth in another area that may not have been comfortable, but was
certainly interesting.
"Ecchi!" said the readers.
Okay, fine, she patting Sephiroth on the head.
"That can still be taken two ways!"
How 'bout the upper inner thigh?
"I'm going off somewhere else. You're disgusting."
ALRIGHT, FINE! Callie was not patting Sephiroth in any way
that could be considered sexual. She was sticking sticky stickers on
his nose. Okay? Are you happy?
"A little..."
Fuck you.
"Wow, that was a really abusive inner monologue." Laguna
observed. "It made my legs hurt."
Suddenly, that stupid little bitch with the dumb pink hat who
looks like Aeris only even UGLIER ran in, screamed something about
reruns, and got flattened by Pokemon and the guys from Monster Rancher.
"My boobs ARE real!" Tifa insisted. "I'll prove it!" Tifa
grabbed Cid and pushed him into a closet.
"Okay, has anyone noticed that there are a LOT of breasts in
this fanfic?" asked Sailor Uranus.
Everyone stared.
"Wait, why am I here? SPACE SWORD BLASTER!" she screamed,
banging Cloud a good hard one on the head.
"That sounded obscene!"
Blow me!
"Uhh, why is the author screaming at nothing?" asked Matt.
Callie blushed.
Haruka left.
"Dammit, he was hot!" said Selphie, causing Sailor Moon fans
to smirk knowingly at each other.
Suddenly, the closet lit on fire. Tifa ran out, hastily
covering her naked chest with a convenient raincoat. She immediately
charged into Frederick's of Hollywood in search of a new top. Cid
followed not long after, looking dazed and shaking his head.
"Well?" asked Irvine.
"Whoa."
"Are they...?" asked Sephiroth impatiently.
"Whoa."
"Well, tell us already!" ordered Callie.
Cid just shook his head. "You won't believe it, but..." He
paused for dramatic pause.
"No! Cid being mean! Cloud want know about Tifa's boobies!"
Cloud screamed, turning purple with rage. "Cloud have right to know!
Cloud have stock in silicon!"
"She wears a minimizer." Cid said, almost choking on the words.
There was dead silence.
"You filthy rotten lousy little liar!" Yuffie gasped. "That
can't possibly be true!"
Cid turned to Yuffie with torture in his bloodshot eyes.
Slowly, he said, "It's like looking at two pink watermelons, only
saggier."
Sephiroth puked.
Callie shuddered.
Cloud was, for the first time, not interested in seeing
Tifa's "boobies".
Irvine really wanted some chicken soup.
Irvine didn't get his chicken soup because he was shackled in
a torture chamber deep underground the streets of Las Vegas.
"Well that has to suck." Matt commented.
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Cloud need find new booby source!" He looked around. His eyes
rested on Yuffie for about a quarter of a second then moved on.
"HEY! I HAVE BOOBIES!" Yuffie screamed.
"I'm SURE you do....in there....somewhere." Sephiroth said
incredulously.
"HMF! I'M LEAVING!" Yuffie stormed out of the non-existant room.
"HEY! THAT LOOK LIKE FUN!" Cloud ran and jumped from nowhere into
nowhere and went nowhere.
"OWW!"
"OW!" Matt yelped in pain.
"What's going on?" Everyone asked.
"Uh...OWW...nothing...OWW!" Matt said as Callie kept jabbing him
with a gun.
"Uh..OWW...Let''s talk about Gackt and ice cream OWW!" Matt said...
fearing for his life.
"Ok!" Selphie thought it was a good idea.
"So uh...Gackt and ice cream kick ass..." Matt said.
"No way! I hate gackt...it like, gets all messy and makes scary
noises and it comes in those weird packages!
"DUUH! NOT THAAAT GACKT!" Matt yelled.
"Anyways, veggie dip is under Callie's bed." Matt said
"Uhh...How would YOU know?" Vincent asked.
"Like...Theres a gun to my- OWW!" "Shut up! shut UP!" Callie
jabbed the gun into Matt's back again.
