Disclaimer: This story is based on the Spelling Television/WB Television Network series 'Charmed'. All characters belong to their original owners. The story is meant for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement was intended.
PEDIGREE
Phoebe's eyes flashed with indignation. She placed her hands on her hips and gave Cole a look that would have withered the Source himself.
Not so Cole. He met her stare and glowered straight back at her, his jaw set in anger.
"You--," Phoebe began but before she could say another word, he shimmered and was gone. "Aargh!" she screamed at the empty room. "Damn you!" He *always* did that when they were quarreling!
She grabbed for the first object at hand -a vase that fortunately held no flowers- and flung it with all her might at the spot where Cole had stood. The vase struck the far wall and shattered to a thousand pieces. "Damn you," she repeated in a mutter. She exhaled a sob and stared at the shards of white porcelain. After a few minutes she wiped the tears from her face and went to get a broom to clear away the rubble.
They didn't fight often, she and Cole. The few arguments they did have came on fast and furious, lightning storms that struck out of nowhere. And like those storms, they cleared the air. Once their fury was spent, the harsh words were soon forgotten.
Phoebe dropped the remnants of the vase in the trashcan and closed the lid. Yes, the making-up afterward was worth the trouble. She already couldn't wait for Cole to come back home.
That, she pondered while she put the broom back in the closet, was the one thing that truly bothered her about the infrequent fights: Cole's tendency to shimmer in the middle of an argument. It was not easy to have an old-fashioned shouting match when the person you hollered at disappeared into thin air while you were busy doing the yelling.
Phoebe chuckled. Of course she and Cole weren't a run of the mill couple. A witch and a demon, who would have guessed? She heated some water, made herself a cup of tea and sat down at the kitchen table to wait for Cole's return.
To all outward appearances they were an ordinary pair. Phoebe was still in college while Cole continued to work as a prosecutor. It had taken a lot of persuasion before the office took him back. Then again, she philosophized with pride, he was too good at his job for them to let him go: he barely ever lost a case. No one but her knew that his near-perfect record was because he had an infallible talent to determine guilt or innocence in a suspect.
No, it was when people were *not* looking that things got odd. Evils of the dark side hunted them. Demons, warlocks, they all wanted to win the price that was on their heads. That was why she always worried when Cole shimmered. The underworld creatures would have a hard time surprising them on their home turf San Francisco. But Phoebe had no idea where Cole went when he shimmered. In any of the realms he passed through, demons might be lurking and waiting to kill him.
A knock on the door startled her from her reflections. She downed the last sip of the tea that had gone cold and went to answer the door. Cole stood at the other side, his hand raised for another knock. Phoebe's heart skipped a beat with relief at the sight. Without a word, she stepped away to let him in.
"Forgot the key," he mumbled.
"Oh." The silence was deafening. Outside a cable car drove by, tolling its bells.
"I'm sorry," Phoebe said, at the same moment that Cole did. They stared at each other, then began to laugh.
"I love you." Cole opened his arms in invitation.
Phoebe's eyes lit up and she smiled. She stepped into his embrace, wrapped her arms around his chest and raised her face until their lips met. "I love you too."
* * *
Afterward, when their skins were still damp with perspiration and the musky scent of passion was heavy in the air, Phoebe rested her cheek upon his chest. For long minutes she listened to his heartbeat, enjoyed the steady rise and fall of her head in rhythm with his breathing.
"Cole?"
"Mmm?" He brushed a strand of hair from her face and she lifted her head to meet his eyes.
"Why do you always shimmer when we argue?"
As soon as the words left her lips, Cole tensed. He lifted her up off his chest and rolled away. His shirt and pants lay rumpled on the floor and he reached for them.
"I can't tell you that, Phoebe," he said. "I don't know why."
It was a lie; Phoebe knew it at once. She recognized the way he averted to look at her. Ever since that first, terrible lie had come out, Cole found it impossible to deceive her. Even white lies, about the quality of her cooking or when he wanted to surprise her with a weekend trip out of town, she always recognized them.
