Rating: PG-13
Category: T/K, M/L, CC
Spoilers: "Viva Las Vegas"
Disclaimer: I in no way own Roswell.
But I'm
interested in buying the woozle…
Sometimes, things in life make absolutely
no sense.
They blind side you, leaving you helpless.
Other
times things seem way too similar to things
in the
past.
I didn't want to go to Vegas. But Maria
with her
bubbliness and well, Maria-ness, talked
me into it.
Off I went to the land of themed casinos,
showgirls,
and wedding chapels. And I really,
really, really,
don't want to think about the wedding chapels.
I saw
an advertisement for the Elvis chapel, and
I
practically broke down in front of everyone.
But
wedding chapels- I guess you could say that's
what
made this trip interesting……or a nightmare.
The first mistake came when Michael gave
us fake id's.
As if a bunch of seventeen and eighteen
year olds
aren't going to go and do what they shouldn't.
Especially knowing my ex-boyfriend, who-
I can tell
you from experience- loved getting drunk.
I held his
head one too many times over the porcelain
throne.
But surprisingly, Kyle wasn't the instigator
of the
alcoholic madness this time. He was
part of the
consequence.
The blame lay directly on the shoulders of
the pixie
queen herself, Maria. Not that I don't
love her, but
her crazy sense of adventure has gotten
me into
trouble more than a few times in the past.
The only
time I had detention in middle school was
due to her
brilliant plan to get Spice Girls tickets.
We were
going to skip class and hitchhike to Albuquerque
to
get front row tickets. We didn't make
it out of the
building, and my parent's didn't take kindly
to my
detention.
Maria bought herself a margarita. Now
hey, I
understand why she did and all- who wouldn't
want to
break the rules and get away with it?
But it's what she did with the drink that
caused the
madness.
She let Tess have a sip.
And all hell broke loose.
***
"Liz?" Tess walked towards me with
a goofy look on
her face. "You're pretty. Pretty
pretty pretty."
I didn't know what to say. Now Tess
and I have
reached the point of acting civil to each
other, and
we can even work together to save our friends,
but
there is no love lost between us.
We tolerate each
other- me because I know that for some twisted
reason,
the world needs her to keep on turning,
and her
because she's managed to weasel her way
into my circle
of friends. She likes it here, and
I don't see her
leaving.
"Ok…" I stated, noticing her eyes look
a little
weird.
"I mean, you're pretty. You have dark
hair, and
you're smart, and everybody loves you.
Everybody
loves you. Max loves you. Heck, you're
the sweetheart
of Roswell. Perfect, perfect, perfect
in every, every
way."
I have definitely left Las Vegas and tripped
into the
Twilight Zone.
"And you know what?" She says, plopping
down
ungracefully on the chair beside me.
"I think Kyle
loves you too. He dated you and all,
and in his
diary, if you read it, it's all like 'I
Love Liz' and
I thought it was funny that he even kept
a diary, but
he keeps spiritual books next to naughty,
naughty,
magazines!" She chirps. Then
Tess starts to laugh
hysterically.
I have surely been given too much information.
"Tess are you, well, ok?"
"I've never been better, you know?
It's like a little
bit of a party in one bang…"
"What happened to you?"
She giggled. "I'm drunk!"
Oh great.
Last year, Max was the inebriated alien.
This year,
it's my job to make sure Tess doesn't do
anything too
foolish in her drunken stupor. But
maybe it would
serve her right if she did…
"Where did you get the drink, Tess?"
"I tried some of Maria's. To see if
I wanted to buy
one of my own."
Maria must have forgotten the key rule when
dealing
with our favorite Czechs. Alcohol
is a no no.
Tess is drunk, very drunk, off of one sip.
"Come on, Tess" I exclaimed, grabbing
her arm.
"Where are we going? Are we gonna see
the Wizard of
Oz?"
I sigh. I needed help. Fast.
"Whatever you want, Goldilocks."
****
I lost Tess as we were going through the
Casino. Not
a good idea, I know, but you try keeping
up with a
drunk alien. And yes, she was more
annoying drunk
than sober.
I felt terrible. Spazzy. I don't
like to stress, to
spazz out. I usually leave it to Maria,
because she
has the magical cedar oil.
But I had just lost a drunk alien.
A drunk female alien who would lose any amount
of
inhibition. A drunk female alien who
would do or say
anything and not remember it the next day.
"Shii.."
I was interrupted by Alex running up to me
in a panic.
"I lost Kyle."
"You did what?" I squeaked.
"I lost Kyle." He repeated.
