Author's Note: Okay, this is my very first fic to ever post up, and I find it HUMOROUS. Well, maybe no one else does, but that's not important. I should say now that I hate veela (especially Fleur) and I would love to see her rot in hell eternally. Now that that's settled, on with the show.
FOR YOUR COMIC RELIEF...
* ~ Fleur's Kiss ~ *
Another day at Hogsmeade, but with all of the tall hooded dementors around, no onee had that good of a time. The streets and stores were cold and irky. Happyness was at a low.
"Those dementors are annoying, I mean they are EVERYWHERE! Hogsmeade, the school, it's getting kind of depressing!" Hermione said after the visit, sitting down in the Great Hall for dinner.
"Well, hopefully they'll be moved to...hmm...I don't know. What about Antarctica, wouldn't that be great?" Harry said, digging into some mashed potatoes.
"Yeah, matches their personalities: cold and heartless," Hermione muttered.
Ron rolled his eyes, "I can see it all now, Hermi; Dementors Hotel -- room service, and many healthy soulds. Quite amusing if you ask me."
"I love dementors!" Harry added in, "They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."
Suddenly, the doors opened, and Fleur Delacour stormed in. As she passed the Gryffindor table, the three of them heard, "No one 'ere is worthy of me!" Fleur sat down at the Ravenclaw table.
"Of course no one will please her!" Hermione said, letting out a small laugh. Fleur was frowning and appeared to be very angry.
Slowly the food was eaten, course after course, and the plates cleared. Silence fell. "Well then all of you, have a good night and I shall see you at breakfast," Dumbledore said as the students emptied out of the Great Hall.
"Um, Harry, Ron...I'll meet up with you later, okay?" Hermione said, making her way to Fleur and her friends.
"Hey Fleur, do you think I could talk with you a minute alone?"
Fleur's friends left the hall and went to their carriage.
"What do you 'ave to talk about with me?"
"Well, I heard that no one is good enough for you. Is that true? Because I know the perfect person for you! You'd be great with each other."
"Well, who iz good enough for moi, Fleur Delacour?"
"Do you want to meet him right now? I know where he is. Come on, I'll show you," Hermione dragged Fleur all the way to Hogsmeade, and then through a bunch of trees, right into a clearing.
There, stood a tall, what appeared to be a man with a cloak over him so not even his fingers were shown.
"Who iz this?"
"Well, Fleur, this is Mr. Perfect."
"Him? You 'ave got to be joking!"
"Don't hurt his feelings! Oh, he likes you."
"What iz his name?"
"Ah...almost forgot. Fleur, this is Mr. Dementor. Mr. Dementor, meet Fleur Delacour." Hermione stepped back five paces.
The dementor drew in on Fleur.
"Ahh! Go back!" She frantically tried to back away.
"Oh, but Fleur, let's not be rude! Mr. Dementor would like to give you a little kiss to show you just how much he is worthy of you!" Hermione turned around and walked away from the scene.
The dementor got up to Fleur and pulled down it's hood.
"NOOOOOOO!"
Mr. Dementor opened its mouth and Fleur's screams died down.
A while later, Hermione reacheed the castle and went up to the Gryffindor common room. "Where did you go?" Ron asked.
"Oh, just to take a breath of air, that's all." Hermione answered.
The next morning when Ron, Harry and Hermione got to the Great Hall, many people looked worried and upset. Trusting Lavender would know what happened, Ron asked her.
"That champion, Fleur Delacour is missing!" Lavender exclaimed.
"Since when?"
"They say she never came back last night," Lavender turned and looked suspiciously at Hermione. "They say she was with you."
"Well, don't go blaming me! I saw her heading back," Hermione lied, a smile playing on her lips.
BANG! Someone had banged into the door. It opened, and there was Fleur.
"Where did you go? What did you do?" Many people asked, but she walked on, a mindless zombie, like she didn't hear a thing. She banged into walls and people, and after a while, Professor McGonagall asked, "What is the hold up here?"
She then spotted Fleur. "Good, you're back."
But Fleur went on until sshee fell down the stairs into the dungeons.
All eyes were on Hermione who was laughing hysterically. Finally, she said, "Fleur had some kiss!"
AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!
