Shape of My Heart
Disclaimer: I don't own, in any shape or form, the characters below. Lyrics to Shape of
My Heart are property of the Backstreet Boys.
AN: Yes! It's here! The long awaited sequel to You Where Meant For Me. It took me
forever to find a good song for a companion fic, but here it is. Major OOC.
'__' denotes inner thoughts; "__" denotes outer thoughts (speech)
*
IBaby, please try to forgive me/I
"Hi, Yolei…"
Ken couldn't believe he was standing on her doorstep. He was, after all, the former
Digimon Emperor. How could he expect her, or any of them for that matter, to really
forgive him? The things he had done to innocent Digimon, not to mention HER digimon,
where to terrible to forgive. He should just turn around and walk away…
"Ken, where are you going?"
IStay here, don't put out the glow/I
He froze. Yolei reached out a tentative hand, and touched his shoulder. 'Not now, not
when you're so close…'
Ken spun around at the soft contact. And unwittingly locked eyes with Yolei. Staring
into those large brown orbs, looking so kind and inviting it should be illegal. Yolei
blushed, eyes locked with his ice blue ones, already asking more questions then she could
answer alone.
"Why are you in a hurry to leave, Ken? You just got here."
"Are you sure you want to see me?"
IHold me now, don't bother/I
She blinked back surprise. It was such a simple question, should inspire such a simple
answer…
'He's the Digimon Emperor' one side of her yelled. 'But he isn't any more' the other
side offered. 'I forgave him a long time ago. This shouldn't be a problem.'
"Of course I want to see you! Why wouldn't I? I mean, it isn't like I get to see you
every day, but even if I did, it wouldn't mean I would just turn you out…" Yolei kept on
babbling while she led Ken into her living room.
"You thirsty? Hungry? Can I get you anything?" Ken shook his head mutely, amazed at
the sheer amount of words someone could say at one time.
"Well, at least sit down," Yolei gestured toward the couch and sat down opposite him in
an armchair. "And to what do I owe to this unexpected visit?"
IIf every minute it makes me weaker/I
"Well, ah, I was wondering…" Ken stared down at his hands and stumbled over what he
was trying to say. What was he trying to say? The thoughts in his head conveniently fled
whenever she was around.
"Yeah?" He looked up into those blasted eyes again. What right did they have to be so
warm, so friendly? There was only one way to do this…
"Whydidyouforgiveme?" It all tumbled out in one quick noise. Ken mentally kicked
himself. Why, oh why, did he have to lose his eloquence now? In one ill thought blurb,
the carefully built image he had created for himself had been destroyed. Well, almost.
"That's all?"
Ken just stared. Yolei was laughing.
"You're acting all skittish because you don't believe I could, aren't you?"
IYou can save me from the man that I've become/I
He winced. 'Straight on. How does she do that?' But Yolei wasn't finished yet.
"It's all you, Ken. Everything you did, happened. And you can't change that. You can't
change anything that happened before this instant, actually. The only thing you can do is
watch yourself, and make sure that you never make the same mistakes again. I was under
the impression that you're quite an intelligent person. An intelligent person wouldn't go
back on himself, wouldn't repeat old mistakes."
She was right. And to be blunt, her wisdom astounded him. Ken knew, in the back of his
mind, that he needed to move on.
"Just remember Ken, we can forgive, but we must never forget. For the dead and the
living, we must bear witness. For if we forget, it could happen again. Not from you, but
from other misguided people. Move on, but never forget."
ILooking back on the things I've done
I was trying to be someone
I played my part
And kept you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart/I
Yolei's voice had gotten quiet. It was Ken's turn to talk.
