Modern Proverbs: Stories from the DBZ World II
I DO NOT OWN DRAGONBALL Z. AKIRA TORIYAMA, TOEI ANIMATIONS AND WHOEVER ELSE DOES!
Well, since a lot of people seemed to like the first chapter, I decided to do more! In this part, Bra and Pan go on a vacation, and Cell gets a job! Goku cooks, and more!!!!
So hopefully you will read and enjoy these little stories and Inspirational sayings, and spread the word to your friends...and hope they don't think you are insane:). Some of the story ideas came from my friends and a majority from me. I think you will like these!
Well, please read and review! And thank you for all of the nice reviews earlier! Thank you and Ja ne!
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DATING TERMS WITH TRUNKS AND GOTEN!!
Goten: What is up? Welcome to out really cool show about...girls!
Trunks: Not just about girls, but terms every guy need to know in order to know who that special one is whom you will spend your entire night with...errr...life. Anyway, Goten why don't you start us off, eh? (A/N: I am NOT Canadian, I just like eh! Sound cool!)
Goten: Sure! What is dating? Well, dating is the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't like especially like in the present and will learn to like a whole lot less in the future.
Trunks. Thank you! Next term. Easy: A term used to describe a woman with the morals of a man.
Goten: Ok, Indifference. A woman's feeling towards a man, usually interpreted by a guy as 'playing hard to get.'
Trunks: Yeah. My last girlfriend was like that...
Goten: Martha?
Trunks: Martha? No the brunette.
Goten: Jodi?
Trunks: No.
Goten: Brandy?
Trunks: No.
Goten: Mary
Trunks: No, she was after Audry, Maria, Jessica, and Rachel.
Goten: Bob?
Trunks: Yeah, Bob...WHAT?
Goten: Heeee! Anyway, I will do the next one and the last one! Law of Relativity. This is how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive you date is.
Trunks: Bob....Grr. Well that is our show, or whatever this is, for you today. Remember people, keep you head in the sky and be careful of stuff.
Goten: Yeah! You might fall into a ditch or something bad.
Trunks and Goten: Sayonara, minna!!!!
GOKU LIVE!
Announcer: Welcome all to 'GOKU LIVE!' now welcome our host Son Goku!
(Wild applause as Goku walks in waving to the crowd who is wildly applauding)
Goku: Hi! I am Goku. And today I will be helping people who want to diet put together their menu in order to get the results they want!
(Goku walks over to a table with a bunch of food on the table)
Goku: First this is what you will need for your breakfast: 1/2 Grapefruit, 1 Slice Wheat Toast, and 8oz of Skim Milk.
(Goku places the above food on the table behind him and moves on to the next food grouping.)
Goku: For lunch you will need: 4oz of Chicken Breast, 1 cup of Zucchini, 1 Oreo Cookie and a cup of Green Tea.
(Goku eats the cookie and moves on to the next table)
Goku: For your Mid-Afternoon Snack you will eat the rest of the package of Oreos, 1 quart of Cookie Dough Ice Cream, 1 jar of Hot Fudge.
(Goku quickly eats the Ice Cream and Oreos and moves on)
Goku (mouth full): And, lasfuly...*gulp*....dinner! You will need 2 loaves of Garlic Bread, Large Pepperoni and Mushroom Pizza, Large Pitcher of Soda, 17 Milky Way candy bars, 19 Steaks, 25 bowls of cereal, and an entire frozen Cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer. DO NOT GIVE IT TIME TO DEFROST!
(Goku takes all of the food and walks to a table, sits down and stares at the camera.
Goku: OK! Here are some tips for you people who have just watched my show!
Remember: 1) If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2) If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they will cancel
each other out!
(Goku begin to eat the candy bar and drink the pitcher of soda.)
Goku: Three, when eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat
The same amount. Four, movie foods don't count because they are simply apart of entertainment experience and not apart of one's personal fuel, such as 'Snickers',
'Milk Duds', popcorn with butter, 'Junior Mints', and 'Twizzlers'!
Goku: Well, that's our show for tonight! Thanks for watching! Tomorrow, I will show
You how to evade paying your government taxes! Bye Bye!
(Applause as lights die out)
BRA AND PAN'S VACATION
Bra and Pan were on Spring Vacation. There high school had allowed the children about 3 weeks, so Pan and Bra decided to go to London England.
When they arrived, they were not greeted very nicely. No matter where they went, they were subject to rude behavior from waiters, store clerks, pedestrians, police, dogs ect,.
