Title: He Didn't Have to Be
Author: Stephanie Wheatley, thewheatmeister@hotmail.com
Summary: Three years after 'Goodbyes', Harm comes back to JAG to find that things have changed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harm, Mac, and the rest. I'd love to have Harm for awhile, though. And
the song is Brad Paisley's.
Dedication: To my Jakey-Tubbie...God gave you a wonderful gift of a father. And He gave me a
wonderful gift when He allowed me to become a small part of your life. You're a very lucky
little boy.
****************************************************************************
Three years after 'Goodbyes'
JAG Headquarters
1500 EST
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb strode through the halls of his old stomping grounds. He missed this place. His truest friends and fondest memories were here.
"Harm!"
He looked up and saw Harriet Sims-Roberts come rushing toward him. Smiling, he opened his arms and gave her a big hug. "How are you, Harriet?"
"I'm doing well, sir. We've missed you."
"I've missed you too. Is Mac around?"
"Yeah. Try her office."
"Okay, thanks Harriet." Harm strode toward the bullpen. Many people stopped to say 'Hi,' but he didn't hear any of them. He just wanted to see his best friend. Knocking on her door frame, he poked his head in the open door. "Hey, jarhead," he said, by way of greeting.
"Harm!" Mac bolted out of her chair and raced to give her former partner and best friend a hug. "You didn't tell me you were coming."
"I wanted to surprise you. Did it work?"
Mac responded with a playful slap on the arm. "Squid."
"Hey, what are you doing for dinner tonight?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"You wanna go out, catch up on stuff?"
"Um, I don't know if I can, Harm."
"You just said you didn't have plans. What's up?"
"Okay. Where should I meet you and when?"
"Hey, hey. I'll pick you up at 1900."
"You don't have to do that, Harm," Mac said hastily.
"Of course I don't, but I'm going to, anyways."
"Okay," Mac said nervously.
"What's wrong, Mac? You seem kinda jumpy."
"It's nothing. I'm sure you've got other people to see. I'll see you at 1900." With that, Mac sat back down at her desk and engrossed herself in her latest case. Harm shook his head in confusion and walked out of her office.
****************************************************************************
1858 EST
Mac's Building
Mac hurried down the stairs to the door before Harm could come up to her apartment. "Hey," she said, opening the front door of her building.
"I could have come up and gotten you, Mac."
"You shouldn't have to see my apartment, Harm. It's a mess."
"So? When has that ever been a problem?"
"Let's just go to dinner, alright?" Mac said, desperate to get away from there. "We've got a lot to talk about."
"Yeah," Harm murmured as he got back in his SUV. "Yeah, we do."
****************************************************************************
1915 EST
Restaurant
Harm looked across the table at Mac. She had been acting weird all night. Reaching across the table, he placed his hand over hers. "Mac, what's wrong? I know we haven't seen each other in over three years, and I'm so sorry, but you've been acting weird all day."
Mac looked at him and smiled ashamedly. "I'm sorry, Harm. It's just that I haven't been out for so long and the men I've gone out with don't want to have anything to do with me after they find out..."
"Find out what, Mac?"
She let out a sigh and reached into her purse. Pulling out her wallet, she opened to and slid it across the table to Harm. He found himself staring at a picture of an adorable little boy, about two years old with big brown eyes and a smile that would melt a person's heart. "Men don't want to have anything to do with me when they find out about Matt. Harm, that's my son, Matthew Harmon Mackenzie."
"Your son?"
"Yeah," Mac said, smiling shyly. "I hope you don't mind. It's just that you're such an important person to me and he needed a middle name, and..."
"I'm honored, Mac."
"He was born three months premature. For a while, no one knew if he'd make it. But he's strong."
"Just like his mom."
"Thanks," Mac said, blushing. "For a year after he was born, I didn't go out much because he was so sick and I didn't want to leave him. For the past 18 months or so, I've gone out a few times. But as soon as the guy I'm out with finds out about Matt, he runs. Men don't want a two for one deal, but I don't feel like I should have to apologize for having another man in my life."
"Especially one as cute as he is. You have nothing to apologize for, Mac. If I had a son as cute as him, I wouldn't let anyone get in the way of my relationship with him, either. What about his father? Where's he?"
"I don't know. I don't even remember his name. I'm so ashamed, because I'm not a one night stand kind of person, but after you left, I was so hurt that I really didn't care."
"Why didn't you tell me about your pregnancy, Mac? You know I would have been here to help."
"That's exactly why I didn't tell you, Harm. I didn't want you to put your life on hold because of my mistake."
"Now, Mac, you let me decide what to do with my life. But the important thing is that I'm here now and you have a free baby sitter anytime you need one."
"But you'll have to go back soon."
"Nope. I changed my designator back. I'm transferring back to JAG."
"Really?" Mac asked excitedly.
"Yep."
"That's great, Harm. I'm glad you're coming back. I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too, jarhead."
Dinner came and they ate in silence. After Harm had paid, Mac said, "I hate to ditch out on you so early, but can you go ahead and take me home? I hate to leave Matt all day and then at night, too."
"Sure thing. That is, if I can meet this new man in your life."
"I think that can be arranged."
"Then you've got yourself a deal, Col. Mackenzie."
"Glad to hear it, Cmdr. Rabb."
****************************************************************************
2100 EST
Mac's Apartment
Mac opened the door and walked into her apartment, followed by Harm. "Hi, Jenny," she said to her babysitter. "How was he?"
"Pretty good. He cried a little when I put him down, but I think that's because you weren't here."
"Harm, this is Jenny Anderson. Her family lives just down the hall. Jenny, this is Cmdr. Harmon Rabb."
"As is Harm, Matt's namesake?"
"Guilty as charged," he replied, shaking her hand.
Mac pulled some money from her purse and handed it to Jenny. "Thanks again, Jenny. Matt loves spending time with you."
"Don't mention it, Sarah. He's a great little boy," the girl said as she walked out the door.
"Mommy!" a little voice said. Harm and Mac turned in the direction of the voice.
"Hey, baby," Mac said, scooping him up off the floor. "Did you miss me?"
"Uh-huh."
"Matt, I want you to meet my friend, Harm."
"Hi," the little boy mumbled as he buried his head in his mother's neck.
"Hey, buddy," Harm said to the child's back. "Can you give me a smile, Matt?" Slowly the little boy looked up and turned to Harm. Upon seeing the smile on the nice man's face, he returned the favor. "That's better," Harm said.
"Matt, we need to get you to bed," Mac said in her best motherly voice. "Can you tell Harm bye?"
"Bye bye."
"Sweet dreams, Matt," Harm said as Mac carried her son to his room. Harm went to the refrigerator and got out a couple of bottles of water, then sat down on the couch and waited for Mac to finish tucking her son in. When she entered the living room again, she was surprised to see her former partner, but always best friend, sitting on the couch.
"You're still here," she said.
"Yeah. I was hoping we could talk a little bit more."
"Okay," Mac said, sitting next to Harm and taking the bottle of water he offered her.
"Mac, I understand why you didn't tell me about Matt, but it still hurts. Best friends are supposed to know important things about each other like the fact that one of them has had a kid."
"I'm sorry, Harm. I was embarrassed, and I already had people breathing down my neck about who his father was and why I'd done it and asking me if I was okay. I didn't want more of that with you. It was easier when we talked to pretend everything was normal. If you could call our friendship normal."
Harm set his water on the table in front of them and leaned over to embrace his partner. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Mac. If I hadn't left the way I did, this never would have happened."
"No, Harm. Don't ever think that I wish this hadn't happened. First of all, yes, I wanted you to stay. But as a friend, I knew I had to let you go, because you would have spent the rest of your life wondering what you could have done. And as far as what happened while you were gone, do I regret having that one night stand? Yes. Do I regret Matt? Absolutely not. Harm, I've never been a very religious person, but Matt is my proof that there is a God somewhere. He has changed my outlook on life so much. Every day I have with him is a miracle, because he almost didn't make it. There have been days I've come home from work feeling like I've accomplished nothing good. But then I get home and Matt is so happy to see me and he gives me this big hug, and everything is better. Don't feel bad about following your dreams, Harm. It all worked out in the end."
"I'm glad you're happy. I don't think I've ever seen you quite this happy before, Mac."
"I don't think I've ever been this happy before," she replied with a yawn. "Man, I'm tired."
"It's been an interesting day," Harm agreed, standing. "I'll let you two get some sleep."
"I'm so glad you're back," Mac said, also standing.
"I'm glad I'm back, too. Hey, tomorrow's Saturday. What are you and Matt doing tomorrow afternoon?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"Great. I'll pick you up at 1300. We'll go to the park and have a picnic and enjoy the nice weather. I'll take care of everything."
"Harm, you don't have to..."
"I know that, Mac. I want to. What do you say? 1300 good?"
"Sure."
"Great. See you tomorrow, Mac."
"Yeah. Tomorrow," Mac replied, closing the door behind him, wondering what this meant for their friendship.
****************************************************************************
'When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run'
****************************************************************************
The Next Day
A park in DC
1330 EST
Harm and Mac unloaded all their picnic essentials from Harm's SUV. After laying out a blanket under a big shade tree, he proceeded to set out the food he had brought with him. "You thought of everything, didn't you, Harm?" Mac asked, looking at the feast in appreciation.
"Yep. Complete with sparkling cider for us," he replied, pulling the bottle out of the picnic basket, followed by two champagne glasses.
Matt climbed out of his mother's lap and toddled over to Harm. After getting over his initial shyness around Harm, the boy had taken a shine to him. Looking up at him with big brown eyes, Matt said simply, "Food, Hawm."
"You hungry, big guy?" Harm asked with a smile. "I've got just the thing for you." Harm opened one of the containers from the picnic basket and handed Matt a gooey peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Matt grabbed the sandwich greedily and began to devour it. "Matthew," Mac said, "What do you tell Harm?"
"Fank you," the little boy said through a mouthful of the sandwich. With him occupied, Harm and Mac began making sandwiches from the deli meat, cheese, chicken salad, and veggies Harm had picked up.