"Cole--"
"Please, Phoebe!" His voice was as tense as his posture.
Phoebe frowned. She sensed danger; another lightning storm was brewing over the horizon. A second quarrel so soon after the first one, that had never happened. She decided to drop the subject. He would tell her in due time, she was sure of it.
"Piper is bringing baby Melinda over tomorrow afternoon," she changed the topic. "The Weather Channel predicts a beautiful day, so I was thinking about taking her to the park."
Cole visibly relaxed and he turned around to face her. "That's a great idea. You know what, I think I can manage to take a few hours off. I could come with you, if you like."
"That'd be wonderful! Melinda loves her Uncle Cole."
Cole raised an eyebrow. "Just Melinda?"
Phoebe sat up. She was unaware of the way the moonlight, which fell in through the window, played with her hair and across her bare skin. She was, however, very aware of the sudden change in Cole's expression. Love and lust mingled on his face and he gave her a wolfish grin. Phoebe giggled and held out her hands.
"I love you too."
Cole's clothes soon found themselves discarded on the floor again.
* * *
"Blanket, bottle, Melinda's Bunny..." Phoebe ran down the list on her fingers. "Rocking Rings..." She reached for a colorful toy that rattled when she picked it up. She added it to the backpack on the kitchen table. "Wipes. What else?"
"Diapers!" Piper reminded her. She handed a couple of Pampers to her sister who stuffed them in her pack.
"Of course," Phoebe smiled. She stooped to nuzzle her young niece until the little girl giggled. "We don't want you to have an accident, do we?" Melinda sat in the portable car seat that Piper had parked upon the kitchen table. The toddler's attention was on the straps of Phoebe's backpack and she kept grabbing for them.
The front door opened and a moment later Cole strolled into the kitchen.
"Hey, Handsome," Phoebe smiled.
Cole shoved his briefcase under the table and dipped his head to brush his lips along her temple. "Hey yourself. Hi, Piper."
"Hello, Cole," Piper replied.
Cole made a face at Melinda that caused her to bubble with laughter. "Let me change into something more comfortable," he motioned at the three-piece suit -his court clothes Phoebe called them- "and I'm ready to go." He turned to Piper. "It is okay if we take Melinda to the park, isn't it?"
"Yeah, sure. She loves it out. Keep a close eye on her; she's starting to figure out how to crawl. She's that age, you know. Although," Piper added with a fond chuckle, "so far she only managed to go backwards instead of forwards."
Phoebe laughed. "Really? That is too cute!"
Piper beamed with pride. "Well, I better be off then. I'm double-parked. You have my cell phone number, so call if anything happens."
"Sure," Phoebe said. She nudged her sister in the direction of the door. "We'll take good care of her, don't worry about it."
"Okay." Piper sighed. "Bye bye, Melinda." She kept blowing kisses at her daughter while she allowed Phoebe to steer her to the front door.
Cole changed clothes as Phoebe finished packing. "Amazing how much one needs for a trip to the park with a little child," she laughed as she handed Cole the backpack. She lifted Melinda from the seat and placed her in a baby carrier that she could strap to her chest. "Ready to go."
* * *
The Weather Channel made good on its promise. The sun stood high in a bright blue sky with a soft breeze blowing in from across the bay. Cole took Phoebe's hand and their fingers laced while they walked down the hill and entered the park grounds.
Phoebe looked around for the perfect spot to have their picnic. They weren't the only people to take advantage of the pleasant summer's day. Men and women with bronzed skins covered in colorful spandex jogged on the paths. Pensioners sat gossiping on the wood benches. Children played catch in the field and their voices rose with laughter whenever they missed the ball.
"Over there?" Phoebe pointed at a cluster of trees with the fresh green leaves of early summer. The dotted shade would give them some protection from the sun.
"Looks good to me." Cole pulled the blanket from the pack and spread it out in the grass. Phoebe kneeled and shifted the baby carrier from her shoulders. She helped Melinda out of the carrier and placed the girl on the blanket. The baby's gaze flickered as she tried to take in all the activities she saw. Her eyes glimmered with excitement.
