Scene:
Pretty Fly (for that
Snape Guy)
(to the tune of 'Pretty Fly
for a White Guy' by The Offspring)
Scene: The Potions Dungeon. Snape is
sitting behind his desk, whilst the Griffindor fourth-years cower
behind their cauldrons. Snape stands up.
Snape: I have to go to the
staff room - sit quietly and read up on poison antedotes until I
get back. You may find yourself in need of one any day now...
(Exit Snape, casting a menacing glance at
Harry over his shoulder as he leaves. The Fat Lady and the Pale
Witch appear suddenly in one of the wall posters, giggling. The
Fat Lady is clutching an empty box of chocolate liquers, and
hiccupping.)
Intro
Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!
Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!
Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!
Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!
Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!
Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!
(Nearly Headless Nick drifts in through the
blackboard)
Nick: And all the ghoulies say
he's pretty fly
Fat Lady and Pale Witch: For
that Snape guy.
(Neville accidently drops his wand into his
cauldron. A loud guitar riff begins to boom out from it. Harry
jumps up onto his desk)
Verse 1
Harry: You know it's kinda
hard
To get Potions right today
This subject isn't cool
But he'll teach it anyway.
Seamus: He may not have a clue
And he may not have style
Hermione: But no one in the
whole wide world
Has ever seen him smile!
Chorus
All: So don't debate
With Professor Snape
Cos you know he really doesn't get it anyway
He'll make Potions hell
Until we hear that bell
And then we'll run away, run away
Harry: Whenever we see Snape
Our hearts are filled with hate
Ron: And all we really wanna
do is
Push him in the lake
Hermione: The world needs
Potions teachers
Come on and do the Potions thing!
Bridge
Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!
Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!
Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!
Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!
Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!
Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!
Nick: Uno dos tres, cuatro
cinco cinco seis!
Verse 2
Parvati: He needs to cut his
hair
But a quick trim would suffice
Lavendar: He even made me cry
once
Cos he's just not very nice
Dean: He makes us work too
hard
And we all wish he'd retire
Neville: Can someone please
help me?
Cos I think my hat's on fire!
Chorus
(as before)
Verse 3
Harry: Now he wants to teach
Dark Arts
Cos he thinks it could be fun.
Hermione: He applied at
thirteen
But now he's thirty one!
Ron: Some say he's not so bad
And he's just a moody git,
But if you ask me
Snape's a little piece of -
Hermione: Ron!
Chorus
All: So don't debate
With Professor Snape
Cos you know he really doesn't get it anyway
He'll make Potions hell
Until we hear that bell
And then we'll run away, run away
Harry: And those who don't
hate him
Belong in Slytherin.
Ron: Cos the rest of us just
wanna
Kick him in the shins.
Hermione: The world needs
Potions teachers
Hey, hey, do the Potions thing!
THE END!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* *
A/N: Ah come on, I know you loved
it really...look out for the sequel: 'The Animagi Aren't Alright!'
