Stars Fell on Pallet Town
by Spruceton Spook
Part 8
Double Realization
Ash had fallen asleep immediately upon returning to his bed, feeling as if a tremendous weight had suddenly been lifted. He did not dream after that, and the next thing he knew, it was morning. It was actually Brock who had woken him up, and when he turned his head groggily to him, Brock announced that he felt like taking an early morning shower. As he left the room, Ash groaned and looked out the window.
It was Saturday. Thinking off it made Ash turn his head away grimly from his window, dreading the fact that both his parents were going to be home that day. And to think, two days before he had been eagerly anticipating it. Bah.
Suddenly, he reconsidered, clearing his mind as his attention directed itself towards Jay. Picturing him in his mind now, Ash couldn't fight the fact that he wanted to be with his dad, and take on the challenge his father had given him the night before. Ever since Ash had fallen in love with Pokémon, he wanted to battle his dad, the one he felt responsible for introducing him to the creatures. How could he pass that up? How could he have acted that way last night?
Disgusted with himself suddenly, he pulled himself out of the bed. He glanced up at Misty, who was still sleeping peacefully, her hand drooped over the side of the bed. Knowing she would wake up with a numbing, tingly arm, Ash walked over and placed her arm back onto the bed beside her. Smiling at his good deed, Ash turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.
The urge to see Jay took a sudden leap, and Ash couldn't believe how he had just ignored him yesterday. He must not have been in his right mind, and he knew that. The good-night's sleep settled in him pleasantly, and he figured that that was just what he needed. His spirits lifted and his nerves calmed, he stepped zealously downstairs. Although he wasn't smiling, he felt reasonably content.
Jay wasn't on the couch. Ash's heart sank when he noticed this, but it wasn't really that early; Jay could be anywhere. Knowing that Jay was definitely going to be around that day, he shrugged it off and didn't worry. First thing was first, he was going to have a big breakfast. If he was going to battle today, he needed strength. But best of all, he was going to battle his dad. Today was going to be good after all. One of his desires was going to be fulfilled, and he walked happily and aimlessly towards the kitchen.
"Oh my God!"
Suddenly, the aghast voice of Delia sounded from the kitchen, and Ash froze dead in his tracks, his eyes widening nervously. He was halted in the entranceway of the kitchen, his eyes fixated on the back of his mother. His breath seized in his lungs as the recollection of last night rushed to the front of his mind, realizing that in the spur of the moment, after he had viciously ripped the divorce papers in half, he had carelessly dropped them into the sink, where they had abided for the remainder of the night. But now, to Ash's horror, they were in the hands of his dumbfounded mom, who held them out in front of her.
Oh, God… Ash moaned to himself as he found himself slowly walking backwards. No, oh crap! I forgot!
For a moment, Ash wanted to sink into the floor. He wanted to run, he wanted to escape, but his feet felt as though they were lead weights. He stared with terror-filled eyes at his mom, who seemed to be in a state of utter disbelief as she held the dearly important contracts in her hands, now just a horde of shreds.
The floorboards chose then to disastrously betray him, groaning under his laborious retreat a little too loudly. Delia spun around, facing Ash with both fists full of the papers. As soon as their eyes met, Ash's heart stopped. His mother's eyes narrowed at him angrily, her teeth clenched into an awful frown.
"Ashton!" she barked, making Ash's stomach flip-flop sickly. Delia's mouth started to move, but nothing came out. She was at a loss for words, but Ash knew exactly what was on her mind. And it frightened him.
Finally, the words that she couldn't seem to find blurted out. "What's this?" She thrust the shreds out in front of her, clearly enough for Ash to see.
Distressed, Ash stuttered over his thoughts and his words. "Um, they-they're, uhhh..."
Delia glared at him, sensing his sudden intentional ignorance. Ash knew she posited him the culprit; it was certain, but he couldn't bring himself to admit to it just yet. He stood there sheepishly, his mother's eyes wearing him down. She always did this when she knew Ash was keeping something, knowing that sooner or later he would crack.
Ash tried his hardest, but as his eyes switched from Delia's face to the papers, back and forth, he suddenly became nauseous. It was no use, anyway, and his mother's stare became more rigid.
