'Take My Hand'
By The Infamous Boss Reo
(Based on the song by Dido)
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This fic is dedicated to the memory of Daryl, AKA Dareru; fellow fanfiction author and digimon fan. His work and memory will live on in our hearts.
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******
Touch my skin and tell me what your thinking,
take my hand and show me where we're going
Lie down next to me,
look into my eyes and tell me,
oh tell me what you're seeing
******
These sort of things don't just happen… of course not, otherwise they'd never be there at all. But I'm just rambling.
I'll never forget him, his face, his blue eyes, his silky hair. That suit really looked cute on him too. Me? All I have are goggles. Not that I'm complaining, the flamed jacket's cool too…
Alright, if you must know, I'm talking about Ken. You happy? We did have something a while back; before we grew up, before we went on with our lives… Of course, a Chinese noodle franchise doesn't run itself, now does it? Maybe I should have Veemon take over?
No, wait, he and Stingmon are already married.
It was pretty interesting, being at the wedding. He was Flamedramon, with no armor of course, and standing next to him was Stingmon, wearing a cute tie. I swear, that bug was blushing all through the ceremony. Most people just couldn't picture them, for some reason, but I could definitely tell they were going to end up together. Fladremon actually looked very feminine during the reception, I guess without all that armor on, he looks rather girlish. I was joking with him about who'd be the woman of the relationship, he just said it would depend on what stage they were in.
Ken was there too, along with Yolei and their children.
I remember seeing them at a table, the whole party was taking place in the digital world, as per Stingmon's request for where the wedding would take place. I joined them at their table, saying how great it was to see them again. I could tell by the three kids that they'd definitely been busy.
We joked and laughed, catching up on how we were doing. I couldn't really remember what Yolei had said much though, I guess I was too fixated on Ken.
We must have spent two hours at the table, just the two of us. Yolei had gone off with their kids, damned if I can ever remember their names. But anyway, it was just us two, like before. He looked into my eyes and I looked back into his, there was almost a complete silence between us while the rest of the reception went on around us.
******
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling,
what you feel now is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you,
I'll always be alone, if I'm lying to you
******
We could've been there all day, my entire body stiffened as I felt my hand suddenly reaching for his.
"I've missed you a lot." I whispered, it seemed I didn't want to do it, but my emotions just seemed to take over. He gazed back at me, not even seeming like he was shocked or anything. Just something about where we were, it all felt like we were young again.
"It's really been a long time." He finally said, smiling. I felt his hand take mine, holding it. It almost felt like we hadn't grown up at all, that it was still when we were kids. When we loved each other…
"Mind if we join you?" we heard someone say, we both turned our heads, seeing an all-too familiar face.
"Takeru!" Ken said cheerfully, "Wow, you've sure changed!" I added, he sat down, looking at us both, "I see some things haven't changed?" he joked, Ken blushed in front of our very eyes. Out of all the times we've all been together, rarely had we ever seen him blush, it was almost like seeing somebody rise from the dead. Takeru and I just chuckled, "Really been something, hasn't it?" I asked, "Who knew they'd actually go ahead and get married?"
"I guess that means you'll be running the noodle business on your own from now on?" Takeru asked jokingly, "Nah…" I replied, "I'll just bring a noodle cart along with them on their honeymoon." All three of us laughed, not noticing the arrival of yet another.
"Already making long-term plans for them, I see?" the person asked, he had light blonde hair, unlike TK's dirty blonde color, and sported a small goatee.
"Hey hun." Takeru said, both me and Ken looked wide-eyed at them both as he sat down, "Wallace?" I finally asked, he smiled and nodded, "Couldn't guess with the goatee, huh?" he asked, "The tattoo's nice." Ken said, pointing out the black web-like tattoo running across the back of his neck.
We watched as the two of them kissed in front of us, Ken looked back at me.