When he had polished his off, Harm opened the sparkling cider and poured it into the glasses. Handing one to Mac, he said, "Here's to our renewed friendship. And to Matt, one of God's small miracles."
"Cheers," Mac said with a smile. The three of them finished lunch, and Matt wanted to go play on the playground several yards away. Harm swooped him off the ground and spent the next hour pushing him on the swings, going down the slide with him, and chasing him around in the grass. Mac looked on with tears in her eyes. Since she found out she was pregnant, she had dreamt of having a real family. For a long time, she was convinced that for some reason, God didn't think she deserved that kind of happiness, but now she wasn't so sure. Harm was a natural with Matt. He hadn't shied away from her son at all, like the other men she'd been seeing. Mac hoped against all hope that there could be something between her and Harm. She had hoped that for a long time, but things kept getting in the way. 'This time,' she promised herself, 'this time, I won't let anything get in the way of my happiness.'
Mac's reverie was interupted when Harm and Matt approached the blanket. Harm laid Matt down on the blanket and the boy immeadiately curled up and went to sleep. Harm looked up at Mac and smiled. "I guess I wore him out."
"Looks like it," Mac agreed, trying to hide the redness and puffiness around her eyes.
"Mac? What's wrong?" Harm asked, sitting down beside her.
"I'm a terrible person, Harm."
"Hey," he said gently, pulling her into his embrace. Leaning back against the trunk of the tree they sat under, he said, "You aren't a terrible person, Mac. What on earth made you say that?"
"What am I going to tell Matt when he's old enough to start asking about his father? If he asks who his dad is, what do I tell him?"
"You're worried he's going to think less of you, aren't you?"
"Yeah. What do I say to him, Harm? Your mother's a whore and she doesn't even remember the name of the guy she slept with the night you were concieved. He'll hate me, Harm."
"Mac, that little boy worships the ground you walk on. You're his mommy and as long as he has your love, he'll be happy. When he's old enough to understand everything that's happened the past few years, he'll understand what happened."
"Do you understand, Harm? Do you think I'm a whore?"
"Oh, God, Mac," he said, holding her tighter. "No, I don't think you're a whore. I think you're human and humans make mistakes. I can only imagine how hurt you were when I left. I was so euphoric about flying again, I totally forgot about your feelings. You needed me, and I let you down."
Harm felt Mac stiffen. It was as if those walls she had learned to construct around herself had magically reappeared. "I don't need anyone," she said gruffly.
Harm gently forced her chin up with his hand and made her look him in the eye. "That's a bunch of crap, Marine, and you know it. I know you want to be the bad ass Marine who can carry the whole world on her shoulders, but we both know that's not true. Mac, you're a person, just like me, and people need each other. It's the nature of the beast. Look, it takes more courage to admit that you can't do it all alone than it does to try and do it without help."
"Maybe you're right," she murmured into his chest.
"Just like it takes more courage to duck than it does to stay where you are when bullets are flying," Harm continued, kiddingly.
"I've already told you, Harm. I'm a Marine. We don't duck."
"Oh, yeah. You take cover."
"Damn straight."
"Well, whatever it is you do, Mac, you don't have to do it alone."
"I guess what bothers me about the night I got pregnant was that I was out of control. I felt almost like I used to when I was drunk. I wasn't in control. But the scary thing is that when I was drunk, I didn't exactly lose control willingly. I mean, I did, but the alcohol had something to do with it, too. But that night, I was perfectly sober and I allowed myself to get in that position."
"I understand what you're saying, Mac. But did you learn from that experience?"
"God, you sound like Uncle Matt."
"Well? Did you learn from it or not?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, then. It wasn't all bad. Besides, look at that little guy over there," Harm said. "Doesn't he make it all worth it?"
"Yeah," Mac said with a proud smile.
"See. That mistake might have been the best thing to happen to you."
"Why is it that you can always make sense of the chaos in my life?"
"Because I know you. And you know me, better than anyone else probably ever has."
"Ditto," Mac agreed.
"You deserve to be happy, Mac. You're a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful woman and you deserve the best."
"Well, I'm pretty happy right now. I've got the two most important people in the world with me right now," she murmured, lifting her head off Harm's chest and smiling up at him.
"Well if you're happy, I'm on top of the world. Mac, I feel more freedom with you than I ever have in any Tomcat. You've heard all about my obsessions and my crazy, messed up feelings, and my fears, and you've just accepted it all without question."
"Harm, in all the years I've known you, that's got to be the most poetic thing I've ever heard you say."
"Yeah, well, being away from the most important person in your life for three years can do that to a guy."
"I'm glad you're back, Harm."
"Me too, Ninja Girl."
****************************************************************************
Harm spent a better part of the evening trying to figure out his feelings. After dropping Mac and Matt off at their apartment, he drove aimlessly around DC, trying desparately to sort out his feelings for his partner. After several hours of contemplating their relationship, Harm decided that the best thing to do would be to talk to her. So he left his apartment, got in his SUV, and drove off to Mac's apartment.
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Mac's Apartment
2130 EST
Harm knocked softly on the door. "Hey," Mac said quietly, closing the door behind him. "Matt's asleep."
"Yeah, I figured."
"What's up?"
"We need to talk, Mac."
"Okay," she said, sitting down beside him on the couch.
"I went back to flying because I was looking for that something that would make me whole. I thought flying was it, and it took me long enough, but I finally figured out that flying wasn't it. I had gone off searching for something that was right under my nose."
"What are you saying, Harm?"
"Maybe I tried to deny it, maybe I really didn't realize it, maybe I was just blind. Maybe I was afraid of the consequences of telling you how I feel."
"And how do you feel?"
"I still don't quite have that figured out, Sarah. But I was hoping maybe you'd help me figure that out."
"What are you suggesting, Commander?" Mac said with a smile.
"Sarah, would you like to go out sometime?"
"Harm, are you asking me out on a date?"
"One of many, I hope," Harm said nervously.
Noticing the reddening of his cheeks, Mac kidded, "Harmon Rabb, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were nervous."
"Don't tell anyone."
"Your secret's safe with me."
"Well? Would you like to go out sometime?"
"See, there's this slight problem. You promised me free baby-sitting. How can you do that and take me out at the same time?"
"That's not a problem. I pay for Jenny to baby-sit Matt."
"Oh, well, okay."
"You're evading the question, Mac."
"Yes, I'd like to go out sometime."
"Good."
"What did you have in mind?"
"Well, maybe an early dinner, then we could come back here real quick so you could tuck Matt in, then to a late movie."
Mac leaned over and kissed Harm softly on the cheek. "You're amazing," she said.
"Why?"
"Because you don't mind coming back here for a few minutes to I can say goodnight to my son."
"Sarah, as much as I care about you, I realize that I'm not the most important person in your life. That sweet little boy is. And I would never ask you to put me ahead of him. It's not fair to you and it's definitely not fair to him. Matt needs his mommy more than Harmon Rabb needs his best friend, Mac."
"I love you, Harm. I'm not sure I ever realized how much I loved you until you got back. The fact that you love me, but would never ask me to put my love for you above my love for my son makes me love you even more."
"I've never said I love you, Sarah," Harm said, uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was heading in.
"You don't have to, Harm. I can see it in your eyes and how you treat me. I might have been blind before too, Harm, but I'm not anymore. I know it seems like we're moving faster than a Tomcat here, but when you stop to think about it, we really aren't. When was the first time you realized you loved me?"
"When I was dangling from that helo and you pulled me in."
"It took you long enough. I knew from the minute the admiral introduced us in the Rose Garden that I loved you."
"So much for, 'Don't get too close. You have to work together,'" Harm said with a smile, wrapping his arms around Sarah's waist and holding her close. Harm looked down to see his partner laughing through her tears. "Hey, Mac. What's wrong?"
"Do you know how long it's been since I've been this close to someone, Harm? Or how long it's been since a man has kissed me?"
"Judging from the reaction, far too long," he replied as he lowered his head and touched his lips gently to hers. "But that's all gonna stop now. Because I do love you, Sarah Mackenzie. More than I've ever loved anyone else. And I love Matt as well, even though I've only known him for two days. And from now on, you'll never have to worry about loneliness again. I promise."
Mac turned and wrapped her arms around Harm's waist. Resting her face on his chest, she murmured, "I love you, too."
****************************************************************************
From that moment on, Harm and Mac had never been happier. They didn't let anyone know about their romance, because neither of them wanted to be the center of office gossip and they didn't want to be split up as partners. They went out at least twice a week, and every date was the same. At roughly 1930, they would return briefly to Mac's apartment so she could say goodnight to Matt. After several months, Harm began taking part in the bedtime ritual as well, reading Matt a bedtime story or singing him to sleep. Every time Mac saw Harm and her son together she fell deeper in love with Harm. Around the time Matt's 3rd birthday was drawing close, Harm and Mac began to discuss the idea of telling Bud, Harriet, and the admiral about them. After much discussion, especially about the career ramifications, they decided they did want to share their happiness with those closest to them. What Mac didn't know was that Harm had a little extra surprise up his sleeve for her.
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1830 EST
Harm's Apartment
Mac paced the apartment nervously. Harm looked up from the food he was preparing and put down the knife in his hand. Wiping his hands quickly on a towel, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Relax, Marine," he whispered in her ear.
"What are we doing, Harm? We could be throwing our careers out the window here."
"Hey...We've discussed this, Mac. No matter what happens, we want to be together, right?"
"Yeah."
"And we want our friends to know how happy we are, right?"
"Yeah."
"And the admiral was accomodating with Bud and Harriet, right?"
"Yeah."
"Then we have nothing to worry about, right?"
Mac turned in his embrace and looked up at him. Giving him a quick kiss, she said, "Don't look so smug. You're not always right."
"But I'm right about this."
"Yeah, you are."
"I love you, Jarhead."
"Love you, too, Squid."
The doorbell rang, and Mac escaped Harm's embrace to answer it. "Hi, Jenny. Come on in."
"Jenny!" Matt said, emerging from Harm's bedroom and flinging himself at his baby sitter.