"Ash!" she grumbled impatiently, still holding the papers out in front of her. Ash jumped. "Explain this, now!"
Ash panicked. He was caught, and instantly the apologies came pouring from his mouth. "I'm so, so sorry, Mom! I swear I didn't mean to do it!"
Delia shrugged in stupefaction. "What do you mean you didn't mean to do it?! You did this on purpose! How could you do such a thing?!" she cried.
Tears started to come to Ash's eyes. "I don't know," he admitted fearfully, his heart pounding immensely. "I—I don't know!"
"Ash, I know you don't want this divorce, but that is absolutely no excuse for doing this!" she yelled, tossing the useless papers to the floor. At that moment, she came at Ash, causing him to back up swiftly. "Do you realize what you did?!"
Ash almost yelped, but she stopped abruptly and placed her head despairingly in her hands. Her messed-up hair dangled around her shoulders, shrouding her face. Ash was nearly breathless. For a moment, he could have sworn that she was coming at him to swat him a couple of times, but to his relief that had not happened. He still trembled fearfully, however. His mom rarely spanked him, but Ash found that she had a tendency to when she became this angry. And he hadn't seen her this angry in ages.
"Get upstairs, Ash," she mumbled, her face still in her hands. Her head suddenly shot up and she glared fiercely at him. "Get upstairs and go to your room this instant! I have to call the town hall to see if I can get new papers. And you'd better pray that they don't give me a hard time!"
"Mom…" Ash started, holding out his arms in consolation. He was going to attempt to explain, but he didn't get too far.
"Now!" she bellowed, pointing furiously at the stairs. She stamped her foot impatiently and Ash's heart leapt again. Shrinking back, he obediently turned and shot up the stairs. He wasn't going to upset her any more than she already was.
As he reached the top of the staircase, millions of thoughts ran through his mind. He wondered first of all what had possibly gone through his mind when he had ripped those papers up, and secondly why in hell had he just left them there? How stupid could he have been?! Ash slapped his forehead in utter frustration and realization of his dumbness. That had to be the most stupid, brainless thing he'd ever done.
Filled with dread, Ash crashed through his bedroom door noisily, and slammed it closed, not locking it. He rested with his back to it for a moment, then began to nervously pace the floor. Beads of sweat glistened on his face and he huffed large, gulping breaths of air.
His stampeding promenade awakened Misty, and she bolted up in her bed, looking down at him in alarm. "Ash! What's wrong?" she asked fretfully.
Ash startled for a moment when he heard her voice. He looked up quickly, and Misty herself balked when she saw the fear radiating from him. Ash was breathing heavily, and his fingers were running through his black hair wildly.
His voice crackled with indubitable panic as he spoke. "Oh, Misty, I'm in so much trouble! My mom's gonna kill me!"
Misty's eyes darted. "Why?! What did you do?"
Ash hands fell from his hair to his mouth, where he began to gnaw at them nervously. Misty witnessed his eyes shine over in tears. What could Ash have possibly done to make his mom so mad at him this early in the morning?
Ash was silent for a moment, and Misty leaned forward over the bed hungrily awaiting his response. He looked up at her sheepishly. "I tore up my parents' divorce papers," he revealed quietly, his voice shaky.
Misty's jaw dropped in shock and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "Ash! Wha—Why the heck did you do that?!"
Ash shook his head, still not really knowing himself. "I don't know," he moaned. "I really don't know. I—I had them in my hands and I…I…" He trailed off and began to pace the floor again, holding his head shamefully in his hands.
Misty looked to the floor, suddenly at a loss for words.
"My mom's calling the place now," Ash said, walking over to the window and looking out. Tears were beginning to spill down his cheeks. "I can't believe I did this. I am dead meat. And—oh my God!—what if they won't give her new papers? What if she could only have one copy?"
Ash thought he was going to have a heart attack right then and there. He actually grabbed for his chest for a second. Misty realized his insurmountable dread, and spoke up quickly.
"Ash, stop," she said, trying her best to console him. "They'll give her new papers. You don't have to worry about that."
Not replying, Misty could feel that he was still scared, and that it didn't matter what she would tell him. She glanced down at him with a small, nervous smile, but not wide enough to make him mistakenly think she was happy.