"Everyone disappeared except for the gelatenous space bunny in the
middle of the non-existant room."
...said the narattor. as you can tell....this fanfic is WELL OVER
WITH...as the writer cannot think of anything else to put. so JOIN US
NEXT TIME...ON......NUCLEAR GELATENOUS GOOIFIED ELECTRIFIED FISHY
BUNNY NOISES!!!!
"This sucks!" yelled the bunny, and used the Power of Plot
Contrievance to transport everyone to a big dark room.
"What the hell?"
"Who said that?"
"Me."
"Me who?"
"Me, Callie! Who am I talking to?"
"Sephiroth."
"Duhh...Cloud feel squishy boobies..."
"PERVERT!"
**slap**
"OWWWW! Cloud no like when Selphie slap Cloud!"
"&^&^&^^**&)(&**(!!!!"
"Cid! It's me, Vincent! TURN ON A LIGHT!"
And then there was light.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, until...
Matt suddenly screamed and ran behind Callie who ran behind Sephiroth,
who ran behind Matt, forcing the process to repeat.
"Oh, what the hell is the PROBLEM???" Seph finally asked in
exasperation.
"I can't eat the goldfish crackers!" cried Matt. 'I mean, like, they
gotta have crack in 'em- crack-ers, see? THEY'RE SOOOOO ADDICTIVE!" He
clutched the bag tightly and sobbed. 'But I CAN'T!"
Callie looked at the "gun", saw it was a banana, and shrugged. Then
she put chocolate on it and stuffed it into Cloud'' mouth. Cloud
looked peaceful and happy, chewing on his fruit like that.
Sephiroth got some Kool-Aid and vodka, and he and Callie toasted
several things. Like oxygen.
"We should drink a glass for every oxygen molecule we've ever
breathed!" Seph announced.
"Twice." Callie agreed.
Matt whimpered and hugged his goldfish.
"Get away from those!" Anna yelled.
*SMACK!* As she hit Matt in the back of the head, making him drop his
goldfish box.
"NOOOOOO!"
"YESSS!!!!!" Everyone else yelled.
"Duh...when do Cloud can touch boobies?"
"When your 8, dearie" Said the random old lady.
"But Cloud want boobies now!" Cloud demanded.
"You can touch mine!" Said Crash Bandicoot.
"OH NO!! ITS CRASH BANDICOOT!" Everyone yelled.
Everyone threw their scolding hot tea at Crash. It horribly
disfigured him.
"Whoa! He looks normal now!" Cid said.
"Uh...what does a 'normal' bandicoot look like anyways?" Asked Anna.
"A MIX BETWEEN A BADGER AND A KANGAROO!!" Matt said proudly.
"Oh...uh..." Anna thought for a second.
"Enough of this nonsense!" Sephirotoh proposed a vote on who got the
last spork to eat their enchuritos with.
"I vote on Mario!" Said Nintendo Entertainments America President
Hiroshi Yamauchi.
"MARIO???" Matt said angrily. "WHO LET HIROSHI YAMAUCHI THE PRESIDENT OF
NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT AMERICAN IN HERE??????"
"I did." Said the shrunked elvin chibified troll gnome named Geebus.
"Oh, ok.....Does everyone see him?" Asked Motoko.
"See who?" Matt said, trying to fool Motoko.
"Uh oh!!!!!!!" Motoko slowly began to back away, making sure everyone
in the
group could be seen by him.
"What's HIS problem??" Asked the breakdancing multi-colored banana wearing
bondage named cletus.
"I dunno" Said the flaming gibberishing gun weilding spider monkey named
apple jax.
"HEY! IM BACK!" Yelled Barret...
"Who cares?" asked Sephiroth.
"I do!" Matt cried, glomping Barret. Barret looked scared.
Kyuke pranced through. Motoko screamed and ran away.
Anna and Selphie started making out like rabid weasels. Kyuke and
Motoko stopped prancing and running to take out cameras and start
videotaping.
