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Song-fic to "I Will Remember
You" by Sarah McLachlan. I am not her or her recording company. :D
This is dedicated to Mara
Jade, Emperor's Hand, thanks for the fun, and most of all, thanks
for the book. :) I must also extend my thanks to my ever faithful beta
Dant and, in her absence, J_girl. princess-sari also stepped in for some
last minute help. Thanks! I couldn't have done it w/o you gals. :)
Warning: The song-fic
is an EU missing moment scene from Rebel Dawn, and contains character
death. If you do not want to read that, or if you don't like Bria,
especially the latter, then this isn't the story for you.
Bria's Reverie
by Bria
Tuesday, May 1, 2001
Bria Tharen surveyed the
body strewn landscape that surrounded her. Death had come to Toprawa, taking
Imperial and Rebel alike. She was the only surviving member of Red Hand
Squadron. Soon she too would be gone. She sighed, and her thoughts turned
to Han, as they had so often for the last ten years.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass
you by
Weep not for the memories
Bria loved him with all her
heart. There was nothing she wouldn't have done for him. Of course, that
was the problem... On Ylesia she had done what needed to be done. The new
born Rebel Alliance needed all those credits if they could ever hope to
break the Empire. Only with the Empire gone, would there ever be hope for
the galaxy. Still, she had never wanted to hurt Han. Not after all that
he had done for her.
Han had been so angry
at her the last time they had spoken. She'd hurt him badly when she betrayed
him. She could still recall his angry words, 'You'd better get in your
ship and outta here while the getting is good, Bria. If I ever see you
again in this life, I'll shoot you on sight.'
Bria knew he would never
have done that. Han had been angry and hurt when he said that. Deep
down though, she would bet that he still cared for her. Not that
it mattered now. He wouldn't be seeing her again in this lifetime,
that much was for sure. She just hoped that he could forgive her,
and not forget her.
Remember the good times
that we had?
I let them slip away
from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw
you, smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth
upon me, I wanna be the one
If there had been one regret
in Bria's life, it would have to be how she initially left him 10 years
ago. They had been headed towards a glorious future together, but
she had left him one morning on Coruscant. She'd had no other
choice. Han had been willing to give up his dream of serving in the
Imperial Navy. After all that he had done for her, she couldn't let
him sacrifice his dream. He had deserved better than that.
Bria remembered how Han had
saved her from a Ylesian hell. He had escaped with her and tried to help
overcome her addiction to the Exultation. He had offered her what Han Solo
offered few people, his love and devotion. It had been on a beautiful Togorian
beach, watching him practice his new found swimming talents, that she realized
that she'd loved him since the he'd first spoken to her and that she would
for all the days of her life. The moment when he just wouldn't go away...
but now he had... forever...
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass
you by
Weep not for the memories
Bria knew she didn't have
much time left. She could feel death beckoning her towards it, welcoming
her. Why she wasn't already gone, she didn't know. Not that it really mattered.
She was paralyzed from the neck down, the result of the detonator that
had finished off the last of her squadron. Her life was literally dripping
away, into the puddle of blood beneath her. "Oh Han," she whispered quietly.
There was another thing that
haunted her about her last time with Han. An oath he had made, one that
scared her to her very soul. 'But as for today, I am no woman's fool, sister.
No woman is ever gettin' to me again.
Ever.' How Bria prayed that
wouldn't be true. He deserved someone special. Someone who could erase
the pain she had caused him. If the chance arose, she hoped Han took it.
She wanted him to live a happy life, the kind neither of them had been
able to know.
I'm so tired, but I can't
sleep
Standin' on the edge
of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel
so much, but cannot say a word
We are screaming inside,
but we can't be heard
Bria closed her eyes and
willed herself to die. But death teased her, beckoning and then eluding
her when she tried to follow. Why it had come to this was beyond
her, but Bria knew her mission had accomplished something historical- something
that could save billions.
Someday she hoped Han would
learn that the plans she transmitted to the Tantive IV weren't only for
the safety of the galaxy, but for his safety as well. Even though
she didn't know what she had transmitted, it had been explained to her
by her commanding officer that without the plans, the Rebellion could be
crushed.
The Empire was ruthless,
and it had to be destroyed. It wasn't against just non-humans, but anyone,
Han included, who didn't follow the beliefs of the Emperor. The Empire
was like a disease. It would fester and grow until it was overcome...
unless it was overcome...
Bria just wished she could
talk to Han one last time, so that she could've explained to him why she
had taken all the credits on Ylesia. Although he might try to deny it,
he was a man of honor. Ultimately, she believed he would've understood
her devotion. Maybe even agreed and accepted it. But Han Solo was someone
who could only choose his own crusade. She shouldn't have expected him
to participate in hers.
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass
you by
Weep not for the memories
How ironic that she used
the very skills she'd learned from him, and it cost her their relationship.
The galaxy it seemed, was not without a sense of humor, however twisted
it might be.
I'm so afraid to love
you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that
doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness,
deep and endless night
You gave me everything
you had, oh you gave me light
Bria owed Han so much.
A lesser man wouldn't have risked his neck to free her from slavery.
On Ylesia she'd experienced the agony of life. Then Han had come
along and showed her the ecstasy. He showed her how to be strong,
loyal, and brave. Once she left him, she'd used the skills he taught her
to overcome her addiction. Whenever she felt like giving up or giving
in, she'd think of him, and she always found the strength to endure. After
she was free, she committed herself to the Resistance in order to fight
the Empire that allowed slavery. Ultimately, it was her loyalty to
the Rebellion that tore them apart.
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass
you by
Weep not for the memories
A sob worked it's way through
Bria's system and she coughed up blood. She snapped out of her reverie,
as her current condition pushed it's way to the forefront of her consciousness.
Off in the distance she heard
ships landing. 'More Imperials,' she thought to herself. 'I guess this
is it.'
The ground was shaking. She
could hear the thud of Stormtrooper's boots on the ground. Bria stuck her
tongue out and reached the lullaby that was inside the collar of her uniform.
It was only a matter of moments now before the suicide pill did its job.
'Goodbye, Han. I've always
loved you.' As she drifted away, she heard voices approach her.
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass
you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories
"Those Rebels were so stupid.
Throwing their lives away on a worthless cause that doesn't stand a chance."
"You said it. And for their
only reward to be death. It's a pity too. From the reports, they were good
soldiers. Hey! I think one's alive."
"Negitive. I'm getting no
life reading. Let's see who we got here.... just a finger print... ah.
This is good news indeed. Commander Bria Tharen. Red Hand has been destroyed."
THE END
******************
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Bria's Reverie
By: Bria