"Anya, wait." Xander stopped his girlfriend from steaming into the hospital. "I want to tell you something first." Anya listened attentively. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but when we go in there … please don't say anything … insensitive."
"Insensitive? How do you mean?"
"Well …I think Buffy and Willow might be a little upset if you said, "I liked Giles. Giles was nice." Or anything like that."
"Why?"
"Well, An … he's not dead. I know it might look nasty, but we all want him to pull through. I know you do too, but sometimes you forget some things. Just think before you speak, OK?" He tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. He was hurting inside, Giles was like a Dad to him. No matter what he said to Anya, from what Buffy had told him, it didn't look too good. He just wanted to keep both her morale high, and his own.
"I promise. So can we go in now?" She noticed that Xander seemed to be looking in a different direction. "Xander?"
"Uh … you go ahead, An. I'll catch you in a minute." As Anya walked away, Xander rounded the corner, and came face to face with a weeping Cordelia.
"Cordelia! What's wrong?!" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realised that was a really stupid question. "I mean … why are you out here instead of inside with the others?"
"He wrote me a letter," she began, quietly. "He said he loves me." She turned to him. "Xander, I didn't know! I really didn't know. Am I completely stupid? What if it's too late?!"
"Shh-shh, hey, shhh. It'll be OK." He awkwardly gave her a friendly cuddle, and as she lay her head on his chest her whole body relaxed. He rubbed his hand in circles on her back, and she began to quieten.
"Xander?"
"Yeah?"
"I love him too." Her friend pulled back slightly to look at her.
"Are you sure? I mean, this is gonna sound really mean, so please don't take it the wrong way –"
"But?"
"But are you positive you don't just think you feel like this because of what's happened to him?"
"I'm sure."
"And it's not pity."
"Positive."
"Did you know before? That you love him, I mean."
"The same night he realised it about me. Remember when he was in LA a few weeks ago? We sat up half the night talking. He spoke to me as if I was an adult. He told me things he hasn't ever told anyone else, not even Buffy. And when I had a vision, he took care of me. He didn't leave me until he was sure I was fine. He was there, in my room, when I went to sleep. I went to sleep that night knowing that I loved him. I was also pretty sure he didn't feel the same."
"Oh, Cordy. I hope he'll be fine."
"I know it's not likely Xan. They told me. But I can hope, can't I?" Xander smiled.
"You certainly can."
***
Giles' eyes snapped open. He remembered his encounter with Glory, and was surprised that he didn't feel more pain. He looked at the ceiling, and realised that he wasn't in his own bed. He looked to one side, and realised that he was in a hospital bed. He looked to the other side and saw…
"Jenny?" He didn't understand why she was sitting next to him. Unless he was –
"You aren't dead, Rupert."
"Then how -?"
"You aren't alive either. You're on the brink of death. The big guy upstairs sent me to show you how much you have to live for. To make you fight for your life. You deserve to live the whole thing, not die here, like this. Follow me." She stood up, and reached out her hand. Taking it, he followed her out of the door. The first thing he saw was a tearful Buffy comforting Dawn.
"I'm guessing they can't see either of us?"
"You're too good at this, Rupert." The two walked through the glass doors, towards the area where Buffy and Dawn sat. He got just close enough to hear their conversation (at Jenny's prompt), without being so close he felt as if he were intruding.
"Buffy, he's gonna die, isn't he? Just like mom did."
"Dawn honey, I'm sure the doctors will do their best –"
"Like they did with mom? Are they gonna cut a hole in his skull and say he's fine, and then let him die too?"
"Dawn, I –"
"I DON'T WANT HIM TO DIE! Ever since mom died, he's been like surrogate mom. And a dad, both at the same time. I don't want to lose another parent, Buffy. I couldn't stand it. He's so lovely, and nice, and gentle. And he's kind, and funny, and … well, he's Giles! He CAN'T die!" At that, the teenager burst into floods of tears, and Buffy did the best to comfort her.
Jenny tugged on Giles' hand, and they walked over to where Willow and Tara sat.
"He can't die, Tara. Who else will be there to help me with my magic, or tell me not to do stuff?"
"I d…don't know. Please don't cry, Willow."
"I just couldn't stand it if he died."
The look on Tara's face showed that she was scared Willow might go into total meltdown if he died. She hadn't coped well with Joyce's death, and this was so soon, she was reacting even worse.
"I don't w…want him to die, either. He's been really n…nice to me."
"He's nice to everyone, y'know? It's part of what makes him Giles." The frightened witch looked into her girlfriend's eyes, before burying her face in Tara's chest. Giles could make out a muffled "he CAN'T die!" before Anya came round the corner.
"Willow, Tara, thank God you're here." Willow jumped up.
"Why? What is it?? Has something happened? Is it Xander??"
"No, I just … I got lost three times already and I thought maybe I was gonna die here." Her hand flew to her mouth in horror, remembering what Xander had said to her. His voice echoed in her ears. 'Think before you speak!'