"How could you lose Kyle? He's a 160
pounds of
Greco-Roman wrestler for crying out loud.
They don't
just disappear!"
"It gets worse."
"How?" I sighed.
"He was drunk."
"I thought he gave all that up. Did
he fall off the
Buddha wagon?"
"I spiked his drink…he always used to be
so much fun
to watch when he was drunk, back when you
were going
out…"
"ALEXANDER CHARLES WHITMAN!" I shriek,
not caring
that the entire casino is looking at me.
"Do you have
any idea what you've done? Kyle didn't
just give up
alcohol because of the Buddhism, he gave
it up because
he can't handle it anymore."
"He went soft?"
"No, the healing, remember?"
"So people that get healed have the alcohol
thing
too?"
"Sometime later, you can ask Maria about
New Years
last year, ok? So where did you lose
him?"
"I was walking him back to the room."
"This is just great!" I sighed.
"We've got one drunk
Buddhist jock, one drunk alien,"
"One Maria that just auditioned to be a stripper."
"What?"
"She didn't read the ad." He muttered.
"Ok, one drunk Buddhist jock, one drunk alien,
and one
pixie girl who auditioned to be a stripper…and
Max and
Dr. Love are off doing the male bonding
thing…and
Isabel is MIA. Things are just wonderful."
"I'm glad you can be optimistic at a time
like this."
I shook my head.
"Bite my ass, Krispy Kreme."
"Touchy" he said, in a low annoyed
voice, but he
followed my lead.
****
I found Maria at a table with another margarita.
My
best friend was wasting away in Margaritaville.
She
was laughing, actually.
"Liz, I auditioned to be a stripper.
Poor little
innocent me. Me. And guess what?
Spaceboy and Mr.
Perfect are in jail."
"Is everyone freaking drunk?" I scream.
"Or just
completely crazy? Is it so bad to
just want to get
the hell out of Roswell and enjoy ourselves
for a
change? Maybe it's because none of
us can take care
of ourselves worth a hoot. For crying
out loud. Am I
the only responsible person here?"
"I'm responsible" Alex spoke up.
"No, you're just an idiot."
"I'm not drunk." Maria protested. "I'm
just upset and
a teeny tiny tad bit tipsy. That's
all."
"Well, Miss Tipsy, we have a crisis situation
on our
hands."
"We do?"
"Kyle is drunk, and missing."
She laughed. "Like that's never happened
before?"
"He only had a tiny bit…because of the healing,
he
can't tolerate much- or any…"
"He's doing a psycho Max blind date thing?"
She
chortled. "This….this is priceless.
Priceless, Liz.
I mean, I thought he couldn't handle his
booze
before…but now….wait till the jocks hear
about this.."
"Maria" I took a deep breath. "It gets
worse. Tess
is drunk and gone as well."
She looked at me incredulously. "So
you're saying
that we have two, underage, drunk, teenagers
from
Roswell, one of those who happens to be
an alien,
running loose in Vegas."
"Yup. Plus two aliens in jail."
"I should give up the singing thing and become
a
reporter."
I took my wad of money out of my wallet.
"Go bail out
the boys. Alex and I will continue
to look for the
prodigal two."
"Good luck. Man, is spaceboy gonna
pay…." Maria
continued her babble on her journey to get
a cab.
****
Two hours later, we still haven't found
hide nor hair
of Kyle or Tess. Alex and I were exhausted,
and
thirsty. We headed back to the room,
to get something
to drink and to use the toilet.
Max was heading out the door with his bag
as we walked
in.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"I'm catching a cab to the airport."
"What happened?"
"Michael."
I put my hand on his arm. "I'm sure
you can work it
out."
"I doubt it, Liz. Too much stuff was
said."
"You know, Maria thinks that Michael's brain
and his
mouth are in no way connected to one another.."
"Liz, there are some things that you can't
fix."
He walked out the door.
And once again, my stomach drops to the bottom
of my
feet.
I had to make Max fall out of love with me.
But I
didn't fall out of love with him.
***
Maria and I got dressed in the new outfits
she'd
picked out for that night. I had a
really pretty,
red, strappy dress- but my heart just wasn't
in it
anymore. Max was gone, Tess and Kyle
were missing,
Isabel was missing, Michael was grumpy,
as usual, Alex
was whining about losing all his money,
and Maria was
complaining about Michael, as usual.
I just wanted to be a child again, to go
and goof off
without my friends without any major crisis
or enemy
aliens.
The bright point of the dinner was when Michael
did
something romantic. Yes Michael.