"Do you want me to leave?" she asked silently, thinking that her being in the room when Delia came up might be a little cumbersome. If Delia was to blow up on Ash, she certainly did not want to be present for it. For Ash's sake and her own.
Pausing, Ash looked up beseechingly at her. "Would you?" He doubted his mother would punish him in front of Misty, but he could not hold complete faith in that, considering Delia's frustration. It was the last thing he needed.
"Of course," she granted, and immediately shuffled out of bed, grabbing Togepi with her. When Ash saw Togepi, he instinctively looked around for Pikachu, but he was not in the room. Ash figured he must have crashed somewhere else that night. Sometimes Pikachu slept on Delia's bed, and he could very well still be cuddled up in her blankets as they spoke.
She smiled heedfully at him as she made her way past. "Good luck," she said.
"Thanks," Ash replied timidly.
Delia came in at exactly the same time Misty left the room. Misty smiled a courteous good-morning to her, which Delia returned, though with rigidity in her voice. Misty slipped out shortly after. This stalled Delia for about a second, but that was one more second for Ash's fear to build up. Although he couldn't bear to think of it, he tensed and waited to receive whatever punishment Delia was going to administer to him.
He couldn't control his emotions, however, when Delia looked at him for the first time, the blaze in her eyes piercing through Ash. A shudder running through him, he broke out in a mess of sobs and pouts, folding his hands into a begging fashion.
"Please, Mom!" Ash pleaded. Delia stood with her hands on her hips, her stern frown intimidating Ash more and more by the second. "I am so, so, sooo sorry! I have no idea why I did it, I really don't! Just, please don't—don't… I—I'm…so…sorry…"
At this, he couldn't say any more, and he started to cry loudly, covering his face in his hands. His eyes shut tightly to block the tears, causing him not to notice his mother's face suddenly lighten and her eyes drooping sadly as she watched her son pour out his apologies to her. He was truly sorry, she could see that, but her conscience battled her, debating silently whether or not she was just going to let him get away with such a sizable infraction.
With a heavy, defeated sigh, she walked over to Ash and pulled him into her arms, wrapping them around his head tenderly. She allowed Ash to bury his head into her chest as he wailed, his own arms still wrapped around himself protectively. Her body vibrated gently as Ash cried into her.
"Shhhh…" she soothed, rocking him back and forth delicately. She stroked his soft hair as she rocked, then carefully led him to the one of the rollaway beds. She seated herself and Ash followed, wrapping his arms around her in a comforting hug as soon as he sat. Delia squeezed him tighter, her other hand lowering to rub his back comfortingly.
"It's okay, Ash," she said mildly, closing her eyes and resting her chin gently on his head. "It's okay now."
There was a momentary silence as this soaked into Ash, not yet fully coming to the realization that his mom had no intention of punishing him. Feeling her warm arms around him lovingly calmed his beating heart, and he unintentionally wiped his wet face on her soft bathrobe. Her hair fell down lightly on his face, tickling his sensitive skin, and her pleasant smell flowed wonderfully up his nose. He smiled with relief to himself, wondering how he could ever fear her.
"I'm sorry, Mama," he apologized inaudibly again, clutching his hands around her back. "I really don't know why I did it."
"I know," she replied, and she started to rock him again. "It's okay."
"R-really?" Ash asked, looking up at her, not sure if he was ready to just accept this sudden change of heart. Sure, it may have been okay, but was that it? She was just going to let it go? Forgive him completely without penalty?
Delia nodded sincerely, though her face was still pulled down in an unhappy frown. Ash knew she wasn't mad anymore, though: her demeanor was calm, her eyes were light, and she wasn't tense. He rested his head on her chest again, and she continued to brush through his knotty hair with her fingers.
"But, Ash honey, you have to tell me," she started, her stare directed at the ceiling. "What possessed you to do that?"
Ash shrugged. "I really don't know. I just saw the papers, and—and I snapped. I guess…I guess my anger just took over."
"When did you do that?"
"Last night. They…they were just on the table and I spotted them…"
Delia exhaled greatly. "Now, see…that was my mistake. I should have put the damn things away."