******
See my eyes, they carry your reflection,
watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you
Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me,
show me what you're doing
******
Later on, it was a bit darker. I had gone through the whole reception, seeing everyone again, meeting some new faces, approaching some old ones. I think Matt had to be the one who surprised all of us the most, who knew he'd end up as an astronaut? Of course, he and Sora didn't really stand near each other. I guess it runs in the family, not to sound mean.
I can't really say I paid much attention to anything else about the wedding, though. I saw Ken, once again standing by himself, far from the rest of the ceremony.
"Old habits die hard?" I asked, he turned around to see me, smiling, "As if time is supposed to kill them off?" he answered, I chuckled.
"Can I ask something?" he looked back at me after taking a drink, "What is it?"
"Do you… …do you ever feel like it could've been us doing this?" I asked, gazing back at the reception. His eyes shifted towards the celebration, "Do you mean if I could take it all back? Not have married Yolei, had children?" I moved closer to him, "Yeah…"
"I can't say that I'm truly sure…" he said quietly, I brought my hand to his face, "Ken…." He turned his head to face me. The rest happened quickly; I brought my mouth to his, pressing against it. Honest to god, this very day, I can't tell weather he tried to fight it, or if he wanted it to happen. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours to me, "Davis…" he whispered, "….I can't."
I broke the kiss, turning away from him.
"I know." I said, "But I just wanted it to seem like it. One final time.." I walked away from him, from the reception, heading back home..
******
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling,
what you feel now is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you,
I'll always be alone, if I'm lying to you
******
I never really moved out of Odaiba, I guess I've grown too much there, so many roots, so many memories… I didn't really stay there, though, I only had a hotel room. The trip back from the Digital World wasn't long, when I got back to my hotel room, I headed right for the shower. It felt right that I should wash myself, I had too much on me, it needed to be gone forever.
It must have been at least half an hour by the time I came out of the shower; by then it was completely dark, and I fumbled for a light switch as I dried my hair.
As I flicked on the light, I came face to face with Ken.
It was a surprise, really. After what I had done, I had figured he left with Yolei.
"K….Ken?!" I choked, not even expecting him there.
"Daisuke…." He placed his hands on my shoulders, his coat was already draped over a chair. I just gazed into his eyes, his beautiful, deep blue eyes. I was entranced by the hypnotic effect they had on me. He leaned towards me, his hair falling over the sides of his face, I didn't do a thing as he kissed me. Our embrace soon lengthened as he led me towards my hotel bed…
******
Take your time, if I'm lying to you,
I know you'll find that you believe me, you believe me
******
He never told Yolei about that night. I never told her, either. It was one final time where we were both truly together, just us two, remembering our love that we once shared. We did keep in touch, though. I would call their house, from time to time. We both kept up on Stingmon and Fladremon, I guess, in a way, we were family now.
Family…
For some reason, when I think of that word, and how we're connected by it, it just seems so beautiful…
We did see each other again, as did we the rest of our friends, but never had any gathering meant so much to me as did that wedding. Now I keep getting my hopes up, seeing if they'd make it to any of our gatherings. I started visiting him and Yolei more often, their kids eventually even regarded me as an uncle. Cute, isn't it?
I'd be visiting mainly with Ken, though, but I still enjoyed playing with his children.
******
Catch the snow on your tongue and show me how it tastes..
******
…I remember rushing through the hospital hallway, hurrying to find his room number. Finding his son in the hallway seemed to be an easy indication about where he was. Iori was there as well, along Armadimon.
"How bad is it?" I asked him, holding his son in my arms. Iori just looked at me with a grim look, "He's not going to make it past this week." He said, lowering his eyes from mine, "Yolei's with him, right now. You can go in there, if you want."
"Where's everyone else?" I asked, "Kari already stopped by, but she had to go home, so did TK and Wallace."
I left Ken's son with him, slowly stepping in the room. It felt so dead, the air just seemed so lifeless in there, my stomach almost was churning.
