On the Run
Chapter 5: Love and Death
"I'm Nathan Talon," Nathan said, stepping up to the nearest service desk. The attendant nodded, and Joe and Max stepped up behind Nathan.
"Here's your message," the attendant said, handing the men a yellow sticky note.
"Thank you," Nathan said, accepting it. The men walked away, going to read their message in private.
"Meet us in the men's bathroom...third stall to the end," Nathan read. "That's it. The whole message."
"I think we'd look slightly wrong if all three of us stepped into a public bathroom stall together," Joe said.
"I agree," Max said, "but we have to."
"He's right," Nathan said, folding the note and putting it in his jeans pocket. "We're gonna have to go."
* * *
And so the three completely straight men walked through the small walkway leading into the men's bathroom. The wall was like shower tiles, providing an opaque view of the bathroom.
They stepped inside, noticing the many men answering Nature. Max walked past the stalls, getting to the stall they were looking for.
"It's taken," Max announced. Suddenly there was a flush sound, and an Indian man stepped out of the stall Max was standing in front of.
"It all yours," the man said in his thick Indian accent.
"Huh?" Max asked.
"Go in da stall," the man said. Max nodded.
"Thanks," he said. Max stepped into the stall, motioning for Nathan and Joe to come in.
The two shook their heads. "Wait for the other two next to you–" Joe began.
"Get in the darn stall with me so we can make animal sounds and go down under!" Max yelled. The whole bathroom grew quiet. "But no one else...we wanna do this alone."
The men nodded and went back to their business. Nathan and Joe stepped into the stall. Max locked the stall.
"Drop your pants but not your underwear," Max commanded. Nathan and Joe shook their heads.
There was a knock on the door. "Havin' fun?" asked a guy, who ran away laughing.
Max, Nathan, and Joe immediately dropped their pants and moved their legs back and forth, making animal sounds.
A fourth man appeared in the stall. "Nathan, I didn't know you were–"
"I'm not," Nathan said, pulling up his pants. "But it was a way to get in this stall."
"Quick thinkin', Nathan." The Italian man patted Nathan's pot belly and then his own.
"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vinny Vinicci, a member of the Vinicci family, the second largest family in New Orleans–we're talking about wizards here, of course."
"I'm Joe," Joe said, offering his hand for Vinny to shake. "Joe Young." Vinny hesitated for a moment, then shook Joe's hand.
"And that's Max," Nathan said. Max smiled at Vinny like they were old friends and shook his hand.
Joe thought he heard a whisper of conversation between Max and Vinny, but he couldn't be sure.
"Shall we go to the headquarters?" Vinny asked, clapping his hands together. His black hair (and a few white streaks) was slicked back, making him look like your typical Mafia man.
"Of course," Max said. And the four men disappeared, leaving a locked bathroom stall behind them.
* * *
Joel Coen, Colin Creevey, and George Weasley stepped humbly backstage at the Ministry press room. They had a press conference to attend to.
"Hello," Duke said as Joel stepped beside him. "Ready to go catch some killers?"
"Of course," Joel replied, smiling. "Not that it's funny."
"Of course not," Duke replied. "We start in five minutes."
"Really?" Joel asked.
"Yeah," Duke said. He turned to his friend, and he noticed the height difference between himself and Joel. Duke was a man with an average height, while Joel seemed to tower over him.
"I really wish I could go, Joel. I'm sure it'd be more fun than being Minister of Magic...I need some excitement in my life."
"Get a woman," Joel said. "Find some love...you're Minister of Magic, Duke. Can't be that hard. And besides...you need it." He smiled.
"You're joking, right?" Duke asked in between chuckles. Joel shook his head.
"When I get home," Joel said, "you better have a woman."
* * *
"Ladies and gentlemen, the Minister of Magic."
Duke stepped on the stage, a straight look on his face. He stepped up to the podium.
"I don't think I should be having to deal with fugitives on the first week of my term as Minister of Magic," Duke cracked. The audience laughed politely. Duke smiled.
"On a more serious note...I'd like to introduce Joel Coen, who will be heading up the search for Nathan, Max, and Joe. Joel?"
Joel stepped up from behind the curtain, nodding to Duke. "Thank you, Duke.
"The team out to catch Nathan, Max, and Joe–who are apparently already so famous we refer to them by first name–is made up of three men, including myself. First...we have Colin Creevey, Daily Prophet reporter, who will be following this for the press, providing the official story, as well as getting his hands dirty in all of this." Colin stepped from behind the curtain, taking his place next to Duke.
"I know many of you may wonder why we have chosen a reporter for this job." Joel paused, moving his eyes from one end of the crowd to the far end. "But I have every confidence in Mister Creevey. He was an excellent reporter during the election, and many of you may be reminded by his first story–which uncovered the truth behind Julius Kaiser. He is investigative reporting at its best, and he will certainly come in handy.
