This is what happens when Linda is playing too much with "Ask Alcmene" on Hercless.com
L: *waving at Alcmeme* Hi, is your son at home?
A: OOOOHH JASON! Oh I'm sorry, what did you say?
L: *frown* I-s y-o-u-r s-o-n a-t h-o-m-e?
A: Did Zeus seduce you too?
L: *frown even more* No, he didn't! As I was asking you before, is your son at home?
A: Is it just me or does Discord need some makeup tips?
L: ? No, it isn't…
A: Clean your room!
L: What?! But I don't need to!
A: I think that is one for the Gods to handle.
L: You don't like me? *looks sad*
A: What, I have another son too!?
L: No, no… *frown* That wasn't my question!
A: You have to clean your plate if you want dessert.
L: Alright….? Are you sure you're alright?
A: Stop trying to get your father's attention.
L: I'm not seeking my father's attention… Perhaps you want to talk about something?
A: I don't give dance lessons. But The Widow Twanky does!
L: Oh! I would like to meet her! *smiles*
A: Don't forget to wash your hands.
L: *sighs* You keep avoiding my questions… Where's Herc?!
A: What, I have another son too!?
L: You've already said that…
A: Blame Ares!
L: What does Ares have to do with that? Is he up to something? *panics* Don't worry, I'll take care of you!
A: Visit your mother more often.
L: Erm… Sure… If that would please you…
A: Is it just me or does Discord need some makeup tips?
L: Argh! You've already said that too!
A: Who are Ryan Gosling and Kevin Sorbo!?
L: Ohh! Ryan is a HOT hunk from the future!
A: Only someone working for Hera would ask something like that!
L: *gasp* I'll have you know Ryan looks exactly like Herc!
A: Yes, you studied at the academy didn't you?
L: No… I live in Hammarkroken!
A: No, but how about some lemonade?
L: Yes, I do!! I don't want lemonade! I want Hercules! Where is he?
A: Is it just me or does Discord need some makeup tips?
L: That's the third time you've asked me that! If you don't stop I'm going!
A: Did Zeus seduce you too?
L: Aaaaaah! *gets mad* Okay, I'm leaving!!!
A: If that happens I'm going to marry the King of Corinth!
L: What?!?!?! *offended* That's it!! I'm leaving!! And by the way, you will marry Jason! Yuck!!
A: No, I'm sorry I can't. Hercules gets upset when I date.
L: I wasn't asking you for a date!! I'm going…
A: Clean your room!
L: Tsssch…. Fine… Bye!
A: Yes, thank the Gods!
L: *really offended* Well, you… you… You should be happy I'm not here with Jackee… Hahahahaah!! She would kill you!! I don't like you! Jackee…… *whines* Where are you?
A: Yes, and you will surely go to the Elysian Fields.
L: *panics* She's dead?? Jay……!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
A: Ask me when I'm not kidnapped.
L: I'm not kinapping you!! I'm going to find Herc and Jay!
A: Don't use that language in my house!
L: #!@&! I'll swear how [beep] much I want too!! Bye!
A: Help me in the garden and we'll talk about it.
L: So you'll answer my questions?
A: There's leftover fish and feta popovers in the fridge. That always helps me find the answers.
L: Argh! Argh! Urkbullar!! Bye!!
A: You want to do WHAT with my son!?
L: Whoops… You can read my mind?
A: Yes, and you will surely go to the Elysian Fields.
L: Um… thanks?? Anyways, I need to go, before you will drive me mad!!!
A: I don't see anything wrong with dating your son's friends.
L: Well, I do… Bye…
A: Don't forget to wash your hands.
L: *screams while she keeps running away further in the forest*
A: My son Hercules is single you know!