Doyle
I heard the crunch of footsteps on gravel and I knew without turning around to look that she'd followed me. Her hand on my arm a moment later only confirmed it. I pulled away from her. "I don't need your pity, Buffy," I hissed, trying to keep from exploding.
"What?" she asked, actually managing to sound confused. And the academy award for best actress goes to…
"You know what I mean, so don't try to deny it," I replied, stubbornly refusing to turn around and look her in the eyes.
"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, so you'd better start explaining yourself, mister." I could actually hear the animosity brewing in her voice. I could just imagine her standing there, all righteous anger, her hands placed firmly on her hips as the sparks burned in her eyes. That was my Buffy, full of spunk to the last. Even when she was just coming out here to let me down gently before we made the long trek to LA and the vampire of her dreams.
I sighed, shoving my hands in my jacket pockets and finally turning around to face her. I wanted to be looking in her eyes when she admitted everything. I wanted to be strong. Of course, it didn't help that she looked like a vision, standing there with her long, golden curls - I assumed she'd had that done recently. Her hair had been straight when we'd met in Las Vegas - and perfect lips. What I really wanted to do was grab her and kiss her breathless while I still had the chance. But I didn't. I wasn't going to let her know how much she got to me. Not when she was about to stomp all over what was left of my heart. "You and Angel and the Romeo and Juliet/true love never dies thing you got going on between you."
"What does my relationship with Angel have to do with you?"
Could she really be this dense? Or did she just think of me as that guy she had a fling with once? Someone unimportant. Someone easily brushed off at a moment's notice. Somehow, that was even worse than the pity scenario. "You're about to go running back to tall, dark and broody and I don't wanna stick around to watch you both kiss and make up, all right?" I demanded. I was starting to lose control of what little calm I had left. This was not good.
"Why?" There was something in her voice. I couldn't describe it, but it sounded… hopeful? I must have been imagining things. After all, my mum always did say that I had an over-active imagination. I used to think it was a blessing. But right now, it was being particularly cruel to me.
Taking a deep breath, I decided to be honest. After all the lies I'd told, I couldn't stand adding another to the list. I knew I'd probably regret it in the morning, but at the moment I could care less about how pathetic I sounded. Buffy deserved the truth, even if she was about to leave me for Angel. "Because I love you too much to watch you throw yourself at another guy. If I saw you and Angel together, I'd probably have to punch him. An since we both know that he can pretty much kick my butt any day of the week, and twice on Sunday, that wouldn't be a very smart thing for me to do." I was proud of myself. My voice only faltered once during that speech.
Buffy was silent for a long moment while I waited for her to respond. After a while, I began to panic. Did she hate me now? Was she totally disgusted? Or was she just trying really hard not to laugh in my face? Then a smile appeared on her face like a ray of sunshine parting the rain clouds. I was guessing it was going to be option C. I prepared myself to be laughed at. But the mocking laughter never came. Instead, she reached out a hand and touched my cheek tenderly.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're an idiot?"
Wait, she was going to insult me now? My day just kept getting worse and worse. And it didn't help that her hand touching my skin was extremely distracting. My eyes moved to her lips against my will. All I could manage at this point was a really intelligent, "Huh?"
She chuckled to herself, which made me wonder what the joke was. I had a sinking suspicion that it was me. "You're a cute idiot, but an idiot all the same."
Then she did something totally unexpected. Her hand slid from my cheek back around to the nape of my neck and she pulled me forward into a mind- blowing kiss. It started off as a light brush of her lips against mine, but then she sucked gently on my lower lip, causing me to moan softly. Taking advantage of my now open mouth, she slipped her tongue inside, stroking my tongue with hers. Forgetting all of my earlier plans for "being strong" in a heartbeat, I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against me, quickly burying my hands in her hair and tilting her head back to deepen the kiss. We were standing on the gravel driveway outside of Giles' apartment where anyone could just walk by and see us, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the woman in my arms and how good it felt when she slipped her hands underneath my shirt and began to rake her nails down the skin of my back as our mouths remained fused together. Of course, eventually breathing became an issue, so we had to break apart. We stood there, arms wrapped around each other, foreheads touching, trying to breathe regularly for a long moment.