I was shocked. He
did give Maria generic shampoo for a gift-
I assumed
he was even more clueless than Kyle in the
"What A
Girl Wants" Category.
I sat there with Alex, beaming up at my best
friend,
singing her heart out in a Las Vegas restraunt.
And then I felt a hand on my shoulder.
Max. I knew his touch- I'll always
know his touch.
Always.
He was slightly out of breath. "Liz,
we've got
trouble?"
"What?"
"I….I….I…..saw a bride and groom coming out
of the
taxi and into the hotel as I was leaving…."
"And?"
"The newlyweds were Tess and Kyle."
"Oy Vey."
"What do we do? How could this happen?"
"Think about it, Max." Alex spoke up.
"They are two
teenagers- who obviously have some sexual
tension- I
mean, if you would even notice the way they
look at
each other, and they do live in the same
house…Plus
they had a whole heck of a lot of money,
and ID's that
made them of legal age…"
"We've got to go find them…it's not legal,
not
really…"
"What?" Maria said, coming back to
the stage glowing.
"Girlfriend, I thought you left."
"We think Tess and Kyle got married."
"This has got to be like some sort of screwed
up
"Friends" episode." Maria responded.
Michael who had been standing behind Maria
started to
laugh. "Now that's what I call
living it up in
Vegas!"
***
"You go in."
"No, you."
"Max!"
"Oh come on, you've seen Kyle naked…you can
handle
this…"
"You had fantasies about Tess."
"I couldn't control those, thank you very
much, and
they weren't real. Not like you and
Kyle.."
"I didn't, Max."
"Didn't what?"
"I didn't sleep with Kyle."
"What?" he shrieked. "Then what
in the…."
The whole story comes pouring out.
The fortune
teller, Future Max, the wedding in Vegas,
and our
wedding dance.
For a moment, he just stands still, looking
deep into
my eyes. And then he puts his arms
around me in a
huge hug.
"I'll go in." He said, and used his
powers to open
the lock.
He started to laugh.
"Liz, you've got to see this…"
Tess and Kyle are indeed married- they had
the dress,
the tuxedo, and even the rings. On
the dresser is a
marriage certificate for Mr. And Mrs. Wallbanger.
They were both still fully dressed, with
their clothes
only slightly rumpled. Tess is curled
up in Kyle's
arms, asleep. Her head is on his chest.
And on
further inspection, I notice that Kyle's
face and neck
is covered with Tess' bright red lipstick.
"I guess they had a good time." Max
comments.
"Except for the whole, falling asleep on
your wedding
night thing."
***
After we woke up the new couple, and after
everyone
had a good laugh at their expense, we made
our way
back to our suite.
Where the Sheriff was waiting for us.
He was not thrilled at all to see that his
son and
foster kid had gotten married. At
17- in Vegas.
We all got a lecture about how it was acceptable
to
skip class to save the world, but not to
recklessly
gamble. Or to get married.
And something happened today that reminded
me all of
our Vegas escapade.
It probably has to do with the fact that
we're all
back in Vegas. And this time, the
Sheriff came with
us, along with Amy and their twins.
Kyle and Tess got married today. Again.
Getting drunk can be a good thing.
You let your guard
down and reveal things- things you wouldn't
usually
share.
When we got back to Roswell, the Sheriff
pulled a few
strings and got the marriage officially
annulled. Not
that it was ever really, really, legal,
because they
were underage and all, but all the same,
all bases
were covered. But the whole marriage
resulted in Kyle
and Tess starting a relationship.
Now that they're
both 21, they went and tied the knot.
They wore the
same suit and dress as the first time, and
had the
ceremony in the Elvis Chapel.
I guess Tess really
was born to be a bride.
The Elvis Chapel has been somewhat of tradition
for
us, I guess. In an amazing parallel
to that first
fateful trip, we had a surprise marriage
this time as
well. Michael snuck some Champagne
into the
reception, and Isabel got, well…a little
frisky. We
didn't notice when she disappeared with
Alex, but we
did notice the silly grins and rings that
they both
wore. Michael immediately waggled
his eyes and asked
Maria if she wanted to tie the knot, but
she assured
him that there was no way he was going to
get out of
the church wedding planned for next month.
Max and I? Let's just say that the
Elvis Chapel does
have special significance to me. Not
only have two of
my closest friends tied the knot here, I
have- in two
different universes. And I got my
wedding dance
afterwards as well. It seems that
no matter what
destiny decreed, Max and I are meant to
be together.
No matter what the odds.