"Hey, buddy," she said, scooping him up in her arms. "C'mon, kiddo. Let's go get some toys out so you and AJ can have something to play with."
"Thanks for doing this, Jenny," Harm said.
"Hey, it's no problem. You know I love spending time with Matt. And little AJ's fun, too. A good time should be had by all tonight." With that, Jenny carried Matt back to the bedroom and they began playing with the toys Sarah kept at Harm's house.
The doorbell rang again, and Harm went to open the door. "Bud, Harriet, come on in. AJ, Jenny and Matt are in my bedroom playing with toys." AJ went racing off to the bedroom and Bud and Harriet came in and closed the door behind them.
"Can we do anything to help, Mac?" Harriet inquired.
"Well, you can set the table if you'd like."
"I can do that. So, how many people are you expecting tonight?"
"Oh, let's see," Mac paused and thought about the people who had been invited. "There's the four of us, the Admiral, Sydney, Clay, and Bobbie Latham, so that's...8 people."
"We'll get right on it, won't we Bud?"
"Yes," her husband replied obediantly.
Bud and Harriet began setting the table while Mac answered the door and Harm finished dinner. Once all of the guests had arrived, they all sat down to a full spaghetti dinner.
"Harm, this is delicious," Bobbie Latham said, between bites.
"Thanks," Harm replied, as the others murmured their agreement. It didn't take long for the food to disappear, and then everyone moved to the living room to talk.
"So, tell me, Harm," Clayton Webb began. "Why exactly are we all here? I know it's not Matt's birthday because he's already had the big party with his friends, so what is it?"
"Always the spy, aren't you, Clay?" Mac asked dryly. "Actually, we invited you all over here because we wanted our closest friends to hear our news first."
"Well, don't keep us in suspense, Colonel," Admiral Chegwidden said. "What news are you so happy about sharing?"
"Well, sir," Harm began, "Since my return from flight duty, Mac and I have renewed our friendship, and in the process...fallen in love."
Harriet, ever the matchmaker, was the first to respond. "Oh, Harm, Sarah, that's wonderful! I always knew you two were perfect for each other!"
"Congratulations, Sarah," Bobbie said, standing to give her friend a hug. As she hugged Harm, she said, not so softly, "It's about time you two got your heads out of your sixes. For such smart people..."
"You two sure were blind," Webb finished. "Harm, Mac, I'm glad you've finally seen what the rest of us have known for years."
"Agreed," AJ said. "We'll deal with this in the office tomorrow, but I'll take care of everything. Admiral's priviledge is a wonderful thing."
Sydney looked at her date and said, "You were right, AJ. You told me the first time I asked you about Harm and Sarah that they were perfect for each other."
Harriet looked at her husband, who was staring at Harm and Mac, his mouth gaping open. Elbowing him, she said, "Bud, say something."
Before Bud could gather himself, there was the pitter patter of little feet racing toward them. "Daddy!" a little boy exclaimed. Everyone looked toward Bud, expecting to see little AJ wrapped around his leg. No one was more surprised than Harm to see Matt flinging his little body at Harm. There was a stunned silence in the room as Mac turned to Harm and saw the tears starting to collect in his eyes: tears she knew were mirror images of the ones in her own eyes.
"He called me 'Daddy,'" Harm whispered, gathering the little boy into his embrace. Looking at Mac, he said, "Is that okay with Mommy?"
Hastily wiping her eyes, Mac leaned over and gave Harm a gentle kiss. "It's music to my ears," she replied.
'Big' AJ cleared his throat, breaking the couple out of their reverie. "I take it this is a first?"
"Yes, sir," Harm said, wiping his own eyes.
"He adores you, Harm," the admiral commented. "You cherish every minute you have with him, because he'll be all grown up before you know it."
"Yes, sir," the younger man said.
"Harm?" Jenny asked, coming out of the bedroom. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?"
"No," Harm said, looking up at her smiling. "Matt just called me Daddy."
"Congratualations, Daddy," the girl said with a smile. "Would you like me to take your son off your hands?"
"No," Harm said looking down at the little boy on his lap. "He's fine right where he is. Have you eaten, Jenny? We've got plenty of spaghetti left over."
"Thanks. I think I'll have some."
"Help yourself. Get some for the boys while you're at it."
"Okay," she replied, retrieving plates from the cabinet.
"This has been a big night for you two," Bobbie commented.
"No," Mac said, "It's been a big night for all three of us."
"And it's not over yet," Harm said cryptically.
"What do you mean?" Harriet asked.
Rather than answer her, Harm called to Jenny, "Hey, Jenn, can you watch the boys for awhile? We're going to take a little trip."
"No problem," she replied. "We'll be here when you get back."
"Great," Harm said, "Let's go."
The eight of them left Harm's apartment and headed downstairs. "Where exactly are we going?" AJ asked.
"Well, sir, if you could take Webb, Bobbie, and Sydney in your car, and follow me, you'll find out."
"I'm intrigued," Webb commented.
"I'll take that as a compliment, Webb."
"As well you should, Rabb."
Bud and Harriet got in the back seat of Harm's SUV while Mac joined him up front, and they all took off to an unknown destination. "Where exactly are we going, Harm?" Mac asked, weaving her fingers with his.
"You'll find out soon enough, Sarah."
****************************************************************************
15 minutes later
Unknown Location
Harm parked his SUV and turned it off. Everyone else followed his lead as he exited the vehicle. Once all eight of them were assembled under the streetlight, Harm reached in his pocket and pulled out a key. "If you'd all follow me," he said, taking Mac's hand in his own. They followed him half a block down the residential street then up a side walk to a darkened vacant house.
"Harm, what's going on?" Mac asked, perplexed.
He turned the key in the lock, opened the door, and turned on the hall light. Leaning down to gently kiss Mac, he said, "Welcome home, Sarah."
She turned to him as everyone else entered the house. Her eyes widened as his words registered in her mind. "You mean...Is this..."
"Yeah," Harm said with a smile. "Matt's too big for your apartment, or mine for that matter. He needs a place with lots of room, a big backyard, and we need a place where we can all live as a family. Maybe not quite yet, but soon. Let's look around."
Hand in hand, Harm, Sarah, and all their closest friends explored the house. The living room was small, but it had beautiful wood flooring and plenty of windows to let in the morning sun. The kitchen was spacious, with plenty of room to cook. The den was huge with a big fireplace in one corner. Sarah imagined herself and Harm curled up in front of it on cold winter nights, Matt asleep between the two of them. The master bedroom was also downstairs, a large room with a big walk-in closet and plenty of bathroom space.
"This is incredile, Harm," Harriet said. "You've out done yourself this time."
"Thanks, Harriet. Sarah, what do you think?"
In lieu of a reply, Mac pulled Harm down for a passionate kiss. As they separated, she turned to her CO and said, "You didn't just see that, Admiral."
"See what?" AJ asked. "I didn't see anything, except a beautiful house. Speaking of which, is there more to this place?"
"Yes, sir," Harm said, leading them upstairs. While the others explored the second floor, Harm led Mac to an open room with lots of windows. "I thought we could make this Matt's playroom."
"I think it's perfect, Harm," she said as he proceeded to show her the room he had in mind for Matt's bedroom, and the room he thought they could use as an office.
"So what do you think?" he asked the group as a whole when they were all preparing to leave.
"It's beautiful, Harm," Sydney said. "You made a very good choice."
"How did you manage to pull it off, though?" Webb inquired.
"A little love and a lot of help from Frank."
They all got back in the vehicles they had come in and headed back to Harm's apartment. While Bud and Harriet talked softly in the back seat of Harm's SUV, Harm took Sarah's hand and kissed the back of it. "I don't want this night to end, Sarah."
"It doesn't have to," she answered quietly. "Stay with me tonight."
"Sarah, are you sure you-"
"I just want you to hold me, Harm. Nothing else. I want to know how it feels to wake up in your arms."
"I can do that."
"Good."
****************************************************************************
2245 EST
Mac's Apartment
After all their guests had gone home, Harm and Mac gathered up Matt's things and what Harm would need in the morning and headed to Mac's apartment. After they tucked Matt in, the couple retired to Mac's bedroom. After Harm turned out the light, he took Sarah in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Sarah."
"I love you too, Harm. Thank you for everything, Daddy."
"That's kind of scary, you know?" he said. "I've got this little person depending on me now. What if I mess it up?"
"I've wondered the same thing many times, Harm. But it's just a natural thing, I guess. Of course, the admiral was wonderful, and so was Harriet. Sydney and I have gotten pretty close too, and she's done this before, so I've talked to her about it. And you've got your mom, and Grandma Sarah, and Frank. I'm sure they're all thrilled to death about this."
"Actually, Frank is the only one who knows. He and Mom are flying out here this weekend to help us shop for furniture, but she just thinks they're coming for a visit."
"You've kept this from her? Harmon Rabb, she's gonna kick your six from here to the moon and back. Then she's gonna give you a real big hug."
"No, she'll give you and Matt big hugs, then she'll kick my six, then she'll kick Frank's six, then she'll give me a hug. You know, I never realized how cool Frank really is. I wish I'd given him a chance when I was a kid."
"Better late than never, right?"
"Yeah. I guess it's kind of that way with us too, huh?"
"No. I think we waited till the perfect time, after we'd both made our mistakes and were ready to settle down."
"I'm gonna marry you someday, Sarah," Harm whispered in her ear.
"Is that your idea of a proposal, because if it is, it could use some work."
"No. I do intend to propose the right way. Soon, Sarah. Very soon."
****************************************************************************
And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
****************************************************************************
Saturday afternoon
1230 EST
The new house
"Harm!" Mac called. "Your parents are here."
"Coming," he said, walking into the living room holding a squirming little boy in his arms. "Thought they'd like to meet their grandson," he said, smiling at Mac.
"Harmon Rabb, what in the world is going on here? Why aren't we at your apartment? Frank wouldn't tell me anything, and I know he knows what's going on because he's just as bad a liar as you are," Trish Burnett ranted as she walked up the steps. "Hello, Mac, how are you?"
"Just fine, Mrs. Burnett."
"Please, call me Trish."