"Eh eh eh!" Melinda gurgled. Her grin revealed the two teeth that she had recently grown and she hopped up and down on her bottom.
Phoebe chuckled. "You like this, huh?"
"Eh eh eh!"
Phoebe gave her niece the colorful Rings to play with and Melinda began stacking and unstacking them from their pole right away. Every once in a while, she shook a ring, filled with little beads, and crowed at the rattle she created.
"Ah, I could get used to this," Cole sighed. He had planted himself on the blanket and lay on his side, one hand beneath his head. "It sure beats pleading to a sleepy jury in a musty court room."
"It was nice that you could take off from work," Phoebe agreed.
He shrugged. "I will have to put in some time tonight," he confessed. "I need to have the indictment for the Tierney case finished by tomorrow."
Phoebe nestled herself in his arms without taking her eyes off of Melinda.
"That's all right. I should do some work on my thesis anyway. I want to get it finished so I can graduate before the summer's over."
"Hmmm," Cole muttered. He dipped his head and started nibbling on her ear while his free hand slipped beneath her shirt to draw lazy circles on her bare stomach.
Delicious shivers ran along Phoebe's spine. She was about to turn up her face to offer her mouth for a kiss when she stiffened and jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. "Look at that!"
"Ow!" Cole coughed. "I see it."
Melinda had thrown one of her rings, a bright red one, out of reach. Unaware of the eyes that watched her, she pushed herself up on her hands and knees and step by little step crawled toward the ring. Once she reached it, she hesitated a moment before lifting a small hand to grab the red toy. However, she found that keeping upright on three limbs instead of four demanded more expertise than she had. She lost her balance and toppled over.
"Oops..." Phoebe said.
Melinda opened her mouth to voice her bitter disappointment.
Phoebe disentangled herself from Cole's arms to jump to her feet. She picked the little girl up and asserted she was unharmed. "Oh honey. It is so frustrating, isn't it?" It was hard not to laugh at the baby's antics when she knew that all her niece had hurt was her pride.
Phoebe turned to see Cole watch them with a curious expression on his face. "What?" she laughed. "What are you looking at?"
"You," he replied. "You're so good with kids."
She smiled and set the baby back down on the blanket. When Phoebe handed her the red ring, Melinda forgot all about her tumble in the grass. She shook the ring until it rattled, then dropped it in favor of a blue one.
"You think so?" Phoebe said. "That's good. One day I want to have kids of my own. Lots of them." She grinned mischievously as she leaned in to kiss Cole. He averted her lips and sat up to stare at the far horizon.
She sensed the change in his mood and plopped down beside him. "What is it?" she asked. "What's bothering you?"
"Nothing."
"C'mon Cole," she said. "This is me, Phoebe. Please talk to me."
Cole hesitated before he turned to look at her. The forlorn expression in his gray eyes shocked her. "If you want to have children," he said, drawing out the words, "I'm not the man for you."
A furrow appeared between her brows. "You don't want kids? I know we never talked about it but I assumed-- I mean, if you don't want them..." Her voice trailed off. They had never discussed the subject before, not even when Piper had Melinda. What if Cole didn't want children? How important was having a child of her own to her? Phoebe loved her niece, yet she also loved Cole.
Cole grabbed her hand. "It's not that I don't want to," he said. "I would love to have a child with you, Phoebe. But I can't."
She stared at him in confusion. "What do you m--" Then it dawned on her. "Oh, you mean that you...?" She didn't finish the question.
Cole growled with frustration. "No Phoebe, that's not what I mean! I *can* procreate. But I won't. I'm a half-demon, remember? Our children would have a quarter of demonic blood. It's not something I want for them."
Phoebe fell silent and plucked at the blanket. Her eyes sought Melinda. Exhausted by all the exercise, the little girl had fallen asleep on the blanket, her tiny fingers curled around her toy.