"Our final member is one who does not need introduction." The crowd paused, and Joel could hear whispers of "Harry Potter" in the crowd. No one would ever want to put that big headed dolt on something like this.
"Ladies and gentlemen, George Weasley."
George stepped from behind the curtain, waving and smiling. Joel looked back, nodding to his friends.
"We will not be taking any questions. Thank you."
* * *
"Welcome to the Vinicci family," Vinny said as the four appeared in a dimly lit mansion hallway. "My father is the Godfather of the family." The four made their way into a large kitchen, where a Creole maid was preparing dinner.
"Hello, Clarice," Vinny said, coming up behind the woman and kissing her on both cheeks. "I can't wait to eat."
"Get away from me, Vinny. You're gonna get to eat when everyone else does!" Clarice went back to stirring something in her pot. "Turkey sausage gumbo."
"Good," Vinny said. The Creole woman looked up from her pot.
"Who're your friends?"
"Say hello the new friends of the family: Nathan Talon, Max Brown, and Joe Young."
"Hello, men. Are they staying with us, Vinny?"
Vinny nodded. "Yes. I think we can trust 'em."
"Well, make yourself at home, boys."
* * *
"Nathan, can I see you alone?" Joe asked as the three dropped off their duffel bags on their beds. "I need to talk to you about your connections..."
"Sure."
Nathan and Joe stepped to the side of the room, huddled in the corner.
"How do you know these people?" Joe asked. "Does Max know 'em?"
"My dad was their informant at the Ministry in London," Nathan replied. "But I was always clean. I told them I didn't want to do anything bad, and they told me that if I ever needed help to find them. So here we are."
"What about Max?"
"His dad was an American...killed by a rival family two days before Max's birth. He was also an informant to the Viniccis."
"Oh," Joe said. "Are we safe here?"
"Just don't betray the family and do what they tell you to do. That's all you have to do."
"What if they ask me to do anything illegal?"
"I already told you, Joe. Do what they tell you to do."
* * *
Joel, George, and Colin sat in Duke Dingo's office, their bags spread over the floor. Duke had volunteered–for no reason at all–for the group to sort their bags in his office.
"I've got everything," Colin announced.
"Me, too," George said.
"Me three."
"Well, I guess you guys can go now," the Minister of Magic said. "Good luck. Not that you'll need it."
"Duke, we're gonna be looking around New York City first," Joel said. "Odds are the three went underground, and we'll be checking underground connections in a bunch of cities."
"Are you going to get any help?" Duke asked.
"Yeah, we'll use some Americans to help us," Joel replied. He looked around the room, grabbing his bags. "Well...I think we're ready to leave now."
"Yeah," Duke said. "Goodbye."
"Goodbye, Minister Dingo," Colin said, shaking the Minister's hand.
"Ta-ta, darling," George joked. Duke laughed. "See ya around, Dukie boy."
"Don't forget to owl us," Joel said, his body beginning to vanish slowly into thin air and his voice fading as well.
The three disappeared within two seconds.
"Goodbye."
And Duke Dingo suddenly felt a bit lonely.
* * *
Nathan, Max, Joe, and Vinny stepped into a smoke-filled room, full of poker players.
"Royal flush, you losers! Who's the man? Who's the man?" yelled a man, jumping from his seat and dancing like a lunatic.
"I am the man," said a low voice in a wheelchair.
"Yes, you are, Godfather."
"Give me that money."
"Yes, Sir."
The young man handed the Godfather his winnings. "Cheater," Joe whispered.
"No one disobeys the Godfather," Vinny said.
"What?" the Godfather asked.
"Hello, Mister Godfather Sir," Max said. "I'm Max Brown; my friend Nathan brought us here."
The Godfather wheeled to the foursome. "Oww..." Joe whispered. "That's my foot...ouch..."
"Can we trust you three?" the Godfather asked.
"Don't you want to know our names?" Max asked. Joe's foot was in his head; the Louisianan was hopping around the room, trying to overcome the pain.
"No," the Godfather replied.
The Godfather lifted himself up from out of his wheelchair. "I'm too lazy to really walk around," the Godfather explained. "But sitting down a lot certainly makes your butt tough."
"They're gonna be tested tomorrow," Vinny said. The Godfather nodded.
"Don't disappoint me, guys." He pointed at Nathan. "Especially you."
* * *
"We're being tested?!" Nathan yelled to Vinny as the two of them walked through the mansion. "There is no way I'm doing anything tomorrow!"
"Look, Nathan. We're not worried about you disappointing us, okay? You'll pull through. So will Max. The only guy we're worried about is this Joe character."
"Why?"
"He just doesn't seem like the type."
"Oh," Nathan said. The two stopped in the kitchen, both picking up an apple. "Will we get wands for this job?"
"Of course," Vinny replied. "We're gonna test them out in a few minutes."
Nathan took a bite out of his apple. "So just what will we be doing?"
* * *
"Welcome to Magical Life Insurance," Vinny said as the four apparated on a New Orleans street. "This is where you'll be tested."
