Disclaimer: I do not own Lara Croft.(if i was, i'd be filthy stinking rich!) Lara Croft and
the Tomb Raider Series is created and owned by Eido. Please don't flame me. This is just a
fanfic. Tomb Raider is ok and so is Eido.
Lara Croft ran down the muddy hills of the forest. It rained in buckets but the rich canopy
of the treetops shelter her from it. Mud clung to her body, her clothes, stained with sweat
and rain reeked of body oder. She heard the aggrivated shrieks of tribal men behind her. They
were starved, they hadn't eaten in weeks. But when they spied Lara, a fresh young vixen with
boobies which could feed their tribe for the next fifty years, they had to go after her. They
were hungry! (and it wasn't just their stomachs that was hungry, either).
Lara glanced behind her. They were gaining up on her, screaming: "Eido! Eido! Eido!"
Poor stupid girl. She ran smack into a wall. She would have broken her nose, but her
gigantic tits acted as an airbag (similar to the inside of Lara's head) and she richocheted
back. Lara tripped and fell off a seven hundred foot tall cliff. She fell on the ground
with a thud, and cracked her skull onto the ground, blood seeping out. You and I would
normally die, but not her. She just came back to life!
She stood up and then glanced around. There were a couple of pandas just waiting for
her. Snarling, they charged after her. She whipped out her guns and annihalated them
mindlessly. She would have shot them all to see if they were really dead except for the
rough hands which grabbed her from behind. A man with almond shaped eyes screamed at her in
Chinese-accented English,"Idiot!"he screamed. "You just shot the remaining wild population
of pandas in China!"
The police pounced on her not long after that. She was dragged into jail and was
sentenced to life in prision. The judge also ordered to have the silicone implants removed.
Somehow, SOMEHOW, the silicone implants wouldn't come out of her body. Then the
Eido Company came charging in, yelling at the doctors for trying to change an icon. They
didn't want to change her because the male population, (and lesbians) wouldn't stop looking
at her tits, thus promoting their product. They got into a humongous brawl, punching each
other and cursing. They kept up this brawl Jerry Springer style, until they head a warning
bell. Lara Croft died on the operating table. Now they had to create some genetically
mutated female with size Z breasts to captivate horny buyers.
THE END!
the Tomb Raider Series is created and owned by Eido. Please don't flame me. This is just a
fanfic. Tomb Raider is ok and so is Eido.
Lara Croft ran down the muddy hills of the forest. It rained in buckets but the rich canopy
of the treetops shelter her from it. Mud clung to her body, her clothes, stained with sweat
and rain reeked of body oder. She heard the aggrivated shrieks of tribal men behind her. They
were starved, they hadn't eaten in weeks. But when they spied Lara, a fresh young vixen with
boobies which could feed their tribe for the next fifty years, they had to go after her. They
were hungry! (and it wasn't just their stomachs that was hungry, either).
Lara glanced behind her. They were gaining up on her, screaming: "Eido! Eido! Eido!"
Poor stupid girl. She ran smack into a wall. She would have broken her nose, but her
gigantic tits acted as an airbag (similar to the inside of Lara's head) and she richocheted
back. Lara tripped and fell off a seven hundred foot tall cliff. She fell on the ground
with a thud, and cracked her skull onto the ground, blood seeping out. You and I would
normally die, but not her. She just came back to life!
She stood up and then glanced around. There were a couple of pandas just waiting for
her. Snarling, they charged after her. She whipped out her guns and annihalated them
mindlessly. She would have shot them all to see if they were really dead except for the
rough hands which grabbed her from behind. A man with almond shaped eyes screamed at her in
Chinese-accented English,"Idiot!"he screamed. "You just shot the remaining wild population
of pandas in China!"
The police pounced on her not long after that. She was dragged into jail and was
sentenced to life in prision. The judge also ordered to have the silicone implants removed.
Somehow, SOMEHOW, the silicone implants wouldn't come out of her body. Then the
Eido Company came charging in, yelling at the doctors for trying to change an icon. They
didn't want to change her because the male population, (and lesbians) wouldn't stop looking
at her tits, thus promoting their product. They got into a humongous brawl, punching each
other and cursing. They kept up this brawl Jerry Springer style, until they head a warning
bell. Lara Croft died on the operating table. Now they had to create some genetically
mutated female with size Z breasts to captivate horny buyers.
THE END!