"No, Mom," Ash corrected. "You should be able to trust me. And I let you down."
"But still, they were really important," she countered. "That's just ignorance on my part. I was just so, so tired last night, and…it must not have even occurred to me."
Ash didn't respond, and she glanced down at him. She smiled slightly as she stared at her son, still dressed in his pajamas, his slippered feet dangled just above the floor. Poor guy, she thought sadly. He's gone through too much. Pulling his head down to her shoulder comfortingly, she looked off out the window.
"I thought you guys were back together," Ash suddenly blurted out, wrenching Delia from her thoughts.
"What, baby?" she asked, not quite catching Ash's sudden interjection.
Ash lifted his head. His expression was clouded over with sadness and disappointment, and his mother's heart sank. His mouth curled as the urge to cry came over him again. "I—I thought…when I saw Dad home, that…that you guys were getting back together."
Delia couldn't control the gasp that emerged from her throat. Her heart sank. She gaped at her boy and her eyes started to well up in tears, instantly realizing the trauma that Ash was going through. Imagine, being so full of optimism, only to have to collapse right in front of your eyes. She reached up and stroked his red, raw face.
"Oh, honey…" she choked.
Tears escaped Ash's eyes. "That was my dream come true, you know," he mumbled. "I—I always prayed that somehow you guys would make up. And that Dad would be there at home, waiting for me. And this time he was, and I…I just felt so happy…so—so complete."
"Oh, Ash, see?" Delia cried, gripping his shoulder. "Can't you see now why I didn't want to tell you? I knew it would be horrible for you, and I didn't want to hurt you!"
Ash nodded, looking down. "But…"
"But what?"
"You…still do love him, though…don't you?" Ash asked hopefully, shocking Delia. She never believed Ash would ever have asked such a question, but as he stared deeply into her eyes, she felt overwhelmed with pressure.
"I—I," she stuttered as Ash looked at her, anticipating the very important answer. Delia hated to do it, but she wasn't going to lie to Ash. "Oh Ash, I…don't think so."
Ash's eyelids fell dejectedly. "Oh," he answered somberly.
"Sweetheart, it's a lot tougher than you think," Delia explained, holding Ash close to her. She couldn't believe how difficult it was to tell him this. "I've considered getting back together so many times, I really did. But it—it's just not that easy. All I can find myself thinking about is what he did, and wondering, constantly wondering if…if he'd ever do it again."
Ash didn't reply. His memory was flashing back to the disrupted period in his life, when he thought things could not get any unhappier. When his mom found out that his dad had cheated on her. As Ash had grown older, he understood the situation more, often shuddering at the thought of it. He loved Jay, but he just couldn't imagine how he would do that to his mom, hurt her that way. Destroy their secure, happy lives so irresponsibly and selfishly.
"But don't you miss him sometimes?" Ash asked softly, his head still rested cozily on her chest. "Don't you wish he was still home?"
Delia took a deep breath; Ash could feel it. "Yes," she answered simply, causing Ash's head to rise. "I do sometimes, but…I don't think it will ever be the same between us. He's your father, Ash. He always will be. But I think it's time that…that it would be better this way. Don't you understand?"
"I guess so," Ash replied. "I-I just thought that maybe, well…"
"What?" his mother encouraged gently.
"I dunno," responded Ash, shaking his head. "I thought you still loved him. You talked about him so favorably all those times, that…that, well, we talked about him."
Delia sighed. "That's because I didn't want to upset you, honey. I thought if I always told you how much I...didn't like him, it would bother you."
"I'd rather you be truthful with me."
Delia slouched and looked back out the window. Ash could sense the meaning behind the sudden silence, and he lowered his head.
"Then I will be truthful with you, Ash," she said suddenly. Ash's eyes swept up to hers eagerly. "I don't love him anymore. I haven't for a while." Her voice was shaking, which Ash couldn't help but catching. She was breathing heavily, and her eyes were shooting all over the room. "What he did to me was—was something I hope you never have to experience. It's…awful. And I want to put it all behind me; I have to move on."
Their eyes met. For a moment, nothing passed between them. As Delia's words sank into him, he could see her attention darting nervously. He held her hands tightly, cold and tight as they were. Though he wanted to believe every word she said simply for the sake of trusting her assertions, something didn't make sense. He had to ask. If he didn't, none of this would make complete sense to him.
