Title: If I Am
Author: Stephanie Wheatley, thewheatmeister@hotmail.com
Summary: Sequel to It Was. Songfic.
Disclaimer: Harm and Mac and all the rest aren't mine...
****************************************************************************
So you're standing on a ledge
It looks like you might fall
So far down
Or maybe you were thinking about jumping
Now you could have it all
If you learned a little patience
For though I cannot fly
I'm not content to crawl
So give me a little credit
Have in me a little faith
I want to be with you forever
If tomorrow's not too late
But it's always too late when you've got nothing
So you say
But you should never let the sun set on tomorrow
Before the sun rises today
****************************************************************************
2145 EST
Harm's Apartment
"Hey, Sarah," Harm said, after opening his door to see who his visitor was.
"Um...Do you have a minute, Harm?"
"For you? Always," he said, closing the door behind her.
As Mac sat down on the couch, she said, "I don't think I can do this, Harm."
"Do what?" he asked, sitting beside her.
"Us! I can't do this!"
"Sarah, I don't...Where is this coming from? I don't understand," Harm said as he wracked his brain trying to figure out what could have possibly happened in the month since Mac had admitted she loved him to bring all of this about.
"I can't hurt you, Harm. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did."
"Sarah, you're hurting me now. Please help me understand where you're coming from here."
"Harm, don't you see? In every relationship I've ever been in, I've hurt the person I'm supposed to care the most about. Or they've hurt me. Or both."
And there it was. Harm instantly knew this had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Sarah's past. Taking her in his arms, he said, "I'm not like them, Sarah. I won't hurt you, and I know you won't hurt me. If you think I'm like all of the other men in your life, you're wrong. I have no ulterior motives and no expectations. All I want is to know that you trust me. Can you do that, Sarah? Can you trust me with your heart?"
****************************************************************************
If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down
****************************************************************************
"I don't know, Harm," she sobbed. "What if something happened?"
"Yeah, Marine," he said softly, "What if you found out that there actually are men out there who will go to the ends of the earth to make sure the women they love are happy."
"You mean there is such thing?" Sarah laughed.
"You're looking at one," he whispered sincerely, looking into her eyes. Pulling her closer, Harm whispered, "I'm gonna make it my mission to make sure that you are the happiest woman in the world."
"Oh, you are? Well, you're already doing a pretty good job of it. I'm pretty happy right now. I'm sorry, Harm, I guess my emotions just got the better of me."
"It's okay, ninja girl. I understand. I know what you've been through in the past. You don't need to explain yourself to me. Just promise me that you'll never doubt my love for you."
"Okay," she whispered, pulling him down for a kiss.
They sat there on Harm's couch for a long time, just enjoying the security they felt in each other's arms. After awhile, Sarah fell asleep. Harm didn't have the heart to wake her and send her home, so instead, he opted to wake her briefly to get her to his bedroom where she'd be more comfortable. She sleepily changed into the t-shirt and gym shorts he offered her. After he tucked her in, he quickly changed his clothes and set out to the living room where he planned to sleep on the couch. "Harm?" Mac mumbled.
"Yeah," he said, crossing the room and sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Stay. Please."
Always a sucker for his darling Sarah, Harm obliged. Turning back the covers, he crawled into bed next to her. As she snuggled into his embrace, he whispered, "I'm gonna spend every day of the rest of my life making sure that you know how much I love you, Sarah." Silently, he ran his fingers through her silky hair for awhile, until he too fell asleep.
****************************************************************************
So you're walking on the edge
And you wait your turn to fall
But you're so far gone
That you don't see the hands upheld to catch you
And you could find the fault
In the heart that you've been handed
For though you cannot fly
You're not content to crawl
But it's always too late when you've got nothing
So you say
But you should never let the sun set on tomorrow
Before the sun rises today
****************************************************************************
0945 EST
Harm's Apartment
Harm woke up the next morning and looked at his alarm clock. Upon seeing the time, he was immediately glad it was Saturday as that meant he and his beautiful partner weren't hopelessly late for work. Looking down at the woman sleeping on his chest, he smiled. He still wasn't exactly sure what had caused her outburst the night before, but he knew that she would tell him in time. All he could do was be there for her and let her know she was loved. Tilting his head, he kissed her forehead gently. She stirred slightly. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty," he whispered.
"No," she retorted in her sleep.
Readjusting himself so he had better access to her lips, he kissed her, his tongue playing along the seam of her lips. This brought her to full wakefulness and she opened her mouth to his tongue, allowing him access to the recesses of her mouth. Rolling over on top of her, Harm continued his assault on her senses until a mutual need for air parted them. "Are you awake now?," he asked, as his breath tickled her neck.