"I admit I sometimes forget about your... ancestry," Phoebe muttered. She lifted her head to face him. "You're human now! You fought it. And our children--"
"I am still fighting!" Cole gritted his teeth. "Phoebe, you have no idea what it's like. The struggle I go through *every day* to keep Belthazor subdued. He's a part of me that's always there, in my head. He whispers to me every second that I'm awake. And at night, he haunts my dreams. That is NOT a heritage I care to pass on."
"I'm sorry," Phoebe whispered. She placed her hand on his arm. "I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?"
Cole shrugged. "I was afraid," he admitted. "Afraid to frighten you, afraid that you would stop trusting me." He pulled up his knees, wrapped his hands around them and stared out across the sunlit field where the children played without a care in the world. "Sometimes I fear that I'll lose control. That my demon self will take over and that I will hurt you." He gave a sad shake of his head. "When I get angry..."
"Is that why you always shimmer when we fight?" Phoebe asked.
He nodded without looking at her.
"Oh Cole..." She knelt next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He rested his face against her shoulder. It tore her heart to see him hurting. She could only imagine the battle he fought within, how he grappled with the call of evil in his blood. She brushed a finger across his cheek and kissed his temple. "I love you, Cole Turner," she whispered. "And I trust you. I know you: you're strong enough to resist and do what is good. But Cole?"
He looked up.
"I don't want you to keep these things from me. I want you to tell me when it gets difficult, okay?"
Cole swallowed and nodded. "I promise."
* * *
As the sun raced for the horizon, they packed up and began to walk home. This time Cole carried the baby. He pulled funny faces that made Melinda crow her joy. Phoebe watched them and smiled. Her skin was flushed where the sun had scorched her. However, the heat within was more intense; her heart glowed with love for her man. Perhaps they could never have children of their own. Yet they had so much love between them. They would find a way. They always did.
--END-
Author notes: I wrote this story in response to the many stories out there that have Phoebe either pregnant with, or the mom to Cole's child(ren). The man is of demonic descent; it can't be as simple as that!
Thanks to everyone who responded to my question about the name of Piper's first-born. I did go with Melinda after all, since it seemed the most logical. Also, much thanks go out to Tracy who helped enormously with the baby stuff - any errors are mine, not hers.
PEDIGREE
Phoebe's eyes flashed with indignation. She placed her hands on her hips and gave Cole a look that would have withered the Source himself.
Not so Cole. He met her stare and glowered straight back at her, his jaw set in anger.
"You--," Phoebe began but before she could say another word, he shimmered and was gone. "Aargh!" she screamed at the empty room. "Damn you!" He *always* did that when they were quarreling!
She grabbed for the first object at hand -a vase that fortunately held no flowers- and flung it with all her might at the spot where Cole had stood. The vase struck the far wall and shattered to a thousand pieces. "Damn you," she repeated in a mutter. She exhaled a sob and stared at the shards of white porcelain. After a few minutes she wiped the tears from her face and went to get a broom to clear away the rubble.
They didn't fight often, she and Cole. The few arguments they did have came on fast and furious, lightning storms that struck out of nowhere. And like those storms, they cleared the air. Once their fury was spent, the harsh words were soon forgotten.
Phoebe dropped the remnants of the vase in the trashcan and closed the lid. Yes, the making-up afterward was worth the trouble. She already couldn't wait for Cole to come back home.
That, she pondered while she put the broom back in the closet, was the one thing that truly bothered her about the infrequent fights: Cole's tendency to shimmer in the middle of an argument. It was not easy to have an old-fashioned shouting match when the person you hollered at disappeared into thin air while you were busy doing the yelling.
Phoebe chuckled. Of course she and Cole weren't a run of the mill couple. A witch and a demon, who would have guessed? She heated some water, made herself a cup of tea and sat down at the kitchen table to wait for Cole's return.
To all outward appearances they were an ordinary pair. Phoebe was still in college while Cole continued to work as a prosecutor. It had taken a lot of persuasion before the office took him back. Then again, she philosophized with pride, he was too good at his job for them to let him go: he barely ever lost a case. No one but her knew that his near-perfect record was because he had an infallible talent to determine guilt or innocence in a suspect.
