The silence lay heavy in his ears. Usually so restful, today it was an indication of something wrong. That was it! It was -quiet-. There was no Wolfrider maiden-- Ebony-- plauging him. Gracefully, he settled himself in his favorite chair, calling the circular shape out of the wall. Opening his favorite book, he relaxed and started enjoying his solitude. But he couldn't give himself up to the story. His attention kept jumping from the words, expecting to hear Ebony at any moment.
He tried to command his attention and focus it on the book, but to no avail. It was -too- quiet without Ebony. At last he gave up in exasperation. Shoving himself out of his chair, he went in search of Ebony. If he knew where she was, then he couldn't drive himself crazy expecting her to pop up at any moment.
Ebony hiccupped slightly as she continued to cry. She hated losing wolf-friends, and Darkpaws had been such a good friend. He had known her, had understood her as much as a wolf-friend possibly could. She could have trusted him with her life, and *had* trusted him with her soul-name, a name known to only two others. Now, outside the Palace on a knoll that she and Skywise watched the stars from, she could do nothing but remember Darkpaws. And she sent out her thoughts to him, hoping that somehow he could possibly feel them.
She was not beautiful when she was like this. Her skin was too pale to stay lovely when she cried. And she did not cry delicately either. She gave it everything she had. Her skin became red-spotted, her eyes bloodshot. And her nose looked huge.
Inwardly she railed at the thought of her loss. Why did she have to care about her wolf-friends so much? It wasn't fair that she should live on when they were taken from her so very often.
Briefly, her mind turned to Rayek. He still wouldn't truly let her close. But quickly the thought was shut out. He didn't want her around, fine. She didn't feel like facing him anyway.
She sniffled softly, and the sound brought her mind back to the reason she was crying. Darkpaws. Her tears began again. She rubbed her eyes gracelessly with the sleeve of her linen tunic, thankful that it was not leather. She flopped over on her stomach, giving into the tears yet again.
Finally cried out, with a face that looked just this side of the humans' Doom Pit, she fell into a fitfully exhausted slumber. Every so often, though, a sob would work its way through her sleeping form. The night slowly became colder, and though she did not waken, Ebony shivered softly in her sleep. And another tear watered the grass beneath her.
Having searched through what he considered the "Wolfrider haunts" with no sign of Ebony, he paused to think. He could trek all over the Palace, ask someone if they've seen her, or seek for her mind. There was no question, really. Standing still, he sent his mind out, 'listening' to the thoughts around him.
Eventually she woke, but instead of moving, she merely stared sightlessly out into the night. She didn't care what happened right then. I should have helped him, she thought to herself. I should have saved him. It's my fault he's dead. Always my fault....
Not finding Ebony in the Palace, he widened his range and found her outside. The deep grief he felt emenating from her caused him some alarm, and he set out immediately to find her physically.
Never do anything right.... Always me.... Her thoughts stilled as more tears came. She had thought herself cried out. But instead, here was a fresh batch. They left tracks of salt down her cheeks, returned to her eyes the bloodshot gaze, gave her cheeks their rosy blotches back. And Ebony hiccupped again as she continued to cry. After everything, she had still never found a way to deal comfortably with death.
Stuffing her fist into her mouth to stop the tears, she bit down, not noticing the blood she was drawing. Her mind was not on what she was doing.
"You should be inside," Rayek said, landing near her.
She didn't notice his arrival.
Seeing the still form of what had to be Ebony's dead wolf-friend, Rayek's face grew grave. Kneeling in front of her, he touched her shoulder. "I am sorry for your loss. But you should be inside."
Slowly, Ebony reached out again to touch the soft fur of the wolf-friend she had lost. And the bites were obvious. Rayek hissed. "High Ones, what have you done to yourself?"
Ebony's eyes focussed without recognition on Rayek. Slowly, they began the long change towards understanding. "What have I . . . ?" she repeated.
"You are bleeding."
She touched his cheek gently, in confusion and wonderment. "Rayek...."
"You've evidently bitten yourself."
"Please...." She curled up, not knowing how to continue. Finally, she found the words. "Please help me...."
"You need to see Leetah." Without another word, he scooped her up and carried her into the Palace.
