Title: If You're Gone
Author: Stephanie Wheatley, thewheatmeister@hotmail.com
Summary: Harm's reaction to the official engagement. Songfic.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em...
****************************************************************************
I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure
****************************************************************************
2200 EST
Harm's apartment
Harm stared out the window, watching the rain fall outside. He felt like his world was crumbling around him. His best friend, the woman he loved was marrying another man. And not just another man, Mic Brumby. Maybe he had deluded himself into thinking that damn ring would stay on her right hand, then be returned to Brumby. He never even considered the possibility that she would actually move it to her left hand. But she had, and there was nothing he could do about it. Or was there? He knew it would be a risk, telling her how he felt now. But it was either that, or standing by while the woman of his dreams found happiness with another man. Pulling himself out of his reverie, he turned off the lights, grabbed his jacket, and headed out the door.
****************************************************************************
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
****************************************************************************
2200 EST
Mac's apartment
Mac sat on her sofa, hugging a pillow to her chest as she watched the rain fall outside. She should be happy, but somehow, she couldn't bring herself to be. Not since she told Harm about her engagement. The look in his eyes, like he'd just lost his best friend, was almost too much for her to bear. She had rationalized it all to herself, that if he had feelings for her, he would have said something earlier, like on the ferry in Australia. She knew that's what Mic thought, that Harm had blown his chance. But she couldn't shake that look in his eyes. Mic wasn't so happy with her right now. She'd cancelled their dinner plans saying she wanted to be alone. He knew it was because of her conversation with Harm earlier, when she had told him about the engagement. That didn't keep him from being upset, even now that they were engaged, he had told her, she still couldn't stay away from him. That had enraged her, because, as she told her fiancé, Harm was still her best friend. In the end, he had agreed to give her the night to herself. As she reflected back to her phone call with Mic, she wondered yet again whether she was doing the right thing. But she had made her decision. And she knew she had to live with it.
****************************************************************************
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
****************************************************************************
2230 EST
Mac's apartment
The silence in Mac's apartment was broken by a knock on her door. She opened the door to find Harm standing there, water dripping from his hair and clothes. "Harm, come in. Let me get you some towels to dry off with."
"You don't have to, Mac. This won't take long." He closed the door behind himself, and waited until he was sure he had her undivided attention. "I've been thinking all day about your engagement. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, but until a few minutes ago, I couldn't figure out why."
"So enlighten me, sailor," she said, looking expectantly at him.
"You can't marry Brumby, Mac. You can't. I love you, and I don't want to lose you. I know it's probably too late, but I couldn't just let you do this without letting you know how I feel. I'll understand if this makes you mad, though it's never been my intention to upset you, but I had to let you know. We've been through too much together. You've helped me through so much, and I've helped you through so much. No one will ever know you as well as I do, and no one will ever know me as well as you do. So, do what you have to do, but I just wanted you to know how I feel." And with that, Harm turned around and opened the door.
He almost had the door closed behind him when he heard her call after him, "Why now, Harm? Why did you wait so long?"
He turned and looked earnestly at her. "Because I'm desperate, Sarah," he replied quietly. "And desperate times call for desperate measures." And then the door closed and he was gone.
****************************************************************************
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
****************************************************************************
0145 EST
Harm's Apartment
"I'm coming," Harm called sleepily, as he headed toward his front door where someone was knocking incessantly. "Mac? What are you doing here?"
"I'm desperate," she said, parroting his words from earlier. "And desperate times call for desperate measures. I need to know, Harm. Have you really let go? Will you always only get this way with me?"
"Yes, I have, and if you'll let me, Sarah, I'll always only get this way with you."
"I make no promises, Harm," she told him seriously. "This is an added complication, and I already had a lot on my mind. What I need right now is time. Time to sort out my feelings for you and for Mic. So I need both of you to give me some space. Can you do that for me? Please, Harm."
"I can. Take all the time you need. Whatever you decide, I'll still be here. Just like I have been for the past five years."
"Thank you," she said, giving him a big hug. "I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow."
"Yeah," he said as she walked out the door. "Sleep well, jarhead."
"You too, squid," she called as she walked down the hall.
