What Shall We Do With A Pokemon?
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Author's Note: Pokemon hatefic-poetry, inspired by the song "What Shall We Do With the Drunken Sailor" and a box of Pokemon macaroni at the local Jewel. Thank you.
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What shall we do with a Pikachu?
Boil him up for a Pokestew
Freeze him until his face turns blue
*That's* what we do with a Pikachu!

What shall we do with a Charmander?
Chop the head off that mangy cur!
Drop it in the crock-pot, spice and stir
*That's* what we do with a Charmander!

What shall we do with a Poliwhirl?
Feed him until he'll choke and hurl
Send him to *Roquet* for a permanent curl
*That's* what we do with a Poliwhirl!

What shall we do with a Jigglypuff?
Now, now, please don't get in a huff
Take out his giblets, roast and stuff
*That's* what we do with a Jigglypuff!

What shall we do with a Bulbasaur?
Shake him up to his very core
Fix him up with a Nidoqueen wh0re
*That's* what we do with a Bulbasaur!

What shall we do with Pidgeotto?
Why, we know *just* how to make him go
The answer's so simple: a drink of Draino
*That's* what we do with Pidgeotto!

What shall we do with Mr. Mime?
('Cause *this* Pokemon is a horrible crime)
Mace him and feed him to Arcanine
*That's* what we do with Mr. Mime!

We're sure there's more than just these few
And every few days we'll add some new
Ways to kill even Gyrados or *Mew*
'Cause most of these methods are taught to me by Mewtwo!