"How can I expect you and the others to forgive me if the things I did are beyond
forgiveness? I was cruel and heartless in the strictest sense of the words. The things I
did even to my own partner, Wormmon… There is no excuse to be said for the things I
did. I have no right to claim forgiveness, and you have no obligation to give it. The
horrors I caused…"
Ken's eyes slid shut. The memories of the chaos had ensued his reign as Emperor flitted
across his mind, the screams of innocents ringing in his ears. No, forgiveness was
beyond him. As was THIS innocent, this pure one, sitting across from him. The one who
was leaning toward him, reaching out, taking his chin in her hand…
Yolei looked him in the eyes. Deep into those magnificent indigo eyes…
"Ken, I forgave you. Not out of obligation, but out of the chance that you had changed.
And I truly believe you have. Maybe there are others in our group haven't, at least, not
yet. But they will. And they will for the same reasons I did. Because you truly have
changed."
ISadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical/I
He sighed. "I want to believe you, Yolei, really I do. But not even a day can go by
without a part of me wanting the darkness back. Some part of me wants the rush, the
thrill, the feel of absolute power that the evil can provide. And I know that, someday, I
will submit. I will cause terror again. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."
Ken was developing quite a nice mental bruise on his rear from all this kicking. Had he
actually let it slip that he wasn't the emotionless child genius? He could fell his face
burning.
Yolei could feel the burn as well creeping up her cheeks. Did she dare hope that he had
said what she thought he did? That he wouldn't want to hurt…Her? 'No, I'm being
foolish, he could never…want…me.'
ISo help me, I can't win this war/I
Ken dared to look up. Dared to see Yolei laughing at him, or looking incredulous,
something disbelieving. But that wasn't what he saw. Oh no.
He saw hope.
It's amazing what one emotion can do to people. The look of absolute hope shining from
her eyes was enough to make Ken's heart leap to his throat, his knees turn to water, and
the bottom of his stomach drop out. Not to mention, his eyes got all glazy.
Yolei dared to hope what he said was real. Dared to hope that it meant what she thought
it did. Dared to meet his eyes when he looked up. Dared to get…woozy…
'My god. Did anyone tell him he has beautiful eyes?'
Ken laughed softly. Yolei jerked out of her reverie.
"What? What's so funny?"
"Just the amazing way that you can break a guy's wall in about forty-five minutes that he
spent years building up. Can break it in one look at your eyes."
ITouch me now don't bother
If every second it makes me weaker
You can save me from the man that I've become/I
Ken gestured for Yolei to vacate the armchair. She did so, and sat beside him, though
rather tentatively. Who knew what he was about to do?
"Yolei, I have changed. I'm sure of that. However, I can't be sure that it will be
permanent. I told you before; there isn't an instant that a part of my mind wants the evil
back. I can't get close to anyone, I can't afford to."
'If I didn't know better, I'd say that Ken Ichijouji just stated that he cared for me. But
this is the Digimon Emperor we're talking about…' Once again, the internal battle was
taking place inside Yolei. To trust or not to trust? Was that really the question?
Yolei had turned her head down toward her hands. 'No,' thought Ken. 'That won't do.'
He reached out a hand and gently grasped her chin to lift her face toward him. She
looked startled, like a deer trapped in the headlights of a car. And scared as she was,
Yolei was not about to lose this opportunity. Without wasting a second, she claimed his
unsuspecting lips with hers.
Kisses are funny things. They may or may not be heart stopping, world-explodes-and-I-
don't-care sort of thing you see on television. All Ken knew was that the world had
stopped. At that instant, his entire universe was focused on the mouth on his. And he
knew why he had changed. Knew how he was able to do a 180 in personality, demeanor,
everything. It was for people who believed in absolute trust, those fortunate individuals
who hold in their heart the complete, total ability to forgive without question. It was for
her.
II'm here with my confessions
Got nothing to hide no more
I don't know where to start
Then to show you the shape of my heart/I
~Fini~
*
AN: Uh-oh. *looks up finished story* Boy, do I have a lot of explaining to do. Believe
it or not, this started out pretty innocent. I think that, along the way, the song ran away
with me and this ended up OOC. Go with the flow, ya know? So, please r/r and tell me
what you think (don't-quit-the-day-job, you-suck, that kind of thang).
