DISCLAIMER: As usual, I don't own squat. Zilch. Zero. Nada. Those lucky multimillionaire bastards at Squaresoft own it all, the FF characters, the settings, everything. 'Nobody Wants to be Lonely' belongs to Ricky Martin, or his record label, or whoever.
SUMMARY: Quifer songfic~ Ultimecia is dead, the heroes have succeeded, the world is saved and things are beginning to look up. Two blondes, concealed in the flickering shadows of the Garden's ballroom, watch in despondency as everyone finds love except themselves.
NOTE: Words in italics mean thoughts, and words set apart from the text are lyrics.
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Why Don't You Let Me Love You?
--A Quifer songfic by Ethereal Fury
Why, why, why
There you are, in a darkened room
And you're all alone, looking out the window
Quistis Trepe stood alone, champagne glass in hand, in a corner of the Balamb Garden ballroom, half-concealed by the shadows. Her golden hair, not pinned up in its usual severe fashion, cascaded past her shoulders and framed her delicate features. Cornflower blue eyes scanned the room, warily watching the couples dancing. She sighed inwardly; it was another of those boring Garden parties thrown in celebration of their defeat of Ultimecia. Quistis, usually a moderately socially-outgoing person, was beginning to resent the numerous balls and had taken to observing rather than participating, standing by herself in a corner.
Funny, this is so reminiscent of Squall, she thought with sarcasm, wincing inwardly at the thought of Squall—the cold and aloof commander of SeeD, her childhood friend, the one man that had won the heart of the Ice Queen but didn't love her back. He'd always thought of her as the Instructor while she ached with all her being to reach out to him, comfort him. And now he had Rinoa—the straightforward and downright flirtatious Sorceress had succeeded where Quistis had failed; she'd captured Squall's stone heart. The Angel and the Lion, forever meant to be, she thought bitterly with a slightly mocking tone as her gaze fell upon the dancing couple: mahogany locks and stormy blue eyes contrasting midnight black hair and chocolate eyes. Quistis turned away as a wave of jealousy inundated her. She couldn't take it; she couldn't make herself watch them revel in their newfound happiness while she stood alone and cold off to the sidelines.
Your heart is cold and lost the will to love
Like a broken arrow
Here I stand in the shadows
Was I just meant to be alone? To grow alone and die alone without having someone to love me? she thought, her gaze shifting to where cowboy Irvine was attempting to get a petite but exuberant Selphie to slow-dance with him. She almost grinned at the sight— the striking height disparity between the two; Selphie hopping from foot to foot as Irvine tried to steer her in the steps of the slow dance. Good old cheerful Selphie always made Quistis smile with her radiating optimism and contagious happiness. But not tonight, Quistis amended heavily, seeking out the energetic blond warrior who let his fists do the talking. Zell. She spotted him over by the punch bowl talking to Alys, the perky librarian with the ponytail he'd had a crush on for ages.
Everyone's got somebody but me. The Orphanage Gang is all grown up and in love but bossy little Quisty, child prodigy Quisty, ex-Instructor Quisty, savior-of-the-world Quisty. No, she's all alone, hiding in a corner by herself, watching others live the life she wish she had, she contemplated, tears springing to her eyes and hands shaking as she raised the champagne glass to her lips. She was supposed to be strong, icy, as impassive as Squall himself; that's the aura she gave off... so why was this affecting her so much? It was nothing but a trivial matter!
Come to me, come to me
Can't you see that
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
So bad it hurts inside
At the other end of the ballroom, a blond figure clad in a gray trench coat with the crosses of the knights of old upon his sleeves watched the Instructor intently. He, Seifer Almasy, the Sorceress' lapdog, had been readmitted into Garden by Headmaster Cid. He had seen the wrong in his actions, how Ultimecia had corrupted his dream and led him astray, and pleaded for a second chance. He'd returned to redeem himself, to become a SeeD and prove that he wasn't just the problematic child who couldn't follow orders. But there had been another reason behind his return—the very woman he was watching now. He'd always loved to tease her, irritate her, anger her, push her buttons, all to make her notice him. He hadn't seen it before but he'd always liked Quistis, even as far back as the orphanage. But she'd never had more than contempt or disapproval towards him. She'd always defended Squall, demanding Seifer stop picking on him.