Then a horrible thing happened.
Cloud remembered he was 21.
"ME CAN TOUCH BOOBIES NOW!!!!!!!!" he screamed at the top of his blond
little lungs (not that he had blond lungs, or anything), rushing
towards the kissing chicks. If it hadn't been for Vincent carefully
placing Squall in Cloud's way for him to trip over, Cloud would have
interrupted Anna and Selphie. That would have been bad.
"..."
"SHUT UP, SQUALL!" everyone yelled at him.
Gackt came in wearing nothing but leather dominatrix gear. Everyone's
eyes fell out of their heads and they started drooling like waterfalls
and going 'duhh duhh huh huh purty
fuuuuhdhdhdhdhdhdhdsadsgadggdgyudgsatd76@@@!!!!!!" and spasming
involuntarily with lust.
Except not for the guys.
Except for Matt and Sephiroth. Well, okay, Cloud too, but Cloud did
that sort of thing anyways.
Then Gackt turned to everyone and said...
told Matt.
"I don't think so either." Matt said. "Poor Callie, little does
she know it kicked ass."
"So..." Cid started, "It seems you have a big plan, huh??"
"That's right! a BIG, SECRET ONE!"
"Oh, its a secret plan? Nevermind we don't want to hear it then."
"NOO WAIT YOU GUYS! COME ON! IM SO CLOSE TO REVEALING MY SECRET
PLAN!"
"Ok OK! Tell us your secret plan!" Callie yelled.
"WOOHOO! Okay...LET'S RAID FUNCO LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Uh, Matt I think you mis-"
"GOOD IDEA!" Callie yelled.
"ONTO FUNCO LAND!!" Matt yelled again.
"That's not a secret!" said Yuffie. "You wrote that on your
arm in red permanent marker!" Yuffie pointed to Matt's arm.
Sure enough, 'raid Funco Land" was there, right next to "change
underwear".
"Oh, yeah." said Matt. "I...uhhh...was afraid I'd forget, so..."
"Dammit!" said Callie. "Now we can't!"
"Why?"
"Because honestly, I don't know what Funco Land is." Callie
shrugged. Everyone teardropped and facefaulted and bluenosed and
chibified themselves.
"Jesus Christ, it's like an episode of Ranma in here!" Cid
complained.
"CID NO BAKA!" screamed Akane from somewhere within the
dimensions of innerspacial stupidity.
"I'm lost!" Ryouga was heard to complain.
"Ranma-husband no want violent girl..." Sephiroth mused.
"Ah, the philosophy of Rumiko Takehashi." Said irvine.
"MS Word blows hard." Selphie muttered.
Cloud had a stomachache, and ate some unpopped popcorn.
"Mmmm mmm! Yummers!"
"CLOUD!" Tifa screamed. "THAT'S NOT POPCORN, IT'S..."
"FISH GILLS!!!!!" Matt yelled. Cloud spit the fish gills all over the
place.
"Ah, ya got em o me, you idiot!"
"SHUT UP YOU!" Matt said as he ordered Barret to his room.
Everyone ate some cheddar and sour cream chips.
"Hey Matt..." Callie started, "Did you tell Barret to eat your
cheese?"
"NO I CERTAINLY DID NOT! HOLY CRAP!" Matt turned around in horror
to see Barret chomping down on the delicasy that is, MATT'S CHEESE.
"Uh oh, explosions and body counts are imminent." Cid worried.
Meanwhile, back at the fruit-rollups factory, there was a new
fruit-rollup design underway. ONE THAT EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPY TO
HAVE, ONE THAT WOULD REVOLUTIONIZE THE FRUIT-ROLLUP INDUSTRY FOREVER!
PLAIN FRUIT-ROLLUPS!!!!!!!!!!!
"Wow," Said one executive of
FAGCORPINDUSTRIESINCORPORATED corp.ind.inc. AMERICA, "This sure beats
our root-rollups, boot-rollups, suit-rollups, fruit-bowlups,
rootsutlootnplundering-rollabowlaweedups ideas."
