AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: This is the sixth story in my 'Letters' series. You don't need to read them all for them to make sense. They're a crossover between both Buffy & ANGEL. The first two can be found at my webpage (see below) and the other three in between aren't done yet. I don't have a reason why, they just aren't.
SPOILER: Wild At Heart and Sense & Sensitivity
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =) Of course, all my work is at my page - http://planetslaythis.homestead.com
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: The characters are owned by Joss, but God knows he does not deserve them. The song is by Blessid Union of Souls, and it too is in another fic I'm working on. I just take forever.
//I knew that this moment would come in time
That I'd have to let go and
Watch you fly
I know you're comin' back so why am I
Dying inside?
Are you searching for words that you can't find?
Trying to hide your emotions
Eyes don't lie
Guess there's no easy way to say goodbye
I'll be standing at the edge of the Earth
Hoping that one day you'll come back again
I'll be standing at the edge of the Earth
Hoping that one day\\
Dear Angel,
Tears are a mystery to me. They really are.
Willow and Oz sort of broke up today. Maybe it was yesterday. It's hard to know. The past three days, well, no, the past couple of weeks have been strange. This girl, Veruca, she turned out to be a She-Wolf, and she showed up in Sunnydale with a band and an eye on Oz. He succumbed to her, and it very well could've been the werewolf thing that did it, but I don't know. All I really know is that he slept with her, at least twice, and he wound up killing her to save Willow.
She's a mess now. Oz left this morning for uncharted territory and none of us really know what's going to happen. Willow came home and I don't know if I've ever seen her that way before. She was....different. I'm not sure I know how to make it clear unless you were really there.
When I first found her, after she'd seen Oz and Veruca together, she was roaming around the city. Riley - he's one of our TAs in psychology - he wound up saving Willow's life, a car almost crashed into her. I'd never seen her so upset, not even when she and Oz broke up the last time. Maybe it means more now because they've slept together, but I guess I can't really say. God knows I haven't had experience with sex bringing a couple closer together.
I'm just so worried about her Angel. All day, she's been balled up on the bed muttering to herself, but she doesn't cry. She just sits there, looking at nothing, muttering unintelligible things from time to time. I figured she needed to be alone so I came here - Giles' - to write you this letter. He's not here, obviously. He's out jogging, and please don't ask. The concept was scary enough when I found out about it, telling the story could cause permanent damage. I found out via Xander the other day that he watches Jeopardy and answers the questions correctly. I'm not sure if that scares me or not.
I guess I'm writing to you for answers about Will, answers I know you'll never give. I need to know what to do for her, how to show her that if she needs me, for anything, that I'll be there for her.
I keep trying to remember what it was like for me when you left. I remind myself then that I spent the summer kicking so much demon ass, I didn't get much time to wallow. Then I remembered that I cried for fourteen straight hours when you left back in May. See what I mean about tears??
I'd better head back for the dorms, see if Willow needs anything. I think I'll take ice cream and popcorn (her fave) with me. She really needs to embrace the best part - the only good part - of a breakup. Unconditional pigging out.
I'm thinking of you every minute and wondering why you're wherever in LA it is that you are instead of here, with me.
Love,
Buffy
*****
//Don't misunderstand what
I'm tryin' to say
I don't want to let you leave this way
Girl, I want you to know that I'll stand
Right by your side
I know
This may be
The very last time that we see each other cry
Whatever happens know that I
I'll be standing at the edge of the Earth
Hoping that one day you'll come back again
I'll be standing at the edge of the Earth
Hoping that one day
Hoping for someday
Praying for someday
Wishing that someday
I will see you\\
Dear Buffy,
Of all the people in Sunnydale, I expected to hear from Giles the least. Actually, when I left, I figured I'd never see any of you again, but God knows I *never* thought Cordelia would waltz into my life. Strange how things work out.
Back to where I started, Giles wrote me a letter and Willow emailed it to me. Not too informative on anything going on in Sunnydale besides the occult, but it did say something we both already knew.
He said that you and I are two lost souls, never to meet again even though that's where they most want to be.
The date says Giles wrote the letter almost two weeks ago. It must've been right after you sent me the Gem of Amara. You know Buffy, I have a hard time accepting a lot of things these days, but I'm still not sure I get why you really wanted me to have that ring.
I spent a day in another life, literally, the other night. This guy was tricking people with a talking stick into being overly sensitive and emotionally drawn out. It was freaky the way people cried and went on and on. Scary even. I didn't like being a part of it. What's worse is Cordelia and Doyle tell me I hugged them. Can't say I'm proud of that one. At least there was no groping. That she's told me about.
Okay, wanting to change the subject *right* now.
Giles sees something you're too young and I'm too stupid to admit is true.
The relationship we had was never meant to be, and it can never happen again. We possibly even threw off history, you know.
I guess you would probably like that idea. I kind of do.
The sensitivity stuff really got me thinking though. The way I left you....it was wrong. Cordelia has stolen them from me for blackmail (I guess she's waiting for the right pair of shoes to show up in the Fred Segal window and then she'll hit me hard), but I wrote you all these letters and poems when I was....possessed, I guess you'd say. It freaked me out. I wasn't expecting it and I didn't like it one bit. I still don't. The memory of it makes me shiver.
Still, I wish I had one of those poems to put in with this letter. I'll never mail it, but knowing that it's here with you would be a great comfort to me.
I only remember this one line......
If love can be denied in the daytime, it can be enveloped at night.
I don't think that's very good poetry, but I still wanted to share it with you. Something for you to take to your dreams of us together. I love you.
Angel