"Buffy," The word that whispered across his lip sounded like some killer bunny rabbit's penname. But the woman… oh, the woman…

Spike drew in another ragged, sobbing breath, trying to stop the pain looking at her pictures caused his head. Was the chip trying to tell him his love would someday hurt her? He'd put a stake through his own heart before causing her to come to harm, but he couldn't stop loving her either. Maybe it was a little bit selfish, but he had his excuses.

Sex only satisfied a man so far, after all.

"Normal… I am what I am.." Spike paced around the dark room, muttering his thoughts aloud.

"What are you doing, Spikey baby?" The latest blonde's voice grated through his head. The woman might look like Buffy, but the likeness only went so far…

"Shut up, Sarah."

"It's Mara, Spikey-darling!" She whined at his soft snarl.

"Melissa," Spike ignored her correction and endearment. He continued pacing, "If you were the wooing kind, how would you want to be… wooed?"

The slight insult went right over her head. "Oh! You're going to get me a present?!" She shrieked excitedly. She began jumping up and down like a little kid.

"I'm no Santa Clause, Marissa…" He rumbled at her. Then an idea sparked. "You're a genius!"

Spike raced out of the room, a new purpose to his life.

"I'm a what?" Mara blinked in confusion.

Spike walked briskly down the sidewalk. He would have blended with the shadows easily if he wasn't practically whistling.


"Damn bloody pounds!" He yelled in frustration when he realized the doors were locked. "I thought everything was open 24 hours these days!"

A small pin in the pocket of his leather jacket made picking the lock easier, but not by much. Spike froze when he heard a man humming inside. What would it look like, him standing there with a bloody pick in the door?

That thought was instantly replaced. What does it matter what it would look like! He's a vampire!

A quick prick from the chip reminded Spike that he couldn't even THINK about killing the guard.

"A different approach is required." He said determinedly before schooling his features into a imperious expression. The knock set off a rush of barking from inside.

"Shut up!" a coarse voice yelled. Footsteps echoed as they came closer to the door. "Who are you?" a paunchy, hairy guy rumbled after opening the door.

The smell of the guy washed over Spike, and the mask nearly slipped. "Humane Society Inspection. Sorry about the time."