Chapter Five
"I AM NOT TRAVELING WITH GANONDORF!" Link shouted at the top of his lungs. "YOU'RE CRAZY!!!"
"Link, calm down," Kielke reassured him. "If you'll just--"
"Calm down?" Link repeated. "Calm down? You're asking me to travel to an isolated dungeon full of Goddesses know what, with the same guy who's planning on killing me? And you're asking me to CALM DOWN?!"
"Yes," Kielke answered in a toneless voice. "Calm down. Like I said, I'll be going with you to make sure you both don't kill each other." She shot a vicious glare at Ganondorf, who had such a look of smugness on his face that Link felt like smacking it off with the flat of the Master Sword.
"And you behave yourself," Kielke ordered at Ganondorf. "I don't care if you do have the Triforce of Power, I can still kick your male Gerudo ass."
The smug look on Ganondorf's face vanished, replaced by a bright red blush instead.
"The only reason he has the Triforce of Power is because he stole it," Link muttered. Kielke shot him a look.
"And you keep your mouth shut," she snapped. "I came close to killing you last time, I can very easily finish the job."
At that point Ganondorf's cronie Teria came scampering up like a weasel, holding the reins of three horses: Link's own chestnut mare Epona, Ganondorf's noble and proud coal-black stallion, and a dapple-gray gelding, apparently for Kielke. Teria handed the reins to Ganondorf, bowed quickly, and shooting a death glare at Kielke, scampered off again.
Link grinned at Kielke as he snatched Epona's reins away from Ganondorf. "She doesn't like you very much, does she?" Kielke laughed.
"Who, Teria?" she giggled. "That rat's hated me from the beginning. Ever since Ganon and I forged our alliance. Jealous, I guess."
"The way you keep egging her on, I'm surprised she hasn't threatened to kill you yet. Or at least tried," Ganondorf said, handing the gelding's reins off to Kielke.
Link ignored the argument that followed, and he checked to see if all his weapons and things were still in Epona's saddlebags. Bow, check. Arrows: light, fire, ice, and normal, check. Bottles, check. A few fairies in them. That was good, considering he had no idea what he was up against.
Hookshot, check. Megaton hammer, check. Iron and Hover boots, check. Ocarina, check. Did it work? Link took it out and blew a long, shrill note on it. Ganondorf and Kielke stopped their fight to glare at him.
"We can hear just fine, Link," Kielke snapped.
"Just testing," Link replied, trying to contain his laughter.
"Well, hurry up," she said impatiently. "We need to get going if we're going to catch up to Akuma."
"Yeah, I'm done," Link said, after a quick peek to make sure he had plenty of bombs and Bombchus. He swung up into Epona's saddle and waited for the others.
"You might want to wait outside when we reach Akuma's dungeon," Ganondorf said to Link as they left the Gerudo fortress and approached a thick, dark forest.
"Why is that?" Link said, preparing himself for a bout of bad jokes.
"Because they say that kids are afraid of the dark."
Kielke glared at Ganondorf. "You're afraid of the dark, too, Ganon. You know you are." She sped her horse into a fast trot, and Link did the same soon after.
Ganondorf fell behind them, turning red. "I am not," he said with a growl.
"You are too," Kielke shouted back over her shoulder.
"AM NOT!"
"ARE TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!"
"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!" Link shouted at them. "Goddesses! You're acting like a couple of five-year-olds, for crying out loud!"
The rest of the trip into the forest consisted of Ganondorf and Kielke throwing acorns and juniper berries at each other and an occasional handful of dirt. Link rode ahead of them, trying to figure out what exactly it was that he'd gotten himself into.
Ten hours later...
The threesome emerged into a forest clearing, with Ganondorf leading the way now. Link gazed around the clearing and picked a few burrs off his tunic, saying, "Thanks a lot, Ganondork. Now we're lost."
"Don't call me Ganondork! Besides, we're not lost. I know exactly where we're going."