"STOP EATING MY CHEESE, BARRET!" Matt yelled, but was powerless
to do anything as he realized he was ankle-deep in flaming hot cheetos.
"ZELL...I KNOW THIS IS YOUR DOING! ONCE I DIG MY WAY OUT,
IM COMING FOR YOU!"
Matt watched Barret.
First he started eating his cheese,
then he was almost started starting eating matt's cheese,
then he was in the middle of starting to start to eat matt's cheese,
then he was almost done starting to start eating matt's cheese,
then he finished starting to start eating matts cheese,
so he began being in the process of starting to eat matts cheese,
then he was in the process of being in the process of starting to
eat matts cheese,
then he finished being in the process and ended finalizing of
starting to eat matts cheese,
then he was ending starting eating matts cheese
then he was in the middle of starting to eat matts cheese
then he was ending the process of beginning to eat matts
delectable cheese
then he was in the middle of eating matts cheese
then he finished eating matts wonderful spiffy glowing yellow
sun-rise sun-set southern vegas wisconsinized pasturized homonizied
batterized preservativized entertained and delivered swiss ronald
mcdonald premier super duper creamy milky gooey sharp-medium-mild
mild-sharp medium- extra double tasty cheese.
Everyone was asleep by now except for Matt, who finaly struggled
free from the mass of flaming hot-cheetos surrounding his ankles and
ran in Barret's direction.
"Duh, Barret have correction? Cloud want inspection!"
"Not inspection you moron, he said erection."
"No way he said posession re-construction!"
"Like Tifa's chest?" Cloud asked.
"yeah!" Everyone agreed...even Tifa.
"BARRET! YOU SHALL BE BANISHED TO THE LAND OF THE CHIBIFIED
GNOMES!"
Barret was then banished to the land of No Land. Barret floated
around in space for a few forevers.
"OOPS! Well my um...uh banishing could use a little touching up."
Matt explained.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL CLOUD REALIZE HE HAS A COW IN HIS
PANTS? WILL THE DIGIDESTINED BE DESTINED TO WATCH ANOTHER BORING
REPEAT OF THEIR SUMMER VACATION TRIP TO THE DIGIWORLD THAT WEVE ALL
SEEN A MILLION FUCKING TIMES!!!! GODAMIT!!! THIS PISSES ME OFF!!!!! oh
uh, ON NEXT WEEKS SHOW! BE SURE TO TUNE IN. DON'T MISS IT. ITS REALLY
GONNA BE KILLER. AND UH, YEAH. DUN NUUUUUN!
"Eeeeeew!" Yuffie screamed. 'CLOUD'S FUCKING A HORSE!"
"That's a cow, you total idiot." Irvine corrected her.
"Oh, okay, then! That makes all the difference!"
Matt was lying on the floor, hugging the remains of his cheese
collection. Callie was patting his head comfortingly, and patting
Sephiroth in another area that may not have been comfortable, but was
certainly interesting.
"Ecchi!" said the readers.
Okay, fine, she patting Sephiroth on the head.
"That can still be taken two ways!"
How 'bout the upper inner thigh?
"I'm going off somewhere else. You're disgusting."
ALRIGHT, FINE! Callie was not patting Sephiroth in any way
that could be considered sexual. She was sticking sticky stickers on
his nose. Okay? Are you happy?
"A little..."
Fuck you.
"Wow, that was a really abusive inner monologue." Laguna
observed. "It made my legs hurt."
Suddenly, that stupid little bitch with the dumb pink hat who
looks like Aeris only even UGLIER ran in, screamed something about
reruns, and got flattened by Pokemon and the guys from Monster Rancher.
"My boobs ARE real!" Tifa insisted. "I'll prove it!" Tifa
grabbed Cid and pushed him into a closet.
"Okay, has anyone noticed that there are a LOT of breasts in
this fanfic?" asked Sailor Uranus.
