A/N
Okay, oddness, definite oddness. This
is the next part of Dolor Orexis, it's a filk of sorts, only not to a
song. This is my version of Green
Eggs and Ham, so that's where to look for reference...I had to change a bit
of the scripting to fit my purposes, but otherwise it's the same sort of
format. Er...enjoy, I guess. ::shrugs, then starts to walk away,
muttering, "Sacrilege. It is *not*
sacrilege! I can't believe Emmy thinks
it's sacrilege..."::
Disclaimer:
All HP characters belong to J. K. Green Eggs and Ham belongs to Dr.
Seuss, and this story belongs to Ashitaka in Princess Mononoke. Who belongs to the people who made him
up. Dedicated to my friend Emily who
made this story at least halfway legible. Oh, something you might want to know: this is a conversation between
Hermione and Fate. Fate is the
italics. The "silver eyes and hair" guy
is Malfoy.
Fate-Is-There.
There-Is-Fate.
"That
Fate-Is-There, that Fate-Is-There, I do not like that Fate-Is-There."
Do
you like silver eyes and hair?
"I
do not like him, Fate-Is-There. I do
not like silver eyes and hair."
Would
you like him here or there?
"I would not like him here or there. I would not like him anywhere. I do not like silver eyes and hair. I do not like him, Fate-Is-There."
Would
you like him in a house?
"I
would not like the little louse. I
would not like him in a house. I would
not like him here or there. I would not
like him anywhere. I do not like silver
eyes and hair. I do not like him,
Fate-Is-There."
Would
you like him in a box?
"I
would not like him in Fort Knox! Not in
a box. Not in Fort Knox. Not in a house. Not *that* little louse. I
would not like him here or there. I
would not like him anywhere. I do not
like silver eyes and hair. I do not
like him, Fate-Is-There!"
Would you? Could you? The way he is? Take him! Take him! Here he is!
"I
would not, could not the way he is. Not
in a box. Not in Fort Knox. Not in a house. Not *that* little louse. I
would not like him here or there. I
would not like him anywhere. I do not
like silver eyes and hair. I do not
like him, Fate-Is-There!"
You may like him. You will see. You may like him. Come with me!
(Fate
brings Hermione to the Slytherin common room where people look around at her in
a bewildered fashion. Hermione makes
stuttering excuses.)
"I
would not, could not, that's not me! Not like he is! You let me
be! I would not like him in a box. I would not like him in Fort Knox. I would not like him in a house. I would not like *that* little louse. I would not like him here or there. I would not like him anywhere. I do not like silver eyes and hair. I do not like him, Fate-Is-There!"
Alone! Alone! Could you, would you, all alone?
"Not
all alone! Not him with me! Not me with him, Fate, let me be! I would not like him the way he is! I would not like him in a box. I would not like him in Fort Knox. I would not like him in a house. I would not like *that* little louse. I would not like him here or there. I would not like him anywhere. I do not like silver eyes and hair. I do not like him, Fate-Is-There!"
Say! In the dark? Here in the dark! Would you, could you, in the dark?
"Oh,
God! I would not, could not, in the
dark!"
Would
you, could you, in the rain?
"No,
Fate, no! He's such a pain! Not in the rain. Not in the dark. Not all
alone. Not the way he is. I do not like him, Fate, you see. I would not like him in a box. I would not like him in Fort Knox. I would not like him in a house. I would not like *that* little louse. I would not like him here or there. I would not like him anywhere. I do not like silver eyes and hair. I do not like him, Fate-Is-There!"
You
do not like silver eyes and hair?
"I
do not like him, Fate-Is-There."
Would
you, could you, on a lark? ?
"I
would not, could not, on a lark. Not in
the rain. Not in the dark. Not all alone. Not the way he is. I would
not like him in a box. I would not like
him in Fort Knox. I would not like him
in a house. I would not like *that*
little louse. I would not like him here
or there. I would not like him
anywhere. I do not like silver eyes and
hair. I do not like him, Fate-Is-There!"
You do not like him, so you say. Try him! Try him! And you may. Try him and you may, I say.
"Fate! If you will let me be, I will try him. You will see."
(With
a resigned and exasperated look, Hermione kisses a very confused Draco.)
"Say! I do like silver eyes and hair! I do! I like him, Fate-Is-There! And I
would kiss him on a lark. And I would
kiss him in the rain. And I would kiss
him in the dark, and all alone, and the way he is. He is so cute, so cute, you see! I would kiss him in a box, and I would kiss him in Fort Knox, and in a
house, even if he is a little louse. I
would kiss him here or there. I would
kiss him anywhere! I do so like silver
eyes and hair. Thank you! Thank you, Fate-Is-There!"
A/N2 See, now wasn't that
odd? You can replace "kiss" with
anything you'd like, I just used that for lack of a better phrase. What'd you think? You can tell me in a review, and Dr. Seuss, for one, would appreciate
it…