She was the first to speak. "Wow."
I smiled, kissing the tip of her nose lightly. "Wow yourself, princess."
She smiled in return, her hands lightly stroking up and down my back, soothing the scratches her nails had left moments earlier. "So, still worried about Angel?"
I still had a few lingering doubts. After all, I'd seen how intense their relationship was first hand through the visions. And something like that can't just be forgotten. In the end, Buffy Summers was probably going to break my heart... if Angel didn't break my face when he found out about us. But I was willing to chance it.
Giving my slayer one of those crooked grins I'm so famous for, I replied, "I don't know… if I say yes, will I get another kiss like the last one?"
"Maybe… depends on if you say please." She gave me a playful grin and I knew then that I'd made the right choice. But I still had to ask her one more question before I could feel completely at ease.
"Why aren't you were still mad at me for lying to you about who I really am?"
She shrugged, wrapping her arms around my neck and resting her head on my shoulder. "Too many people I care about have died or left. It hurts, Alan. And, back in there, when you told us about how you'd died and I thought about how I'd feel if I lost you again… I just couldn't handle it. So, I decided that I can't afford to hold a grudge. Life's too short. That's my motto."
"Um… what about, you know, the whole demon thing?" I wanted to kick myself. Couldn't I just stop when I was ahead? Why did I have to bring up more troubling questions? I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. That's me: Doyle the masochist.
My thoughts were interrupted when Buffy laughed, the first real laugh I'd ever heard from her. It was a good laugh. "Hey, my past loves were a vampire and a soldier! I think I can handle one half demon." She paused, giving me a long look. "Unless there's something else you haven't told me…?"
I shook my head quickly. "Nope, the demon thing, that was pretty much my big secret." I was reminded briefly of saying similar words to my 'Delia once, though that seemed like a lifetime ago.
"Good," she replied, looping her arms around my neck. "Cuz I've had enough surprises for one night."
I nodded, pulling her close and resting my cheek against hers. "Me, too, lass."
Continued in Warmth, part four of the series…
I heard the crunch of footsteps on gravel and I knew without turning around to look that she'd followed me. Her hand on my arm a moment later only confirmed it. I pulled away from her. "I don't need your pity, Buffy," I hissed, trying to keep from exploding.
"What?" she asked, actually managing to sound confused. And the academy award for best actress goes to…
"You know what I mean, so don't try to deny it," I replied, stubbornly refusing to turn around and look her in the eyes.
"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, so you'd better start explaining yourself, mister." I could actually hear the animosity brewing in her voice. I could just imagine her standing there, all righteous anger, her hands placed firmly on her hips as the sparks burned in her eyes. That was my Buffy, full of spunk to the last. Even when she was just coming out here to let me down gently before we made the long trek to LA and the vampire of her dreams.
I sighed, shoving my hands in my jacket pockets and finally turning around to face her. I wanted to be looking in her eyes when she admitted everything. I wanted to be strong. Of course, it didn't help that she looked like a vision, standing there with her long, golden curls - I assumed she'd had that done recently. Her hair had been straight when we'd met in Las Vegas - and perfect lips. What I really wanted to do was grab her and kiss her breathless while I still had the chance. But I didn't. I wasn't going to let her know how much she got to me. Not when she was about to stomp all over what was left of my heart. "You and Angel and the Romeo and Juliet/true love never dies thing you got going on between you."
"What does my relationship with Angel have to do with you?"
Could she really be this dense? Or did she just think of me as that guy she had a fling with once? Someone unimportant. Someone easily brushed off at a moment's notice. Somehow, that was even worse than the pity scenario. "You're about to go running back to tall, dark and broody and I don't wanna stick around to watch you both kiss and make up, all right?" I demanded. I was starting to lose control of what little calm I had left. This was not good.
"Why?" There was something in her voice. I couldn't describe it, but it sounded… hopeful? I must have been imagining things. After all, my mum always did say that I had an over-active imagination. I used to think it was a blessing. But right now, it was being particularly cruel to me.