"Mom," Harm said, shifting Matt to his left hip, "You know my partner Sarah Mackenzie, and this is our son, Matt."
"Your WHAT? Harmon Rabb, what were you thinking? He must be three by now and I'm just now finding out that you have a son? What in God's name were you thinking?"
"Trish, honey, calm down," Frank said, leading her into the house. "Have a seat and I'm sure Harm will tell you the whole story."
The elder couple sat on the sofa that Harm had brought from his apartment while Harm, Mac, and Matt sat on Mac's loveseat. "Well?" Trish prompted. "I'm all ears."
"Well, Trish," Mac said, taking the lead, "First of all, Matt is my son. But he seems to have latched onto Harm. Matt, who's your daddy?"
The little boy looked up at Harm from his lap and wrapped his little arms around Harm's neck. "Daddy!" he squealed with delight. "Love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, buddy," Harm said, kissing the top of the boy's head. "It all started when I changed my designator, Mom."
"The first time or the second time?"
"Second," he said
"First," Mac said at the same time.
"Sarah, you don't have to."
"She's your mom, Harm. She deserves to know."
"Okay," he said, leaning over and kissing her gently.
"After Harm went back to flying, I was devastated. I thought he was leaving me, even though I know now that wasn't the case. So I did something I've never done before in my life, and have no reason to ever do again: I had a one night stand. I'm not proud of it, but it happened. Then I found out I was pregnant. Matt was born 3 months premature, and he was really sick for a long time. Then he started to get better, but I still didn't want to leave him because he's my baby. When I did start dating again, men shied away from me because I had a son. Then Harm came back. From day one, he and Matt took to each other in such an amazing way. Trish, you've raised an amazing son. Whenever we go out, he insists that we swing by my apartment so I can tuck Matt in at night. Last week, when we told the admiral about our relationship was the first time he called Harm 'Daddy.'"
Trish had tears in her eyes as Mac finished. "Matt, come see your Grandma Trish," she said patting her lap. The little boy crawled off of Harm's lap and ran to Trish, who pulled him up into her lap. "He's adorable."
"We know," Harm said.
"Well, after we find some furniture for this beautiful house, would the two of you be opposed to Frank and I taking Matt for the night so you can have a night to yourselves?"
"No, Mom, I think we can go for that," Harm said.
"Good. If you'll give us the grand tour so we can figure out what's furnished and what's not, we'll get started. After all, we do have a whole house to furnish."
"Frank, Trish, thank you so much for doing this for us," Mac said, giving them both hugs.
"It's our pleasure," Frank said. "We've been waiting a long time for the two of you to figure out that you were meant for each other. Trish has told me all along that you two would end up together."
"Mom, you know me too well."
"A mother knows, dear, a mother knows."
****************************************************************************
2255 EST
Harm and Mac's house
Harm crawled into bed next to Sarah. "Hey, good lookin'."
"Hey, handsome," she returned with a smile. Leaning toward him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair. "You know, we've got the house all to ourselves."
"I know. Feels empty, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," she said, moving closer to him. "But at the same time, isn't it nice?"
"Very," Harm said, pulling her down for a kiss. When they pulled apart, he said, "That was nice, too."
"Mmm..." she murmured in response. "I wish it didn't have to stop there."
"Sarah, do you regret our decision?"
"To wait? No. Sex has gotten me in enough trouble in my life. I want to make love to you, as my husband. But there are times when you're almost impossible to resist."
"Ditto," he said, turning off the light and holding her close to him. "But it will all be worth it, because someday we'll be a real family."
"There you go again, almost proposing. I'm beginning to think you don't know how," she teased lightly.
"Oh, I do," he laughed. "Don't worry. And when the time comes, you'll know. I promise."
****************************************************************************
A month later
Harm and Mac's House
1930 EST
As Sarah Mackenzie took off her makeup, she thought about the past seven months of her life. Harm's return, their romance, his acceptance of Matt and vice versa. For over a month, Harm had been hinting at a life together, yet he never quite made it around to proposing. She was afraid that he was having second thoughts, and when she voiced those concerns tonight over dinner, he had simply smiled and told her that it was coming and she had absolutely nothing to worry about. They had gone to an early dinner at Le Tours, then came home. They had just gotten done with a case that zapped the energy from both of them, and took up so much of their time that family time had been at a minimum. Mac changed out of her dress into a pair of sweat pants and a Marine Corps t-shirt, then headed out to the living room where she knew Harm was waiting with their son. Upon seeing her, Matt's eyes lit up and he clambered down from Harm's lap and ran to her, squealing delightedly as he went. "Mommy!"
"Hey, handsome," she said, picking him up.
Harm watched this exchange with a smile and said, "I'm gonna go change my clothes real quick. Matt, you look after your mommy, okay?"
"I will," he said, flinging his arms around Mac's neck.
"I love you, Matt," she said, readjusting him in her lap and wrapping her arms around his tiny waist. "I'm sorry I haven't gotten to spend much time with you lately, but Mommy's had to work."
The little boy craned his neck to peer into his mother's eyes and said, "It's okay, Mommy. I love you."
"Ooh, thank you," she said, holding him closer and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "That's exactly what I needed to hear right now."
"Well, in that case, I love you too," a much deeper voice added from behind them.
Mac turned to see Harm leaning against the door frame of the master bedroom. "Ditto, sailor," she said as her eyes followed him from where he had been standing to the sofa, where he sat down beside her.
Taking Matt from her lap, Harm sat the little boy on his lap and said, very seriously, to him, "Matt, can I ask you a question?" The boy nodded. "Well, since you're the man of the house, I need to know something. Would it be okay if I became your daddy for real?"
"Uh-huh," he replied, with equal seriousness, though the smile on the little boy's face told the real story.
Harm looked up at Mac who had tears in her eyes. Standing, and gently placing Matt back in his mother's lap, Harm stuck his hand in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small, black velvet box. Getting down on one knee, he gazed into her eyes and said, "Marine, you heard your little boy. And you've been pestering me about this for weeks now. I told you that you'd know when I was proposing, but just in case you haven't noticed, I love you, Sarah. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and allow me the honor of being Matthew's father?"
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Mac nodded and said, "I'd love to become your wife, Harm, and I'd like nothing better than for you to be Matt's real father." Leaning over their son, she pressed her lips to his in a kiss that was full of promise of things to come. Pulling away, she kissed the top of Matt's head and said, "I have the two most important men in my life right here, and I couldn't be happier."
"Me neither, Sarah."
****************************************************************************
The wedding was as simple as the proposal, just the friends they had invited to dinner to share their news initially, Harm's parents and grandmother, and the rest of the JAG office staff. Matt stole the show when, after the vows were exchanged, he said, "I do, too!" to confirm his excitement at the day's happenings. After the reception, Harm and Sarah Rabb set out on their honeymoon at Grandma Sarah's house, since she was going to be in Washington with Trish and Frank watching Matt. Upon their return, the Admiral presented them with a belated wedding present: the adoption papers he had drawn up so Harm could make it offical that he was Matt's father. While every happily every after has its bumps, Harm and Sarah weathered those bumps in the road with the same love and loyalty that brought them to the altar in the first place.
****************************************************************************
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes
****************************************************************************
When Matt was 13, Harm and Mac decided he had a right to know that he was adopted and how he was conceived. As Harm had predicted, he took in all in stride, telling his mother, "It's okay, Mom. Harm's the best dad in the world. I wouldn't want it any other way." And so they continued as they had for ten years, Harm, Mac, Matt, and now Elizabeth, four years younger than Matt. Harm and Mac supported their children in every aspect of their lives, and no one was more pleased than Harm when Matt said he'd found the girl he was going to marry. The Rabb family immediately took Jess in as one of their own. After several years of marriage and many attempts to have kids, Matt and Jess told his family that their wish had come and they were expecting. That night at dinner, Matt told his father, "I hope I'm just like you when it comes to raising a family, Dad." His father merely smiled and assured him that it would all work out for the best.
****************************************************************************
I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in
****************************************************************************
Thirty years later
Bethesda Naval Hospital
"Dad?" Admiral Harmon Rabb looked up as his son walked into the waiting room. "It's a boy," Lt. Colonel Matt Rabb informed his father. "We named him Jacob Harmon Rabb."
The elder Rabb gave his son a bear hug and said, "Congratulations, Matt. I know how long you and Jess have wanted to have children. I just hope your sister and I can convince this one to go Navy. I still don't know where I went wrong with you."
"Don't let Mom hear you say that," Matt joked.
"Don't let me hear what?" General Sarah Mackenzie Rabb asked, walking into the waiting room.
"Dad just told me he was going to make sure his grandson didn't make the mistake I did by joining the Corps."
"It was no mistake," Sarah informed her husband. "The real shame was letting Liz into the Navy. Now what's this about a grandson?"
"Jacob Harmon Rabb," her son informed her. "Destined to get caught in the struggle between squids and jarheads, just like the rest of us."
"I'm so happy for you, Matt," Sarah said, giving him a hug.
"Me, too, big brother," Lt. Commander Elizabeth Rabb seconded, putting her arm around him.
"Thanks Liz," he said. "Would you like to see him?" His family all nodded their assent, and he led them down the hall to the nursery. Looking through the glass, he pointed to a little boy with a shock of brown hair. "There he is. That's my son."
"He's perfect," Sarah said, placing a hand on Matt's shoulder.
"Better looking than you are," Liz informed her brother.
"Thanks a lot, Lizzy. Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure," Harm said, walking with him a few feet away. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to say thank you, Dad. For showing me how to be a father. You didn't have to be, and yet if I'm even half the father you've been to me, I think Jake's gonna be a lucky little boy."
"You're welcome. And I'm the lucky one. Lucky that your mom is the woman she is, and lucky that you accepted me as your father. I'm proud of you, son. And I love you."
"I love you too, Dad," Matt said as he embraced his father. Looking skyward, he realized that but by the grace of God, he had been blessed, more blessed than he would probably ever know.
****************************************************************************
And now all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
****************************************************************************
Author: Stephanie Wheatley, thewheatmeister@hotmail.com
Summary: Three years after 'Goodbyes', Harm comes back to JAG to find that things have changed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harm, Mac, and the rest. I'd love to have Harm for awhile, though. And
the song is Brad Paisley's.