"I'm calling you Ganondork because you ARE a dork. And don't you think that big tree over there looks kinda familiar?" Link pointed to a large tree with a trunk as big around as the Deku Tree's.
Ganondorf turned to look at the tree. "Now that you mention it, it does."
"Yeah, we've passed it about five times now," Link continued. "So don't you give me that crap that we're not lost."
"Both of you settle down," Kielke snapped, dismounting her gray gelding. "We'll camp here tonight, then figure it all out in the morning."
Link shook his head. "Who knows what could be happening to Princess Zelda right now. We need to find Akuma's dungeon before nightfall."
Kielke glared at him. "You know, you really need to get your head out of rescuing Zelda. Instead, start wondering how Hyrule would be like if Akuma became flesh again."
Link glared back. "I don't know, but that's why we need to get Zelda back, right? If Akuma doesn't have Zelda, she can't become flesh."
Ganondorf laughed. It wasn't a pleasant sound. "Right. You expect me to believe that it's just your duty to rescue Zelda and defend Hyrule? I've seen you two. You're head over heels in love with Zelda."
"You shut up!" Link shouted, turning bright red.
Kielke sighed. "Men. Always chasing after some girl. But on the other hand, Link, you're right about Akuma." She craned her neck up to look at Ganondorf. "Hey Ganon--hold still for a minute."
The seven-and-a-half foot King of Evil stiffened. "Why?" he demanded.
"Just do it!"
Ganondorf reluctantly stood still, and Link had to keep in his laughter as Kielke climbed up onto Ganondorf's shoulders. Enraged, Ganondorf squirmed and wriggled, trying to throw Kielke off. He was rewarded with a kick in the head as Kielke stood up, her feet on both his shoulders.
"Quit wiggling! Stand still, dammit!"
Link finally couldn't hold it in, and he laughed even harder as Kielke started scouting around for the way out of the forest.
"What do you know? Ganon's a lookout post!" And the Hero of Time collapsed to the ground in laughter as Ganondorf turned redder and redder every minute.
"I AM NOT TRAVELING WITH GANONDORF!" Link shouted at the top of his lungs. "YOU'RE CRAZY!!!"
"Link, calm down," Kielke reassured him. "If you'll just--"
"Calm down?" Link repeated. "Calm down? You're asking me to travel to an isolated dungeon full of Goddesses know what, with the same guy who's planning on killing me? And you're asking me to CALM DOWN?!"
"Yes," Kielke answered in a toneless voice. "Calm down. Like I said, I'll be going with you to make sure you both don't kill each other." She shot a vicious glare at Ganondorf, who had such a look of smugness on his face that Link felt like smacking it off with the flat of the Master Sword.
"And you behave yourself," Kielke ordered at Ganondorf. "I don't care if you do have the Triforce of Power, I can still kick your male Gerudo ass."
The smug look on Ganondorf's face vanished, replaced by a bright red blush instead.
"The only reason he has the Triforce of Power is because he stole it," Link muttered. Kielke shot him a look.
"And you keep your mouth shut," she snapped. "I came close to killing you last time, I can very easily finish the job."
At that point Ganondorf's cronie Teria came scampering up like a weasel, holding the reins of three horses: Link's own chestnut mare Epona, Ganondorf's noble and proud coal-black stallion, and a dapple-gray gelding, apparently for Kielke. Teria handed the reins to Ganondorf, bowed quickly, and shooting a death glare at Kielke, scampered off again.
Link grinned at Kielke as he snatched Epona's reins away from Ganondorf. "She doesn't like you very much, does she?" Kielke laughed.
"Who, Teria?" she giggled. "That rat's hated me from the beginning. Ever since Ganon and I forged our alliance. Jealous, I guess."
"The way you keep egging her on, I'm surprised she hasn't threatened to kill you yet. Or at least tried," Ganondorf said, handing the gelding's reins off to Kielke.