After a while, it started to annoy them.
"Pan, I want to go shopping!" Bra grabbed her purse and began to storm out of the room. "And I am not going to tolerate and rudeness this time!"
Pan grabbed her wallet and headed towards the door. "Uhh, are you sure you want to do this Bra?"
"YES! Now, let's go!" Bra commanded.
While shopping down town Bra and Pan came across a store.
"Pan, I will be back, I am going to look in here for something, 'k?"
Pan looked at the store and made a face. "Uh, Bra. Are you sure...?"
Bra interrupted Pan. "Yes I am sure! Not please wait here!"
Bra entered the store and began to look around. She noticed she was the only costumer in the store. As she was looking through the clothes on the rack, a clerk hurriedly approached her and abruptly asked if he could help her.
Bra was very angry now. "No! I do not need your help. I am perfectly capable of looking at clothes myself." Bra turned and continued to look at the clothes while all of the clerks were looking at her.
Defiantly, Bra continued to look at the clothes a few more moments. When should could no longer stand this treatment, she turned on her heels, lifted her head high and left the shop.
As Bra left, she noticed that the sign on the store read...
'Dry Cleaners.'
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INSPIRATIONAL SAYINGS
Gohan: If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't
Completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Yamcha: Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG the 14 time gives you job security.
Goku: Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
Authors Note: I don't really think Goku is stupid, just naïve
Yajirobe: Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
Vegeta: The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Goten: Aim Low; Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
18-year-old Goten was lying on the sofa around 12 noon when her realized that it was his father's birthday. Goten grabbed some change and rushed to a corner store to grab a card. He quickly found a father-son card, but neglected to read it carefully.
At Goku's party, Goten was the last to give his father his gift. "Sorry dad, it was all I could afford!"
Goku just smiled at his youngest. "It's alright Goten. It's the thought that counts."
"Read it out loud Dad!" yelled Gohan from the corner.
"Ok!" Goku opened the card and read out loud, very slowly, "Happy Birthday to the greatest Father in the entire world!"
"Awwww!" the whole roomed sighted.
Goku opened the card and began to read the card again.
"Now that I am a father too...."
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OXYMORONIC SAYINGS FROM THE DBZ STARS
Bulma: Some people say I am superficial, but that is just on the surface.
Krillian: On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other hand, I am not.
Vegeta: If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
Piccolo: The world is full of apathy, but I don't care
Vegeta: Evil is not all that bad.
Yamcha: I have my doubts about disbelief.
Juuhachigou: I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I am not.
Goten: Death to all fanatics, yeah!
Goku: My identity does lies in not knowing who I am...at least until my brother
Radditz arrives, but that's a WHOLE 'nother story!
Trunks: I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
Gohan: Life is full of uncertainties...or could I be wrong about that?
CELL'S FIRST JOB
After being freed from HFIL for good behavior (O_o), Cell was allowed to spend time on Earth for a week. In that weeks time however, Cell needed a job to help him survive. He couldn't kill people because King Enma would not give him another hearing for 16,000,000 years if he did. So he decided to take the safe route and applied and got a job as a life insurance salesman...err...insect, bug, whatever.
When walking through a nice neighborhood, he stopped at a house that invited him in for a chat. But the couple in the house was hesitant about signing up for a life insurance policy.
Cell smiled calmly at the couple. "I certainly don't want to frighten you into a decision," he announced as he got up to leave.
As he reached the door, Cell added, "Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think. Goodybye."
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INTERSTING SAYINGS!!!!!!
Goku: There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that I have a wife that can cook unlike Vegeta.
Vegeta: When I am feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbors dog run to the end of the chain and gag himself. HA HA!
Krillian: He who hesitates is probably right.
Piccolo: Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Chi Chi: Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else!
Bulma: Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstyle you'll like.
Yajirobe: Brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever.
Goku: Inside of all of us, there is a person who is saying, 'Don't eat that, you don't need it'. But they can usually be sedated with about 23 pieces of chocolate cake. Heh, Heh, Heh!
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ACK! Well that was all! Boy, that was just as long as my 'Wacky Adventures of Goku and Vegeta' series (which I really need to finish sometime!) Any way...PLEASE REVIEW! And thank you for reading this thing! Hopefully I was good. I worked REALLY, REALLY late on it 2:30...And I have college classes today....Oh well.... When I load this I will be in Philosophy discussing why Socrates should have escaped...Ja ne and Review Please! Good Night...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.