Getting into the train was easy. They had the car to themselves, which was pretty lucky. Zack explained to her that with it being fall, most transients were heading south, not north. She didn't mind being the only ones in the car at all. She had landed hard when she'd flipped herself into the train, and she was hurting again. Sleep, she thought. Yeah, right, like that would happen.
They settled in, the darkness rather comfortable to two people with extraordinary night vision. There was a window opening in the car that let in plenty of light from the full moon. Alicia liked the dark anyways. It was easier to relax at least.
She let her hair down out of the rubber band that had been pulling it back. Sweat made some of the tendrils curl around her face. She flipped her hair over and scratched her scalp lightly. Ahhhh, much better. She wanted to try having long hair, but anything over shoulder length was too much of a bother on missions. She looked up and saw Zack staring at her. He was sitting on the other side of the car with his knees drawn up. She was wearing a military style flight jacket over a tight long sleeve shirt. She pulled off the jacket, and her shirt, amused at Zack's shocked look until he saw the tank top she had on under it.
Digging in her bag, she found the antiseptic cream she knew she'd thrown in there. She had learned there were certain essentials that you never left home without. They could all be packed into a small gym bag, but they should never be out of arms length. She put some of the cream on a few cuts. Her shoulder was scraped, but she couldn't reach that.
She walked over to Zack, and knelt in front of him. He jerked back a little, his eyes suspicious.
"What?"
"I don't think you want any of those cuts to get infected," she replied holding out the cream. "Plus, I need you to do my shoulder."
"I'm resistant to infection."
"Resistant doesn't mean immune." She ignored his protest, and gently put some on the cut on his forehead. He didn't try to stop her. Another chip, she thought. Maybe by the time we get to Seattle, he might stop looking at me like I'm a serial killer or something.
He let her take care of the cuts on his face. They weren't too bad, and she was sure they would heal without scarring.
"Do you like being 608, or do you prefer Alicia?" he asked suddenly. He remembered her name after all these years. Zack was certainly full of surprises.
"On missions, it's 608, but I think it would be OK to be Alicia this time." He seemed to relax a little. What had happened to make him so terrified of anything Manticore, even being referred to by one's designation?
"Why did you run away?" She hadn't meant to ask, it just suddenly came out.
He seemed shocked that she would even ask. "You were there Alicia. It was a nightmare, and we had to run." She could feel the venom in his voice.
"That's not what I meant," she said softly. She knew she couldn't dissuade him from his opinion that Manticore was evil. "Why that night? Was it planned, or did it just happen?"
She really didn't know. Zack wondered if Lydecker had kept them all ignorant of the X-5's this entire time. Maybe they were treated differently. She certainly wasn't a mindless drone like the guards that he remembered.
"One of the others had been having seizures a few days before, and was taken away," he began, wanting her to understand the horror that was Manticore. "Max followed them, and saw them dissect her." His voice broke for a moment, but he continued. "Then Max started having seizures, and we couldn't hide her in time. The guards saw her and were going to take her away too. She had stopped by that time, but they were going to kill her anyways."
"I wasn't going to let that happen again." There was real pain in his voice, and she understood it entirely. He was their undisputed leader as a child. They thought he should save them, but they had lacked perspective. The loss of one at that stage had benefited the group. Still, she knew what it was like to lose someone close, and it hurt no matter what the reasoning.
"So, I took down a guard, and Eva grabbed his gun, and…" he broke off for a moment. In the dark his face seemed so childlike as he relived the old nightmare. He looked Alicia dead in the eyes. "Lydecker showed up and ordered her to drop the gun. She told him Max wasn't going. He killed her. Shot her right there in front of us all. They put us back into the block, and I led our group out. We went through the windows and some of us made it out." He lowered his head. "Do you know what happened to the ones that didn't?" She was the first person he could ask about the others.
She took his hand. "I'm so sorry, Zack," she whispered. "Nobody knew what the tasers would do. With the cold, and the stunners, that's when they learned about the aging genome. It set it off, and they couldn't stop it." Why was it so hard to say that? It shouldn't affect her at all.
He didn't say anything. She held his hand in the silent dark for what seemed a very long time.
It was Zack that finally broke the silence. "Why didn't you ever run?" he asked, looking back up at her.
"After you guys took off, there were some who wanted to end Manticore, and terminate all of the remaining X-5's and X-6's. I snuck out one night and heard dad pleading our case. He pulled every string he had, and got them to agree to continue the project. He saved our lives that night, and after that no matter how hard it was, I remembered that I owed my life to him."
