Trickle - 6 - Far
[What's he doing out here? More importantly, did he see you crying?]
.
After entering the ball with a still silent Seifer, I was beginning to regret that I told him I was going to go stand with Squall.
"Ooh-La-La."
Zell.
I turned and noticed the whole gang holding champagne glasses; shocked faces that I showed up with Seifer. I'd have to say the one with the most surprised face was Rinoa.
There was a really unnatural silence.
"Hey guys!" Selphie smiled.
I said my hellos and waited for Seifer to say something. He just stood there staring at Rinoa.
I looked down sadly. It was obvious what was going on here. He still had feelings for her. I angrily grabbed a champagne glass off the tray of a waiter passing by and gulped most of it down.
What did I tell you? She gets everything.
"So! You guys are here together? That's great! I knew Quistis would---"
I moved my finger quickly across my neck so Selphie wouldn't slip something out which would embarrass me. I mean, what was the point in telling him what I felt now? He's completely living for someone else.
Selphie took my hint and quickly swerved what she was saying; trying to turn it into something else.
"--I knew she would be wearing lipstick. You know, I always thought that color looked great on you!"
She's never seen me wearing it before.
Seifer looked at me. I guess he never noticed that I had my hair down and my lips painted on. What a fool I was to try and glam myself up.
I wanted to turn around and leave right now, but I couldn't. I still had to go around and shake the hands of strangers and watch everyone be happy.
He wasn't looking at Rinoa anymore; his eyes were fixed on the ground.
I looked at Rinoa; she had her finger in her glass, stirring the wine inside nervously. Squall had his arm around her and his head lowered asking her something. She nodded and they walked out to the dance floor.
"I'm going to get something to eat." Zell replied, drinking the remains of his wine and walking towards the tables piled high with finger-foods.
Seifer waved to someone on the other side of his room, excused himself and left. God, I knew this night would be a disaster.
"I'm…uh…going to get more of…whatever this is."
I shook my wine, walked away from Selphie and Irvine who were ready to rip each other's clothes off and set my glass down at the refill table.
.
From where I was standing I could see Rinoa and Squall still remembered the steps to their little waltz dance. They did it so perfectly and professionally. Every once in a while Squall did mess up a bit, but not enough to make it that noticeable.
Seifer stood right across from me. He was watching them dance happily. Even from my distance I could see all the rage built up in his eyes.
I can't look at this anymore.
Leaving my glass that the waiter just filled, I walked out onto the balcony.
.
Things never go right. I think the main purpose of parties like these is to try and remind people, like me that they're always going to be alone. They're never going to have anyone. They're going to be forced for the rest of their lives to smile, wave and do a little dance for the happiness of other everyone else.
I looked up at the sky. I could feel what I think were tears clouding up my eyes and warming up my cheeks as they slid down smoothly and gracefully.
You're so pathetic. Look at you, crying over somebody. Quistis Trepe! You promised yourself that your feelings would never get the best of you.
I know I did. I know I did.
"You left your drink in there."
What's he doing out here? More importantly, did he see you crying?
I turned my head to my left, wiped my eyes and looked back at him. He was standing there, holding the glass. His 3 fingers were pinched to the waist of it, his glove-less fingers.
"Um…that's…" I cleared my throat. "…That's okay, I didn't want it anyways." My voice was breaking, but I was too upset and confused to care.
He shrugged, and dumped it over the balcony. A clear stream flowed out of the container, and splashed hard against the grass below.
"I um…I talked to the guards and they're not blocking the path anymore…that is, if you still want to see it."
The hole. I didn't really want to see it anymore, but any place would be better than where I was right now.
"Yeah, sure."
The wine I had drunk earlier was really starting to kick in. I'm not really a big drinker, so I'm guessing that's why only one glass had such an impact on me.
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[My love is mutilation. She moves from the East and Western divides.]
- Loudermilk