"If you don't love him," he started carefully, bracing himself, "and you want to move on… How come, after all these years, you still have your wedding portraits still hanging in your room?"
Delia's heart leapt and she drew back slightly from Ash. Her son perked, getting the reaction he almost anticipated, and glared at her, not in a demanding fashion, but pressing all the same. She turned away from him and bit her lip, which Ash trembled excitedly at.
The thought of the wedding pictures had just occurred to him. Delia had three of them hanging above her vanity—big, colorful 8x10 photos of her and Jay exchanging rings, one of them posing with the wedding party outside the church, and another of them entering their limousine. They were gorgeous, professional portraits, each framed in solid oak and inscribed "Jacey and Delia: October 14th, 1986." They had been hanging there since before Ash was born, twelve months later. He remembered looking at them when he was young, thinking how beautiful they were. And to this day, they were still there, never taken down, never put away. If his mom really hated Jay for what he had done, why were they still there, a constant reminder of happy times long gone?
Delia was in a jam. She trembled ever so slightly, swallowing heavily. She pulled her hands away from Ash and wrung them nervously, finally finding the courage to look at her son.
"I guess I just never had the heart...or the ambition, to do it," Delia replied. She clenched her teeth, just realizing then that she had deceived Ash again. She loved the pictures, she couldn't help but admit. Her wedding day, besides the day she had Ash, was the happiest day of her life, and even after Jay had left, the thought of the event brought a warm, happy feeling over her. No later to be replaced by a depressing one, thinking of how something she thought was so right turned out to be so wrong.
"Besides, I paid a lot of money for them," she added, stifling a small chuckle.
Ash just stared, and Delia stood up, patting him softly on the shoulder and kissing him on top of his head.
"I guess you guys want breakfast," she changed the subject. "Your dad will be home from the store soon, so I should have breakfast ready."
"Okay," Ash managed, still sitting in the same position, his heart pumping vigorously.
As she walked out the door, she suddenly stopped and looked back at him. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere today, but later I…I have to go to Viridian City to get new papers. Just—just to let you know."
Ash's face fell. "Sorry," he whispered.
Delia smiled forgivingly. "I told you, it's okay. It's behind us now, all right?"
Ash brushed his foot along the ground. "...Are you going to tell Dad?" he mumbled apprehensively.
"No," she replied sincerely, determined to extinguish the remainder of his worry. "I don't think he needs to know."
Ash smiled, allayed at this pledge, and she left the room. He collapsed on the bed, the whole morning's event windstorming in his head. He was absolved and unscathed, and he couldn't believe it! But the fact that he had successfully gotten himself out of such a tight jam swiftly became one of the last things on his mind.
Misty came in a little after that, and she found Ash staring at the ceiling, engaged in thought. She modestly knocked on the door and Ash's head lifted. He didn't look too happy.
"Is everything okay?" Her tone was cautiously.
"No," Ash replied, and she tensed. His eyes burned into her with fierce gravity and she backed away a little, anxious.
"What...?" she asked nervously.
"She still likes him."
"Huh?!"
Ash took a deep breath, and his face lit up with a smile she would have never expected to see on his face that morning. "She still likes him and he likes her, and come hell or high water, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to help."
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
Note to Trish and all others who were wondering about the lei game: One night, SaltNPepper and I were at Pepper's house, and she's got a ceiling fan in her room. I dunno who started it, but she had a Hawaiian lei and someone threw it up at the fan, ya know, just to be stupid and all. (If it was too be stupid, it was probably me! ) Anyway, the lei got caught on the fan, spun around a couple times, and then landed right on whoever's head, I don't know whose! This was, like, a really long time ago, and I have a short memory! So then we kept throwing it up on the fan, stood in different sections of the room, and kept score of how many times we each caught it. The lei always flew off in different directions, and sometimes it even got caught on the fan. When that happened, we got more points. We couldn't use our hands or anything. We played that for about an hour until the lei was in tatters from being thrown at the fan so much. It was sooo much fun! I think I won, but I don't remember. So that's what inspired that part. Hope this clears it up!