"Then I got older, and started to associate with norms. I didn't like the outside. Nobody acts with intelligence. Adults treated me like a brainless piece of furniture, and I could plan a war. I had to play dumb and pretend they didn't make stupid mistakes. I hate acting like a norm. Right now all anyone is interested in is the opposite sex, and they act like idiots trying to attract each other."
She shrugged, more to herself than him. "I like my life. I have already done more to change the world than any norm will do in a lifetime. I know I'm not entirely human, but the people closest to me understand me completely."
Silence descended again. She could see him digesting what she had told him. What would his life be like if he'd stayed at Manticore? She wished he had. True, she wouldn't be the leader of them like she was now, but being the leader was a lonely place. Maybe Zack would have moved in with dad instead of Cole. But, what might have been didn't matter. Only the future could be changed.
Zack took the tube of antiseptic cream from her. "Turn around," he ordered gently. "I'll take care of your shoulder."
She turned, and pulled her hair away from her shoulder. It was nice being around a non-sixer, but not having to hide a barcode at all times. He carefully rubbed the cream on the scrape, which was actually a pretty bad one. He leaned forward to make sure he had gotten all of it, and his breath tickled her neck.
He wasn't prepared for her to leap nearly to the roof of the car. She landed on her feet, holding her neck, her eyes wide. She seemed confused, and Zack had no clue what had just happened.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked hesitantly, standing up.
"N...no," she stammered, still holding her neck. "When you breathed it felt…" she broke off looking for the right word. "It just felt funny," she finished a little lamely.
She was completely caught off guard by the smile that lit his features. It was the first time she'd seen that phenomenon, and holy God, he was gorgeous when he smiled. First that weird feeling and now a smile, she was contemplating jumping out a window.
"You've never been tickled before?" he asked, still smiling.
Tickled? She knew what it was, but nobody had ever done it to her before. So that's what it felt like. She didn't want to answer him. Her silence was answer enough.
He sat back down, still grinning. What else had she not done in her life? It was a totally whimsical thought, and had nothing to do with saving Max, or any of the others. He shouldn't be thinking about it, but the look on Alicia's face was absolutely priceless.
Her sense of humor returned somewhat. "You've never kicked the crap out of a Delta Force team before?" she asked in the same tone he was using. She sat, cross-legged, wondering what he was going to say next.
"Ever eaten ice cream in a park?" Well, well, he did want to play.
"Ever pulled a prank on the President?"
"Ever played with a kitten?"
"Ever gone dancing?"
He didn't reply to her last question. Never danced? Impossible. He'd been on the outside for years, and had never gone dancing? That was the one norm activity that she loved. On impulse she jumped up. Following impulses? What was the matter with her?
"Stand up," she said holding out her hand.
"Why?" he asked, but he took her hand and stood.
She took a deep breath. "I don't see Delta Force, the president, ice cream in a park or a kitten around here and if you tickle me again I'm likely to plant my foot where the sun doesn't shine." She smiled up at him. "But it's criminal that someone with so much inborn grace has never danced."
He started to pull away, but she held his hand firmly. "You have to pretend to hear music since we don't have any," she said.
She took his right hand and put it on her waist, and took his left hand in her right one, her other hand resting lightly on his shoulder. "Fast dancing is a lot like hand-to-hand combat except you try not to hurt your partner," she said. "Slow dancing takes a bit more finesse."
She showed him a simple box step. He caught on to it but didn't quite have the rhythm. He stepped on her toes twice and had apologized.
The third time he stepped on her, he had tried to pull back, telling her that he didn't want to hurt her. Her eyebrows rose. "Zack," she said amused, "In the last twelve hours I've been thrown around, kicked, punched, electrocuted, and had three ribs cracked. Do you really think having my toes stepped on hurts?" He smiled, and tried again, but still had a hard time catching the rhythm.
She started to hum a melody from an old song that she liked softly. It was easier with music. He started catching on, and the steps became a little more complex. She showed him a few turns, a twirl, and then they were moving easily around the car together.
"What song is that?" he whispered. Somehow speaking loudly seemed very wrong at that moment.
She began singing the words from where she was in the song. Her voice was clear and sweet, and very startling to hear from a genetically engineered solider.