No, it was when people were *not* looking that things got odd. Evils of the dark side hunted them. Demons, warlocks, they all wanted to win the price that was on their heads. That was why she always worried when Cole shimmered. The underworld creatures would have a hard time surprising them on their home turf San Francisco. But Phoebe had no idea where Cole went when he shimmered. In any of the realms he passed through, demons might be lurking and waiting to kill him.
A knock on the door startled her from her reflections. She downed the last sip of the tea that had gone cold and went to answer the door. Cole stood at the other side, his hand raised for another knock. Phoebe's heart skipped a beat with relief at the sight. Without a word, she stepped away to let him in.
"Forgot the key," he mumbled.
"Oh." The silence was deafening. Outside a cable car drove by, tolling its bells.
"I'm sorry," Phoebe said, at the same moment that Cole did. They stared at each other, then began to laugh.
"I love you." Cole opened his arms in invitation.
Phoebe's eyes lit up and she smiled. She stepped into his embrace, wrapped her arms around his chest and raised her face until their lips met. "I love you too."
* * *
Afterward, when their skins were still damp with perspiration and the musky scent of passion was heavy in the air, Phoebe rested her cheek upon his chest. For long minutes she listened to his heartbeat, enjoyed the steady rise and fall of her head in rhythm with his breathing.
"Cole?"
"Mmm?" He brushed a strand of hair from her face and she lifted her head to meet his eyes.
"Why do you always shimmer when we argue?"
As soon as the words left her lips, Cole tensed. He lifted her up off his chest and rolled away. His shirt and pants lay rumpled on the floor and he reached for them.
"I can't tell you that, Phoebe," he said. "I don't know why."
It was a lie; Phoebe knew it at once. She recognized the way he averted to look at her. Ever since that first, terrible lie had come out, Cole found it impossible to deceive her. Even white lies, about the quality of her cooking or when he wanted to surprise her with a weekend trip out of town, she always recognized them.
"Cole--"
"Please, Phoebe!" His voice was as tense as his posture.
Phoebe frowned. She sensed danger; another lightning storm was brewing over the horizon. A second quarrel so soon after the first one, that had never happened. She decided to drop the subject. He would tell her in due time, she was sure of it.
"Piper is bringing baby Melinda over tomorrow afternoon," she changed the topic. "The Weather Channel predicts a beautiful day, so I was thinking about taking her to the park."
Cole visibly relaxed and he turned around to face her. "That's a great idea. You know what, I think I can manage to take a few hours off. I could come with you, if you like."
"That'd be wonderful! Melinda loves her Uncle Cole."
Cole raised an eyebrow. "Just Melinda?"
Phoebe sat up. She was unaware of the way the moonlight, which fell in through the window, played with her hair and across her bare skin. She was, however, very aware of the sudden change in Cole's expression. Love and lust mingled on his face and he gave her a wolfish grin. Phoebe giggled and held out her hands.
"I love you too."
Cole's clothes soon found themselves discarded on the floor again.
* * *
"Blanket, bottle, Melinda's Bunny..." Phoebe ran down the list on her fingers. "Rocking Rings..." She reached for a colorful toy that rattled when she picked it up. She added it to the backpack on the kitchen table. "Wipes. What else?"
"Diapers!" Piper reminded her. She handed a couple of Pampers to her sister who stuffed them in her pack.
"Of course," Phoebe smiled. She stooped to nuzzle her young niece until the little girl giggled. "We don't want you to have an accident, do we?" Melinda sat in the portable car seat that Piper had parked upon the kitchen table. The toddler's attention was on the straps of Phoebe's backpack and she kept grabbing for them.
The front door opened and a moment later Cole strolled into the kitchen.
"Hey, Handsome," Phoebe smiled.
Cole shoved his briefcase under the table and dipped his head to brush his lips along her temple. "Hey yourself. Hi, Piper."
"Hello, Cole," Piper replied.
Cole made a face at Melinda that caused her to bubble with laughter. "Let me change into something more comfortable," he motioned at the three-piece suit -his court clothes Phoebe called them- "and I'm ready to go." He turned to Piper. "It is okay if we take Melinda to the park, isn't it?"