Dedication: To my Jakey-Tubbie...God gave you a wonderful gift of a father. And He gave me a
wonderful gift when He allowed me to become a small part of your life. You're a very lucky
little boy.
****************************************************************************
Three years after 'Goodbyes'
JAG Headquarters
1500 EST
Cmdr. Harmon Rabb strode through the halls of his old stomping grounds. He missed this place. His truest friends and fondest memories were here.
"Harm!"
He looked up and saw Harriet Sims-Roberts come rushing toward him. Smiling, he opened his arms and gave her a big hug. "How are you, Harriet?"
"I'm doing well, sir. We've missed you."
"I've missed you too. Is Mac around?"
"Yeah. Try her office."
"Okay, thanks Harriet." Harm strode toward the bullpen. Many people stopped to say 'Hi,' but he didn't hear any of them. He just wanted to see his best friend. Knocking on her door frame, he poked his head in the open door. "Hey, jarhead," he said, by way of greeting.
"Harm!" Mac bolted out of her chair and raced to give her former partner and best friend a hug. "You didn't tell me you were coming."
"I wanted to surprise you. Did it work?"
Mac responded with a playful slap on the arm. "Squid."
"Hey, what are you doing for dinner tonight?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"You wanna go out, catch up on stuff?"
"Um, I don't know if I can, Harm."
"You just said you didn't have plans. What's up?"
"Okay. Where should I meet you and when?"
"Hey, hey. I'll pick you up at 1900."
"You don't have to do that, Harm," Mac said hastily.
"Of course I don't, but I'm going to, anyways."
"Okay," Mac said nervously.
"What's wrong, Mac? You seem kinda jumpy."
"It's nothing. I'm sure you've got other people to see. I'll see you at 1900." With that, Mac sat back down at her desk and engrossed herself in her latest case. Harm shook his head in confusion and walked out of her office.
****************************************************************************
1858 EST
Mac's Building
Mac hurried down the stairs to the door before Harm could come up to her apartment. "Hey," she said, opening the front door of her building.
"I could have come up and gotten you, Mac."
"You shouldn't have to see my apartment, Harm. It's a mess."
"So? When has that ever been a problem?"
"Let's just go to dinner, alright?" Mac said, desperate to get away from there. "We've got a lot to talk about."
"Yeah," Harm murmured as he got back in his SUV. "Yeah, we do."
****************************************************************************
1915 EST
Restaurant
Harm looked across the table at Mac. She had been acting weird all night. Reaching across the table, he placed his hand over hers. "Mac, what's wrong? I know we haven't seen each other in over three years, and I'm so sorry, but you've been acting weird all day."
Mac looked at him and smiled ashamedly. "I'm sorry, Harm. It's just that I haven't been out for so long and the men I've gone out with don't want to have anything to do with me after they find out..."
"Find out what, Mac?"
She let out a sigh and reached into her purse. Pulling out her wallet, she opened to and slid it across the table to Harm. He found himself staring at a picture of an adorable little boy, about two years old with big brown eyes and a smile that would melt a person's heart. "Men don't want to have anything to do with me when they find out about Matt. Harm, that's my son, Matthew Harmon Mackenzie."
"Your son?"
"Yeah," Mac said, smiling shyly. "I hope you don't mind. It's just that you're such an important person to me and he needed a middle name, and..."
"I'm honored, Mac."
"He was born three months premature. For a while, no one knew if he'd make it. But he's strong."
"Just like his mom."
"Thanks," Mac said, blushing. "For a year after he was born, I didn't go out much because he was so sick and I didn't want to leave him. For the past 18 months or so, I've gone out a few times. But as soon as the guy I'm out with finds out about Matt, he runs. Men don't want a two for one deal, but I don't feel like I should have to apologize for having another man in my life."
"Especially one as cute as he is. You have nothing to apologize for, Mac. If I had a son as cute as him, I wouldn't let anyone get in the way of my relationship with him, either. What about his father? Where's he?"
"I don't know. I don't even remember his name. I'm so ashamed, because I'm not a one night stand kind of person, but after you left, I was so hurt that I really didn't care."
"Why didn't you tell me about your pregnancy, Mac? You know I would have been here to help."
"That's exactly why I didn't tell you, Harm. I didn't want you to put your life on hold because of my mistake."
"Now, Mac, you let me decide what to do with my life. But the important thing is that I'm here now and you have a free baby sitter anytime you need one."
"But you'll have to go back soon."
"Nope. I changed my designator back. I'm transferring back to JAG."
"Really?" Mac asked excitedly.
"Yep."
"That's great, Harm. I'm glad you're coming back. I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too, jarhead."
Dinner came and they ate in silence. After Harm had paid, Mac said, "I hate to ditch out on you so early, but can you go ahead and take me home? I hate to leave Matt all day and then at night, too."
"Sure thing. That is, if I can meet this new man in your life."
"I think that can be arranged."
"Then you've got yourself a deal, Col. Mackenzie."
"Glad to hear it, Cmdr. Rabb."
****************************************************************************
2100 EST
Mac's Apartment
Mac opened the door and walked into her apartment, followed by Harm. "Hi, Jenny," she said to her babysitter. "How was he?"
"Pretty good. He cried a little when I put him down, but I think that's because you weren't here."
"Harm, this is Jenny Anderson. Her family lives just down the hall. Jenny, this is Cmdr. Harmon Rabb."
"As is Harm, Matt's namesake?"
"Guilty as charged," he replied, shaking her hand.
Mac pulled some money from her purse and handed it to Jenny. "Thanks again, Jenny. Matt loves spending time with you."
"Don't mention it, Sarah. He's a great little boy," the girl said as she walked out the door.
"Mommy!" a little voice said. Harm and Mac turned in the direction of the voice.
"Hey, baby," Mac said, scooping him up off the floor. "Did you miss me?"
"Uh-huh."
"Matt, I want you to meet my friend, Harm."
"Hi," the little boy mumbled as he buried his head in his mother's neck.
"Hey, buddy," Harm said to the child's back. "Can you give me a smile, Matt?" Slowly the little boy looked up and turned to Harm. Upon seeing the smile on the nice man's face, he returned the favor. "That's better," Harm said.
"Matt, we need to get you to bed," Mac said in her best motherly voice. "Can you tell Harm bye?"
"Bye bye."
"Sweet dreams, Matt," Harm said as Mac carried her son to his room. Harm went to the refrigerator and got out a couple of bottles of water, then sat down on the couch and waited for Mac to finish tucking her son in. When she entered the living room again, she was surprised to see her former partner, but always best friend, sitting on the couch.
"You're still here," she said.
"Yeah. I was hoping we could talk a little bit more."
"Okay," Mac said, sitting next to Harm and taking the bottle of water he offered her.
"Mac, I understand why you didn't tell me about Matt, but it still hurts. Best friends are supposed to know important things about each other like the fact that one of them has had a kid."
"I'm sorry, Harm. I was embarrassed, and I already had people breathing down my neck about who his father was and why I'd done it and asking me if I was okay. I didn't want more of that with you. It was easier when we talked to pretend everything was normal. If you could call our friendship normal."
Harm set his water on the table in front of them and leaned over to embrace his partner. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Mac. If I hadn't left the way I did, this never would have happened."
"No, Harm. Don't ever think that I wish this hadn't happened. First of all, yes, I wanted you to stay. But as a friend, I knew I had to let you go, because you would have spent the rest of your life wondering what you could have done. And as far as what happened while you were gone, do I regret having that one night stand? Yes. Do I regret Matt? Absolutely not. Harm, I've never been a very religious person, but Matt is my proof that there is a God somewhere. He has changed my outlook on life so much. Every day I have with him is a miracle, because he almost didn't make it. There have been days I've come home from work feeling like I've accomplished nothing good. But then I get home and Matt is so happy to see me and he gives me this big hug, and everything is better. Don't feel bad about following your dreams, Harm. It all worked out in the end."
"I'm glad you're happy. I don't think I've ever seen you quite this happy before, Mac."
"I don't think I've ever been this happy before," she replied with a yawn. "Man, I'm tired."
"It's been an interesting day," Harm agreed, standing. "I'll let you two get some sleep."
"I'm so glad you're back," Mac said, also standing.
"I'm glad I'm back, too. Hey, tomorrow's Saturday. What are you and Matt doing tomorrow afternoon?"
"Nothing. Why?"
"Great. I'll pick you up at 1300. We'll go to the park and have a picnic and enjoy the nice weather. I'll take care of everything."
"Harm, you don't have to..."
"I know that, Mac. I want to. What do you say? 1300 good?"
"Sure."
"Great. See you tomorrow, Mac."
"Yeah. Tomorrow," Mac replied, closing the door behind him, wondering what this meant for their friendship.
****************************************************************************
'When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run'
****************************************************************************
The Next Day
A park in DC
1330 EST
Harm and Mac unloaded all their picnic essentials from Harm's SUV. After laying out a blanket under a big shade tree, he proceeded to set out the food he had brought with him. "You thought of everything, didn't you, Harm?" Mac asked, looking at the feast in appreciation.
"Yep. Complete with sparkling cider for us," he replied, pulling the bottle out of the picnic basket, followed by two champagne glasses.
Matt climbed out of his mother's lap and toddled over to Harm. After getting over his initial shyness around Harm, the boy had taken a shine to him. Looking up at him with big brown eyes, Matt said simply, "Food, Hawm."
"You hungry, big guy?" Harm asked with a smile. "I've got just the thing for you." Harm opened one of the containers from the picnic basket and handed Matt a gooey peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Matt grabbed the sandwich greedily and began to devour it. "Matthew," Mac said, "What do you tell Harm?"
"Fank you," the little boy said through a mouthful of the sandwich. With him occupied, Harm and Mac began making sandwiches from the deli meat, cheese, chicken salad, and veggies Harm had picked up.
When he had polished his off, Harm opened the sparkling cider and poured it into the glasses. Handing one to Mac, he said, "Here's to our renewed friendship. And to Matt, one of God's small miracles."