Disclaimer: I don't own, in any shape or form, the characters below. Lyrics to Shape of
My Heart are property of the Backstreet Boys.
AN: Yes! It's here! The long awaited sequel to You Where Meant For Me. It took me
forever to find a good song for a companion fic, but here it is. Major OOC.
'__' denotes inner thoughts; "__" denotes outer thoughts (speech)
*
IBaby, please try to forgive me/I
"Hi, Yolei…"
Ken couldn't believe he was standing on her doorstep. He was, after all, the former
Digimon Emperor. How could he expect her, or any of them for that matter, to really
forgive him? The things he had done to innocent Digimon, not to mention HER digimon,
where to terrible to forgive. He should just turn around and walk away…
"Ken, where are you going?"
IStay here, don't put out the glow/I
He froze. Yolei reached out a tentative hand, and touched his shoulder. 'Not now, not
when you're so close…'
Ken spun around at the soft contact. And unwittingly locked eyes with Yolei. Staring
into those large brown orbs, looking so kind and inviting it should be illegal. Yolei
blushed, eyes locked with his ice blue ones, already asking more questions then she could
answer alone.
"Why are you in a hurry to leave, Ken? You just got here."
"Are you sure you want to see me?"
IHold me now, don't bother/I
She blinked back surprise. It was such a simple question, should inspire such a simple
answer…
'He's the Digimon Emperor' one side of her yelled. 'But he isn't any more' the other
side offered. 'I forgave him a long time ago. This shouldn't be a problem.'
"Of course I want to see you! Why wouldn't I? I mean, it isn't like I get to see you
every day, but even if I did, it wouldn't mean I would just turn you out…" Yolei kept on
babbling while she led Ken into her living room.
"You thirsty? Hungry? Can I get you anything?" Ken shook his head mutely, amazed at
the sheer amount of words someone could say at one time.
"Well, at least sit down," Yolei gestured toward the couch and sat down opposite him in
an armchair. "And to what do I owe to this unexpected visit?"
IIf every minute it makes me weaker/I
"Well, ah, I was wondering…" Ken stared down at his hands and stumbled over what he
was trying to say. What was he trying to say? The thoughts in his head conveniently fled
whenever she was around.
"Yeah?" He looked up into those blasted eyes again. What right did they have to be so
warm, so friendly? There was only one way to do this…
"Whydidyouforgiveme?" It all tumbled out in one quick noise. Ken mentally kicked
himself. Why, oh why, did he have to lose his eloquence now? In one ill thought blurb,
the carefully built image he had created for himself had been destroyed. Well, almost.
"That's all?"
Ken just stared. Yolei was laughing.
"You're acting all skittish because you don't believe I could, aren't you?"
IYou can save me from the man that I've become/I
He winced. 'Straight on. How does she do that?' But Yolei wasn't finished yet.
"It's all you, Ken. Everything you did, happened. And you can't change that. You can't
change anything that happened before this instant, actually. The only thing you can do is
watch yourself, and make sure that you never make the same mistakes again. I was under
the impression that you're quite an intelligent person. An intelligent person wouldn't go
back on himself, wouldn't repeat old mistakes."
She was right. And to be blunt, her wisdom astounded him. Ken knew, in the back of his
mind, that he needed to move on.
"Just remember Ken, we can forgive, but we must never forget. For the dead and the
living, we must bear witness. For if we forget, it could happen again. Not from you, but
from other misguided people. Move on, but never forget."
ILooking back on the things I've done
I was trying to be someone
I played my part
And kept you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart/I
Yolei's voice had gotten quiet. It was Ken's turn to talk.