Author's Note (again): Well, that's it, hope you liked it! I know I'm gonna be in a shitload of trouble for that, because some people like veela. Oh well, I think Fleur deserves the dementors!
laughs wickedly Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!
FOR YOUR COMIC RELIEF...
* ~ Fleur's Kiss ~ *
Another day at Hogsmeade, but with all of the tall hooded dementors around, no onee had that good of a time. The streets and stores were cold and irky. Happyness was at a low.
"Those dementors are annoying, I mean they are EVERYWHERE! Hogsmeade, the school, it's getting kind of depressing!" Hermione said after the visit, sitting down in the Great Hall for dinner.
"Well, hopefully they'll be moved to...hmm...I don't know. What about Antarctica, wouldn't that be great?" Harry said, digging into some mashed potatoes.
"Yeah, matches their personalities: cold and heartless," Hermione muttered.
Ron rolled his eyes, "I can see it all now, Hermi; Dementors Hotel -- room service, and many healthy soulds. Quite amusing if you ask me."
"I love dementors!" Harry added in, "They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."
Suddenly, the doors opened, and Fleur Delacour stormed in. As she passed the Gryffindor table, the three of them heard, "No one 'ere is worthy of me!" Fleur sat down at the Ravenclaw table.
"Of course no one will please her!" Hermione said, letting out a small laugh. Fleur was frowning and appeared to be very angry.
Slowly the food was eaten, course after course, and the plates cleared. Silence fell. "Well then all of you, have a good night and I shall see you at breakfast," Dumbledore said as the students emptied out of the Great Hall.
"Um, Harry, Ron...I'll meet up with you later, okay?" Hermione said, making her way to Fleur and her friends.
"Hey Fleur, do you think I could talk with you a minute alone?"
Fleur's friends left the hall and went to their carriage.
"What do you 'ave to talk about with me?"
"Well, I heard that no one is good enough for you. Is that true? Because I know the perfect person for you! You'd be great with each other."
"Well, who iz good enough for moi, Fleur Delacour?"
"Do you want to meet him right now? I know where he is. Come on, I'll show you," Hermione dragged Fleur all the way to Hogsmeade, and then through a bunch of trees, right into a clearing.
There, stood a tall, what appeared to be a man with a cloak over him so not even his fingers were shown.
"Who iz this?"
"Well, Fleur, this is Mr. Perfect."
"Him? You 'ave got to be joking!"
"Don't hurt his feelings! Oh, he likes you."
"What iz his name?"
"Ah...almost forgot. Fleur, this is Mr. Dementor. Mr. Dementor, meet Fleur Delacour." Hermione stepped back five paces.
The dementor drew in on Fleur.
"Ahh! Go back!" She frantically tried to back away.
"Oh, but Fleur, let's not be rude! Mr. Dementor would like to give you a little kiss to show you just how much he is worthy of you!" Hermione turned around and walked away from the scene.
The dementor got up to Fleur and pulled down it's hood.
"NOOOOOOO!"
Mr. Dementor opened its mouth and Fleur's screams died down.
A while later, Hermione reacheed the castle and went up to the Gryffindor common room. "Where did you go?" Ron asked.
"Oh, just to take a breath of air, that's all." Hermione answered.
The next morning when Ron, Harry and Hermione got to the Great Hall, many people looked worried and upset. Trusting Lavender would know what happened, Ron asked her.
"That champion, Fleur Delacour is missing!" Lavender exclaimed.
"Since when?"
"They say she never came back last night," Lavender turned and looked suspiciously at Hermione. "They say she was with you."
"Well, don't go blaming me! I saw her heading back," Hermione lied, a smile playing on her lips.
BANG! Someone had banged into the door. It opened, and there was Fleur.
"Where did you go? What did you do?" Many people asked, but she walked on, a mindless zombie, like she didn't hear a thing. She banged into walls and people, and after a while, Professor McGonagall asked, "What is the hold up here?"
She then spotted Fleur. "Good, you're back."
But Fleur went on until sshee fell down the stairs into the dungeons.
All eyes were on Hermione who was laughing hysterically. Finally, she said, "Fleur had some kiss!"
AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!
Author's Note (again): Well, that's it, hope you liked it! I know I'm gonna be in a shitload of trouble for that, because some people like veela. Oh well, I think Fleur deserves the dementors!
laughs wickedly Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!