"Yeah, sure. She loves it out. Keep a close eye on her; she's starting to figure out how to crawl. She's that age, you know. Although," Piper added with a fond chuckle, "so far she only managed to go backwards instead of forwards."
Phoebe laughed. "Really? That is too cute!"
Piper beamed with pride. "Well, I better be off then. I'm double-parked. You have my cell phone number, so call if anything happens."
"Sure," Phoebe said. She nudged her sister in the direction of the door. "We'll take good care of her, don't worry about it."
"Okay." Piper sighed. "Bye bye, Melinda." She kept blowing kisses at her daughter while she allowed Phoebe to steer her to the front door.
Cole changed clothes as Phoebe finished packing. "Amazing how much one needs for a trip to the park with a little child," she laughed as she handed Cole the backpack. She lifted Melinda from the seat and placed her in a baby carrier that she could strap to her chest. "Ready to go."
* * *
The Weather Channel made good on its promise. The sun stood high in a bright blue sky with a soft breeze blowing in from across the bay. Cole took Phoebe's hand and their fingers laced while they walked down the hill and entered the park grounds.
Phoebe looked around for the perfect spot to have their picnic. They weren't the only people to take advantage of the pleasant summer's day. Men and women with bronzed skins covered in colorful spandex jogged on the paths. Pensioners sat gossiping on the wood benches. Children played catch in the field and their voices rose with laughter whenever they missed the ball.
"Over there?" Phoebe pointed at a cluster of trees with the fresh green leaves of early summer. The dotted shade would give them some protection from the sun.
"Looks good to me." Cole pulled the blanket from the pack and spread it out in the grass. Phoebe kneeled and shifted the baby carrier from her shoulders. She helped Melinda out of the carrier and placed the girl on the blanket. The baby's gaze flickered as she tried to take in all the activities she saw. Her eyes glimmered with excitement.
"Eh eh eh!" Melinda gurgled. Her grin revealed the two teeth that she had recently grown and she hopped up and down on her bottom.
Phoebe chuckled. "You like this, huh?"
"Eh eh eh!"
Phoebe gave her niece the colorful Rings to play with and Melinda began stacking and unstacking them from their pole right away. Every once in a while, she shook a ring, filled with little beads, and crowed at the rattle she created.
"Ah, I could get used to this," Cole sighed. He had planted himself on the blanket and lay on his side, one hand beneath his head. "It sure beats pleading to a sleepy jury in a musty court room."
"It was nice that you could take off from work," Phoebe agreed.
He shrugged. "I will have to put in some time tonight," he confessed. "I need to have the indictment for the Tierney case finished by tomorrow."
Phoebe nestled herself in his arms without taking her eyes off of Melinda.
"That's all right. I should do some work on my thesis anyway. I want to get it finished so I can graduate before the summer's over."
"Hmmm," Cole muttered. He dipped his head and started nibbling on her ear while his free hand slipped beneath her shirt to draw lazy circles on her bare stomach.
Delicious shivers ran along Phoebe's spine. She was about to turn up her face to offer her mouth for a kiss when she stiffened and jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. "Look at that!"
"Ow!" Cole coughed. "I see it."
Melinda had thrown one of her rings, a bright red one, out of reach. Unaware of the eyes that watched her, she pushed herself up on her hands and knees and step by little step crawled toward the ring. Once she reached it, she hesitated a moment before lifting a small hand to grab the red toy. However, she found that keeping upright on three limbs instead of four demanded more expertise than she had. She lost her balance and toppled over.
"Oops..." Phoebe said.
Melinda opened her mouth to voice her bitter disappointment.
Phoebe disentangled herself from Cole's arms to jump to her feet. She picked the little girl up and asserted she was unharmed. "Oh honey. It is so frustrating, isn't it?" It was hard not to laugh at the baby's antics when she knew that all her niece had hurt was her pride.
Phoebe turned to see Cole watch them with a curious expression on his face. "What?" she laughed. "What are you looking at?"