Perfect little Squall. Cute little Squall. Over-achieving little Squall. Attention-getting little Squall. My archenemy little Squall, he thought angrily. None of them had realized Seifer teased the others so little Quisty would come running to defend them, hands on her minute hips and blue eyes flashing dangerously. Seifer watched Quistis scan the room, her eyes resting on each of her friends, her cool composure crumbling with each passing second. He drained his wineglass and pushed himself off the wall with a sigh.
Great Almasy. You just had to fall for the Instructor didn't you. It's bad enough you tried to kill them. This is gonna be good: "Hey Quisty, sorry 'bout trying to kill you and destroy the world... I'm actually in love with you", he muttered under his breath as his feet carried him across the ballroom to where the Ice Queen was finally breaking down.
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why (why), why don't you let me love you
Why, why (oh why), why
Quistis, too occupied wallowing in her own thoughts to notice Seifer's approach jumped in surprise when a heavy yet comforting hand landed on her shoulder. She whipped around, her face falling into its customary expressionless mask, eyes resting upon a familiar tall blond frame—that of her enemy. But he's not the enemy anymore, is he? she thought, peering into his sincere jade green eyes and feeling her heart beating slightly faster and her knees weakening.
What is wrong with you? You cannot fall for him Quistis, he's Seifer. Seifer! she scolded herself, annoyed at how she was reacting to his presence. This wasn't right; she wasn't supposed to be able to stand his presence, let alone enjoy it! He'd tried to kill them all and destroy the world; there was no way she could have feelings for someone like that... was there?
Can you hear my voice, do you hear my song
It's a serenade, so your heart can find me
Seifer watched the conflicting emotions flicker in her eyes. She looked so vulnerable; he just wanted to sweep her into his arms and protect her from all harm, be her righteous knight. But he refrained from touching her, his hand on her shoulder the only contact between their skins, but still enough to send sparks through both their bodies. He cocked his head to the side and studied her delicate features, finally breaking the silence with the soft utterance of one word, "Quistis."
She felt herself being drawn into his mesmerizing gaze, concern etched in every angle of his handsome face. No witty comments, no arrogant smirk…just concern and… was there something else? Quistis, you are being ridiculous. You do not love him and he does not love you, she stated firmly, but a part of her cried out … or does he? She was tired of internal battles, of suppressing emotions, of being alone. Without even realizing it, she fell into his warm, comforting, embrace. To hell with worrying about what others might say, what he may think, whether or not this was unprofessional. She just wanted some comfort, someone to assure her that there was nothing wrong with her, that someone was going to love her like Squall loved Rinoa, that she would have her fairytale ending too. And right now, she didn't much care if that someone was Seifer.
And suddenly you're flying down the stairs
Into my arms baby
Before I start going crazy
Run to me
Run to me
Cause I'm dying…
"Is my distress really that obvious?" she murmured against his chest. She wasn't thinking; words were just flowing from her mouth unbidden. They'd been kept locked away for too long.
Seifer stroked her long golden hair and shook his head. "You gotta know where to look." There wasn't a hint of his usual biting sarcasm in his voice, that edge that said "I don't give a damn about rules, authority, or anything anyone says" that always drove her crazy... there was just sincerity and the slightest bit of tenderness.
It was confusing, the tone of his voice. Quistis wasn't used to seeing him like this. She pulled away far enough to be able to look at him fully. "Why are you doing this Seifer?" There had to be some ulterior motive; there always was with Seifer. What did he want this time? To humiliate her more, to rub in her face the fact that she was a mediocre instructor who had failed three times to make him pass the SeeD exam?