Link ignored the argument that followed, and he checked to see if all his weapons and things were still in Epona's saddlebags. Bow, check. Arrows: light, fire, ice, and normal, check. Bottles, check. A few fairies in them. That was good, considering he had no idea what he was up against.
Hookshot, check. Megaton hammer, check. Iron and Hover boots, check. Ocarina, check. Did it work? Link took it out and blew a long, shrill note on it. Ganondorf and Kielke stopped their fight to glare at him.
"We can hear just fine, Link," Kielke snapped.
"Just testing," Link replied, trying to contain his laughter.
"Well, hurry up," she said impatiently. "We need to get going if we're going to catch up to Akuma."
"Yeah, I'm done," Link said, after a quick peek to make sure he had plenty of bombs and Bombchus. He swung up into Epona's saddle and waited for the others.
"You might want to wait outside when we reach Akuma's dungeon," Ganondorf said to Link as they left the Gerudo fortress and approached a thick, dark forest.
"Why is that?" Link said, preparing himself for a bout of bad jokes.
"Because they say that kids are afraid of the dark."
Kielke glared at Ganondorf. "You're afraid of the dark, too, Ganon. You know you are." She sped her horse into a fast trot, and Link did the same soon after.
Ganondorf fell behind them, turning red. "I am not," he said with a growl.
"You are too," Kielke shouted back over her shoulder.
"AM NOT!"
"ARE TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!"
"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!" Link shouted at them. "Goddesses! You're acting like a couple of five-year-olds, for crying out loud!"
The rest of the trip into the forest consisted of Ganondorf and Kielke throwing acorns and juniper berries at each other and an occasional handful of dirt. Link rode ahead of them, trying to figure out what exactly it was that he'd gotten himself into.
Ten hours later...
The threesome emerged into a forest clearing, with Ganondorf leading the way now. Link gazed around the clearing and picked a few burrs off his tunic, saying, "Thanks a lot, Ganondork. Now we're lost."
"Don't call me Ganondork! Besides, we're not lost. I know exactly where we're going."
"I'm calling you Ganondork because you ARE a dork. And don't you think that big tree over there looks kinda familiar?" Link pointed to a large tree with a trunk as big around as the Deku Tree's.
Ganondorf turned to look at the tree. "Now that you mention it, it does."
"Yeah, we've passed it about five times now," Link continued. "So don't you give me that crap that we're not lost."
"Both of you settle down," Kielke snapped, dismounting her gray gelding. "We'll camp here tonight, then figure it all out in the morning."
Link shook his head. "Who knows what could be happening to Princess Zelda right now. We need to find Akuma's dungeon before nightfall."
Kielke glared at him. "You know, you really need to get your head out of rescuing Zelda. Instead, start wondering how Hyrule would be like if Akuma became flesh again."
Link glared back. "I don't know, but that's why we need to get Zelda back, right? If Akuma doesn't have Zelda, she can't become flesh."
Ganondorf laughed. It wasn't a pleasant sound. "Right. You expect me to believe that it's just your duty to rescue Zelda and defend Hyrule? I've seen you two. You're head over heels in love with Zelda."
"You shut up!" Link shouted, turning bright red.
Kielke sighed. "Men. Always chasing after some girl. But on the other hand, Link, you're right about Akuma." She craned her neck up to look at Ganondorf. "Hey Ganon--hold still for a minute."
The seven-and-a-half foot King of Evil stiffened. "Why?" he demanded.
"Just do it!"
Ganondorf reluctantly stood still, and Link had to keep in his laughter as Kielke climbed up onto Ganondorf's shoulders. Enraged, Ganondorf squirmed and wriggled, trying to throw Kielke off. He was rewarded with a kick in the head as Kielke stood up, her feet on both his shoulders.
"Quit wiggling! Stand still, dammit!"
Link finally couldn't hold it in, and he laughed even harder as Kielke started scouting around for the way out of the forest.
"What do you know? Ganon's a lookout post!" And the Hero of Time collapsed to the ground in laughter as Ganondorf turned redder and redder every minute.