Title: Choices
Original date written: 4/28/99
Spoilers: Um, I think the story would work best in season 6. I think the exact place it takes place should be after One Son. That's the one I remember, anyway. I wrote this one quite a while back so be patient with me.
Summary: Story from Mulder's pov about a dream he had.
Disclaimer: I take no credit for the characters owned by Chris Carter and portrayed by David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, and Mimi Rogers. I gain nothing from the use of these characters so please don't sue me.
Rating: I made this PG b/c of the slight amount of angst one can find in it.
No-Romos: Abandon ship now! This is a shipper's story ;)
Choices
Fog surrounds me as I stand there. I have no idea where I am, the fog blocking my view and obscuring anything that might be in the area. The heavy mist hangs around me in the void and clings to my clothes like an intimate lover. My eyebrows knit together in confusion at my surroundings. Where am I? Why am I here?
I step forward and the fog pulls away to reveal a bed made of black steel. They lay side by side, one of their heads at one end of the bed, the other's head at the opposite. One is clothed in black, dark hair spread over her face, obscuring the view of the person's visage. The other one's clothed in white, fire red hair lightly brushing the head of its owner. There they lay, my lover and my best friend. Diana Fowley and Dana Scully.
This has to be a dream, I think to myself as I watch the two women slumber undisturbed on the bed. There lays Diana. She had been there at the start of the X-Files; came back without me having to ask; believed in the truth; and, though it was now over, was my lover again. I had held her close again on the nights I wasn't with Scully until the night I learned she was helping Cancer Man. Even though I no longer trusted her, I still felt obligated to her and had helped her by telling her where safety was. But I knew I no longer cared for her when she pressed her lips against mine and embraced me. Anything I had ever felt for her had fled in that moment.
My attention drifts to the gentle rise and fall of Scully's chest as she breathes in her sleep. God she's beautiful, I think. She's all I truly have left in this world. We have worked side by side for over six years. We've had our fights and our moments of happiness. She may not always have believed in the truth like Diana, but she always believed in me. Something inside me trembles at the sight of her so beautiful and innocent. I knew I loved her, knew it since the second I confessed to her in the hallway and tried to kiss her.
The kiss. I tremble even more at the thought of it. My lips gently brushing hers, barely tasting the sweet essence of her. I push the thought away. My love for her I try to keep hidden now, due to the world is conspiring to keep us apart.
My eyes travel up to her face and I freeze as I find her awake, her crystal blue eyes staring back at me. I want to flee, but those mesmerizing eyes pin me in place. She keeps her gaze locked on me as she moves off the bed towards me, her white gown flowing like water around her with her movements. I shake once more as she stops in front of me so close I can feel the warmth of her.
"Fox," She says softly. She brings a hand up to touch my face and it takes all my strength not to flinch from her caress. I want this so badly, yet I am afraid of the consequences it will reap. I'm afraid if she touches me in this way we'll be torn apart and taken away from each other. Yet when her hand comes into contact with my cheek nothing happens. No viruses, no bees, no shadowy government assassins appearing out of the mist.
All that happens is my pulse speeding out of control at the feel of her skin against mine. I sigh and lean into her touch. This feels so natural, so right. I look into her eyes and the fear grips me again for what I see crashing in the sea-blue color. She steps closer and I step away in panic.
"Why do you fight this?"
It's a simple question and thousands of good answers race through my mind but they all disappear when I look at her face.
"I know you want this too."
I can only nod dumbly as a response. She steps closer once again and I can't move this time. The air catches in my chest and I'm hypnotized by the desire by the desire I see in her eyes.
"Let it happen Fox, just let it happen."
Time slows down as she reaches up towards me, bringing her lips towards mine. I hesitate, but then move forward to meet her halfway. Just as my lips brush against hers, I hear a noise and pull away in panic.
Diana shifts her position on the bed and then goes still again, undisturbed. Scully looks over at her, then back at me. "You're afraid of her knowing about us, aren't you?" she asks. I start to protest, to tell her no. Tell her she's the only thing in this world that I care about and I don't care who knows, but she silences me with laying a finger on my lips. I fall quiet instantly and she leans towards me again as if to disturbed kiss once more. She stops her advance, hovering a mere inch from my lips. I barely hear her as she whispers "Choose, Fox. Choose one of us."
The dream ends. No more feelings of Scully on my lips, no more visions of Diana in peaceful sleep. Only the empty bed I lay in, the bare motel room, my remaining need. Choose one of us, choose one of us. Her whispered ultimatum echoes through my mind as I sit up in the bed. Before I can rationalize, before I can become afraid, I climbed out of the bed and stand in front of the connecting door of our rooms. I hesitate for a moment.
Choose, Fox.
The uncertainty fades and I open the door silently and walk into her room. She lays in the bed; this time in gray, not white. The comforter is pulled up to her chest, her dark strawberry hair framing her face. She breathes deeply in her sleep, not woken by my intrusion. I kneel down and place a kiss gently on her beautiful lips as she continues to sleep. Soft, light, I let it linger a moment then pull away from her. "I love you Dana," I say to her as she remains captured in slumber. I look at her a moment longer then retreat to my lonely bed.
***
The door closes behind him as he leaves and the room is descended back into the normal, almost silent, nighttime noises. Slowly her sea-blue eyes open and timidly she touches three fingertips to her lips. "I love you too Fox," She whispers to the night.