"Okay..." Joe said, shielding his face from the sun. His black cloak made him look more important than he ever figured he'd look.
"This is the front we use to collect money," Vinny explained. "However, one of our employees has betrayed the family. You see, we had a deal with a restaurant...we get fifteen percent of the profits...but this idiot inside managed to find out and told the other big family in New Orleans."
"The Guzzetas?" Nathan asked.
"Right you are." Vinny paused for a moment, adjusting his cloak collar. "I want this guy dead."
"Right..." Joe said. "That's slightly illegal."
"I know," Vinny said.
"Betraying the family is not right either," Nathan pointed out. Vinny nodded.
"He's got a point," Max said.
"And if you can't kill him," Vinny said, "don't worry. I'd prefer you guys just like crush his legs or something."
"Yeah, paralyze him. That's not as bad as death," Joe said sarcastically. What have I gotten myself into?
* * *
"I'd like to be some life insurance," Nathan said, entering the door. Max and Joe followed.
"These are my friends," Nathan said, pointing at the duo behind him. "They'll just sit and wait."
"Do you have an appointment?" asked the small man behind a desk. "You can't buy insurance without an appointment."
Nathan pulled out his wand. "You're gonna be the one needing life insurance in a moment if you don't give me my appointment."
"Alrighty then..." The man stared down at a book and then glanced up.
"Follow me."
* * *
Nathan followed the man into the backroom. The little man sat behind another desk.
"So what do you really want?" the man asked. Nathan leaned up in his chair.
"Life insurance."
"No one demands life insurance like you just did, Sir," the man replied.
The little man got up from the leather chair and slid across the desk, grabbing Nathan's neck. Nathan grabbed the man's hands, but it was no use. The man head butted Nathan, sending Nathan into a moment of shock.
It was just enough time for the little man to grab Nathan's wand, snap it, and tie up and gag Nathan.
* * *
"You know," Joe said, "I dunno if this is such a good idea."
"What do you mean, Joe?" Max asked. "Nathan's beating him up. Can't you hear it?"
"He certainly got a lot tougher around the Mafia," Joe said. Max nodded.
"He's just trying to live up to his father."
"Penny Lane, there is a barber–"
"Not right now," Max said. "Please."
The door to the backroom opened, and out came a little man.
* * *
"That looks a bit too much like an Oompa Loompa," Joe said, studying the little man.
"I'm gonna give you a puzzle!" yelled the little man, pulling out his wand. "I know why you're here. But I've got more money than you can dream of waiting for me. And a few Vinicci family thugs aren't going to get in my way!"
"Feisty little guy," Max said. The little man muttered a few words, and Joe and Max discovered they couldn't move.
"Oww!" Joe yelled as the small man kicked him in the shin. "Look, midget–" Joe was kicked again, this time in a place vital to reproduction.
"Joe, it looks like your swinging single self will not be having any children," Max commented as the little man punched Max's pot belly. "Don't touch my blubber."
* * *
Well, he can't tie knots that well, Nathan thought as he stepped out of the chair. Or maybe I was just a good Boy Scout.
Nathan quietly slipped out of the backroom door.
* * *
"Hey!" yelled the little man, turning to look at Nathan. "You're not supposed to be out!"
"You're supposed to know how to tie your knots."
"Oh, shut up!" yelled the little man. He pointed his wand toward Nathan. "You ruined my plans! God! Nothing ever goes right!"
* * *
Vinny Vinicci stood outside, waiting for Nathan, Joe, and Max to appear.
He'd been waiting for a while. "Something's up," he said to himself.
* * *
The little short man had the three fugitives arranged all in a pretty little row, and he seemed to be torturing them.
"I'd appreciate it if we weren't always kicked in our vital areas," Max said. "Because it really hurts, and I do want to have kids one day."
"Well, so do I; but I don't even have those anymore."
"You don't have to take out your anger on us," Joe said.
God, I screwed up, Nathan thought. God, that didn't sound right. Nathan then looked outside, and he could see Vinny nearing the door.
"Frederick," Vinny said, opening the door, "you're going down." Frederick–the little man–turned around and cursed.
"Everything always has to go wrong," he said. "At least let me like cause a hostage situation or something, Vinny. If I'm gonna betray the family, I'm not going down like this."
"You're so insecure," Vinny said, pointing his wand in Vinny's direction. He then turned, pointing his wand at the three would-be hitmen. He released them from the magical bonds.
"Stand aside," Vinny said. His eyes narrowed, concentrating on Frederick.
"Avada kedavra."
Author's Note: You like? You seriously like it? It's really back on track with the plot here...and I promise you'll see more of the Mafia in the Chapter 6. I promise! And Duke will start his search...while Colin, Joel, and George search for the fugitives. I know I let them sorta hang...but they'll be back. I promise. (Or they could all get run over by mad taxi drivers...HA! Not!)
Well, hope you enjoyed...please review!