"I don't know," she said, looking up at him through half-opened eyes. "Is my wake up call over?"
"No," he said, lowering his head to hers once again in a passionate kiss. When they separated again, he rolled off of her and took her in his arms. "Good morning, I love you."
"Love you too," she murmured contentedly as she laid her head back on his bare chest. Kissing the bare flesh under her face, she said, "Thank you, Harm."
"For what?"
"Being patient with me last night. I was being a baby-"
"No, you weren't," he interrupted. "You were scared, and I understand that. I'm scared, too, Sarah. But I also believe with every fiber of my being that you and I are meant to be together. We're survived five years together so far. I think that's a good sign."
"I guess you're right."
"So, do you wanna get up and do something today, or stay here?" Harm asked.
"Let's stay here. I haven't been lazy in a long time. And who better to be lazy with than the man I love," she said.
"I like the way you think, Sarah."
****************************************************************************
If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down
So you're standing on a ledge
It looks like you might fall
If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down
****************************************************************************
1630 EST
Harm's Apartment
Harm looked up from the vegetables he had been cutting for dinner when he saw Mac walk into the living area from the bedroom. She had just gotten out of the shower and was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a Navy t-shirt of Harm's. "You know, Navy blue is your color, Sarah," he teased.
"Cool it, squid," she said.
"You are so beautiful, Sarah," he said seriously. She blushed and looked down as she usually did when he paid her such a compliment. Quickly washing and drying his hands, he walked over to where she was standing. Wrapping his arms around her from behind, he inquired, "Hasn't anyone ever told you that, Sarah? That you're beautiful."
"Yes, but none of them sounded as sincere as you do when you say it. You make me feel beautiful."
"And I intend to keep doing just that," he replied. Kissing the top of her head, he asked, "Did you ever think you'd see the day when we'd be together like this?"
"No," she admitted. "But that didn't stop me from dreaming about it."
"Me, neither," he said, taking her by the shoulders and turning her around to face him. "I love you, Sarah. More than life itself, and I intend to keep my promise from last night and make you the happiest woman alive."
"I'm going to hold you to that, sailor," Mac replied, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "And I love you, too."
****************************************************************************
The answers we find
Are never what we had in mind
So we make it up as we go along
I won't mention tomorrow
And we won't make those promises that we can't keep
I will never leave you
I will never let you down
I will never leave you
I will never let you down
Author: Stephanie Wheatley, thewheatmeister@hotmail.com
Summary: Sequel to It Was. Songfic.
Disclaimer: Harm and Mac and all the rest aren't mine...
****************************************************************************
So you're standing on a ledge
It looks like you might fall
So far down
Or maybe you were thinking about jumping
Now you could have it all
If you learned a little patience
For though I cannot fly
I'm not content to crawl
So give me a little credit
Have in me a little faith
I want to be with you forever
If tomorrow's not too late
But it's always too late when you've got nothing
So you say
But you should never let the sun set on tomorrow
Before the sun rises today
****************************************************************************
2145 EST
Harm's Apartment
"Hey, Sarah," Harm said, after opening his door to see who his visitor was.
"Um...Do you have a minute, Harm?"
"For you? Always," he said, closing the door behind her.
As Mac sat down on the couch, she said, "I don't think I can do this, Harm."
"Do what?" he asked, sitting beside her.
"Us! I can't do this!"
"Sarah, I don't...Where is this coming from? I don't understand," Harm said as he wracked his brain trying to figure out what could have possibly happened in the month since Mac had admitted she loved him to bring all of this about.
"I can't hurt you, Harm. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did."
"Sarah, you're hurting me now. Please help me understand where you're coming from here."
"Harm, don't you see? In every relationship I've ever been in, I've hurt the person I'm supposed to care the most about. Or they've hurt me. Or both."
And there it was. Harm instantly knew this had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Sarah's past. Taking her in his arms, he said, "I'm not like them, Sarah. I won't hurt you, and I know you won't hurt me. If you think I'm like all of the other men in your life, you're wrong. I have no ulterior motives and no expectations. All I want is to know that you trust me. Can you do that, Sarah? Can you trust me with your heart?"
****************************************************************************
If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down
****************************************************************************
"I don't know, Harm," she sobbed. "What if something happened?"
"Yeah, Marine," he said softly, "What if you found out that there actually are men out there who will go to the ends of the earth to make sure the women they love are happy."
"You mean there is such thing?" Sarah laughed.
"You're looking at one," he whispered sincerely, looking into her eyes. Pulling her closer, Harm whispered, "I'm gonna make it my mission to make sure that you are the happiest woman in the world."
"Oh, you are? Well, you're already doing a pretty good job of it. I'm pretty happy right now. I'm sorry, Harm, I guess my emotions just got the better of me."