There Yolei was, sitting next to his bed. She had been crying almost all day and night, holding his hand. Tubes were put into his arm, as well as into his nose. The rest of him didn't look that bad, though. In fact, I'd say he still had his features well intact. Leave it to him to die handsome.
"Yolei?" I whispered, she looked back at me, her eyes red from so many tears. She got up slowly, wiping her eyes, "He's been waiting for you…" she whispered as she walked past me, "…take your time."
I sat down next to his bed. Nervously, I fumbled my hands, clasping them together. There was no life in that room, the only sound was the small beeping from the machine next to him.
"Ken…" I whispered, his eyes remained closed. I lowered my head, feeling only an outpour of emotion, my eyes felt watery, my chest seemed to be wanting imploding in itself. I just sat there, looking at him.
"…Was hoping you'd show up.." I heard his fragile voice say, I looked up and saw him. A faint smile was on his face as his eyes met mine, I smiled back, taking his hand.
******
Take your time…
******
"Who knew, huh?" I asked, "After all we went through, all the battles and psycho digimon…"
"It's actually pretty embarrassing." He said softly, I gave a light chuckle, "Don't worry…" I said to him, "You're gonna pull through." He raised an eyebrow, smiling, "You always were bad at lying." He said, I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I held his hand tighter, "I guess I just can't really do anything right when I'm around you." I smiled, he sighed and rested his head against his pillow.
"It's pretty amazing, isn't it?" he asked, "What is?"
"How our lives have been.." he said, "I still remember the very day I was out there, cracking my whip and sending out those dumb little pieces of jewelry to lock around the neck of every digimon I could see…"
"You did look rather sexy in that outfit." I joked, he looked at me and smirked, "I know." He said, "I even remember looking at myself in the mirror a few times while I was wearing it." he looked into my eyes again, "Davis?"
I looked back at him, "Do you remember when you asked me about that wedding?" I nodded, "….I was wrong." he whispered, "What do you mean?" I asked, "I would have. In fact, if I could change it this very instant, I would have spent the rest of my life with you…"
More tears filled my eyes as I felt his hand press against my cheek.
******
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you, I'll always be alone,
if I'm lying to you
******
"I'm not good at these sort of things…" he said, he reached for something that was around his neck; a necklace. Pulling it from him, he opened my palm, placing it in it and closing my hand around it.
"Ken?" he just smiled, "…it helped me think of you." He said, "…you were the one who helped me regain it…"
I opened my hand, seeing his crest. The crest of Kindness. I closed my eyes as I clenched my hand around the small talisman, finally letting go the tears that had built up for so long.
"Ken, I…."
His hand brushed against my cheek, "I love you, Davis…" he whispered, I brought my other hand around his, crying against it.
"I love you, Ken….."
I continued to cry against it, even as I felt it become limp in my grip…
******
Take your time and if I'm lying to you,
I know you'll find that you believe me
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you, I'll always be alone,
if I'm lying to you
******
……"Ken Ichijouji was more dear to me than anyone I ever knew…" I said as I stood at the podium, friends and strangers alike sat in the peers in front of me, while Yolei sat at the front, along with Wormmon, Veemon, Hawkmon, Iori and Armadimon, "He brought a great gift to everyone who met him…" I continued, "…that gift was kindness.." I took a moment to wipe a few tears from my eyes, "He truly had a lasting effect on all our lives, and we will never forget him…" I looked out among the crowd, once again seeing those whose faces I knew, along with many I never met before. Kari sat with Tai, while I could see Matt and Sora, actually sitting with one another.
"In a way…" I finished, "…he brought many people closer to one another than ever could be imagined possible."
Far in the back, my eyes could make out Takeru, sitting alongside Wallace.
"I loved him." I said, "And I'll never forget him, or what he had done with his life, or how he had changed mine..."
I stepped down from the podium, taking the moment to look at his face, one last time.
"I'll always love you, Ken…" I whispered.
******
Take your time and if I'm lying to you,
I know you'll find that you believe me, you believe me…
******
The End…
…Peace be with you, Daryl…