Everyone stared.
"Wait, why am I here? SPACE SWORD BLASTER!" she screamed,
banging Cloud a good hard one on the head.
"That sounded obscene!"
Blow me!
"Uhh, why is the author screaming at nothing?" asked Matt.
Callie blushed.
Haruka left.
"Dammit, he was hot!" said Selphie, causing Sailor Moon fans
to smirk knowingly at each other.
Suddenly, the closet lit on fire. Tifa ran out, hastily
covering her naked chest with a convenient raincoat. She immediately
charged into Frederick's of Hollywood in search of a new top. Cid
followed not long after, looking dazed and shaking his head.
"Well?" asked Irvine.
"Whoa."
"Are they...?" asked Sephiroth impatiently.
"Whoa."
"Well, tell us already!" ordered Callie.
Cid just shook his head. "You won't believe it, but..." He
paused for dramatic pause.
"No! Cid being mean! Cloud want know about Tifa's boobies!"
Cloud screamed, turning purple with rage. "Cloud have right to know!
Cloud have stock in silicon!"
"She wears a minimizer." Cid said, almost choking on the words.
There was dead silence.
"You filthy rotten lousy little liar!" Yuffie gasped. "That
can't possibly be true!"
Cid turned to Yuffie with torture in his bloodshot eyes.
Slowly, he said, "It's like looking at two pink watermelons, only
saggier."
Sephiroth puked.
Callie shuddered.
Cloud was, for the first time, not interested in seeing
Tifa's "boobies".
Irvine really wanted some chicken soup.
Irvine didn't get his chicken soup because he was shackled in
a torture chamber deep underground the streets of Las Vegas.
"Well that has to suck." Matt commented.
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Cloud need find new booby source!" He looked around. His eyes
rested on Yuffie for about a quarter of a second then moved on.
"HEY! I HAVE BOOBIES!" Yuffie screamed.
"I'm SURE you do....in there....somewhere." Sephiroth said
incredulously.
"HMF! I'M LEAVING!" Yuffie stormed out of the non-existant room.
"HEY! THAT LOOK LIKE FUN!" Cloud ran and jumped from nowhere into
nowhere and went nowhere.
"OWW!"
"OW!" Matt yelped in pain.
"What's going on?" Everyone asked.
"Uh...OWW...nothing...OWW!" Matt said as Callie kept jabbing him
with a gun.
"Uh..OWW...Let''s talk about Gackt and ice cream OWW!" Matt said...
fearing for his life.
"Ok!" Selphie thought it was a good idea.
"So uh...Gackt and ice cream kick ass..." Matt said.
"No way! I hate gackt...it like, gets all messy and makes scary
noises and it comes in those weird packages!
"DUUH! NOT THAAAT GACKT!" Matt yelled.
"Anyways, veggie dip is under Callie's bed." Matt said
"Uhh...How would YOU know?" Vincent asked.
"Like...Theres a gun to my- OWW!" "Shut up! shut UP!" Callie
jabbed the gun into Matt's back again.
"Everyone disappeared except for the gelatenous space bunny in the
middle of the non-existant room."
...said the narattor. as you can tell....this fanfic is WELL OVER
WITH...as the writer cannot think of anything else to put. so JOIN US
NEXT TIME...ON......NUCLEAR GELATENOUS GOOIFIED ELECTRIFIED FISHY
BUNNY NOISES!!!!
"This sucks!" yelled the bunny, and used the Power of Plot
Contrievance to transport everyone to a big dark room.
"What the hell?"
"Who said that?"
"Me."
"Me who?"
"Me, Callie! Who am I talking to?"
"Sephiroth."
"Duhh...Cloud feel squishy boobies..."
"PERVERT!"
**slap**
"OWWWW! Cloud no like when Selphie slap Cloud!"
"&^&^&^^**&)(&**(!!!!"
"Cid! It's me, Vincent! TURN ON A LIGHT!"
And then there was light.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, until...