Ebony sat in Leetah's Healing Den within the Palace, allowing the healer to tend to her bites. Her face was closed off, and drawn, her eyes still red from her tears. But the eyes were dry now. She stared down at Leetah's working hands blankly.
Rayek waited in the doordway, he wanted to be sure that Ebony was all right before he went back to his book. Eventually, Leetah moved away from the dark huntress, going to Rayek. "Thank you, old friend." Leetah's soft words caught Rayek's attention.
He nodded and, taking that as his proof of Ebony's safety, turned to go. Rayek heard Leetah move back to Ebony as he slowly walked away. He could hear soft words, though he could not quite make them out. And suddenly, he heard the Wolfrider maiden yell out, "What would YOU know about it, Healer?!" The title sounded like an insult on Ebony's tongue. And a dark form barrelled past him. He blinked startledly after the running figure. What had set her off?
Leetah stepped gently around Rayek, rubbing her cheek. There was a resigned expression on her face. Her motion caught Rayek's stunned attention. "She struck you?!"
Leetah turned, graceful as always. "Yes," she said solemnly. "Sometimes, that can be the best healing."
Rayek's protest died unspoken as he recalled the Challenge he had sent Cutter so many years ago. It had been the only way to heal Cutter of the pain Rayek had inflicted on him by stealing his family. He wished there were such an easy solution to -his- problems.
As if in answer to his thoughts, Leetah nodded. "She will be fine once she has worked through her grief. And most of the elves know not to get close to her when she's like this."
Nodding, he added "There are some things you need to be alone for."
Leetah's brow furrowed. "I don't know. I think it's really just that she's never had anyone to talk to about such things."
"You and I are not the best choices," he said calmly. "Neither of us have ever lost a wolf-friend."
"I could wish she would talk to Cutter about it. But I think she remembers her history too vividly for that." Leetah sighed.
"What history?" he asked despite himself.
Leetah smiled gently. It was a sad smile, and a sad history, though one she remembered well. Turning to face Rayek, she told him Ebony's story of Madcoil, and the aftermath of the monster's massacre. She stopped after explaining how Ebony had come to be given such a name. Her telling was not as good as she remembered Ebony's being, but it was vivid enough a description to make Rayek shiver.
"She... has a strong spirit," he said quietly, looking in the direction she had taken.
"Yes." Leetah thought for a long minute. "She tries too hard, sometimes, though. She desperately wants to carry all the burdens of the tribe herself, so that no one else would ever worry. But that is not her place, as Cutter often reminds her."
Rayek nodded. Whether it was deliberate or not, he missed Leetah's hint to go after Ebony. "I hope that her grief will end soon," he said.
Leetah's mouth turned downward in a frown for a brief moment before she looked up at Rayek with a considering gaze.
He raised an eyebrow enquiringly.
"You could talk to her. The two of you are so alike, that you would understand her." She nodded as she said it. "She has no dark memories of you. She could talk to you."
He stepped back a quarter step. "No dark memories of me? After what I did to her soul-brother? Hah," he laughed bitterly. "Besides, she wants no company now."
"Whether she wants the company or not, she needs it. And you would be the best choice." Leetah did not mention that after Ebony had gotten over her anger from the kidnapping, she had begun probing Leetah for stories of Rayek.
He shrugged irately. "Leetah, I am the last one for anyone to talk to, let alone this Wolfrider."
Leetah looked away, her eyes closing for a long moment. "If I thought it would make any difference, I'd beg you to help her. But I, of anyone, know how stubborn you are." Her words trailed into a whisper, and she turned away from him completely.
"Leetah, what in Voll's name makes you think -I- can help her?" He was stung by the implied reproach in her words.
Leetah looked back at him. "I told you. The two of you are so very much alike." There was no denying the hurt look in her eyes.
He still hated disappointing her. "Fine. I will -try- to talk to Ebony. But I make no promises!"
In the process of hugging herself, her arms stilled, and she glanced back up at Rayek. The look in her gaze was a mixture of happiness and hope. "You will?"
"I will -try-," he reminded her shortly.
In response, Leetah threw her arms around her old friend. "Thank you," she whispered.
He sighed. "You're welcome." Gently he pulled away and set off in search of Ebony, thinking that if he didn't know better, he'd swear he'd just been manipulated.