"Cheers," Mac said with a smile. The three of them finished lunch, and Matt wanted to go play on the playground several yards away. Harm swooped him off the ground and spent the next hour pushing him on the swings, going down the slide with him, and chasing him around in the grass. Mac looked on with tears in her eyes. Since she found out she was pregnant, she had dreamt of having a real family. For a long time, she was convinced that for some reason, God didn't think she deserved that kind of happiness, but now she wasn't so sure. Harm was a natural with Matt. He hadn't shied away from her son at all, like the other men she'd been seeing. Mac hoped against all hope that there could be something between her and Harm. She had hoped that for a long time, but things kept getting in the way. 'This time,' she promised herself, 'this time, I won't let anything get in the way of my happiness.'
Mac's reverie was interupted when Harm and Matt approached the blanket. Harm laid Matt down on the blanket and the boy immeadiately curled up and went to sleep. Harm looked up at Mac and smiled. "I guess I wore him out."
"Looks like it," Mac agreed, trying to hide the redness and puffiness around her eyes.
"Mac? What's wrong?" Harm asked, sitting down beside her.
"I'm a terrible person, Harm."
"Hey," he said gently, pulling her into his embrace. Leaning back against the trunk of the tree they sat under, he said, "You aren't a terrible person, Mac. What on earth made you say that?"
"What am I going to tell Matt when he's old enough to start asking about his father? If he asks who his dad is, what do I tell him?"
"You're worried he's going to think less of you, aren't you?"
"Yeah. What do I say to him, Harm? Your mother's a whore and she doesn't even remember the name of the guy she slept with the night you were concieved. He'll hate me, Harm."
"Mac, that little boy worships the ground you walk on. You're his mommy and as long as he has your love, he'll be happy. When he's old enough to understand everything that's happened the past few years, he'll understand what happened."
"Do you understand, Harm? Do you think I'm a whore?"
"Oh, God, Mac," he said, holding her tighter. "No, I don't think you're a whore. I think you're human and humans make mistakes. I can only imagine how hurt you were when I left. I was so euphoric about flying again, I totally forgot about your feelings. You needed me, and I let you down."
Harm felt Mac stiffen. It was as if those walls she had learned to construct around herself had magically reappeared. "I don't need anyone," she said gruffly.
Harm gently forced her chin up with his hand and made her look him in the eye. "That's a bunch of crap, Marine, and you know it. I know you want to be the bad ass Marine who can carry the whole world on her shoulders, but we both know that's not true. Mac, you're a person, just like me, and people need each other. It's the nature of the beast. Look, it takes more courage to admit that you can't do it all alone than it does to try and do it without help."
"Maybe you're right," she murmured into his chest.
"Just like it takes more courage to duck than it does to stay where you are when bullets are flying," Harm continued, kiddingly.
"I've already told you, Harm. I'm a Marine. We don't duck."
"Oh, yeah. You take cover."
"Damn straight."
"Well, whatever it is you do, Mac, you don't have to do it alone."
"I guess what bothers me about the night I got pregnant was that I was out of control. I felt almost like I used to when I was drunk. I wasn't in control. But the scary thing is that when I was drunk, I didn't exactly lose control willingly. I mean, I did, but the alcohol had something to do with it, too. But that night, I was perfectly sober and I allowed myself to get in that position."
"I understand what you're saying, Mac. But did you learn from that experience?"
"God, you sound like Uncle Matt."
"Well? Did you learn from it or not?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, then. It wasn't all bad. Besides, look at that little guy over there," Harm said. "Doesn't he make it all worth it?"
"Yeah," Mac said with a proud smile.
"See. That mistake might have been the best thing to happen to you."
"Why is it that you can always make sense of the chaos in my life?"
"Because I know you. And you know me, better than anyone else probably ever has."
"Ditto," Mac agreed.
"You deserve to be happy, Mac. You're a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful woman and you deserve the best."
"Well, I'm pretty happy right now. I've got the two most important people in the world with me right now," she murmured, lifting her head off Harm's chest and smiling up at him.
"Well if you're happy, I'm on top of the world. Mac, I feel more freedom with you than I ever have in any Tomcat. You've heard all about my obsessions and my crazy, messed up feelings, and my fears, and you've just accepted it all without question."
"Harm, in all the years I've known you, that's got to be the most poetic thing I've ever heard you say."
"Yeah, well, being away from the most important person in your life for three years can do that to a guy."
"I'm glad you're back, Harm."
"Me too, Ninja Girl."
****************************************************************************
Harm spent a better part of the evening trying to figure out his feelings. After dropping Mac and Matt off at their apartment, he drove aimlessly around DC, trying desparately to sort out his feelings for his partner. After several hours of contemplating their relationship, Harm decided that the best thing to do would be to talk to her. So he left his apartment, got in his SUV, and drove off to Mac's apartment.
****************************************************************************
Mac's Apartment
2130 EST
Harm knocked softly on the door. "Hey," Mac said quietly, closing the door behind him. "Matt's asleep."
"Yeah, I figured."
"What's up?"
"We need to talk, Mac."
"Okay," she said, sitting down beside him on the couch.
"I went back to flying because I was looking for that something that would make me whole. I thought flying was it, and it took me long enough, but I finally figured out that flying wasn't it. I had gone off searching for something that was right under my nose."
"What are you saying, Harm?"
"Maybe I tried to deny it, maybe I really didn't realize it, maybe I was just blind. Maybe I was afraid of the consequences of telling you how I feel."
"And how do you feel?"
"I still don't quite have that figured out, Sarah. But I was hoping maybe you'd help me figure that out."
"What are you suggesting, Commander?" Mac said with a smile.
"Sarah, would you like to go out sometime?"
"Harm, are you asking me out on a date?"
"One of many, I hope," Harm said nervously.
Noticing the reddening of his cheeks, Mac kidded, "Harmon Rabb, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were nervous."
"Don't tell anyone."
"Your secret's safe with me."
"Well? Would you like to go out sometime?"
"See, there's this slight problem. You promised me free baby-sitting. How can you do that and take me out at the same time?"
"That's not a problem. I pay for Jenny to baby-sit Matt."
"Oh, well, okay."
"You're evading the question, Mac."
"Yes, I'd like to go out sometime."
"Good."
"What did you have in mind?"
"Well, maybe an early dinner, then we could come back here real quick so you could tuck Matt in, then to a late movie."
Mac leaned over and kissed Harm softly on the cheek. "You're amazing," she said.
"Why?"
"Because you don't mind coming back here for a few minutes to I can say goodnight to my son."
"Sarah, as much as I care about you, I realize that I'm not the most important person in your life. That sweet little boy is. And I would never ask you to put me ahead of him. It's not fair to you and it's definitely not fair to him. Matt needs his mommy more than Harmon Rabb needs his best friend, Mac."
"I love you, Harm. I'm not sure I ever realized how much I loved you until you got back. The fact that you love me, but would never ask me to put my love for you above my love for my son makes me love you even more."
"I've never said I love you, Sarah," Harm said, uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was heading in.
"You don't have to, Harm. I can see it in your eyes and how you treat me. I might have been blind before too, Harm, but I'm not anymore. I know it seems like we're moving faster than a Tomcat here, but when you stop to think about it, we really aren't. When was the first time you realized you loved me?"
"When I was dangling from that helo and you pulled me in."
"It took you long enough. I knew from the minute the admiral introduced us in the Rose Garden that I loved you."
"So much for, 'Don't get too close. You have to work together,'" Harm said with a smile, wrapping his arms around Sarah's waist and holding her close. Harm looked down to see his partner laughing through her tears. "Hey, Mac. What's wrong?"
"Do you know how long it's been since I've been this close to someone, Harm? Or how long it's been since a man has kissed me?"
"Judging from the reaction, far too long," he replied as he lowered his head and touched his lips gently to hers. "But that's all gonna stop now. Because I do love you, Sarah Mackenzie. More than I've ever loved anyone else. And I love Matt as well, even though I've only known him for two days. And from now on, you'll never have to worry about loneliness again. I promise."
Mac turned and wrapped her arms around Harm's waist. Resting her face on his chest, she murmured, "I love you, too."
****************************************************************************
From that moment on, Harm and Mac had never been happier. They didn't let anyone know about their romance, because neither of them wanted to be the center of office gossip and they didn't want to be split up as partners. They went out at least twice a week, and every date was the same. At roughly 1930, they would return briefly to Mac's apartment so she could say goodnight to Matt. After several months, Harm began taking part in the bedtime ritual as well, reading Matt a bedtime story or singing him to sleep. Every time Mac saw Harm and her son together she fell deeper in love with Harm. Around the time Matt's 3rd birthday was drawing close, Harm and Mac began to discuss the idea of telling Bud, Harriet, and the admiral about them. After much discussion, especially about the career ramifications, they decided they did want to share their happiness with those closest to them. What Mac didn't know was that Harm had a little extra surprise up his sleeve for her.
****************************************************************************
1830 EST
Harm's Apartment
Mac paced the apartment nervously. Harm looked up from the food he was preparing and put down the knife in his hand. Wiping his hands quickly on a towel, he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Relax, Marine," he whispered in her ear.
"What are we doing, Harm? We could be throwing our careers out the window here."
"Hey...We've discussed this, Mac. No matter what happens, we want to be together, right?"
"Yeah."
"And we want our friends to know how happy we are, right?"
"Yeah."
"And the admiral was accomodating with Bud and Harriet, right?"
"Yeah."
"Then we have nothing to worry about, right?"
Mac turned in his embrace and looked up at him. Giving him a quick kiss, she said, "Don't look so smug. You're not always right."
"But I'm right about this."
"Yeah, you are."
"I love you, Jarhead."
"Love you, too, Squid."
The doorbell rang, and Mac escaped Harm's embrace to answer it. "Hi, Jenny. Come on in."
"Jenny!" Matt said, emerging from Harm's bedroom and flinging himself at his baby sitter.
"Hey, buddy," she said, scooping him up in her arms. "C'mon, kiddo. Let's go get some toys out so you and AJ can have something to play with."