Matt suddenly screamed and ran behind Callie who ran behind Sephiroth,
who ran behind Matt, forcing the process to repeat.
"Oh, what the hell is the PROBLEM???" Seph finally asked in
exasperation.
"I can't eat the goldfish crackers!" cried Matt. 'I mean, like, they
gotta have crack in 'em- crack-ers, see? THEY'RE SOOOOO ADDICTIVE!" He
clutched the bag tightly and sobbed. 'But I CAN'T!"
Callie looked at the "gun", saw it was a banana, and shrugged. Then
she put chocolate on it and stuffed it into Cloud'' mouth. Cloud
looked peaceful and happy, chewing on his fruit like that.
Sephiroth got some Kool-Aid and vodka, and he and Callie toasted
several things. Like oxygen.
"We should drink a glass for every oxygen molecule we've ever
breathed!" Seph announced.
"Twice." Callie agreed.
Matt whimpered and hugged his goldfish.
"Get away from those!" Anna yelled.
*SMACK!* As she hit Matt in the back of the head, making him drop his
goldfish box.
"NOOOOOO!"
"YESSS!!!!!" Everyone else yelled.
"Duh...when do Cloud can touch boobies?"
"When your 8, dearie" Said the random old lady.
"But Cloud want boobies now!" Cloud demanded.
"You can touch mine!" Said Crash Bandicoot.
"OH NO!! ITS CRASH BANDICOOT!" Everyone yelled.
Everyone threw their scolding hot tea at Crash. It horribly
disfigured him.
"Whoa! He looks normal now!" Cid said.
"Uh...what does a 'normal' bandicoot look like anyways?" Asked Anna.
"A MIX BETWEEN A BADGER AND A KANGAROO!!" Matt said proudly.
"Oh...uh..." Anna thought for a second.
"Enough of this nonsense!" Sephirotoh proposed a vote on who got the
last spork to eat their enchuritos with.
"I vote on Mario!" Said Nintendo Entertainments America President
Hiroshi Yamauchi.
"MARIO???" Matt said angrily. "WHO LET HIROSHI YAMAUCHI THE PRESIDENT OF
NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT AMERICAN IN HERE??????"
"I did." Said the shrunked elvin chibified troll gnome named Geebus.
"Oh, ok.....Does everyone see him?" Asked Motoko.
"See who?" Matt said, trying to fool Motoko.
"Uh oh!!!!!!!" Motoko slowly began to back away, making sure everyone
in the
group could be seen by him.
"What's HIS problem??" Asked the breakdancing multi-colored banana wearing
bondage named cletus.
"I dunno" Said the flaming gibberishing gun weilding spider monkey named
apple jax.
"HEY! IM BACK!" Yelled Barret...
"Who cares?" asked Sephiroth.
"I do!" Matt cried, glomping Barret. Barret looked scared.
Kyuke pranced through. Motoko screamed and ran away.
Anna and Selphie started making out like rabid weasels. Kyuke and
Motoko stopped prancing and running to take out cameras and start
videotaping.
Then a horrible thing happened.
Cloud remembered he was 21.
"ME CAN TOUCH BOOBIES NOW!!!!!!!!" he screamed at the top of his blond
little lungs (not that he had blond lungs, or anything), rushing
towards the kissing chicks. If it hadn't been for Vincent carefully
placing Squall in Cloud's way for him to trip over, Cloud would have
interrupted Anna and Selphie. That would have been bad.
"..."
"SHUT UP, SQUALL!" everyone yelled at him.
Gackt came in wearing nothing but leather dominatrix gear. Everyone's
eyes fell out of their heads and they started drooling like waterfalls
and going 'duhh duhh huh huh purty
fuuuuhdhdhdhdhdhdhdsadsgadggdgyudgsatd76@@@!!!!!!" and spasming
involuntarily with lust.
Except not for the guys.
Except for Matt and Sephiroth. Well, okay, Cloud too, but Cloud did
that sort of thing anyways.
Then Gackt turned to everyone and said...