****************************************************************************
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
Author: Stephanie Wheatley, thewheatmeister@hotmail.com
Summary: Harm's reaction to the official engagement. Songfic.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em...
****************************************************************************
I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure
****************************************************************************
2200 EST
Harm's apartment
Harm stared out the window, watching the rain fall outside. He felt like his world was crumbling around him. His best friend, the woman he loved was marrying another man. And not just another man, Mic Brumby. Maybe he had deluded himself into thinking that damn ring would stay on her right hand, then be returned to Brumby. He never even considered the possibility that she would actually move it to her left hand. But she had, and there was nothing he could do about it. Or was there? He knew it would be a risk, telling her how he felt now. But it was either that, or standing by while the woman of his dreams found happiness with another man. Pulling himself out of his reverie, he turned off the lights, grabbed his jacket, and headed out the door.
****************************************************************************
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
****************************************************************************
2200 EST
Mac's apartment
Mac sat on her sofa, hugging a pillow to her chest as she watched the rain fall outside. She should be happy, but somehow, she couldn't bring herself to be. Not since she told Harm about her engagement. The look in his eyes, like he'd just lost his best friend, was almost too much for her to bear. She had rationalized it all to herself, that if he had feelings for her, he would have said something earlier, like on the ferry in Australia. She knew that's what Mic thought, that Harm had blown his chance. But she couldn't shake that look in his eyes. Mic wasn't so happy with her right now. She'd cancelled their dinner plans saying she wanted to be alone. He knew it was because of her conversation with Harm earlier, when she had told him about the engagement. That didn't keep him from being upset, even now that they were engaged, he had told her, she still couldn't stay away from him. That had enraged her, because, as she told her fiancé, Harm was still her best friend. In the end, he had agreed to give her the night to herself. As she reflected back to her phone call with Mic, she wondered yet again whether she was doing the right thing. But she had made her decision. And she knew she had to live with it.
****************************************************************************
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
****************************************************************************
2230 EST
Mac's apartment
The silence in Mac's apartment was broken by a knock on her door. She opened the door to find Harm standing there, water dripping from his hair and clothes. "Harm, come in. Let me get you some towels to dry off with."
"You don't have to, Mac. This won't take long." He closed the door behind himself, and waited until he was sure he had her undivided attention. "I've been thinking all day about your engagement. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, but until a few minutes ago, I couldn't figure out why."
"So enlighten me, sailor," she said, looking expectantly at him.
"You can't marry Brumby, Mac. You can't. I love you, and I don't want to lose you. I know it's probably too late, but I couldn't just let you do this without letting you know how I feel. I'll understand if this makes you mad, though it's never been my intention to upset you, but I had to let you know. We've been through too much together. You've helped me through so much, and I've helped you through so much. No one will ever know you as well as I do, and no one will ever know me as well as you do. So, do what you have to do, but I just wanted you to know how I feel." And with that, Harm turned around and opened the door.
He almost had the door closed behind him when he heard her call after him, "Why now, Harm? Why did you wait so long?"
He turned and looked earnestly at her. "Because I'm desperate, Sarah," he replied quietly. "And desperate times call for desperate measures." And then the door closed and he was gone.
****************************************************************************
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
****************************************************************************
0145 EST
Harm's Apartment
"I'm coming," Harm called sleepily, as he headed toward his front door where someone was knocking incessantly. "Mac? What are you doing here?"
"I'm desperate," she said, parroting his words from earlier. "And desperate times call for desperate measures. I need to know, Harm. Have you really let go? Will you always only get this way with me?"
"Yes, I have, and if you'll let me, Sarah, I'll always only get this way with you."
"I make no promises, Harm," she told him seriously. "This is an added complication, and I already had a lot on my mind. What I need right now is time. Time to sort out my feelings for you and for Mic. So I need both of you to give me some space. Can you do that for me? Please, Harm."
"I can. Take all the time you need. Whatever you decide, I'll still be here. Just like I have been for the past five years."
"Thank you," she said, giving him a big hug. "I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow."
"Yeah," he said as she walked out the door. "Sleep well, jarhead."
"You too, squid," she called as she walked down the hall.
****************************************************************************
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you