Taking a deep breath, I decided to be honest. After all the lies I'd told, I couldn't stand adding another to the list. I knew I'd probably regret it in the morning, but at the moment I could care less about how pathetic I sounded. Buffy deserved the truth, even if she was about to leave me for Angel. "Because I love you too much to watch you throw yourself at another guy. If I saw you and Angel together, I'd probably have to punch him. An since we both know that he can pretty much kick my butt any day of the week, and twice on Sunday, that wouldn't be a very smart thing for me to do." I was proud of myself. My voice only faltered once during that speech.
Buffy was silent for a long moment while I waited for her to respond. After a while, I began to panic. Did she hate me now? Was she totally disgusted? Or was she just trying really hard not to laugh in my face? Then a smile appeared on her face like a ray of sunshine parting the rain clouds. I was guessing it was going to be option C. I prepared myself to be laughed at. But the mocking laughter never came. Instead, she reached out a hand and touched my cheek tenderly.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're an idiot?"
Wait, she was going to insult me now? My day just kept getting worse and worse. And it didn't help that her hand touching my skin was extremely distracting. My eyes moved to her lips against my will. All I could manage at this point was a really intelligent, "Huh?"
She chuckled to herself, which made me wonder what the joke was. I had a sinking suspicion that it was me. "You're a cute idiot, but an idiot all the same."
Then she did something totally unexpected. Her hand slid from my cheek back around to the nape of my neck and she pulled me forward into a mind- blowing kiss. It started off as a light brush of her lips against mine, but then she sucked gently on my lower lip, causing me to moan softly. Taking advantage of my now open mouth, she slipped her tongue inside, stroking my tongue with hers. Forgetting all of my earlier plans for "being strong" in a heartbeat, I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against me, quickly burying my hands in her hair and tilting her head back to deepen the kiss. We were standing on the gravel driveway outside of Giles' apartment where anyone could just walk by and see us, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the woman in my arms and how good it felt when she slipped her hands underneath my shirt and began to rake her nails down the skin of my back as our mouths remained fused together. Of course, eventually breathing became an issue, so we had to break apart. We stood there, arms wrapped around each other, foreheads touching, trying to breathe regularly for a long moment.
She was the first to speak. "Wow."
I smiled, kissing the tip of her nose lightly. "Wow yourself, princess."
She smiled in return, her hands lightly stroking up and down my back, soothing the scratches her nails had left moments earlier. "So, still worried about Angel?"
I still had a few lingering doubts. After all, I'd seen how intense their relationship was first hand through the visions. And something like that can't just be forgotten. In the end, Buffy Summers was probably going to break my heart... if Angel didn't break my face when he found out about us. But I was willing to chance it.
Giving my slayer one of those crooked grins I'm so famous for, I replied, "I don't know… if I say yes, will I get another kiss like the last one?"
"Maybe… depends on if you say please." She gave me a playful grin and I knew then that I'd made the right choice. But I still had to ask her one more question before I could feel completely at ease.
"Why aren't you were still mad at me for lying to you about who I really am?"
She shrugged, wrapping her arms around my neck and resting her head on my shoulder. "Too many people I care about have died or left. It hurts, Alan. And, back in there, when you told us about how you'd died and I thought about how I'd feel if I lost you again… I just couldn't handle it. So, I decided that I can't afford to hold a grudge. Life's too short. That's my motto."
"Um… what about, you know, the whole demon thing?" I wanted to kick myself. Couldn't I just stop when I was ahead? Why did I have to bring up more troubling questions? I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. That's me: Doyle the masochist.
My thoughts were interrupted when Buffy laughed, the first real laugh I'd ever heard from her. It was a good laugh. "Hey, my past loves were a vampire and a soldier! I think I can handle one half demon." She paused, giving me a long look. "Unless there's something else you haven't told me…?"
I shook my head quickly. "Nope, the demon thing, that was pretty much my big secret." I was reminded briefly of saying similar words to my 'Delia once, though that seemed like a lifetime ago.
"Good," she replied, looping her arms around my neck. "Cuz I've had enough surprises for one night."
I nodded, pulling her close and resting my cheek against hers. "Me, too, lass."
Continued in Warmth, part four of the series…