"Thanks for doing this, Jenny," Harm said.
"Hey, it's no problem. You know I love spending time with Matt. And little AJ's fun, too. A good time should be had by all tonight." With that, Jenny carried Matt back to the bedroom and they began playing with the toys Sarah kept at Harm's house.
The doorbell rang again, and Harm went to open the door. "Bud, Harriet, come on in. AJ, Jenny and Matt are in my bedroom playing with toys." AJ went racing off to the bedroom and Bud and Harriet came in and closed the door behind them.
"Can we do anything to help, Mac?" Harriet inquired.
"Well, you can set the table if you'd like."
"I can do that. So, how many people are you expecting tonight?"
"Oh, let's see," Mac paused and thought about the people who had been invited. "There's the four of us, the Admiral, Sydney, Clay, and Bobbie Latham, so that's...8 people."
"We'll get right on it, won't we Bud?"
"Yes," her husband replied obediantly.
Bud and Harriet began setting the table while Mac answered the door and Harm finished dinner. Once all of the guests had arrived, they all sat down to a full spaghetti dinner.
"Harm, this is delicious," Bobbie Latham said, between bites.
"Thanks," Harm replied, as the others murmured their agreement. It didn't take long for the food to disappear, and then everyone moved to the living room to talk.
"So, tell me, Harm," Clayton Webb began. "Why exactly are we all here? I know it's not Matt's birthday because he's already had the big party with his friends, so what is it?"
"Always the spy, aren't you, Clay?" Mac asked dryly. "Actually, we invited you all over here because we wanted our closest friends to hear our news first."
"Well, don't keep us in suspense, Colonel," Admiral Chegwidden said. "What news are you so happy about sharing?"
"Well, sir," Harm began, "Since my return from flight duty, Mac and I have renewed our friendship, and in the process...fallen in love."
Harriet, ever the matchmaker, was the first to respond. "Oh, Harm, Sarah, that's wonderful! I always knew you two were perfect for each other!"
"Congratulations, Sarah," Bobbie said, standing to give her friend a hug. As she hugged Harm, she said, not so softly, "It's about time you two got your heads out of your sixes. For such smart people..."
"You two sure were blind," Webb finished. "Harm, Mac, I'm glad you've finally seen what the rest of us have known for years."
"Agreed," AJ said. "We'll deal with this in the office tomorrow, but I'll take care of everything. Admiral's priviledge is a wonderful thing."
Sydney looked at her date and said, "You were right, AJ. You told me the first time I asked you about Harm and Sarah that they were perfect for each other."
Harriet looked at her husband, who was staring at Harm and Mac, his mouth gaping open. Elbowing him, she said, "Bud, say something."
Before Bud could gather himself, there was the pitter patter of little feet racing toward them. "Daddy!" a little boy exclaimed. Everyone looked toward Bud, expecting to see little AJ wrapped around his leg. No one was more surprised than Harm to see Matt flinging his little body at Harm. There was a stunned silence in the room as Mac turned to Harm and saw the tears starting to collect in his eyes: tears she knew were mirror images of the ones in her own eyes.
"He called me 'Daddy,'" Harm whispered, gathering the little boy into his embrace. Looking at Mac, he said, "Is that okay with Mommy?"
Hastily wiping her eyes, Mac leaned over and gave Harm a gentle kiss. "It's music to my ears," she replied.
'Big' AJ cleared his throat, breaking the couple out of their reverie. "I take it this is a first?"
"Yes, sir," Harm said, wiping his own eyes.
"He adores you, Harm," the admiral commented. "You cherish every minute you have with him, because he'll be all grown up before you know it."
"Yes, sir," the younger man said.
"Harm?" Jenny asked, coming out of the bedroom. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?"
"No," Harm said, looking up at her smiling. "Matt just called me Daddy."
"Congratualations, Daddy," the girl said with a smile. "Would you like me to take your son off your hands?"
"No," Harm said looking down at the little boy on his lap. "He's fine right where he is. Have you eaten, Jenny? We've got plenty of spaghetti left over."
"Thanks. I think I'll have some."
"Help yourself. Get some for the boys while you're at it."
"Okay," she replied, retrieving plates from the cabinet.
"This has been a big night for you two," Bobbie commented.
"No," Mac said, "It's been a big night for all three of us."
"And it's not over yet," Harm said cryptically.
"What do you mean?" Harriet asked.
Rather than answer her, Harm called to Jenny, "Hey, Jenn, can you watch the boys for awhile? We're going to take a little trip."
"No problem," she replied. "We'll be here when you get back."
"Great," Harm said, "Let's go."
The eight of them left Harm's apartment and headed downstairs. "Where exactly are we going?" AJ asked.
"Well, sir, if you could take Webb, Bobbie, and Sydney in your car, and follow me, you'll find out."
"I'm intrigued," Webb commented.
"I'll take that as a compliment, Webb."
"As well you should, Rabb."
Bud and Harriet got in the back seat of Harm's SUV while Mac joined him up front, and they all took off to an unknown destination. "Where exactly are we going, Harm?" Mac asked, weaving her fingers with his.
"You'll find out soon enough, Sarah."
****************************************************************************
15 minutes later
Unknown Location
Harm parked his SUV and turned it off. Everyone else followed his lead as he exited the vehicle. Once all eight of them were assembled under the streetlight, Harm reached in his pocket and pulled out a key. "If you'd all follow me," he said, taking Mac's hand in his own. They followed him half a block down the residential street then up a side walk to a darkened vacant house.
"Harm, what's going on?" Mac asked, perplexed.
He turned the key in the lock, opened the door, and turned on the hall light. Leaning down to gently kiss Mac, he said, "Welcome home, Sarah."
She turned to him as everyone else entered the house. Her eyes widened as his words registered in her mind. "You mean...Is this..."
"Yeah," Harm said with a smile. "Matt's too big for your apartment, or mine for that matter. He needs a place with lots of room, a big backyard, and we need a place where we can all live as a family. Maybe not quite yet, but soon. Let's look around."
Hand in hand, Harm, Sarah, and all their closest friends explored the house. The living room was small, but it had beautiful wood flooring and plenty of windows to let in the morning sun. The kitchen was spacious, with plenty of room to cook. The den was huge with a big fireplace in one corner. Sarah imagined herself and Harm curled up in front of it on cold winter nights, Matt asleep between the two of them. The master bedroom was also downstairs, a large room with a big walk-in closet and plenty of bathroom space.
"This is incredile, Harm," Harriet said. "You've out done yourself this time."
"Thanks, Harriet. Sarah, what do you think?"
In lieu of a reply, Mac pulled Harm down for a passionate kiss. As they separated, she turned to her CO and said, "You didn't just see that, Admiral."
"See what?" AJ asked. "I didn't see anything, except a beautiful house. Speaking of which, is there more to this place?"
"Yes, sir," Harm said, leading them upstairs. While the others explored the second floor, Harm led Mac to an open room with lots of windows. "I thought we could make this Matt's playroom."
"I think it's perfect, Harm," she said as he proceeded to show her the room he had in mind for Matt's bedroom, and the room he thought they could use as an office.
"So what do you think?" he asked the group as a whole when they were all preparing to leave.
"It's beautiful, Harm," Sydney said. "You made a very good choice."
"How did you manage to pull it off, though?" Webb inquired.
"A little love and a lot of help from Frank."
They all got back in the vehicles they had come in and headed back to Harm's apartment. While Bud and Harriet talked softly in the back seat of Harm's SUV, Harm took Sarah's hand and kissed the back of it. "I don't want this night to end, Sarah."
"It doesn't have to," she answered quietly. "Stay with me tonight."
"Sarah, are you sure you-"
"I just want you to hold me, Harm. Nothing else. I want to know how it feels to wake up in your arms."
"I can do that."
"Good."
****************************************************************************
2245 EST
Mac's Apartment
After all their guests had gone home, Harm and Mac gathered up Matt's things and what Harm would need in the morning and headed to Mac's apartment. After they tucked Matt in, the couple retired to Mac's bedroom. After Harm turned out the light, he took Sarah in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Sarah."
"I love you too, Harm. Thank you for everything, Daddy."
"That's kind of scary, you know?" he said. "I've got this little person depending on me now. What if I mess it up?"
"I've wondered the same thing many times, Harm. But it's just a natural thing, I guess. Of course, the admiral was wonderful, and so was Harriet. Sydney and I have gotten pretty close too, and she's done this before, so I've talked to her about it. And you've got your mom, and Grandma Sarah, and Frank. I'm sure they're all thrilled to death about this."
"Actually, Frank is the only one who knows. He and Mom are flying out here this weekend to help us shop for furniture, but she just thinks they're coming for a visit."
"You've kept this from her? Harmon Rabb, she's gonna kick your six from here to the moon and back. Then she's gonna give you a real big hug."
"No, she'll give you and Matt big hugs, then she'll kick my six, then she'll kick Frank's six, then she'll give me a hug. You know, I never realized how cool Frank really is. I wish I'd given him a chance when I was a kid."
"Better late than never, right?"
"Yeah. I guess it's kind of that way with us too, huh?"
"No. I think we waited till the perfect time, after we'd both made our mistakes and were ready to settle down."
"I'm gonna marry you someday, Sarah," Harm whispered in her ear.
"Is that your idea of a proposal, because if it is, it could use some work."
"No. I do intend to propose the right way. Soon, Sarah. Very soon."
****************************************************************************
And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
****************************************************************************
Saturday afternoon
1230 EST
The new house
"Harm!" Mac called. "Your parents are here."
"Coming," he said, walking into the living room holding a squirming little boy in his arms. "Thought they'd like to meet their grandson," he said, smiling at Mac.
"Harmon Rabb, what in the world is going on here? Why aren't we at your apartment? Frank wouldn't tell me anything, and I know he knows what's going on because he's just as bad a liar as you are," Trish Burnett ranted as she walked up the steps. "Hello, Mac, how are you?"
"Just fine, Mrs. Burnett."
"Please, call me Trish."
"Mom," Harm said, shifting Matt to his left hip, "You know my partner Sarah Mackenzie, and this is our son, Matt."