Choosing to ignore Anya's comment, Tara changed the subject.
"Where's Xander?"
"Uh … I left him outside, but I got lost so many times I thought he would be here already. Isn't he?"
"No, not yet."
"Willow?" Anya said the name tentatively.
"What?"
"I *really* like Giles. He's a good boss. And he's a nice man. He didn't even ask for my birth certificate when he gave me a job. Which is good, coz, I don't have one. I don't want him to die." She thought for a moment, and continued when neither of the witches replied. "That wasn't insensitive, right? Coz I'm doing my best."
Willow almost laughed, and reached over to hug Anya. "It was fine." She smiled.
Jenny indicated that it was time for them to leave here, as she saw Wesley and Angel coming back along the corridor with coffee. From the look in her eyes, it seemed that she was still uncomfortable being around Angel. Not surprising after the way he killed her.
Giles broke out of his thoughts and looked up. They were outside the hospital, but he didn't recognise anyone there. He looked at Jenny inquisitively, and she led him around a corner. His eyes softened when he saw Cordelia crying into Xander's shoulder.
"Go on." Jenny whispered. "I know you love her. I'm glad." She pushed him forwards, and he walked until he was close enough to hear.
"He talked to me like I was an adult. Not many people do that any more. He respects me, and I couldn't stand it if I could never see him again, to tell him that. I didn't have the chance to tell him how grateful I was for the way he helped me with my vision. I won't let him die, Xander. I WON'T LET IT HAPPEN. I need him too much."
"Is that a promise?"
"Damn straight." She gave him a tight smile, before dissolving into tears again. Giles felt tears spring into his own eyes, and turned back to Jenny.
"Is that it? I've seen enough here."
She nodded. "That's it. But first, do you see how many people love you, in so many different ways. Like a father to Dawn and Buffy, someone for Willow and Tara to look up to, and take advice from. The same with Xander. And Cordelia … she loves you in so many different ways. But her love is almost stronger than the others put together. Do you want to lose that?" He shook his head. "A lot of people would die to be loved like that. You don't have to."
Suddenly they were back in his room.
"The other reason I came, is so I finally get to say a proper goodbye to you." She leaned on to his bed, and kissed him tenderly on the lips. "Good look with Cordelia." Those last four words were a whisper. He opened his eyes, slowly, and painfully, to see Buffy sitting next to the bed, with Dawn on her knee. The younger girl was fast asleep. Buffy's head nodded and rose again as quickly. Her eyes widened when she saw his eyes were open. She gently shook Dawn awake.
"Look." She pointed at him, and Dawn's face lit up. "Don't try to talk. It's probably painful."
That was an understatement. He felt as if he had been forced to eat sandpaper, and none of his limbs would move. It seemed that his eyes were the only part of his body he had any actual control over.
Buffy spoke again. "Dawn, stay with Giles. I'll go and get someone." Dawn nodded, and Buffy slipped out of the door. She returned a few minutes later with a doctor who ordered the Summers girls to leave the cubicle while he did a few simple tests. Although Giles couldn't move his arms or legs, and he had a headache that felt as if Olaf had gone wild at the Bronze inside his head, he was able to follow the beam of light satisfactorily with his eyes. After a few more tests, the doctor allowed Giles' visitors back in. All of them. He counted them – there were six, not including Angel, who was also there. Wesley, Tara, Willow, Anya, Buffy, and Dawn.
As if reading his mind, Buffy spoke up once more. "Someone's gone out to find Cordelia. She and Xander are around somewhere." As if on cue, the actress walked in, her mascara all over her beautiful face, with Xander behind her. There was a glimmer in her eyes that looked as if she had just won an Oscar, when she had in reality just won back a friend.
A male voice spoke, and Giles suddenly realised that the doctor was still in the room. "As far as I can tell, he's going to be fine." Within seconds, the room was in complete chaos. Dr Simpson had to yell "HOWEVER!" about five times before anyone took the slightest jot of notice. When a relatively calm atmosphere had been restored, he continued. "However, it will be some months before he is able to get around like you are most probably used to. He may never completely return to his old self. There are some very likely possibilities, such as having to use a walking stick, but we needn't discuss those now. It seems that he is able to comprehend everything we say, so we will find some way of allowing him to communicate as soon as we can. It is likely that his throat will be the fastest to heal, and he should really be talking quietly in a few days." He looked around at the shining faces. "I can see you're too delighted to really take any of this information in, so I'll leave it there for now. Please go home, get some rest. Don't stay too long now – any over exertion could slow down the healing process remarkably." At with those wise words, he left.
Suddenly babbling faces surrounded Giles, so he didn't see Buffy hand Cordelia a white piece of paper.
"I thought you might want to keep it," she explained. "I haven't read it."
"Thankyou."
Then Cordelia and Buffy became part of the rabble!