Because I care… because I've just realized I'm in love with you… because I don't want you to slip away, all ran through his mind, but instead he shrugged and replied, "That's what friends are for, right?" Again, there was nothing of the old Seifer in his tone; no teasing, no taunting, no contempt, no cockiness. Just sincerity... he really meant it; after all these years, after making her life impossible from the orphanage to Balamb Garden, he wanted to be friends.
It was ludicrous! She and Seifer friends? Inconceivable! Oh, but why keep old hatreds alive Quistis? And you can't deny that you're enjoying this far more than you should. I think 'friends' isn't going to work for the two of you; there it was again, the cool soothing voice of her Guardian Force, Shiva, sweeping like a calming breeze through her heated emotions. Quistis nodded; Shiva was right, at least in part: why keep the hatred alive when he seemed so willing to put it past them? It may feel odd at first, but in time she could learn to be friends with Seifer. Everyone made mistakes in their lives and made choices that led them astray; Seifer wasn't alone in that... the feelings she had harbored for Squall over the years and not acted upon until it was too late were her mistake. "Friends… yeah, I guess," she whispered aloud, resting her head back onto his chest and closing her eyes.
Seifer shut his eyes tightly and enjoyed the comfortable feel of her slender frame in his arms, the peachy smell of her hair. Friends, just friends Almasy, he told himself, hugging her tighter in an attempt to erase her loneliness. He would not screw this up again; she had extended the olive branch to him by agreeing to be friends, and by Hyne he would be there for her when she needed it. Even if it killed him inside that 'friends' was all they would ever be. He was a warrior; he could take the pain, couldn't he?
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why (why)…
Why don't you let me love you? Seifer wondered to himself, resting his cheek upon her soft curls.
Why, why, why
Oh why, why, why, why, why…
Why, why, why
I wanna feel you need me
Just like the air you're breathing
I need you here in my life
As much as she hated to admit it, Quistis felt secure in his arms; right and complete for the first time. But this can't be right she pondered. He tried to kill us, I should despise him! Instead I'm… in love with him? She jumped at the realization and wriggled out of his arms.
No I can't be! He's always been an annoying arrogant bully, totally not my type, she reasoned. But then why did a part of her scream out that she was meant to be forever safe in his arms? Confused, Quistis turned away. "Seifer, thank you for your comfort… I… I need some fresh air," she muttered, heading for the balcony.
Don't walk away, don't walk away
Don't walk away, don't walk away
No, no, no, no…
Say something Almasy! The woman of your dreams is walking away and you're just going to let her? What a coward. Seifer shook his head vehemently, making that rogue strand of golden hair sway back and forth with the sharp movement; I'm not a coward, he thought defiantly.
"Quistis," he called out in his deep baritone.
She stopped and turned, no more than 5 feet away from him, confusion reflected in her deep blue eyes. Seifer shifted his weight nervously, trying to conjure up a way to tell her how he felt. She waited patiently, studying him intently, trying to sort out her own emotions as well.
"Quistis… I…" he began, but couldn't get the words out. He looked at her, silently pleading with her to stay, to not walk out of his life like she had those many years ago when she had been adopted and he'd done nothing to stop it.
Quistis returned his steady gaze, searching his captivating jade eyes for an implied meaning, something that wouldn't come out of his lips. As she watched him standing there helplessly, unable to say what he wanted, she felt her heart leap. Clearly written in his eyes was 'I love you', the agony of not being able to say it to her evident in every line of his face. Without another word, she threw herself into his embrace again.
"I don't want to be lonely anymore," she sobbed onto his shoulder.
Seifer wrapped his arms around her small waist and hugged her tight. "You won't be, I promise."
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry (ooh)
Nobody want s to be lonely (I don't wanna be lonely)
Nobody wants to cry (I don't wanna cry)
My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why (why), why don't you let me love you
"Let me love you," he whispered into her ear.