A Day in the Life of Cid Highwind
By: Melody-chan
Cid: Goddamit! Where's that damn Turk?
Yuffie: I don't know. Why don't you sit down with me and…
Cid: Go to hell!! Where's Vincent?
Yuffie: Would you shut up about Vincent?
Cid: No! Kiss my ass!! *storms out*
[Walks into the bar where Barrett is drinking]
Cid: Dammit sonofabitch argghhh!!
Barret: Nice ta see you too, Cid.
Cid: Shove it!! I'm in no mood to take your shit!!!
Barrett: Can't find Vincent again?
Cid: Kiss my ass!!
Barrett: Nope, gotta find Vincent for that…
Cid: Arggghhh!!! *storms out*
[Bumps into Yuffie right outside the bar]
Cid: Leave me the fuck alone!
Yuffie: But Cid…
Cid: Arrggghhhh!!! *storms away*
[Finds Hojo in a weird laboratory]
Cid: Have you seen my Vincent?
Hojo: Who haven't I seen? Would you like to test my new vaccine?
Cid: No! Get the fuck away from me!!
Hojo: Get back here!! *chases Cid with needle*
Cid: Crazy-ass madman!! Godammit!!
Hojo: Dammit, hold still!!
Cid: Argghh!!! Go to hell and leave me alone!! Damn hell ass crazy scientist!! *storms out*
[Runs into Yuffie outside the laboratory]
Cid: You fucking chasing me?
Yuffie: Cid, I love you!
Cid: Fuck it!! Get the hell away!! *storms away*
[Finds a Chocobo and rides out into the desert]
Cid: Have you seen Vincent?
Chocobo: Waaark?
Cid: Fucking stupid bird!!
Chocobo: Waark!!
Cid: Kiss my ass!!
Chocobo: Waark waark waaaaark!! *stops short, sending Cid flying off* Waark waark!!
Cid: Goddamn impertinent sonofabitch!!
[Runs into Yuffie again]
Cid: You fucking crazy?
Yuffie: We belong together, Cid!
Cid: The fuck we do!! *storms off*
[Goes back to Rocket Town]
Vincent: Where's Cid?
Cid: How the hell should I know? Where's Vincent?
Vincent: Haven't seen him all day.
Cid: Damn stupid Turk!! *storms off*
[Runs into Yuffie yet -again-]
Cid: Damn stupid woman!! You aimin' to get yourself killed?
Yuffie: Cid, why don't you love me?
Cid: As it -that- wasn't fucking obvious! *storms off*
[Goes to the Tiny Bronco]
Cid: Have you seen Vincent anywhere?
Tiny Bronco: I'm a fucking plane!!
Cid: You don't have to be so goddamn happy about it!! *storms off*
[Goes to the Shinra Mansion]
Cid: Where's Vincent, you asshole?
Hidden Number: What the hell are you talking about?
Cid: WHERE'S MY VINCENT?
Hidden Number: You wanna fight me or not?
Cid: Shove it up your ass!! *storms out*
[Goes to Midgar Psychological]
Cid: Where's my fucking Vincent?
Nurse: If you'll wait for just a moment, I'll check the records.
Cid: Fuck that!! *storms into the ward*
Nurse: But you can't go in there!
Cid: Shove it!!
[Inside the Ward]
Cid: Damn crazy idiot, where's my Vincent?
Sephiroth: Huh?
Cid: Where's Vincent, you crackhead!! I want my Vincent!!
Sephiroth: Hi, my name is Sephiroth and I lost my mind several years ago. If you would like to leave a message, please wait for the tone.
Cid: What the fuck?
Sephiroth: TTTTOOOOOONNNNEEE!!!!
Cid: Shit! *storms out*
[Back at the Bar]
Barret: He's not here, man.
Cid: Dammit!! *storms out*
[Runs into Yuffie for the six hundredth time]
Cid: I ain't fucking talking to you! *storms off*
Yuffie: Ciiiiiiiid…
[At the Golden Saucer]
Cait Sith: So, you're obviously doomed to die because of these lines in your palm.
Man: I paid money for this?
Cait Sith: Fork it over, bitch!!
Man: That was a bunch of bullshit!!
Cait Sith: No shit, Sherlock!
Man: Crazy damn cat freak!!
Cait Sith: Get the hell out if you're not gonna pay!!
Cid: Where's Vincent?
Cait Sith: I can read your palm and tell you.
Cid: Don't give me that bullshit!!
Cait Sith: It'll cost you some materia!!
Cid: Fuck no!! I'm thinking you tell me where he is, or you get your fucking head blown off!!
Cait Sith: You don't have a gun, dumbass!!
Cid: The hell I don't! *pulls out Death Penalty*
Cait Sith: That's Vincent's!
Cid: No fucking shit!
Cait Sith: I don't know where he is!
Cid: Fucking useless cat!! *storms out*
[Back home]
Vincent: Have a nice day?
Cid: Yeah. Terrorized everyone. *cackles* You shoulda seen the look on Cait Sith's face when I pulled the Death Penalty on him!!
Vincent: Priceless, I'm sure.
Cid: And how. *hands back the Death Penalty* I think I'll get something to eat.