"It's okay, ninja girl. I understand. I know what you've been through in the past. You don't need to explain yourself to me. Just promise me that you'll never doubt my love for you."
"Okay," she whispered, pulling him down for a kiss.
They sat there on Harm's couch for a long time, just enjoying the security they felt in each other's arms. After awhile, Sarah fell asleep. Harm didn't have the heart to wake her and send her home, so instead, he opted to wake her briefly to get her to his bedroom where she'd be more comfortable. She sleepily changed into the t-shirt and gym shorts he offered her. After he tucked her in, he quickly changed his clothes and set out to the living room where he planned to sleep on the couch. "Harm?" Mac mumbled.
"Yeah," he said, crossing the room and sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Stay. Please."
Always a sucker for his darling Sarah, Harm obliged. Turning back the covers, he crawled into bed next to her. As she snuggled into his embrace, he whispered, "I'm gonna spend every day of the rest of my life making sure that you know how much I love you, Sarah." Silently, he ran his fingers through her silky hair for awhile, until he too fell asleep.
****************************************************************************
So you're walking on the edge
And you wait your turn to fall
But you're so far gone
That you don't see the hands upheld to catch you
And you could find the fault
In the heart that you've been handed
For though you cannot fly
You're not content to crawl
But it's always too late when you've got nothing
So you say
But you should never let the sun set on tomorrow
Before the sun rises today
****************************************************************************
0945 EST
Harm's Apartment
Harm woke up the next morning and looked at his alarm clock. Upon seeing the time, he was immediately glad it was Saturday as that meant he and his beautiful partner weren't hopelessly late for work. Looking down at the woman sleeping on his chest, he smiled. He still wasn't exactly sure what had caused her outburst the night before, but he knew that she would tell him in time. All he could do was be there for her and let her know she was loved. Tilting his head, he kissed her forehead gently. She stirred slightly. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty," he whispered.
"No," she retorted in her sleep.
Readjusting himself so he had better access to her lips, he kissed her, his tongue playing along the seam of her lips. This brought her to full wakefulness and she opened her mouth to his tongue, allowing him access to the recesses of her mouth. Rolling over on top of her, Harm continued his assault on her senses until a mutual need for air parted them. "Are you awake now?," he asked, as his breath tickled her neck.
"I don't know," she said, looking up at him through half-opened eyes. "Is my wake up call over?"
"No," he said, lowering his head to hers once again in a passionate kiss. When they separated again, he rolled off of her and took her in his arms. "Good morning, I love you."
"Love you too," she murmured contentedly as she laid her head back on his bare chest. Kissing the bare flesh under her face, she said, "Thank you, Harm."
"For what?"
"Being patient with me last night. I was being a baby-"
"No, you weren't," he interrupted. "You were scared, and I understand that. I'm scared, too, Sarah. But I also believe with every fiber of my being that you and I are meant to be together. We're survived five years together so far. I think that's a good sign."
"I guess you're right."
"So, do you wanna get up and do something today, or stay here?" Harm asked.
"Let's stay here. I haven't been lazy in a long time. And who better to be lazy with than the man I love," she said.
"I like the way you think, Sarah."
****************************************************************************
If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down
So you're standing on a ledge
It looks like you might fall
If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of
I will let you down
If I am
Only here to watch you as you suffer
I will let you down
****************************************************************************
1630 EST
Harm's Apartment
Harm looked up from the vegetables he had been cutting for dinner when he saw Mac walk into the living area from the bedroom. She had just gotten out of the shower and was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a Navy t-shirt of Harm's. "You know, Navy blue is your color, Sarah," he teased.
"Cool it, squid," she said.
"You are so beautiful, Sarah," he said seriously. She blushed and looked down as she usually did when he paid her such a compliment. Quickly washing and drying his hands, he walked over to where she was standing. Wrapping his arms around her from behind, he inquired, "Hasn't anyone ever told you that, Sarah? That you're beautiful."
"Yes, but none of them sounded as sincere as you do when you say it. You make me feel beautiful."
"And I intend to keep doing just that," he replied. Kissing the top of her head, he asked, "Did you ever think you'd see the day when we'd be together like this?"
"No," she admitted. "But that didn't stop me from dreaming about it."
"Me, neither," he said, taking her by the shoulders and turning her around to face him. "I love you, Sarah. More than life itself, and I intend to keep my promise from last night and make you the happiest woman alive."
"I'm going to hold you to that, sailor," Mac replied, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "And I love you, too."
****************************************************************************
The answers we find
Are never what we had in mind
So we make it up as we go along
I won't mention tomorrow
And we won't make those promises that we can't keep
I will never leave you
I will never let you down
I will never leave you
I will never let you down