"And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me
Chances are I'll see you somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer I have
You're the only one I can't forget
"Baby, you're the best I've ever met"
As the last note died, she realized that his arm had slid around her, pulling her closer. She put her head on his shoulder for just a minute, enjoying the feeling. Why didn't dancing with Lee feel like this? The answer was blatantly obvious. She wasn't presenting herself as a pack of lies to Zack. Honesty. No lies were needed, no deceptions. He was as much a part of it as she was. There wasn't anything to lie about.
She stepped back quickly, needing to get away. Suck it up solider, she told herself firmly. "So, ever been dancing?" she said, trying to lighten the moment, her voice seemingly too loud. She wondered if he could sense her discomfort. So what if he was better looking then most, they were on a mission. He didn't say anything, just kept looking at her thoughtfully.
"I think I should sleep now," she said, going to where she left her bag.
"You need to sleep?" She wasn't sure if he sounded disgusted or amused.
"Pardon me for not having the perfect X-5 body," she retorted, digging through her bag. Ah, there it is. Why did everything she immediately goes to the bottom when she looked for it? She pulled the towel out, and rolled it into a pillow. He looked at her strangely when she brought out the faded green towel.
"I seem to require sleep more than you guys, plus I need to regenerate to take care of these ribs," she continued, ignoring his weird look.
"What are you carrying a towel around for?" That was obviously something he was supposed to learn after age ten, because he didn't remember Lydecker talking about a towel.
She looked at her towel thoughtfully. It had been through so much and still smelled good. "It's a tough world," she replied. "I depend on myself, and my towel."
"Your towel?"
She rolled her eyes. "You show me one piece of equipment more versatile than this, and I'll give it up in a second." She could be mistaken, but she thought she heard him laugh. Oh well, the other sixers had laughed too until they realized she was right.
She lay down, wincing a little. Zack noticed.
"You really hurt?"
She shrugged. "Nothing broken," she replied. "A couple of hours of sleep and I'll be as good as new." She lay down, well aware that he was still watching her. He had sat back down, leaning against the wall.
"Regenerate?" he asked suddenly. "You regenerate?"
She didn't bother to open her eyes when she replied, "The Powers That Be decided to add a little lizard into the lives of the sixers. We can't grow back a limb, much to their dismay, but we heal very quickly. Healing is faster when you sleep. At least for me." She paused and added, "The surveillance tapes are in my bag. You can listen to them if you want." There was silence for a few minutes.
"Zack?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you believe that you have a soul?" She wasn't sure why she asked that, but she was comfortable, and relaxed, and he was one of the few people that would respond honestly. It was something she had pondered often.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Some philosophies teach that animals don't. We're part animal. We're cats, and I'm a little lizard. Does that take it all? Just a part, maybe?"
Oddly enough, he did believe he had one. After the escape, as he watched the sunrise for the first time in freedom, he had felt something swell within him. There had been this incredible feeling of joy, and that had sustained him during the hard times. Had he stolen his soul from Manticore when he ran?
"I believe that I have one," he said simply.
"Despite the fact you're not really human?" He didn't respond to that. She opened one eye, and could see the stoniness in his face. "You don't like being reminded of that, do you?"
"You don't?" he snorted.
"We joke about it." She smiled in memory. "One time Lon refused to get into a fight with a norm over a girl. The norm called him a vulgar name that refers to both cats and wimps. We laughed like crazy because he didn't know how right he was. The norm thought we were all nuts."
"Alicia?"
"Hmm?"
"You can't predict the bounce."
"Did you get hit on the head back there?"
She heard him laugh. Definitely a laugh this time. "It's something Max told me once. We're more than the sum of our parts."
"Had Max recently been hit on the head? Who is Max by the way?"
She didn't know who Max was? Then it hit him.
"Designation number 502. Otherwise known as Seattle."
"Oh. What does bouncing have to do with anything?"
"She was playing roulette once. She said that she could predict where it was going except for the bounce."
"Are you sure you weren't hit on the head?"
"We were engineered from the ground up right? Everything they did was designing us to be the perfect solider."
"Now you're starting to make sense."
"So where did you get your singing voice from? That's not something you would need in combat. In another life you'd probably be a professional singer. Just because someone played God doesn't make us less human. The bounce still got to us all."
She didn't answer for a while. He was starting to wonder if she had fallen asleep, when she finally spoke very quietly from the darkness.
"It's nice to think God still cares about us. Maybe we do have souls."