"You," he replied. "You're so good with kids."
She smiled and set the baby back down on the blanket. When Phoebe handed her the red ring, Melinda forgot all about her tumble in the grass. She shook the ring until it rattled, then dropped it in favor of a blue one.
"You think so?" Phoebe said. "That's good. One day I want to have kids of my own. Lots of them." She grinned mischievously as she leaned in to kiss Cole. He averted her lips and sat up to stare at the far horizon.
She sensed the change in his mood and plopped down beside him. "What is it?" she asked. "What's bothering you?"
"Nothing."
"C'mon Cole," she said. "This is me, Phoebe. Please talk to me."
Cole hesitated before he turned to look at her. The forlorn expression in his gray eyes shocked her. "If you want to have children," he said, drawing out the words, "I'm not the man for you."
A furrow appeared between her brows. "You don't want kids? I know we never talked about it but I assumed-- I mean, if you don't want them..." Her voice trailed off. They had never discussed the subject before, not even when Piper had Melinda. What if Cole didn't want children? How important was having a child of her own to her? Phoebe loved her niece, yet she also loved Cole.
Cole grabbed her hand. "It's not that I don't want to," he said. "I would love to have a child with you, Phoebe. But I can't."
She stared at him in confusion. "What do you m--" Then it dawned on her. "Oh, you mean that you...?" She didn't finish the question.
Cole growled with frustration. "No Phoebe, that's not what I mean! I *can* procreate. But I won't. I'm a half-demon, remember? Our children would have a quarter of demonic blood. It's not something I want for them."
Phoebe fell silent and plucked at the blanket. Her eyes sought Melinda. Exhausted by all the exercise, the little girl had fallen asleep on the blanket, her tiny fingers curled around her toy.
"I admit I sometimes forget about your... ancestry," Phoebe muttered. She lifted her head to face him. "You're human now! You fought it. And our children--"
"I am still fighting!" Cole gritted his teeth. "Phoebe, you have no idea what it's like. The struggle I go through *every day* to keep Belthazor subdued. He's a part of me that's always there, in my head. He whispers to me every second that I'm awake. And at night, he haunts my dreams. That is NOT a heritage I care to pass on."
"I'm sorry," Phoebe whispered. She placed her hand on his arm. "I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?"
Cole shrugged. "I was afraid," he admitted. "Afraid to frighten you, afraid that you would stop trusting me." He pulled up his knees, wrapped his hands around them and stared out across the sunlit field where the children played without a care in the world. "Sometimes I fear that I'll lose control. That my demon self will take over and that I will hurt you." He gave a sad shake of his head. "When I get angry..."
"Is that why you always shimmer when we fight?" Phoebe asked.
He nodded without looking at her.
"Oh Cole..." She knelt next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He rested his face against her shoulder. It tore her heart to see him hurting. She could only imagine the battle he fought within, how he grappled with the call of evil in his blood. She brushed a finger across his cheek and kissed his temple. "I love you, Cole Turner," she whispered. "And I trust you. I know you: you're strong enough to resist and do what is good. But Cole?"
He looked up.
"I don't want you to keep these things from me. I want you to tell me when it gets difficult, okay?"
Cole swallowed and nodded. "I promise."
* * *
As the sun raced for the horizon, they packed up and began to walk home. This time Cole carried the baby. He pulled funny faces that made Melinda crow her joy. Phoebe watched them and smiled. Her skin was flushed where the sun had scorched her. However, the heat within was more intense; her heart glowed with love for her man. Perhaps they could never have children of their own. Yet they had so much love between them. They would find a way. They always did.
--END-
Author notes: I wrote this story in response to the many stories out there that have Phoebe either pregnant with, or the mom to Cole's child(ren). The man is of demonic descent; it can't be as simple as that!
Thanks to everyone who responded to my question about the name of Piper's first-born. I did go with Melinda after all, since it seemed the most logical. Also, much thanks go out to Tracy who helped enormously with the baby stuff - any errors are mine, not hers.