The Price of This Love

The Price of This Love~*

By: Anime Angel~^0^

Gene Starwind looked through the glass window of the hospital recovery room, a worried knot forming in his stomach. Jim looked so peaceful, lying in the recovery bed. His blond, matted hair was spread out over the white pillow and his soft eyes were closed. But underneath that serene look, Gene knew that the boy was in pain. Hell, he was too. His arm and shoulder were now in a sling, and his back and chest were bandaged tightly. His injuries, however, had apparently not been as bad as his partner's...

"Dammit," he whispered, sinking back into the soft chair that the nurses had provided him with. He was exhausted, not only from fighting that day but from hassling the doctors. When the group had first arrived at the hospital, it had been the usual routine.

'Do you have any money sir?' the nurse had asked.

'No I don't but--'

'Well do you have any medical insurance?'

'No I--'

'I'm sorry sir...'

But eventually Gene had convinced the woman to let him in, showing the stubborn girl his wounds and then his younger partner's before she finally gave up. Now the outlaw sat alone outside of his partner's room, thinking. Thinking about what had happened that day.

"I'm sorry Jim..." was all Gene could think to say. It had been HIS fault that the boy was injured....HIS fault that Jim was in so much pain. I should have made her leave...

But all was in the past now, and Gene had to think ahead. He had already called the authorities, and assumed that the body would be gone when the group returned home; the body of his first authentic love would be under some slab of rock, rotting away.

The outlaw shuddered...but why? Why did he feel such regret for what had happened? The girl had practically succeeded in killing his best friend...TWICE! But still, the nagging feeling at the back of his throat remained. Like some awful nightmare, thoughts began to flood his mind. Memories of Naomi....of Jim....of everything.

Still, why was he feeling so terrible? Like he had betrayed the girl? She had been so possessive, and so messed up. But why? Why was he feeling so damn bad about her death?!

I shouldn't be feeling this way...he told himself. I don't feel sorry for her, do I? I don't want her back...so what am I feeling? Guilt? Am I guilty because I didn't make her go sooner? Would that have changed things...would she and Jim not have been hurt?

"Mr. Starwind..."

Gene's head snapped up in attention at the doctor standing before him, his thoughts scattering.

Was...was Jim okay?

"Mr. Starwind I just wanted to tell you that--"

"Yeah?"

Gene could feel tension and dread rising in his throat as he awaited the doctor's answer.

"Your partner is going to be all right."

The outlaw let out a sigh of relief, and ran a shaky hand through his matted red hair.

"You can take him home tomorrow," the doctor continued, "as long as you don't let him do any physically straining activities. Ones that would further strain his wounds and render him..."

Gene blocked out the doctor's persistent warnings, and instead looked back to where Jim was lying. The boy still hadn't moved, but at least Gene knew that he was okay.

"Do you understand Mr. Starwind.... Mr. Starwind?"

"Yeah yeah...can I go in and see him?" The outlaw crossed his fingers, hoping that Dr. Mishawka was feeling generous.

"Well, he won't be very coherent...but I suppose that--"

Gene was in the room and at his partner's side before the doctor even finished her sentence.

"Jim?" he whispered, leaning over the boy's still form. "Jim..." Gene closed his eyes for a moment. What could he say to the boy? How would he say he was sorry, when it had been his fault that Jim had almost been killed...How could he apologize for causing him pain--

"Aniki?"

Gene looked down at the boy, smiling as he realized that Jim's eyes were halfway open.

"Aniki...that you?" Jim murmured again, wetting his dry lips and focusing his gaze on his older partner. "Wah....? Where am I?"

"Hey there you lazy ass...what took you so long?" Gene said, plastering a cheerful smile onto his face. "Your in the hospital...what did you think? The circus..."

Jim scowled. "Oh shut up..." For a moment a confused look crossed his pale features. "Where's Naomi?" the boy finally asked, his voice soft.

Gene lowered his head. "Well...." Should he tell Jim what had happened? "Aisha sort of took care of her buddy..."

"Oh...yeah I figured something like that happened." The boy closed his eyes a moment, and when he opened them again they shone bright blue, all traces of pain gone. Gene figured it was the medication... "Are you okay Aniki?"

"Yeah! Course I am!" Gene laughed awkwardly, rubbing his head.

"You don't look it Gene Starwind..." Jim said, narrowing his eyes. However, they softened when the red-haired outlaw lowered his head. "Aniki--"

"Hey come on Jim," Gene said suddenly, cutting of his younger partner's words. After a moment of silence he said, "Good news, buddy...you can come home tomorrow!" He had to make some conversation, for he didn't want Jim to start worrying himself sick over Gene's stupid feelings, just like the outlaw knew he would.

The outlaw slapped Jim on the back playfully, and grinned. It was a fake grin, but it was enough to fool Jim...or at least that's what Gene thought. However, Jim was very much aware that there was something wrong. He decided to dismiss it though...for that moment.

"Cool," the boy said instead, smiling also.

