mbsilvana@yahoo.com
standard disclaimers
Author's Note: I don't LIKE SuperS, but I do like the Amazon Trio- especially Fish Eye. He reminds me of Nuriko, and episode 149 is perhaps the most touching in the entire series- the best form of redemption.
As I sit in the rain, the
wet streams racing down my chilled body, I curse my stupidity.
Fish Eye no baka. We all are idiots, my brothers and I.
How could we not have known before?
I do not remember
anything prior to a few months ago aside from vague images.
The rain reminds me of the cool water that used to surround my body.
I really was a fish, I guess- but I bet I was the most beautiful fish in
the entire pond.
My clothes are well
and truly soaked; I bet I've ruined them. Not that it matters.
In a few weeks, I will be nothing more then a fish, and if Nehelenia has
anything to say about it, I will be a dead fish. She is not
known for forgiving failure. I bet the Amazoness Quartet will have
a fish fry and eat me for dinner. Not a comforting thought.
But I don't deserve
comfort. Comfort is meant for people with kindness, and my
brothers and I have proven time and again we are cruel. After
all, what could be more reprehensible then stealing the dreams of others?
I'm so very very jealous of those who have them.
What was it about
that girl, I wonder? The one Mamo-chan prefers over me?
Why should she be blessed with the ability to dream? She had
no idea what a gift she has- not only are her dreams plentiful, but she
has Mamo-chan. The first man I've ever loved.
Tiger Eye and Hawk
Eye are always repulsed when I go all googol-eyed over some man, but I
can't help the way I am- I'm a homosexual- and there's nothing wrong with
that. I will admit that I jerk their chains by flirting with
them, but I simply can't be attracted to either of them. Sure,
they're handsome enough, but their personalities are enough to send anyone
with even an ounce of sanity through the ceiling. So vain- but I
wonder if their vanity hides something else. Something like
fear.
It's terrifying to
realize how very fragile your life is. I'm granted this shape
by enchantment, but soon the enchantment will be broken. I wonder
why I never notice that I wasn't human before- I always shrugged off my
scaly hands, tried to cope with my aulirophobia. God, I hate
cats. The first thing I'll do when we conquer Earth-
Why am I going off
on such a tangent? I won't be there to see it.
When the next New Moon comes... I shudder to think of it. I
just can't imagine life as a fish... and I can't imagine Tiger Eye without
his golden hair, or Hawk Eye without his that knowing smirk of his.
Kami-sama, I love those two. They're the only family I have.
I would gladly die for them, strange as it sounds. We are loyal
to one another- we're all each other has.
I had hoped to have
that elusive emotion they call love for myself. Chiba Mamoru-
his name sets my heart racing, and I am jealous beyond anything I have
ever known, though I have known very little. Three months of
memories- not that long a time, but long enough for me to know how much
I love living. But I loved him more. I offered
to give up my life for him, if only he would spend until the time the spell
breaks with me. But he refused, and I guess I love him even
more for that. He's so loyal, a man I can easily admire.
What's really ironic is that after all I went through, he didn't even have
Pegasus. I always knew that horse was an idiot- the man's dreams
were the most beautiful I've ever seen, and if I was Pegasus, I would gladly
live in his dreams for eternity. I can't understand them entirely-
they feature that girl prominently, but also the image of a Crystal City
that seems too vivid to be just a dream. There's a story there.
I wish Mamo-chan would tell me what it was. I can imagine it
now, us sitting together in front of a warm fire, sipping from delicate
tea-cups as he affectionately tousles my long hair.
Bah! I'm such
a fool, I know it. A prince isn't going to save me. True,
I'm under a spell, but I'm no princess to be saved from the evil witch.
No, the evil witch will destroy me and my brothers, and I can do nothing
about it!
Life is so unfair.
I may be more powerful then ordinary mortals, but it can't buy me happiness.
I wish I could just get to have a dream- just one. Surely that's
not too much to ask, is it? A beautiful dream, all my own, not stolen
glimpses of the dreams of others. I can't remember a more horrifying
moment then the second I tried to summon a mirror from Tiger Eye and failed.
All my lemures seem obsessed with beautiful things, and I suppose I am
as well- beautiful dreams...
She's here... that girl,
looking at me with gentle eyes that are filled with the promise of something
I don't understand. She says something to me I only half-hear,
and then helps me to my feet. She's a wonderful creature, willing
to share her umbrella with her rival. But then again, she can
afford to be gracious. I never stood a chance.
Not against someone like her.
I guess I do dream
in a way- I dream of having a dream. Does that count?
For some reason, I doubt it.
END