"How can I expect you and the others to forgive me if the things I did are beyond
forgiveness? I was cruel and heartless in the strictest sense of the words. The things I
did even to my own partner, Wormmon… There is no excuse to be said for the things I
did. I have no right to claim forgiveness, and you have no obligation to give it. The
horrors I caused…"
Ken's eyes slid shut. The memories of the chaos had ensued his reign as Emperor flitted
across his mind, the screams of innocents ringing in his ears. No, forgiveness was
beyond him. As was THIS innocent, this pure one, sitting across from him. The one who
was leaning toward him, reaching out, taking his chin in her hand…
Yolei looked him in the eyes. Deep into those magnificent indigo eyes…
"Ken, I forgave you. Not out of obligation, but out of the chance that you had changed.
And I truly believe you have. Maybe there are others in our group haven't, at least, not
yet. But they will. And they will for the same reasons I did. Because you truly have
changed."
ISadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical/I
He sighed. "I want to believe you, Yolei, really I do. But not even a day can go by
without a part of me wanting the darkness back. Some part of me wants the rush, the
thrill, the feel of absolute power that the evil can provide. And I know that, someday, I
will submit. I will cause terror again. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."
Ken was developing quite a nice mental bruise on his rear from all this kicking. Had he
actually let it slip that he wasn't the emotionless child genius? He could fell his face
burning.
Yolei could feel the burn as well creeping up her cheeks. Did she dare hope that he had
said what she thought he did? That he wouldn't want to hurt…Her? 'No, I'm being
foolish, he could never…want…me.'
ISo help me, I can't win this war/I
Ken dared to look up. Dared to see Yolei laughing at him, or looking incredulous,
something disbelieving. But that wasn't what he saw. Oh no.
He saw hope.
It's amazing what one emotion can do to people. The look of absolute hope shining from
her eyes was enough to make Ken's heart leap to his throat, his knees turn to water, and
the bottom of his stomach drop out. Not to mention, his eyes got all glazy.
Yolei dared to hope what he said was real. Dared to hope that it meant what she thought
it did. Dared to meet his eyes when he looked up. Dared to get…woozy…
'My god. Did anyone tell him he has beautiful eyes?'
Ken laughed softly. Yolei jerked out of her reverie.
"What? What's so funny?"
"Just the amazing way that you can break a guy's wall in about forty-five minutes that he
spent years building up. Can break it in one look at your eyes."
ITouch me now don't bother
If every second it makes me weaker
You can save me from the man that I've become/I
Ken gestured for Yolei to vacate the armchair. She did so, and sat beside him, though
rather tentatively. Who knew what he was about to do?
"Yolei, I have changed. I'm sure of that. However, I can't be sure that it will be
permanent. I told you before; there isn't an instant that a part of my mind wants the evil
back. I can't get close to anyone, I can't afford to."
'If I didn't know better, I'd say that Ken Ichijouji just stated that he cared for me. But
this is the Digimon Emperor we're talking about…' Once again, the internal battle was
taking place inside Yolei. To trust or not to trust? Was that really the question?
Yolei had turned her head down toward her hands. 'No,' thought Ken. 'That won't do.'
He reached out a hand and gently grasped her chin to lift her face toward him. She
looked startled, like a deer trapped in the headlights of a car. And scared as she was,
Yolei was not about to lose this opportunity. Without wasting a second, she claimed his
unsuspecting lips with hers.
Kisses are funny things. They may or may not be heart stopping, world-explodes-and-I-
don't-care sort of thing you see on television. All Ken knew was that the world had
stopped. At that instant, his entire universe was focused on the mouth on his. And he
knew why he had changed. Knew how he was able to do a 180 in personality, demeanor,
everything. It was for people who believed in absolute trust, those fortunate individuals
who hold in their heart the complete, total ability to forgive without question. It was for
her.
II'm here with my confessions
Got nothing to hide no more
I don't know where to start
Then to show you the shape of my heart/I
~Fini~
*
AN: Uh-oh. *looks up finished story* Boy, do I have a lot of explaining to do. Believe
it or not, this started out pretty innocent. I think that, along the way, the song ran away
with me and this ended up OOC. Go with the flow, ya know? So, please r/r and tell me
what you think (don't-quit-the-day-job, you-suck, that kind of thang).