Interviewer (Ms I.M. Sot-fake
[silent t]) = I
Interviewee (Mr H. Potter) =
H
I: Hi! Welcome to 'Interviews
with famous people, though our interviews are usually with infamous people
because most famous people hate our show because they think it's stupid, though
we, on the show, think it's great!'
(The 'applause' sign comes op, but no one applauds.)
I: Err… I'm Ingrid Sot-Fake.
(silent t!!!) And today I will be
interviewing Harry Potter.
(Everyone applauds as Harry walks on)
I: Hi Harry!
H: Hi!
I: Gee you must be pretty
popular! There are like a million people in the crowd. Usually there are only
about two!
Producer: Ingrid! That's
confidential!
I: (flirtatiously) You
popular guy!
H: (embarrassed) Uh… Thanks.
P: Ingrid! Get on with the
show!
I: Oh, yeah! (Reaches into handbag
to find her list of questions and accidentally pulls out a tampon. She throws
it into the audience and someone catches it,)
Catcher: Yes! I won the game!
I won the prize! (Runs off)
I: Sorry about that Harry.
That will be censored.
P: This is a live show,
Ingrid!
I: Is it? Really? (To Harry)
Can you believe that this is a live show? Amazing!
H: Uh…
P: We're running out of time,
Ingrid!
I: Okay, Okay. I found the
questions. Now Harry. Ompt colosti forcita?
P: Ingrid, you're reading the
questions upside down!
I: Oh, sorry! So, Harry. Is
it true that you are a powerful wizard?
H: Yeah, I guess so…
P: Good girl.
I: (beaming) Harry. Which do
you prefer? Pepsi or Coca Cola?
P: Oh brother.
H: Um, I'd say… Coke.
I: Okay. (looks at question
list) And what's your favourite band?
H: They might be witches.
I: And what's your favourite
restaurant?
H: I don't have one, but m
favourite café is The Three Broomsticks.
I: Really? My favourite café
is The Three Rakes. Hey! Let's go there after this show!
H: Um, I'm not so sure…
I: Great, I'll-
P: Ingrid! Who wrote these
questions?
I: Me, of course!
P: Oh, Ingrid, you were
supposed to take the real questions off my desk!
I: Oh!
P: Well here, take the
questions and get on with the show! Sorry about this Harry.
H: That's okay.
I: Alright. Harry, how do you
feel about de… Defet… Um…
P: Defeating!
I: Oh. So, how do you fell
about um… That word, Lord Voldemort?
H: Well, I haven't really
defeated Lord Voldemort. He's still around.
P: Really? I should get him
on my next show.
I: But didn't you de… Defet…
Defeat him when you were one?
H: Well, kinda, but he
didn't-
Voice: And that's all we've
got time for. Don't miss our next episode with Vodka!
P: VOLDEMORT!
Voice: Oh, Voldemort!
(Audience applaudes and then leaves)
I: Great show, wasn't it
Harry?
H: I guess so.
I: Hey! I'm going to The
Three Rakes now. Wanna come?
H: Ah… (looks at wrist) Oh,
look at the time. I need to get going. Maybe some other time.
I: Oh, he wasn't even wearing
a watch!
Did you like it? Personally I
think it's stupid and lame. Review and tell what you think so I can improve my
writing.