"Your WHAT? Harmon Rabb, what were you thinking? He must be three by now and I'm just now finding out that you have a son? What in God's name were you thinking?"
"Trish, honey, calm down," Frank said, leading her into the house. "Have a seat and I'm sure Harm will tell you the whole story."
The elder couple sat on the sofa that Harm had brought from his apartment while Harm, Mac, and Matt sat on Mac's loveseat. "Well?" Trish prompted. "I'm all ears."
"Well, Trish," Mac said, taking the lead, "First of all, Matt is my son. But he seems to have latched onto Harm. Matt, who's your daddy?"
The little boy looked up at Harm from his lap and wrapped his little arms around Harm's neck. "Daddy!" he squealed with delight. "Love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, buddy," Harm said, kissing the top of the boy's head. "It all started when I changed my designator, Mom."
"The first time or the second time?"
"Second," he said
"First," Mac said at the same time.
"Sarah, you don't have to."
"She's your mom, Harm. She deserves to know."
"Okay," he said, leaning over and kissing her gently.
"After Harm went back to flying, I was devastated. I thought he was leaving me, even though I know now that wasn't the case. So I did something I've never done before in my life, and have no reason to ever do again: I had a one night stand. I'm not proud of it, but it happened. Then I found out I was pregnant. Matt was born 3 months premature, and he was really sick for a long time. Then he started to get better, but I still didn't want to leave him because he's my baby. When I did start dating again, men shied away from me because I had a son. Then Harm came back. From day one, he and Matt took to each other in such an amazing way. Trish, you've raised an amazing son. Whenever we go out, he insists that we swing by my apartment so I can tuck Matt in at night. Last week, when we told the admiral about our relationship was the first time he called Harm 'Daddy.'"
Trish had tears in her eyes as Mac finished. "Matt, come see your Grandma Trish," she said patting her lap. The little boy crawled off of Harm's lap and ran to Trish, who pulled him up into her lap. "He's adorable."
"We know," Harm said.
"Well, after we find some furniture for this beautiful house, would the two of you be opposed to Frank and I taking Matt for the night so you can have a night to yourselves?"
"No, Mom, I think we can go for that," Harm said.
"Good. If you'll give us the grand tour so we can figure out what's furnished and what's not, we'll get started. After all, we do have a whole house to furnish."
"Frank, Trish, thank you so much for doing this for us," Mac said, giving them both hugs.
"It's our pleasure," Frank said. "We've been waiting a long time for the two of you to figure out that you were meant for each other. Trish has told me all along that you two would end up together."
"Mom, you know me too well."
"A mother knows, dear, a mother knows."
****************************************************************************
2255 EST
Harm and Mac's house
Harm crawled into bed next to Sarah. "Hey, good lookin'."
"Hey, handsome," she returned with a smile. Leaning toward him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair. "You know, we've got the house all to ourselves."
"I know. Feels empty, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," she said, moving closer to him. "But at the same time, isn't it nice?"
"Very," Harm said, pulling her down for a kiss. When they pulled apart, he said, "That was nice, too."
"Mmm..." she murmured in response. "I wish it didn't have to stop there."
"Sarah, do you regret our decision?"
"To wait? No. Sex has gotten me in enough trouble in my life. I want to make love to you, as my husband. But there are times when you're almost impossible to resist."
"Ditto," he said, turning off the light and holding her close to him. "But it will all be worth it, because someday we'll be a real family."
"There you go again, almost proposing. I'm beginning to think you don't know how," she teased lightly.
"Oh, I do," he laughed. "Don't worry. And when the time comes, you'll know. I promise."
****************************************************************************
A month later
Harm and Mac's House
1930 EST
As Sarah Mackenzie took off her makeup, she thought about the past seven months of her life. Harm's return, their romance, his acceptance of Matt and vice versa. For over a month, Harm had been hinting at a life together, yet he never quite made it around to proposing. She was afraid that he was having second thoughts, and when she voiced those concerns tonight over dinner, he had simply smiled and told her that it was coming and she had absolutely nothing to worry about. They had gone to an early dinner at Le Tours, then came home. They had just gotten done with a case that zapped the energy from both of them, and took up so much of their time that family time had been at a minimum. Mac changed out of her dress into a pair of sweat pants and a Marine Corps t-shirt, then headed out to the living room where she knew Harm was waiting with their son. Upon seeing her, Matt's eyes lit up and he clambered down from Harm's lap and ran to her, squealing delightedly as he went. "Mommy!"
"Hey, handsome," she said, picking him up.
Harm watched this exchange with a smile and said, "I'm gonna go change my clothes real quick. Matt, you look after your mommy, okay?"
"I will," he said, flinging his arms around Mac's neck.
"I love you, Matt," she said, readjusting him in her lap and wrapping her arms around his tiny waist. "I'm sorry I haven't gotten to spend much time with you lately, but Mommy's had to work."
The little boy craned his neck to peer into his mother's eyes and said, "It's okay, Mommy. I love you."
"Ooh, thank you," she said, holding him closer and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "That's exactly what I needed to hear right now."
"Well, in that case, I love you too," a much deeper voice added from behind them.
Mac turned to see Harm leaning against the door frame of the master bedroom. "Ditto, sailor," she said as her eyes followed him from where he had been standing to the sofa, where he sat down beside her.
Taking Matt from her lap, Harm sat the little boy on his lap and said, very seriously, to him, "Matt, can I ask you a question?" The boy nodded. "Well, since you're the man of the house, I need to know something. Would it be okay if I became your daddy for real?"
"Uh-huh," he replied, with equal seriousness, though the smile on the little boy's face told the real story.
Harm looked up at Mac who had tears in her eyes. Standing, and gently placing Matt back in his mother's lap, Harm stuck his hand in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small, black velvet box. Getting down on one knee, he gazed into her eyes and said, "Marine, you heard your little boy. And you've been pestering me about this for weeks now. I told you that you'd know when I was proposing, but just in case you haven't noticed, I love you, Sarah. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and allow me the honor of being Matthew's father?"
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Mac nodded and said, "I'd love to become your wife, Harm, and I'd like nothing better than for you to be Matt's real father." Leaning over their son, she pressed her lips to his in a kiss that was full of promise of things to come. Pulling away, she kissed the top of Matt's head and said, "I have the two most important men in my life right here, and I couldn't be happier."
"Me neither, Sarah."
****************************************************************************
The wedding was as simple as the proposal, just the friends they had invited to dinner to share their news initially, Harm's parents and grandmother, and the rest of the JAG office staff. Matt stole the show when, after the vows were exchanged, he said, "I do, too!" to confirm his excitement at the day's happenings. After the reception, Harm and Sarah Rabb set out on their honeymoon at Grandma Sarah's house, since she was going to be in Washington with Trish and Frank watching Matt. Upon their return, the Admiral presented them with a belated wedding present: the adoption papers he had drawn up so Harm could make it offical that he was Matt's father. While every happily every after has its bumps, Harm and Sarah weathered those bumps in the road with the same love and loyalty that brought them to the altar in the first place.
****************************************************************************
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes
****************************************************************************
When Matt was 13, Harm and Mac decided he had a right to know that he was adopted and how he was conceived. As Harm had predicted, he took in all in stride, telling his mother, "It's okay, Mom. Harm's the best dad in the world. I wouldn't want it any other way." And so they continued as they had for ten years, Harm, Mac, Matt, and now Elizabeth, four years younger than Matt. Harm and Mac supported their children in every aspect of their lives, and no one was more pleased than Harm when Matt said he'd found the girl he was going to marry. The Rabb family immediately took Jess in as one of their own. After several years of marriage and many attempts to have kids, Matt and Jess told his family that their wish had come and they were expecting. That night at dinner, Matt told his father, "I hope I'm just like you when it comes to raising a family, Dad." His father merely smiled and assured him that it would all work out for the best.
****************************************************************************
I met the girl that's now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin' more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded 'round the nursery window as they bring the baby in
****************************************************************************
Thirty years later
Bethesda Naval Hospital
"Dad?" Admiral Harmon Rabb looked up as his son walked into the waiting room. "It's a boy," Lt. Colonel Matt Rabb informed his father. "We named him Jacob Harmon Rabb."
The elder Rabb gave his son a bear hug and said, "Congratulations, Matt. I know how long you and Jess have wanted to have children. I just hope your sister and I can convince this one to go Navy. I still don't know where I went wrong with you."
"Don't let Mom hear you say that," Matt joked.
"Don't let me hear what?" General Sarah Mackenzie Rabb asked, walking into the waiting room.
"Dad just told me he was going to make sure his grandson didn't make the mistake I did by joining the Corps."
"It was no mistake," Sarah informed her husband. "The real shame was letting Liz into the Navy. Now what's this about a grandson?"
"Jacob Harmon Rabb," her son informed her. "Destined to get caught in the struggle between squids and jarheads, just like the rest of us."
"I'm so happy for you, Matt," Sarah said, giving him a hug.
"Me, too, big brother," Lt. Commander Elizabeth Rabb seconded, putting her arm around him.
"Thanks Liz," he said. "Would you like to see him?" His family all nodded their assent, and he led them down the hall to the nursery. Looking through the glass, he pointed to a little boy with a shock of brown hair. "There he is. That's my son."
"He's perfect," Sarah said, placing a hand on Matt's shoulder.
"Better looking than you are," Liz informed her brother.
"Thanks a lot, Lizzy. Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure," Harm said, walking with him a few feet away. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to say thank you, Dad. For showing me how to be a father. You didn't have to be, and yet if I'm even half the father you've been to me, I think Jake's gonna be a lucky little boy."
"You're welcome. And I'm the lucky one. Lucky that your mom is the woman she is, and lucky that you accepted me as your father. I'm proud of you, son. And I love you."
"I love you too, Dad," Matt said as he embraced his father. Looking skyward, he realized that but by the grace of God, he had been blessed, more blessed than he would probably ever know.
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And now all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we've gone from something's missing
To a family
Lookin' through the glass I think about the man
That's standin' next to me
And I hope I'm at least half the dad
That he didn't have to be
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