"Well, I better go get things ready...at home..." With that said, Gene got up from his place beside Jim and headed for the door. He was about to enter the hallway when he turned back around, sneaking one last glance at his resting partner. Was Jim even mad at him? He sure didn't show it...but maybe he really wasn't angry. Maybe...maybe it wasn't my fault at all...

And with that reassuring thought on his mind, the outlaw headed for home.

~*~*~*~

"How's Jim?!" Aisha yelled as Gene exited the hospital. Suzuka and Melfina had left long before by foot, in order to clean things up at the apartment, but the Ctarl Ctarl had felt a certain obligation to stay and wait for any word on her little Jim.

"He's gonna be fine. Comin' home tomorrow in fact," Gene said as he passed her and headed for their car. She followed close behind.

"Really? TOMORROW?!"

"Yes...."

"WOW! Doncha think that's a little early though?" Aisha twirled one of her light bangs. "I mean, he did get a pretty nasty little cut there..."

"Well, the doctor said he was fine, so I'm takin' her word for it."

Aisha smiled gleefully and hopped into the car with the outlaw. Jimmy was okay! She could hardly contain her joy as Gene drove toward her to her apartment.

"So he's coming home tomorrow...?" she asked again after a moment, still unsure of whether this was true or not.

"YES AISHA!"

"K....just making sure..."

~Two days later~

Jim let out a deep sigh. It had been twenty four hours since he actually got back to the apartment, and things weren't going well. Now he was sitting alone on the sofa in the living room area, monotonously flipping through channels. Nothing had been the same since Naomi had...well....'died'. Gene hadn't been the same at all. He had been quieter, more awkward around the boy, but why just around Jim?

As soon as his older partner had carried him into the 'household' the boy sensed something. Gene's muscles had immediately tensed upon entering the doorway, and instead of setting Jim down on the couch the outlaw had taken him directly to his room. His NEW room. Not the old one, not the one that had been supposedly 'cleaned up', but his new one. Then, after realizing his mistake, had Gene lifted him back up and taken him to the upstairs bedroom.

I guess he could have just gotten used to me staying there... Jim had told himself over and over, but somehow the thought didn't ease him. Why had Gene done that, if just hours before he had prepared the room for Jim? Did...did he do it unconsciously? As if ... Naomi was upstairs?

Jim let out yet another shaky breath. He knew that Gene didn't want to worry him, but it was too late for that. Jim had been thinking this over ever since his partner's little mistake. Sure it had been minor, probably something anyone would do, but it still made the boy wonder. Was his Aniki okay?

"Hey there Jim."

Jim looked up suddenly, and found himself face to face with Gene.

"Oh...hi Aniki..."

"Whatcha thinkin' bout?" the outlaw said somewhat more cheerfully than the day before. But should Jim really tell him that he was worried?

"I...Are you really okay?"

For a moment Gene looked a little shocked, lowering his head and plopping himself down next to the boy. But when he spoke, the words were not an excuse or fake cheerful comment.

"Look, Jim, I know I have been acting a little weird and all but..." Jim looked at his partner expectantly. "But I just feel a little lost is all. Confused I guess. Ya know? It's not that serious or anything." He flashed Jim a lopsided grin, this time for real.

"Yeah, well I guess you got a right to be."

There was a minute or two of silence -- uncomfortable silence -- until Gene spoke again.

"Hey Jim? Would you..." The outlaw paused, and worry again began to rise in Jim's throat. "Will you come with me to Naomi's grave?" he finished softly, not making eye contact with his younger partner. Before Jim could say anything, however, Gene went on. "It's just, I just want to see it. I mean...aw hell. I don't know." Gene looked at Jim, half expecting the boy to burst out laughing, but Jim only remained silent. "I don't love her anymore, but...." The outlaw thought for a moment. "But she was really my first love ya know? I just can't help but feel like this was my fault..."

"No!" Jim shook his head. "Aniki! Why would you think that? She was just insane!" Jim forced himself to stop. He didn't want to say the wrong thing, but he was still confused.

"Well, what if I had made her leave earlier...hm? Then...then you wouldn't be hurt, and she would still be alive!"

"Yeah but Aniki..." Jim thought everything over quickly. "Aniki, everyone is entitled to love, and you and her..."

"We really did love each other," Gene finished. "We really did. I don't think I can get over that."

Jim smiled softly and scooted closer to his older partner. Like the best friend that he was, Jim said, "I'll come with ya, if it helps." He punched Gene in the side. "But NO fast food. We have no money!"

Gene grinned and scooped Jim up into his arms, despite the boy's protest. The outlaw still wasn't sure if he should be walking, and so he had carried Jim everywhere since bringing him home.

"Come on, kid."

And with that Gene whisked Jim out the door.

To be continued ... ONE LAST CHAPTER!

*All right, so that one sort of sucked, but hey! I did my best! There really wasn't much excitement, but the climax is over folks. ^_^ I still urge you to read, but the next chapter may be sort of sappy. -_-; oh well. I still might do the whole alternate ending thing, so stay tuned!